HIV~AIDS: ¿WHO IS THE HIGHLY FAVORED?

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In living in the risking era of SEX and H. I. V. ~A. I. D. S. one would sit AND think that HOMOSEXUAL and HETEROSEXUAL alike would each share the burden of this disease, but SADLY this is NOT the scenario. The reality is if you are a SEXUALLY active HOMOSEXUAL that you are @ risk of coming in contact with H. I. V. or A. I. D. S. It has been said that H. I. V. ~A. I. D. S. does NOT discriminate OR cling to certain groups that partake in SEXUAL activity, however society is blind to this fact. In fact they F&CK as if they are somewhat immune to H. I. V. ~A. I. D. S. which is TOTALLY thoughtless. If SEX just cost we SAME~SEX~PRONE individuals OUR lives, why is does REALITY say that there are babies being born with the disease? This can only infer the notion that even if they are using condoms that they are NOT 100% safe. Hence ALL of us are in the same boat because CONDOMS are NOT a safety net. I guess this is why condoms are for the purpose of SAFER SEX and NOT SAFE SEX! I am NOT about to play the game of who is MORE promiscuous than the other. Nonetheless, if one really thinks about both sides of the SEXUAL revolution, one would notice that just as much OR maybe more HETEROSEXUALS succumb to their SEXUAL desires in the same vain as HOMOSEXUALS do. They take each other home after a night of partying AND engage in UNPROTECTED SEX…HOPING THAT THE OTHER IS CLEAN. ONE LIKE MYSELF WONDERS WHY THERE ISN’T ANY CULTURAL PRESSURE FOR THEM TO GET TESTED? I find it VERY strange how mandatory testing comes into play when a woman gets pregnant OR a couple needs insurance for the home they are purchasing. This kind of mentality is EXACTLY why the disease is looked upon as a symptom of tradition that is tailor-made for the GAY LIFESTYLE. The HETEROSEXUAL community hides their PROMISCUOUS and RISK TAKING BEHAVIOR behind their SOCIALLY ACCEPTED position in society. I PERSONALLY feel that HETEROSEXUALS take a bigger risk because they are under the ILLUSION that they are having SEX in the manner in which it should be done. However if both sides did a count of the partners they’ve had, go over AND over again what AND how they had sex; would one side fall AND the other rise? I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT! Given the statistics, SAFE sex is the best way to stay negative. Too many of us are NOT slipping on a condom before we get down…THIS CLASSIC & CARELESS BEHAVIOR SMEAR THE SEXUAL LINES. THEY SAY THAT HIV IS NOT WHAT IT USE TO BE…BUT WITH ALL THE HOPE THAT MODERN SCIENCE OFFERS, I AM STILL CRUSHED WHEN A FRIEND REVEALS TO ME THAT HAVE TESTED POSITIVE. I SEE HIV AS A. I. D. S. AS SOMETHING THAT IS TAKING AWAY FROM THE COMMUNITY; BOTH GAY & STRAIGHT ALIKE. AS A COMMUNITY WE CANNOT ALLOW THIS DISEASE TO DESTROY US, THIS DOUBLE STANDARD THAT EXIST NEEDS TO CEASE BECAUSE H. I. V. ~A. I. D. S. DOES NOT PARTIALLY EXISTS. FOR THE LIFE OF ME I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW THE HETEROSEXUAL COMMUNITY CAN RESPECT EACH OTHER FOR THE WAY THEY ARE PUTTING EACH OTHER @ RISK! I AM AWARE THAT FINDING or BEING IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IS VERY CHALLENGING, SO MOST OF US ARE ALONE. MASTURBATION ONLY GOES SO FAR WHEREAS SEX IS GREAT…MY QUESTION IS IF WE DO NOT PROTECT SEX FROM OURSELVES HOW CAN WE TRULY ENJOY IT?

INTERCONNECTED EXPERIENCES

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When events appear to fit together perfectly in our lives it may seem at first that they are random occurrences, things that are the result of coincidence. These synchronous happenings, though, are much more than that, for, if we look at them more closely they can show us that the universe is listening to us and gently communicating with us. Learning to pay attention to and link the things that occur on a daily basis can be a way for us to become more attuned to the fact that most everything happens in our lives for a reason – even when that reason is not clear right away. When we realize that things often go more smoothly than we can ever imagine, it allows us to take the time to reflect on the patterns in our lives. Even events that might not at first seem to be related to each other are indicators that the universe is working with, not against, us. This idea of synchronicity, then, means that we have to trust there is more to our lives than what we experience on a physical level. We need to be willing to look more closely at the bigger picture, accepting and having confidence in the fact that there is more to our experiences than immediately meets the eye. Being open to synchronicity also means that we have to understand that our lives are filled with both positive and negative events. Once we can recognize that one event is neither more desirable nor better than the other – they all have an overall purpose in our lives -- then we are truly ready to listen to the messages the universe gives us. While we may not be able to see everything in our lives as being synchronous, we can certainly use hindsight to be more aware of how the universe guides us. This sense of wonder at the mysteries of the universe and the interconnectedness present in our lives will help us see our overall ways of being and will in turn make it easier to work more consciously towards our spiritual evolution.

¿WHY SEX?

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+JUS FOR THE MEN+

1. 94% of men lie about their dick size. According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of men need to use extra large condoms.
2. The average man is 4-5 inches long when erect; no matter what you have heard ladies that are the truth. Incidentally the average vaginal capacity is Only 6 inches, for you women who think you can handle king dong.
3. 80% of men are circumcise, though Pediatrics say it is not necessary.
4. No matter what all the ads say nothing but time can make your penis grow. (Most men reach the end of their growth by the early 20's)
5. There is no correlation between penis size and shoe size, hand size, or nose size.
6. Blue balls does exist! It's technically called 'prostatic congestion.
7. Only 16% of men shave their privates

+SOME STUFF ON THE LADIES+

1. Only 9% of women around the globe consider themselves 'attractive' (20% of British women do). 43% of women use the term 'natural', 24% say They have 'average' looks, 8% prefer the term 'feminine', 7% say they are 'good looking', and 7% say they are 'cute', and finally only 2% of women say they are 'sexy'.
2. An estimated 85% of women wear the wrong size bra.
3. 60% of women have had breast implants.
4. 75% of women like giving/getting oral sex.
5. 95% of women shave their privates.

+5 REASONS WHY SEX IS GOOD+

1. It is a good workout. Sex burns about 150 calories every half an hour. It will lower your cholesterol and improve breathing circulation.
2. You won't get sick. According to research if you have sex 1-2 times a week you are less likely to get sick.You'll feel happier.
3. You will feel a greater sense of well-being. Women who have more sex were clinically proven to be less depressed than womenWho don't have sex.
4. Makes you look better; problem is that ugly people don't get any. Sex releases hormones which make your skin and hair softer and shinier and tone your physique.
5. (The best reason) You will live longer. Studies prove that sex makes you live longer. Men who had sex 1-2 times a week had half the death rate as those who did not indulge themselves at least once a month. It also makes you look younger. If you have sex 3 times a week you may look up to 10 years younger than you really are.

¿DID YOU KNOW?

1. Having sex 3 times a week for 1 year adds up to running 75 miles!!!!
2. Masturbation is healthy for both men and women.
3. 70% of high schoolers have had sex before they have graduated. 27% loose their virginity senior prom night. Only 3% wait until marriage.
4. 95% of men would have sex with a girl after 1 month of dating. Only 10% of women feel this way.
5. Teens are most likely to have sex for the first time in JUNE. First-time intercourse is often unplanned, meaning it's less likely teens will use contraception.
6. Virginity is often lost with a person they HAVEN'T been dating.

¡TALKING ASS!

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It is said that the path to a GAY man’s heart is best navigated through the back door. Hence the prevailing ASSUMPTION about GAY men is that they all enjoy anal sex. But many still consider this as foreign territory. For those curious about anal sex or interested in exploring it further, here are a few basic things to consider.

1. GROOMING – Some people are comfortable with a hairy entrance, but for those who are self-conscious about carrying a thicket down there, options exist for cleaning it up. Hirsute-free ass play adds pleasure if you and your partner are into munching on it. The less hair, the more the receiver feels his partner’s tongue on all those nerve endings, and for the giver, well who likes feeling like they are spitting up a hairball? For most men, waxing is not an option. Never mind the difficulty of getting into such a hard-to-reach area with a spatula of wax and gauze. Waxing removes a layer of healthy skin, and if you get too close to the edge of the anus, the results can be ugly and painful. And don’t even think about going near such a sensitive area with a harsh depilatory such as Nair. That leaves shaving, which requires a good deal of flexibility and being careful not to get any nicks or cuts. This is better done with a partner, and only if he is into it.
2. CLEANLINESS – Unless you are into scat, when it comes to anal sex, cleanliness really is key. If you are planning on having anal intercourse, a quick shower is recommended. Lightly insert your finger into the anus, giving the area a quick swirl. Go easy on the soap, as it can be irritating to the lining of the rectum. To douche or not to douche? Many guys feel it’s not needed if you have normal and regular bowel movements. Also, many guys think that an enema makes the ass more sore and sensitive before sex. For guys with a healthy digestive system who do not feel the immediate need to pass a bowel movement, a swirl in the shower should suffice. Some guys don’t feel confident without giving themselves an enema before a good session. If you are worried that the common drugstore enema is too harsh, discard the contents and fill up the container with warm tap water instead. Use lubricant! The lining of the rectum produces mucus naturally but not enough to provide comfort for intercourse. Remember these basics and you are ensured a happy pucker hole and a satisfying sex life.

REMEMBER...

1. PAINLESS ANAL: Stimulate the numerous nerve endings and the sphincter will relax for entry.
2. FEED IT: The rectum is not designed to store feces—and it won’t if you eat fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and unprocessed bran, which will keep the rectal muscles relaxed. Douche one hour prior with Fleet.
3. TOUCH IT: Whether yours or his try touching the anal opening during masturbation. It’s hot.
4. RIM IT: For maximum results, flatten your tongue and lick rather than penetrating the anus. Warm breath will stimulate him even more.
5. PENETRATE IT: It doesn’t have to hurt. After touching and rimming, the anus has relaxed, making painless entry possible.

HIM~U~ME

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I have been SINGLE for about 3 years and I have met NOT just someone, but the ONE that intend on my spending my life with. Now the thing about it is that I have always thought that relationships of this kind normally involves just two individuals; BOY WAS I WRONG! It would appear that from the moment that I told others about my budding relationship that I have been met with feelings of lament AND bewilderment. Being single for as long as I was, I thought that if there was ANYONE out there that was interested in me that they would have said so by now…and now you all over me like a pack of wolves. THE I LOVE YOU’S, SEXUAL COMMENTS & THE FLIRTING will NOT deter me from the man I am with. I know that the logical thing to do is to NOT allow you to become more important than you really are, but I just feel that this needs to written. The FANTASY relationship that you DREAM of have has NO foundation AND your reality is a MERE illusion. Hence I will NOT internalize my feelings in capitulation AND shrug you off with the simple CLICHÉ that you are a good person. You are HUMAN, YES! But accept the FACT that you AND I will NOT be what you feel we should! SO BE WARNED! The alarm has been rung AND if you trespass the integrity of my relationship, you will NOT warned via this medium. I AM NOT FAIR GAME & I DO NOT LOVE IN THE DARK! I GUESS BOYS WILL BE BOY…WHICH PRESENTS THE PROBLEM THAT WE GAY MEN ARE HAVING IN THIS COMMUNITY. FOR FAR TOO LONG WE HAVE BEEN LIVING OUR LIVES AS LITTLE BOYS THAT ARE JUST PLAYING & NOT LIVING. IT IS SAD THAT WE LIVE IN A CULTURE IN WHICH GAY COUPLES CANNOT ASSUME THAT THE BOUNDARIES OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP WILL BE RESPECTED or UNDERSTOOD. THIS SHOWS THAT WE DO NOT HAVE A COMMON ASSUMPTION ABOUT WHAT IT TRULY MEANS TO BE GAY. SO MANY OF US SIMPLY ASSUME THAT IT IS ALRIGHT TO HIT ON ANY GAY MAN, SINGLE or OTHERWISE. THIS UNFINISHED BUSINESS OF OWNING OUR SEXUALITY NEEDS TO BE TAKEN CARE IMMEDIATELY, FOR THIS IS THE ONLY WAY WE CAN RADICALLY RESPECT OURSELVES & THOSE OF US THAT ARE IN COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS.

HAPPY EARTH~DAY JAMIKO

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As you acknowledge this as your day of entry on this planet, I would like for you see this time of year; this season as the time for you to gestate. Your life as it is WILL bloom, but only AFTER you have ENDURED a period of cold. I know that LIFE is hard because you are HELD in the dark, but know that you are undergoing INTERNAL adjustments AND CHANGES invisible to the eye. Just like you were 24 years ago on this day, gestating in the lightless, watery wombs of your mother, you were fully engaged in the process of preparing to be born. Your life is a MYSTERY that is cloaked within a POWERFUL urge for growth enclosed in a small, dark space. Know that as you YEARN for the light that what you see will cause you to loose PATIENCE for, and interest in, the darkness that is keeping you. However this process is what you need right now, LIFE needs you to be still AND work on YOU! This phase of your growth has SO much control over your life, yet I am asking that you CELEBRATE it in the same vain as you do with the lighter AND brighter phase of your life. This will foster UNDISTRACTED energy that fosters PURE thoughts; the LAW OF ATTRACTION states that like attracts like AND influences ALL energy. When you BREATHE in the air of those that does NOT energetically lift you, it HURTS your soul. Hold POSITIVE thoughts in your mind keep them near you @ all times and do NOT focus on the things that are beyond you. @ THE CORE OF YOUR EXPERIENCE YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE OKAY, YOU MUST KNOW THAT I AM PULLING FOR YOU…YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOUR LIFE IS WAY TOO IMPORTANT…YOUR THOUGHTS & FEELINGS EXIST IN RELATION TO ONE ANOTHER, ALWAYS LISTEN & TRUST THEM. ON THIS DAY I WANT YOU TO MAKE A PROMISE TO YOURSELF THAT YOU WILL HAVE A POSITIVE OUTLOOK ON YOUR LIFE THAT WILL ENABLE YOU TO DANCE, MOVE & BREATHE YOURSELF INTO EXISTENCE.

208

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HE got poisoned by…

Words of love

Gave ALL of himself

And got 208 in return

Now HE is twisted like candy

With an unflavored desire

Now this poison is HIS obsession

As HE picks up the pieces of HIS soul

HIS bitter truth makes LIES taste better

For HIS poison

Comes from the root of HIS self love…

Rather the lack thereof

There is NO redemption

As HIS life drips N’ drops

If only HE could save himself

With some antidote of TRUTH

The older HE gets

More or less HE forgets

As HE gets closer

HE realizes that HE has been running

In the opposite direction of divinity

For 208 cannot destroy the light that shines within.

©tgk

CHANGE WHAT YOU WANT

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The best way to get what we want from life is to first know what we want. If we haven’t taken the time to really understand and identify what would truly make us happy, we won’t be able to ask for it from those around us or from the universe. We may not even be able to recognize it once it arrives. Once we are clear about what we want, we can communicate it to those around us. When we can be honest about who we are and what we want, there is no need to demand, be rude or aggressive, or manipulate others that are involved in helping us get what we want. Instead, we know that we are transmitting a signal on the right frequency to bring all that we desire into our experience. As the world evolves, humanity is learning to work from the heart. We may have been taught that the way to get what we want is to follow certain rules, play particular games, or even engage in acts that use less than our highest integrity. The only rules we need to apply are those of intention and connection. In terms of energy, we can see that it takes a lot of energy to keep up a false front or act in a way that is counter to our true nature, but much less energy is expended when we can just be and enjoy connections that energize us in return. Then our energy can be directed toward living the life we want right now. Society has certain expectations of behavior and the roles each of us should play, but as spiritual beings we are not bound by these superficial structures unless we choose to accept them. Instead, we can listen to our hearts and follow what we know to be true and meaningful for us. In doing so, we will find others who have chosen the same path. It can be easy to get caught up in following goals that appear to be what we want, but when we pursue the underlying value, we are certain to stay on our right path and continue to feed our soul.

"TWIST"

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I am all his but with a twist…

¿The whole package can HE see?

What HE sees is what HE gets

All HIS completely free

NO drama,

NO games

Today,

Tomorrow I'm always the same

Giving HIM nothing but LOVE!

I be HIS

The one for which I use the word WE

Living the mystery of each other

1st being the physical

Then the discovery

OUR LOVE is new yet old

For I have known him from the depths of my soul

No longer LOVING a man among the unborn

No more waiting to plant to dream

Memories reaching deep down brought to life

Living my future

From the bottom of what I am

Uncovering memory of when I began

Before I was what I will be

Now with HE…

I will forever be

HIS LOVE with a TWIST

©tgk

SEX MACHINES

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SEX is a minefield of explosive questions for us that lives in a society where most moral values have ceased to have meaning. The amount of TIME, MONEY and ENERGY spent chasing SEX, be it for the PHYSICALITY, the EGO gratification and the PURSUIT thereof has made us into SEX MACHINES. Now there is vast difference between men AND women when it comes to SEX. Men are more in pursuit, whereas women are controlled by it that much. However being a GAY man, I have a bird’s eye view of how MEN are all caught up in the act of SEX. The practice of human sexuality by GAY is extremely varied AND complex. Yes, GAY men engage in SEX in many different ways and for many different reasons. However, this way of having SEX is in my opinion is inherently BAD. I say this because OUR particular sexual practice ultimately ends up having more of a negative effect on the well-being of those involved. One would think that since we took it upon ourselves to shoulder the burden of H. I. V~A. I. D. S. that we GAY men would NOT engage in SEX in the way in which we do. It's as if WE do NOT have any control on HOW and WHOM we have SEX with and WE NO longer possess the FREEDOM to express OUR sexuality in ways that HONORS us as GAY men. WE are TRADING our values on the bases that SEX is the connecting factor between us, which is SO far from the truth. WE are essentially slaves AND breeders to an ENERGY that WE have created and the SAD fact is that nobody cares about the extent to which this HURTS the community as a whole. LIKE HETEROSEXUALITY, HOMOSEXUALITY HAS BEEN PRACTICED, VIEWED & SORT OF INSTITUTIONALIZED IN DIFFERENT WAYS. HOWEVER, FOR US I WISH THAT 99% OF THE SEXUAL ACTIVITY THAT IS TAKING PLACE IN THE COMMUNITY WERE RITUALIZED. IF ONLY WE WERE THINKING THAT, WE ARE SPIRITUALLY SPREADING ESSENCE OF MALENESS AMONG OURSELVES. I GET THAT ANY PARTICULAR SEXUAL PRACTICE REALLY NEEDS TO BE UNDERSTOOD IN THE CONTEX OF WHICH IT HAPPENS. HOWEVER, WE LIVE IN A TIME WHEN THERE IS NO REAL NEED FOR GROWN MEN TO ENGAGE IN SEX AS IF IT WILL NOT BE HERE TOMORROW. WE GAY MAN HAVE TO LOOK @ OUR SEXUALITY & TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT US & TURN OURSELVES AWAY FROM THE MECHANICAL WAY IN WHICH WE HAVE SEX.

LET'S TALK GENDER (JUST THOUGHT I'D SAY)

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While many people, whether HOMOSEXUAL, HETEROSEXUAL or BISEXUAL, aspire to intimate and sexual relations based on mutual love and emotional support I cannot help but wonder if GENDER plays a role in how AND who we LOVE. Both today, and throughout the whole process of life WE MEN and WOMEN will continue to challenge traditional views of GENDER ROLES, which reflect AND reinforce the oppression AND distorts the truth about who we are. The old traditional GENDER ROLES, which have existed for thousands of years, has been broken AND transformed. People will no longer have to put up with the ridiculous and unscientific notions that women who are aggressive, independent, and outspoken, or athletic are TOO MASCULINE; or that men who aspire to be creative, sensitive or nurturing are EFFEMINATE. These qualities in human beings should be appreciated and fostered between both sexes, and children growing up will not have to feel that they do not fit into gender definitions that are already archaic and objectively a hindrance to their development. WHAT ROLE DOES GENDER PLAY IN YOUR LIFE & HOW DOES IT AFFECT YOU?

¡WOMAN DON'T!

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...FUCK U & YOUR PUSSY!

WOMAN DON’T HATE ON ME,

CAUSE I DON’T WANT YOU

DON’T BLAME ME FOR LOVING OTHER MEN

FUCK YOUR CINDERLLA COMPLEX,

PRINCE CHARMING IS DEAD TO YOU!

WHY NOT HATE SLEEPING BEAUTY?

SHE SLEPT THROUGH EVERYTHING & GOT HER MAN!

HOW ABOUT YOU DRINK POISON LIKE SNOW WHITE?

MAYBE A MAN WILL BRING YOU TO LIFE….

THIS MAN DOES NOT WANT CARE FOR YOU

I DO NOT CARE FOR YOUR FAIRYTALE LIFE

SO FUCK YOUR HAPPY ENDING

YOU DON’T DESERVE ANY MAN!

YOU ARE SO TWISTED

BLASTING ME WITH YOUR MISERY

HATIN’ ON ME

CALLIN’ ME SISSY

FROM WHERE I STAND

BETTER BE A SISSY

THAN A MAN THAT WANTS TO LOVE YOU

YOU ARE THE FREAK OF NATURE

SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE IN A ZOO

YOU ARE SO JADED

GREEN WITH ENVY

I HOPE YOU LIVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE HATIN’

WHILE I AM LOVIN’ THE MAN YOU WISH YOU HAD

YOU ARE THAT LONE SOLDIER

ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE WAR

DROPPING BOMBS ON YOURSELF

THINKING YOU CAN CHANGE ME

NEVER WILL I MARRY YOUR SORRY ASS…

GIVE YOU MY PRECIOUS GENES

IF ONLY I FELT SORRY FOR YOU

I WOULDN’T STAMP OUT YOUR HEART N’ SOUL

YOU BE THAT CHURCH SLAVE

GIVING PASTOR ALL THE PRAISE

SO FUCKIN’ PATHETIC!

NO DREAMS

NO ASPIRATIONS

NO MAN TO SHARE YOUR LIFE

NO PEFECT FAIRYTALE

JUST A SAD LITTLE GIRL

JUST SAVE YOUR DREAD

NO MATTER WHAT

YOU DO

YOU SAY

YOU PRAY

I WILL BE LOVING MEN INSTEAD…

WOMAN DON’T!

©tgk

¿WHAT IS YOUR GOD CONNECTION?

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I find that the CONNECTION that we have with GOD has been, and continues to be, the focus of COUNTLESS DEBATES, ARTICLES, and TELEVISION SHOWS and so on. There is without a doubt just as many opinions on what is wrong with OUR relationship with GOD as there are individuals with solutions to the problems. However, what are the inherent external factors that foster OUR disconnection from GOD? Though nothing is ever as simple as it seems, yet if WE focus on OUR overall complexity of life, WE can find some solutions that can make life easier.

For many of us dealing with RELIGION is very difficult to say the least. For HETEROSEXUALS it is easier to deny the pain than to acknowledge the suffering that HOMOSEXUALS endure in this world. Because of this, there are lingering anxieties in the hearts and minds of GAY men and women that PREVENTS us from having any sort of relationship with OUR ‘creator.’ If only WE allow the painful indignities that we suffer draw us closer to GOD; instead it does the opposite.

The reality is that in spite of the EDUCATIONAL, ECONOMIC and SOCIAL GAINS that we have made, SOCIETY still operates as an oppressive system that has been, and continues to be, responsible for keeping a large number of us TRAPPED in a place that forces us to believe that GOD does NOT care for us. It is my FIRM belief that there is a DIRECT correlation between our ability and inability to problem solve and our common experience of being GAY. In other words the oppressed is not entirely responsible for his OR her oppression. Nonetheless, I feel that WE need to take ourselves out of a certain mind frame AND take our rightful place in this world.

To each HIS/HER own, but I am of the opinion that GOD IS NOT SOME OMNIPOTENT FIGURE IN THE SKY THAT IS KEEPING SCORE & IS FORCING US TO ACHIEVE SALVATION THROUGH FEAR & TREMBLING. DO YOU THINK GOD REALLY WANTS US TO LIVE IN WORLD THAT HAS THE PROBLEMS THAT IT HAS? I SAY NO! We sit AND think that WE are sinners and GOD does NOT want anything to do with us, this is SO far from the truth. Why do WE hinder OUR relationship with GOD because of who we are? I find it heart breaking that we feel separate AND apart from OUR creator because of OUR inability to LOVE ourselves. I feel that LOGIC destroys what WE ought to believe, there is NO LOGIC when it comes to LIFE and the how it is lived. It amazes me that WE say WE believe in GOD, yet have such a HARD time with him.

ON SABBATICAL...

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So the real reason I haven't been hanging with my friends is that they have been pretty frustrating lately. I am cycled between them AND their problems and things are not all good. I DID NOT WANT TO HEAR HOW LIFE IS SO THIS N’ THAT, SO I HAVE DECIDED THAT I DID NOT WANT TO BE APART OF THEIR FATALISTIC VIEW ON LIFE. YES I know that LIFE is HARD! YES I know that things are NOT all they are cracked up to be! YES I know that LOVE is something that does NOT come easy! However, those things are NO excuse for them to live as if LIFE is punishing them. Nevertheless, I am in the process of tearing down to rebuild…just rethinking my position in the life of my friends…Every Saturday my friends and I spend the day together. However, for the past 3 weeks I have decided NOT to hang with my friends; I guess one can say I am taking a SABBATICAL. I am merely taking SMALL steps to the BIG change that is coming for me. I just need to get away; I need some time for me. I want to be the one that does NOT care; I want to be the one that is the central focus. In this vain I can allow myself to grow into a new habit AND make it a permanent part of my life. Life has placed me on a path that focuses on me AND my happiness, no longer will I place my wants AND needs on the back burner. My inner voice has been telling for a while now that I ought to be better to myself, so I have taken heed. This is for my alignment with the rhythm of the universe.

HAPPY EARTH~DAY MOTHER

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As a boy growing up, I can remember the day that I asked my mother her and she told that she was 28. @ That moment I thought to myself that when she is 30 I will be 10, 40 I will 20 AND 50 I will be 30. Now the STRANGEST thing about that day is that I saw my mom as an adult, someone that is so GROWN up AND has it all together…FUNNY how I got to be that and I did NOT feel OR thought of myself as I saw her. My mother turning 50 made me realize how time really flies AND how @ that age I never gave any thought as to what kind of man I would be OR where I would be in my life. Nonetheless, the time is here AND I am HAPPY with where I am; I am HAPPY with who I am AND NO one on this earth can get in the way of that. I remember telling my mother about my sexuality, it was VERY difficult AND terrifying but I did it nonetheless. From that day until now our relationship has NOT changed, she is still the ONLY woman in my life L(O)L! AND I would NOT have it any other way. My mother proved to me that she is STRONG and UNSTOPPABLE…she made it this far without half of the things that are @ my fingertips. I know that she sacrifice herself for both my sister AND I, for that I will be ETERNALLY grateful. As a child growing up and going to school and having to write stories about my hero it was always my mother that was the subject. ON THIS DAY I WANT TO SAY HAPPY EARTH DAY TO A WOMAN THAT IS MY MOTHER & FATHER…I WANT TO THANK HER FOR BEING THE VESSEL THAT BROUGHT ME HERE…I WANT TO SAY THAT I WOULD NOT CHANGE HER FOR ANOTHER…I WANT HER TO ENJOY THIS HER DAY & I HOPE SHE GETS 50 MORE YEARS ON THIS EARTH TO BE MY MOTHER…

14 DAYS OF LUV: DAY 14 - FOREVER (LUV IS)

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I LOVE Valentine's Day. I LOVE the notion of a day committed to all things LOVE. Yes, I know every day ought to be filled with love and it is, but February 14th, well, that is the CAPSTONE FOR ALL THINGS LOVE! I am a hopeless romantic. I own it. I am shameless in my faith in love and happiness. I have seen too much, experienced too much and have decided that love and happiness suits me. I am not some silly empty headed school boy. I am standing in the Grown man Space with my heart on my sleeve. I do not want to be cautious and afraid of love. I do not want to be shy or guarded. I want to be falling down drunk with LOVE. I have known what its like to be without love and I can't go back to that...EVER! NO LONGER DO I BELIEVE THAT THE IDEA OF LOVE IS MEANT TO BE MY VALENTINE, & I WILL END THE DAY AS I BEGAN IT…IN LOVE. His happiness is VERY important to me and HIS LOVE is one that I will hold with me FOREVER. HE IS THE BALANCE OF WHOLNESS THAT FIND WITHIN ME…THE GETTING WITHOUT GIVING. I AM HIS IMPERFECT BEING, LOVE MAKES ME KNOW THAT IF I WERE PERFECT, I WOULD NOT NEED HIM…I WOULD BE PERFECT UNTO MYSELF. LOVE DOES NOT LIVE IN POLARITY, LOVE KNOWS PERFECTION & WE DO NOT. LOVE IS GIVING & NOT LIMITING, IT ENCOURAGES FREEDOM & INDIVIDUALITY WHILE SHARING & GIVING OF ITSELF. I BELIEVE THAT LOVE MIRRORS OUR OUTER & INNER WORLD…OUR MOST INTIMATE REFLECTIONS ARE ON DISPLAY THAT CAN ONLY ENHANCE & MATURE US…AMIDST THE YAWNABLE & LAUGHABLE EVENTS THAT IS MY LIFE, I HAVE FOUND THAT LOVE IS FOREVER…

14 DAYS OF LUV: DAY 13 - LIFE (LUV IS)

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WE WERE BORN WITH LOVE. Yet some of us say AND live as if LOVE is just a four-letter word. We live in a culture that does NOT seem to know that LOVE IS LIFE! Hence as a result, many of us find ourselves laboring under this negative notion. It is VITALLY important that WE remember that almost nothing in this world is all good OR all bad, and most everything is a complex mixture of gifts AND challenges. Hence whatever difficulty one has with LOVE needs to be cleared up for he will have a life that is pretty much dead. So truth be know; I believe that the ability to spend time alone is one that most important thing LOVE can give us. It is because of LOVE that one can feel safe AND secure in himself and NOT worry about LOVE for he knows that LOVE will keep him. For seeing the POSITIVE side of LOVE can lead us deeper into our gifted visions AND fertile imaginations. Though @ times, life seem like it is filled with a DESPAIR that is waiting for LOVE, though it should be the opposite because LOVE is simply waiting for LIFE. However, one needs to remember that when looking @ LOVE, one should focus on what's right instead of obsessing over a short list of what might be better. Too many times we compromise our values AND who we only to find that we did NOT dig beyond the surface of what LOVE is really about. It is a very strong word, and a very powerful feeling when LOVE really finds you, just make sure you are really ready for it. LOVE by all accounts is a mystery in same vain as the LIFE we lead…NO WONDER THEY ARE ATTACHED TO EACH OTHER! No matter what is said about LOVE, NO one can really explain it. Everyone have his/her own opinion…BUT THE ONE UNDENIABLE FACT IS THAT LOVE IS THE ONE DRIVING FORCE IN THIS WORLD & WE ALL WANT TO HAVE A LIFE FULL OF IT…

14 DAYS OF LUV: DAY 12 - REAL (LUV IS)

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In the course of my live, I've increasingly been met by MEN with relationship problems. These MEN had lives that were disrupted by various issues regarding the ones they love, have loved or regarding the search for love. Some, maybe most, of them chuck up their problems with LOVE to many things that are NOT necessarily the truth. I find we sell ourselves short AND let LOVE evade us. This behavior is VERY wasteful energetically; but I get why it must be…Nonetheless, I feel that NO matter what our situation may be, NO one can deny that LOVE is REAL. We can try with ALL of might NOT to associate ourselves with it; yet it still finds us. Nonetheless, it seems as if WE GAY MEN attract MEN that are NOT good OR worthy of us, yet we do not see anything wrong with that. This sparks the question of asking if WE ARE LOOKING FOR THAT IMPERFECT SOMEONE TO SHARE YOUR LIFE WITH or ARE YOU JUST GOING ALONG WITH LIFE PRAYING FOR THAT PERFECT MAN? I find that finding that elusive ideal mate doesn't come that easily for most of us because we haven't learned the importance of being very clear in our thoughts what type of person would truly make us happy. Hence living the notion that LOVE is NOT REAL! We as a community project such a MURKY IMAGE of our desires that it is NEARLY impossible for the universe to deliver our IMPERFECT package. Though I cannot fully blame GAY MEN for the way they view LOVE, I have to say that as ADULTS they owe it to themselves that they live base on LOVE. This unclear notion that is in our minds about LOVE just leaves us in a fog that will NOT clear until we get ourselves where we ought to be. Now I am NOT disregarding the fact that some if NOT all of us need to be in this place because if we view LOVE in such a manner then we need NOT to have it. SO BEFORE YOU FIND OUT HOW REAL LOVE IS, EVALUATE YOURSELF. Find where you are in life @ the moment. Ask how did you get there? Are you happy OR sad? EVALUATE PAST RELATIONSHIPS. Ask what aspects in those individuals made you happiest? What aspects were not so great? Are you ready for a new relationship and all that it involves? MAKE SURE YOU ARE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR NEEDS. Explore your personal reasons for wanting to manifest a mate. Are you lonely? Are you in need of emotional support? RELEASE YOUR REQUEST TO THE UNIVERSE. Trust that everything will work out perfectly.

14 DAYS OF LUV: DAY 11 - ENDURANCE (LUV IS)

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In relationships today, we tend to attract a pattern of people. These individuals are a combination of the best and worst qualities within us and the power place that is born from thees qualities merely set the stage for how durable a relationship is. In finding ones ENDURANCE within a relationship we ultimately have to FACE the demons AND angels that settle us into a HARMONIOUS partnership. I have found that the bases of ENDURANCE lie in LOVE. LOVE is GREAT, though better when one has it for the long haul; it however calls for stamina, work AND attention. I am NOT say OR thinking that LOVE should be an easy street, but I would like to say that I wonder why it is the way it is? I am a FIRM believer that LOVE is worth fighting for; I would NOT have it any other way. It is jus that this ENDURANCE that LOVE requires kill a lot of relationships because most if NOT all of us simply can’t be bothered. Now the relationship that I am currently in is one that I would WANT for the rest of my life, however if I plan on being here for a long time then I have work ahead of me. There are times when HE and I find ourselves in an argument, I feel as if we are losing control of emotions and the LOVE that we have for each other takes on a life of its own. It is @ this moment when we have to take a deep breath and take a step back from the situation. Because for us LOVE means that we can AGREE to DISAGREE and looking honestly @ what caused us to argue in the first place is more important. Hence ENDURANCE is needed to feed LOVE because it can help us be clear about our feelings AND intentions AND communicate them clearly.

14 DAYS OF LUV: DAY 10 - HEARING (LUV IS)

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If one were to lay ever SO still N’ quiet, one would be able to HEAR the LOVE that is surrounding them. One would be able to HEAR each cell pumping the HEART of the one he LOVES…making him the reason why LOVE exists. Being able to HEAR the sound of LOVE is a beauty unto itself. There is NO time to think about what might OR might come next, because you would be able to pay attention to the richness of what is now. This miracle of LOVE is the MOST important of ALL the senses because it GIVES us so much more than we realize. In the big picture and in the smallest of details, HEARING LOVE when it is near brings the sense of peace AND happiness that we desire. This sense of peace in letting things be allows us to become ONE with LOVE. Thus enhancing the RICHNESS of OUR being. Think of how truly fortunate you are to have this ability, LIVE THAT GOOD FORTUNE WITH ALL THAT YOU ARE & LOVE WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR GUIDE.

14 DAYS OF LUV: DAY 9 - SEEING (LUV IS)

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When I think about LOVE, I envision the face of the ONE that is LOVE and how I am afforded the opportunity of SEEING LOVE through his eyes. I SEE this in the same vain as The Matrix Reloaded, which has the theme that we are living the answers to the questions that burn within. Hence I SEE LOVE as something that is PRECIOUS and POWERFUL. SEEING LOVE with my eyes only served me when I loved, now @ this stage in my life I am in the business of LOVING. As life teaches me, A LOVE THAT I CAN SEE IS WORTHY OF ME which ultimately brings out the best in me. SEEING the LOVE that is HE shows me that I believe in what I already knew about LOVE…I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I AM ALIVE TO SEE LOVE WITH MY HEART!

14 DAYS OF LUV: DAY 8 - SMELLING (LUV IS)

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There is NOTHING like the SCENT of LOVE and it NEVER more POWERFUL or PRESENT than when one is in LOVE. Now I have had the opportunity to experience how LOVE can leave the SCENT of HE on me and I LOVE IT! Some may find it weird OR gross that I LOVE to smell the SCENT of my MAN’S ass on my lips LOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG after I have pleasured him. It GETS me going like NOTHING in this world. I LOVE how he smells when I get all up in his mix AND create LOVE with him. The smell of HIM is UNDENIABLE and it is as if I am his pawn that is totally (HAPPILY) helpless. His SCENT is LIBERATING and it gives me a sense of WORTHINESS that compliments MY sexuality.

14 DAYS OF LUV: DAY 7 - TASTING (LUV IS)

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I think that LOVE has a TASTE all it has own that is either sweet OR sour. I believe that this sweet N’ sour flavor is deeply connected to how we view AND receive LOVE. HOW COULD IT NOT? When one is in love it is VERY sweet; the heart is VERY happy, the soul dances AND all is right with the world. However, when LOVE turns sour it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth; the heart HURTS, the soul DIES AND the world is NOT a great place to be. Nonetheless, I am in AWE of how the TASTE of LOVE influences our lives and how much power it has over us. It is SO evident how LOVE leaves a collective tang in our mouths that are either sweet OR sour. The sweet TASTE of LOVE makes US feel GREAT, our faces widen with smiles AND our hearts skip more than a beat. There is an INTENSE focus on what we are getting, diminishing the thought of loneliness AND isolation. With the sweet TASTE of LOVE, our lives are devoted to simply being in this place AND there is a sense of liberation that comes from letting ourselves go. This feeling is unlike any other, this is why it is SO hard when one has to deal with LOVE turning itself inside out. This then presents an individual who is now struggling from place of hurt AND pain. This weakness makes it hard to rise above a LOVE that is no longer there. The sound of silence as time seems to stand still is the focus point. It is as if we have slipped into a dreamscape of anguish that show cases the joy of a LOVE that once was there. This bitter TASTE of LOVE just makes us feel as if we want to die…NO MATTER WHAT LOVE DOES FOR US, NO MATTER WHAT TASTE WE ARE TO SAVOR…BE THE SWEET TASTE OF LOVE GONE RIGHT or THE CHOKING OF A LOVE GONE SOUTH, ONE MUST REMEMBER TRYING TO MAINTAIN A BALANCE OF BOTH WILL LEAVE US FEELING BETTER ABOUT THE ONE THING THAT TAKES SO MUCH FROM US…

14 DAYS OF LUV: DAY 6 - TOUCHING (LUV IS)

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As far as erotic pleasure is concerned, touch is one the most important of the senses. It is one of life's great paradoxes that the things we cannot see when making LOVE are the very things that are known because of a touch. The feelings that comes from a touch makes us want to treasure the energy AND inspiration that it gives us. This touch is a SAFE way to begin exploring the murky territory of the SEXUAL unconscious. The coolness of the touch can give us the reassurance AND comfort that we seek during intimate moments. A simple TOUCH can bring the parts of ourselves that we don't want to look at, the emotions that need to be felt. Unfelt emotions are stuck energy, and when we leave emotions unprocessed, we deprive ourselves of access to that energy. When we feel strong enough, we can begin the process of feeling those emotions, on our own or with guidance from a TOUCH. It is for this purpose that the buried treasure of energy and inspiration will pour from our hearts, giving us the courage to look at all the parts of ourselves with insight and compassion…

14 DAYS OF LUV: DAY 5 - YOU (LUV IS)

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I find that when we give ourselves time to reflect and heal it can be a powerful way to process the things that are happening in our lives, and one of the best approaches to do this is by simply LOVING ourselves. LOVING ourselves means that we are intent on healing AND learning more about OUR spirit; it is @ this times when our lives are filled with what seems to be constant change AND growth, that we need to LOVE ourselves. However, it is difficult to LOVE oneself especially when we are caught up in the whirlwind of our lives. Since everyone sees and experiences the world differently, it is VERY important to for us to complete such an exercise. LOVING oneself is an intense period of time where serious soul searching takes place. This allows us to look deep AND find the necessary tools to stir the pot of OUR soul. Thus giving US the energy to create space for a more positive, loving, AND accepting view of our lives. By LOVING ourselves, we pave the way for great healing AND transformation in our lives. The more we are able to treat our bodies with LOVE, the more tenderness AND compassion we will call forth into our lives. So LOVE YOU! Learn to understand AND pay attention to what our self needs…IT IS THROUGH SUCH AN EXERCISE CAN ONE GIVE N’ RECEIVE LOVE!

14 DAYS OF LUV: DAY 4 - UNDENIABLE (LUV IS)

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As a young and up in coming diva sings so powerfully that LOVE is UNDENIABLE, she really hits home hard with her lyrics. Hence the words of this song…

No matter what you say about love,

I keep coming back for more,

Keep my hand in the fire,

Sooner or later I get what I'm asking for

No matter what you say about life,

I learn every time I bleed

The truth is a stranger soul is in danger

I gotta let my spirit be free to…

Admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind

Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind

HOW COULD IT NOT? We ALL know that LOVE is UNDENIABLE and its power is something that WE cannot escape, no matter how hard WE try. I find it very interesting how we view LOVE and those that WE give it to, it is amazing how sometimes WE wish that after a relationship goes sour that WE could have denied the power of LOVE. I think the fact that LOVE is UNDENIABLE proves that WE as humans are in a continuous state of growth AND elevation. WE LOVE in this world only to learn that @ least one person is going break our hearts, never thinking that HE was NOT meant for US…yet still WE swear of LOVE and think that it will never come our way again. How crazy AND foolish of us to do something like this. Yet it makes PERFECT sense because this only means that WE will LOVE harder AND NOT accept anything else other than LOVE. SO I SAY DO NOT DENY THE UNDENIABLE, LOVE IS A WONDERFUL THING. YES, IT WILL MAKE US BLAME A NEW LOVE FOR THE THINGS AN OLD ONE DID. YES, IT WILL MAKE US CRY BECAUSE WE MAY FEEL THAT TIME IS NOT ON SIDE. NEVERTHELESS, LOVE ANYWAY; IT IS TOO IMPORTANT & UNDENIABLE FOR US NOT TO DO SO.

14 DAYS OF LUV: DAY 3 - KISSING (LUV IS)

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It has been said that LOVE HAS CODES and that its main method of expression is KISSING… Kissing is a complex behavior that requires significant muscular coordination; in fact, a total of thirty-four muscles working cooperatively. The most important muscle involved is the orbicularis oris muscle, which is used to pucker the lips and informally known as the kissing muscle. So can you tell me WHAT LANGUAGE YOU ARE SPEAKING WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE? So here are list of body parts that we KISS and what mean when we do…

1. KISS ON THE LIPS MEANS I LOVE YOU
2. KISS ON THE NOSE MEANS I THINK YOU ENDEARING
3. KISS ON THE EYE MEANS I SEE YOUR LOVE FOR ME
4. KISS ON THE FOREHEAD MEANS I LOVE WHAT YOU ARE THINKING
5. KISS ON THE EAR MEANS I AM HORNY
6. KISS ON THE NECK MEANS LET’S GET ROMANTIC
7. KISS ON THE SHOULDER MEANS I WANT YOU
8. KISS ON THE CHEST MEANS I LOVE HOW YOUR HEART BEATS FOR ME
9. KISS ON NIPPLE MEANS LET’S GET IT ON
10. KISS ON THE ARM MEANS TELL ME YOU LOVE ME
11. KISS ON THE ELBOW MEANS I LOVE HOW I TAKE YOUR BREATHE AWAY
12. KISS ON THE HAND MEANS I ADORE YOU
13. KISS ON THE FINGER MEANS YOU SWEET LET GO
14. KISS ON THE NAVEL MEANS I LOVE YOUR OLDEST WOUND
15. KISS ON THE WAIST MEANS I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO
16. KISS ON THE PENIS MEANS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU
17. KISS ON THE TESTICLES MEANS I LOVE YOUR MANLY SCENT
18. KISS ON THE THIGH MEANS DON’T LET GO
19. KISS ON THE KNEES MEANS WE CAN LEARN A LOT FROM EACH OTHER
20. KISS ON THE TOES MEANS I LOVE TO MAKE YOU TINGLE
21. KISS ON THE BOTTOM OF FEET MEANS YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE
22. KISS ON THE BACK OF THIGH MEANS ECSTASY IS CLOSE @ HAND
23. KISS ON THE ASS MEANS I AM YOURS FOREVER
24. KISS ON THE BACK MEANS I CAN SENSE YOUR MALE ENERGY
25. KISS ON THE BACK OF NECK MEANS YOU LOVE HOW I FEEL ON YOU

14 DAYS OF LUV: DAY 2 - SEXY (LUV IS)

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I have this crazy notion that LOVE could be SEXY! But what is SEXY?

1. Is the way one welcomes HIS partner home?
2. Is it the way HE is looking @ him with those sultry eyes?
3. Is it the way HE dares him never to leave him alone?
4. Is it the way HE sets his soul on fire?
5. Is it HIS personality that is so unique?
6. Is it that HE is not afraid to let it all out and let the world know what he is about?
7. Is the fact that HE is cool, calm AND collected?
8. Is it because HE is ferocious yet refined?
9. Is it HIS smile?
10. Is it the color of HIS skin that is so rich AND beautiful?
11. Is it the way HE loves?
12. Is it my perception of HE?...OR
13. Is it simply HE?

14 DAYS OF LUV: DAY 1 - FLAWLESS (LUV IS)

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To convey my feelings on such an important subject, I have decided to channel the immortal Alanis Morissette, in her song PERFECT.

'Sometimes' is never quite enough

If you're flawless, then you'll win my love

Don't forget to win first place

Don't forget to keep that smile on your face

I'll live through you

I'll make you what I never was

If you're the best, then maybe so am I

Compared to him, compared to her

I'm doing this for your own damn good

You'll make up for what I blew

What's the problem…why are you crying?

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect

I am of the opinion that LOVE is FLAWLESS. HOW COULD IT NOT BE? We live our lives going day to day without ever really truly feeling LOVE and then blaming it for OUR misfortunes. We need to realize that ETERNAL LOVE = FLAWLESSNESS. So I ask WHAT ARE YOU STRIVING FOR? HOW MANY TIMES WILL YOU SUFFER DISILLUSION OF A LOVE THAT IS FLAWLESS? A FLAWLESS LOVE is the idol OF idols AND the dream OF dreams. When LOVE is FLAWLESS it can be the seam that sews us together. I find that this LOVE in this manner is the wonder OF wonders that takes us over AND under…Making us question WHAT DID WE LEARN? WHY DO WE FEEL SHAME? Only to confirm that there is NO triumph over a LOVE that is FLAWLESS…