¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Friday, 30 April 2010


If I am your baby, please touch me.
I need your touch in ways you may never know.
Don’t just wash and change and feed me,
Rock me close, kiss my face and stroke my body.
Your soothing, gentle touch says security and love. 

If I am your teenager, please touch me.
Don’t think because I’m almost grown,
I don’t need to know that you still care.
I need your loving arms, I need a tender voice.
When the road gets rocky, then the child in me still needs.

If I am your friend, please touch me.
Nothing lets me know you care like a warm embrace.
A healing touch when I’m depressed assures me I am loved
And reassures me that I am not alone.
Yours may be the only comforting touch I get.

If I am your life's partner, please touch me.
You may think that your passion is enough,
But only your arms hold back my fears.
I need your tender reassuring touch to remind me I am loved just because I am me.

If I am your grown-up child, please touch me.
Though I may have a family of my own to hold,
I still need Mummy’s and Daddy’s arms when I hurt.
As a parent the view is different, I appreciate you more.

If I am your aging parent, please touch me
The way I was touched when I was very young.
Hold my hands, sit close to me, give me strength,
And warm my tired body with your nearness.
Although my skin is worn wrinkled, it loves to be stroked.

Thursday, 29 April 2010


We get so used to lusting after one another because of penis size, ripples on stomachs and the curve of a bubble butt, that we lose sight of all the other equally beautifully persons that don’t fit into that mold. I ALWAYS remember something Judge Judy says on her show and it goes like this, ‘beauty fades, but dumb is forever.’ I ALWAYS tell folks if they think of beauty as something that attracts another, they’ll see that it is the mind that intrigues another and the soul that KEEPS you wanting more. WHAT IS BEAUTY TO YOU?

Wednesday, 28 April 2010


This month on IN THE LIFE they talk to hate crime victims and perpetrators about The Nature of Hate. Followed by a visit with artist Alix Smith, who is traveling the country photographing hundreds of same-sex couples, challenging stereotypes and taking conventional portraiture to a new level.

As has been the case for many social and political minorities in our country, the LGBT community confronts a media landscape effective in spreading misinformation about it. The most radical voices claim that gay and lesbian people are a threat to children, our country, even our way of life. But what many don't realize is that these messages, crafted by a well-resourced media machine, not only inspire bias, but intense hate against LGBT people-hate often leading to violence. In our lead segment, we look at hate-speech and whether, in a nation lacking legal protections for LGBT people, it incites violence against the LGBT community.

Tuesday, 27 April 2010


Last night, you watched RuPaul crown the controversial 21-year-old Orlando native Tyra Sanchez (né James Ross) as America’s Next Drag Superstar on the season finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race. I must say that I wasn't a Tyra fan, but after watching the Reunited Special I must say that he did earned the title...so CONGRATS!

Monday, 26 April 2010


The following article is taken from the local Bahamian site called Bahamas Press. I posted this because I wanted to share the way the ignorant society in the Bahamas see gay men and women. We are NOT people that living and co-existing with each other, we nothing other than SISSIES! I mean a young lady lost her life and that was TOTALLY overlooked and the story was sensationalized to get attention. I know it got mine and this type of journalism isn't anything new, but I had to post this nonetheless...

Nassau, Bahamas — A sissy women brawl last night had turned deadly and now police are investigating an apparent vehicular homicide, which we classify as murder #114 since 2009.

BP has learned that sometime around 4:20 a.m. into the wee hours of this morning, police were called to Gladstone Road in the area of a known sissy joint called, the ‘Garage Night Club’ where they were told a major fight to the death had erupted.  Police were told the fight concluded when a vehicle, which was driven by another sissy woman who fled the scene of the rock and bottle session, as she struck the female.

Our deep throat on the RBPF said, “We have located a blue 2008 Toyota Corolla, which is believed to be the vehicle involved in this incident. And is now questioning at least one person believed to be the owner of the car. What a sad and terrible way to die BP.”

Investigators who responded also said the scene was bloody as the young girl’s lifeless body was clad in blue short pants; white T-Shirt and a green shirt. She had just exited the place with her new lover about to engage in session fun and frolic, eyewitnesses said.

We are told the male sissies were too afraid to join the fight and protect the deceased woman. We are also told many of them were too busy snatched up with their own partners despite the serious situation at hand.

My goodness, what wutlessness! They have no shame.

Sunday, 25 April 2010


So every week I write something about religion and how it hurts us human beings and EVERY week I get asked, ‘aren’t you tired of bashing religion?’ Well you know the answer to that question right? How can I NOT rail against the ‘well’ oiled machine that’s religion? They’ve become EXCESSIVELY critical towards others, they’ve been going in the wrong direction for eons and are VERY good @ pointing out faults in EVERYTHING that they deem is NOT of their ‘god.’

There is good and bad in every group, but have any of you ever noticed a single time the church has SERIOUSLY spoken publicly about crimes against us, or tried to understand who we are, simply because we don’t live the lives their ‘god’ wants us to live? HELL NO! And in my humble opinion, they are the BIGGEST factor working against gay men AND women as an ‘identified’ group. We’ve been vilified, called all sorts of things that are demeaning and hurtful, so how can I/we just NOT say anything against that? I know that religion won’t ever let up and that’s the unfortunately reality, so as public enemy NO.1, we MUST take responsibility for OUR spirituality by being HONEST enough to chastise the negativity that is religion and ACCEPT who we are as men and women WITH EQUAL FUROR! Who knows you better than you?

For TOO long the mind and spirit of gay folks has been weakened and broken and the internal struggle to become ourselves without succumbing to religious pressure is near IMPOSSIBLE! Religion has made us blind deaf AND dumb followers and we have ONLY ourselves to blame. A man standing on an altar deemed ‘holy’ need NOT be our judge N’ jury, he did NOT create us so he CANNOT tell us how his ‘god’ feels we should exist on this planet. So my weekly rants are all about developing an anti-venom for the poison we have been fed AND regaining our former glory. WE MUST FIGHT THIS INFECTED WOUND THAT HAS BEEN INFLICTED UPON US & EVENTUALLY WE WILL BREAK THE FORCES OF RELIGIOUS OPPRESSION THAT IS US KEEPING DOWN!

Saturday, 24 April 2010


"In the End" is a song by American rock band Linkin Park. The song was released as the fourth single from their debut album Hybrid Theory. The song's concept is mainly based on one person's failure. It is considered symbolic of an ending relationship, however, it can also represent broken trust in a once long-lasting friendship.

"In the End" is Linkin Park's most well known and successful song, appearing in the top ten in most charts it appeared in, reaching as high as #2 on the Billboard Hot 100. It also reached number one on the Z100 Top 100 songs of 2002 countdown. This song also ranked at #121 in Blender magazine's The 500 Greatest Songs Since You Were Born.[1] The song is Billboard's 2nd most played rock song of the decade.

Critical reception: "In the End" was generally very well received by contemporary rock music critics. Canoe.ca's Mike Ross referred to the song by stating: "It's too bad, really. In the vast tar pits of the rap-metal genre, a few good bands emerge - yet still may be branded as "just another rap metal band"."[2]

Stephanie Dickison, in a review for PopMatters, characterized the song as "Barrington's strong notes are as good as any seasoned rockstar during: 'I tried so hard / And got so far / But in the end / It doesn't even matter / I had to fall / TO lose it all / But in the end / It doesn't even matter'."[3] (Although she said "Barrington" she was actually referring to Chester Bennington. She also made another mistake in the review, stating that, like Fred Durst, Chester had an excellent rhythmic rapping ability, when it is actually Mike Shinoda who raps).

Music video: The music video for "In the End" was shot at various stops along the 2001 Ozzfest tour and was directed by Nathan "Karma" Cox and the band's DJ Joe Hahn, who would go on to direct many of Linkin Park's future videos (the two also directed the music video for "Papercut").[5][6] Although the background for the "In the End" video was filmed in a California desert, the band itself performed on a studio stage in Los Angeles, with prominent CGI effects and compositing being used to create the finished version. Performing on a studio stage allowed Hahn and Cox to set off water pipes above the stage near the end and drench the band.[6]

The music video takes place in a fantasy setting and uses massive CGI animation. The band performs atop a giant statue, which has a 'winged soldier' on top of it, which is similar looking to the 'winged soldier' on the cover artwork of Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory album.

The portions where Mike Shinoda raps first take place in a wasteland with thorny vines sprouting out of the ground, surrounding him and shattering into dust (first verse) and then grass and plants sprouting up around him (second verse). During the time Mike raps his verses, Chester stands atop a platform with gargoyles on the edges. This platform is in front of a door in the shape of a trapezoid. Near the end of the video, the skies turn dark and it begins to rain, and the band performs in the downpour until the end of the song, where the rain stops and the camera pans away from the tower, showing the wasteland where Shinoda had rapped in is now a lush Greenland. During the rain the statues on the tower begin to move.

The video was co-directed by Nathan "Karma" Cox and LP's turntablist Joe Hahn (who have also directed the videos for "Pts.Of.Athrty", "Papercut", "What I've Done", "Bleed It Out", "Shadow of the Day", and "Leave Out All the Rest)".[5] The production design was by Patrick Tatopoulos who helped design and oversee the production of the non-CGI set. It won the "Best Rock Video" at the 2002 MTV Awards.[7]

A strange-looking whale can be seen flying around the large statue during most of the video, specifically at the end of the video. The whale in the video was Joe Hahn's idea. He has been quoted as saying, "It's not like I pulled it out of my ass; it made sense to me." The reasoning behind its inclusion is still unknown. The whale could be identified as a "space whale" which takes the concept that life (or time) is too short for one to absorb all its mass surroundings.

Many fans of the Legend of Zelda video game series have noted similarities between the whale in the video and the 'Wind Fish' character from The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening. However, there is no evidence to support the design of Linkin Park's whale was a tribute to the game, and appears to be coincidental.

Although there is a keyboard loop in this song, the video does not show Mike, who is a pianist in the group, or anyone else playing a keyboard in any scene of the video. However, Joe Hahn is shown using a MIDI pad to emulate the piano loop at the end.

When I listen to the lyrics of this song the word ‘failure’ comes to mind. Few things in the universe are black and white, yet much of our language reads as if they are. This song signifies a paradigm in which all subtlety is lost. When we regard life as something we’ve failed @, we lose our ability to see the truth, which is no doubt considerably more complex. In addition, we hurt ourselves. @ Some point, the word will NOT be SO loaded with the weight of negativity, and as the song says, ‘in the end it doesn’t really matter,’ this simply refers to life NOT going according to OUR plans. So when you hear the lyrics of this song, know that you are under the influence of an outmoded way of perceiving the world.

Friday, 23 April 2010


Our perception of the traits and characteristics that make us who we are is often tightly intertwined with how we live our life. We define ourselves in terms of the roles we adopt, our actions and inactions, our triumphs, and what we think are failures. As a result it is easy to identify so strongly with a decision that has resulted in unexpected negative consequences that we actually become that "WRONG" decision.

I have a serious problem with my ‘FRIENDS’ just F**KING the F**K out of each other. I know that it has nothing to do with me but, still it bothers me. I believe that it has to do with the inability of my ‘FRIENDS’ to love themselves. Does this misguided notion keep us from building a better community? HELL YES! If this notion continues, they will continue to get what they have; which is nothing…In other words, attracting the characteristic manifested within.

So I propose they need to learn to love ourselves, examine their thought process. Become aware of that SPIRITUAL BEING OF SELF-LOVE. I feel that they are so lazy, so unmotivated to find a MAN out there; it’s like they are afraid of facing themselves or that makes it real…GUESS WHAT, U R A HOMOSEXUAL and your home turf won’t save you. Don’t be afraid of venturing beyond your circle, life is bigger than this rock we live on! It is our diversity that makes us the most powerful and feared people on this planet. Don’t they realize that they have what the world wants?

I know that most of us, myself include yearn for sexual healing. I honestly feel that they are not body & soul conscious and have depleted energy levels and a diminished sense of aliveness in the heart region. Because of the fragmented energy disbursement in the body, sexual motivation usually has more to do with feelings like neediness, escape, and proving one’s self-worth, than with pure pleasure and the normal desire for interconnectedness. I feel that they are frozen in darkness seeking the nearest light, only creating more darkness; becoming frustrated at a perceived inability to negotiate these complexities. They are just repeating an unfulfilled pattern again and again.

It is important to believe that when two human beings share each other’s energy, they simply ask themselves: What motives do I bring to my sexuality? What do I want from the sexual aspect of my nature? How does this experience transcends me to a more profound healing and enriching existence? Contrary to what some believe about sexuality, we need to learn that healthy loving expression includes the expression of our more shadowy desires as well as tenderness. True and spiritual lovemaking is a holistic experience, interweaving our higher and our shadow selves…if ONLY we could do it with an intimate AND open hearts!

Thursday, 22 April 2010


So today is ‘Earth Day’ and I can’t help but feel sorry for us because we dedicate just ONE day to place we’ve lived our ENTIRE lives! This day is seen in the SAME vain as going to church on Sunday…we pat ourselves on our collective backs so that we can feel better about sinning against the earth. Every last one of us knows that we need to do a better job of taking care of our planet, but very few of us are willing to take individual responsibility to make significant changes that can begin to make a difference.

The earth is in greater peril than ever, but there is also unprecedented opportunity to build a new future. Earth Day has the power to bring about historic advances in climate policy, renewable energy and green jobs and catalyze millions who make personal commitments to sustainability. My suggestion for we earthlings would be for each of us to ask:

Are glaciers disappearing?

Is the number of earthquakes on the rise?

Which natural disaster shortened Earth’s days?
Are we willing to make even some small change for something we know to be important?
Can you focus your time and money on things that will really make a difference instead of sweating the small stuff or feeling like there's no point in making any change unless you take a huge leap?

Wednesday, 21 April 2010


I’ve resigned myself to the fact persons within this society will FOREVER show their ignorance when it comes to homosexuality. However, there are moments when I forget that they are unaware and the things that come out of their mouths just stop me in my tracks. Most of things that are being said are by females and now that I think about it, I smile because it MUST burn them SO much that there are men out there who want NOTHING from them on a personal sexual level.

So the other day I was having a conversation with a female co-worker about persons passing the CPA exam on the first try and she told me that she know of one person that did it. Before she started to tell about how this person achieved such a feat, she HAD TO let me he was ***. I thought to myself what does that have to do with the conversation @ hand? I knew the guy she was talking about and I thought to myself that NO matter what accomplishments you achieve, if you are GAY you will ALWAYS be seen as such. Talk about being just an educated GAY slave!

I don’t know about you, BUT I AM TIRED OF BEING ONE OF THE MOST MIS-CALCULATED ASSUMPTIONS IN THIS WORLD! Do you think that GAY men and women who receive degrees under this cloak of academic competence should be bound to struggle to "find themselves" because society does not care to know who we really are? Dealing with such persons can cause GREAT internal turmoil, even after reaching financial comfort. This type of mental and intellectual void can cause one to be an eternal slave to a society that does not have our interest @ heart.

How can we NOT willingly betray our own and hide ourselves JUST to be rewarded with acceptance from them? Isn’t it SO like us to value those that hold us down while they CONSISTENTLY label us as the 'minority,' though there are more of us out there than we would/could ever know? When a GAY person is NEVER given the chance to be him/herself, the degrees we obtain is just the beginning of mental deterioration and intellectual incompetence even though that is NOT the case. In light of all this, we need to continue to excel in living the best lives possible, not just academically but spiritually, mentally and socially. In so doing we are able to rail against the evil that is being perpetuated against us, since being educated men AND women just make us sinners with degrees! Even though I am ALWAYS aware that any effort to correct this way of belief will be vigorously fought and opposed, TOTAL liberation is @ hand, but it has to come about with a COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS! And that starts with the present reader.

Tuesday, 20 April 2010


You’ve probably done it; you’re driving home late at night feeling disappointed – or worse.. Maybe you’re pounding the steering wheel and shouting at yourself. You just finished sex with someone and you’re sorry you did it. 

You know the bumper sticker that says that the worst day at the beach is better than the best day at the office? Well, this is not true about sex. It’s better to stay hungry and horny rather than have sex that leaves you feeling bad about yourself. Good sex means sex that feels enjoyable while you’re having it, and equally good when you think about it afterwards.

Bad sex comes in several flavors, but the all taste pretty bad. You know it’s bad if you feel like you just wasted your time, or like you did something that hurt yourself or someone else. And if the sex is bad, why bother having it?

The main mistakes people make are:

1. The sex was all right, but it was with the wrong guy.

In this instance, there was nothing wrong with the physical acts involved – the sucking, fucking and whatever else felt technically OK. But there was something about the guy or the situation that made it really not work for you.

Maybe one of you was hoping for a friendly encounter (or more) and the other one was brutally frank that this was just about getting off, thank you very much. If you reserve f*cking for someone you love and you do it with someone you find you don’t even like all that much, your butt may be happy, but your heart won’t be. If you’re single and looking for love, sport-f*cking can leave your emotions raw and take a toll on your self-esteem.

If you leave feeling wounded or feeling like you’ve wounded the other guy, the sex was bad, no matter how much of a hunk your partner might have been.

Other situations that make it not work: you’re cheating on your lover and you feel guilty afterwards. Or you and your sex partner match up in terms of availability, but the guy is thoughtless or rude in a way that leaves you feeling bad about yourself afterwards. Or maybe you just have no interest in the guy and realize you weren’t really horny – you were just avoiding some chore like paying the bills at home. A good rule of thumb is to save sex for when you’re horny or wanting intimate connection with another person – not when you’re just bored.

2. Both the sex and the guy were awful.

We’re not talking bad technique here. You picked up the guy when you were high or drunk, even though you know that’s a problem for you, and now you feel like it was just another time when you were out of control. Maybe the guy was so hot that you gave in and had sex that you know was risky and unsafe and now you’re worrying about HIV or some other STD.

Some sex is really, really bad – when you’ve been assaulted, for instance. Maybe you are feeling violated because what happened was essentially date rape. Too often men think rape is something that happens only to women. They don’t recognize that having someone not take no for an answer is also a form of sexual assault, even if no one pulled a knife or a gun. Men who are drunk or high or who are just coming out can be particularly vulnerable to this sort of assault because they have trouble setting limits. Learning to say no and learning to protect yourself is important. The woods aren’t full of creeps, but hey: be careful out there.

3. The sex and the guy seemed OK, but the time afterwards was icky.

We can spend so much time working toward that orgasm that we don’t pay enough attention to what happens afterwards. Put yourself in that place: you’re still breathing hard, and your body is in a tingly, electric place. All of a sudden, your stud muffin is out of bed and on to whatever is next. If you’re having good sex, when the squirting stops you are entering a time that sexologists call afterglow. It’s a time when your heart is open and your body is awake, your mind is quiet and your spirit is soaring. You’re feeling open and maybe vulnerable and with the right guy it’s a very sweet time.

If you’re having bad sex, one of you is probably rushing to the bathroom to clean up right about now, destroying the mood and implying that the lovely puddle of cum on your belly is actually some sort of toxic waste. Good sex honors that semen. Even if you are a neat freak, don’t be in such a rush that you leave your partner feeling dirty afterwards.

Of course in really bad sex someone may not be rushing for the bathroom – they may be running for the front door. When it’s over, it’s over! Nothing to say and no touching or holding. It can feel like listening to a piece of music that gets interrupted before the final notes are played. You’re left hanging.

Orgasms are nice (OK, orgasms are great), but they are not the sum total of sex – especially good sex. Good sex means that getting there is more than half the fun, and staying there afterwards is also pretty cool.

How to avoid bad sex?

First, resist the urge to cruise when you aren’t really horny. Using sex as a time-filler sets you up for disappointment. Learn to say “no” when the chemistry with your potential partner isn’t working; don’t have sex just to avoid disappointing him (believe it or not, people do that all the time). Know your limits regarding alcohol, drugs, unprotected sex and related stuff, and honor the limits you set for yourself. You’ll feel good afterwards.

And finally, when you are having sex and it’s going fine, don’t cheat yourself out of enjoying the coming-in-for-a-landing time after the big orgasm. Treat yourself and your partner with tenderness and respect.

Monday, 19 April 2010


The most likely place to meet your mate is no longer the office; it’s the Internet — especially if you’re shopping for a same-sex love. A recent university study found 61% of gay and lesbian couple participants met their mate online.

The Stanford sociology study focused on couples who met and became involved in the last two years. Of the couples interviewed, 23% of hetero mates had met online, while lesbian and gay couples studied reported almost triple that percentage utilized online dating to find each other.

A 2008 Harris Poll also showed that LGBT people are more steadfast Internet users than straights. About 75% of the LGBT participants surveyed were classified as heavy Internet users, while only 59% of heterosexual participants were found to be heavy Web users.

TELL ME: Why do you think LGBT individuals are more present on the Internet? Where did you meet your current or most recent flame?

Sunday, 18 April 2010


The following is a post that Jerry Maneker wrote close to a year ago that I think is worth repeating, particularly given the fact that we must take the offensive and bring this fight for equal rights to the homophobe, rather than being defensive and merely seek to show people why Gay people deserve the same civil rights that heterosexuals enjoy:

In his book, “In Our Time,” Eric Hoffer who was an excellent philosopher, was self-educated, blind for the first fifteen years of his life, and became a migrant worker and then a longshoreman, wrote the following:

“In the alchemy of man’s soul almost all noble attributes—courage, honor, love, hope, faith, duty, loyalty—can be transmuted into ruthlessness. Compassion alone stands apart from the continuous traffic between good and evil within us. Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: Where there is com-passion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. Thus the survival of the species may well depend on the ability to foster a boundless capacity for compassion.”

So many in the
United States (and elsewhere) lack that essential emotion, “compassion,” that will help ensure the survival of the species! Indeed, the hostility visited upon LGBT people is a very strong indicator in our time of that deficiency!

All sorts of rationalizations have been trotted out by the ignorant and/or hatefully homophobic to try and justify discrimination against LGBT people, ranging from “maintaining traditional family values” to linking Gay people with pedophiles to causing all sorts of societal calamities. The very irrationality of their arguments in favor of deprivation of civil rights to LGBT people both bespeaks lack of compassion as it bespeaks gullibility and/or lack of compassion of those who take their rhetoric seriously.

In his book, “The Passionate State of Mind And Other Aphorisms,” Hoffer states:

“Passions usually have their roots in that which is blemished, crippled, incomplete and insecure within us. The passionate attitude is less a response to stimuli from without than an emanation of an inner dissatisfaction.

“A poignant dissatisfaction, whatever be its cause, is at bottom a dissatisfaction with ourselves. It is surprising how much hardship and humiliation a man will endure without bitterness when he has not the least doubt about his worth or when he is so integrated with others that he is not aware of a separate self.”

And it is to this phenomenon every person who possesses both a critical intellect and the necessary emotion of “compassion” must turn to help understand why there are some homophobes who make their homophobia something like a career. So many spend an inordinate amount of time condemning God’s LGBT children, and one must understand that their animus ultimately resides, not in the object of their hatred, but in their own psyches that betrays their blemishes, crippled natures, incompleteness, and insecurities.

After all, if someone is emotionally and sexually intact, why would there be a need for their obsessive condemnation of other consenting adults’ emotional/sexual orientations?

How is same-sex marriage, for example, going to adversely affect anyone’s heterosexual marriage? Is there anyone who can give a reasonable answer to that question?

Clearly, there can be no rational answer to that rhetorical question! If anything, same-sex marriage will enhance the institution of marriage!

Indeed, increasing legitimacy will accrue to the institution of marriage the more people partake of its rights, privileges, and responsibilities. So, people who are genuinely concerned with the future of the institution of marriage should be working to minimize divorce and encourage same-sex couples who wish to make a lifetime commitment to each other to marry!

Yet, we have many religious (and secular) people who try and prevent same-sex couples from partaking of the very institution from which they benefit, thereby encouraging fornication as one of their prejudices’ byproducts, and they even have the temerity to claim the right to discriminate in the name of God. So, would they have us believe that God would prefer fornication over marriage among Gay people?

Can they be that clueless that they could reasonably expect that Gay people can, should, and must lead celibate lives while only heterosexuals can and should fulfill one of human beings’ most primal urges?

The irrationality of homophobic rhetoric shows a clear deficiency on the part of homophobes regarding their level of “compassion,” as it does their clear dissatisfaction with their own lot in life! Why else spend such an inordinate amount of time thinking about and condemning the emotional/sexual lives of others?

Emotionally and sexually intact people aren’t particularly concerned with the emotional and sexual lives of other adults! They are likely to have a “live and let live” approach to such matters!

However, when someone has an inordinate fascination with condemning others, that condemnation betrays an emotional deficiency that makes compassion very difficult, if not impossible, to have or sustain.

And if a Christian (or any other decent person) can be characterized by any one characteristic, that characteristic is “compassion!”

Christians are to be agents of God’s grace in this world; we are to preach and live out the Gospel of grace, faith, love, peace, reconciliation, and inclusiveness! And those who condemn others, those who seek to deprive others of civil rights, those who help create a climate of fear and hatred of others, have shown by their words and/or deeds that they are neither Christians nor even decent people!

We are to make no mistake: homophobes are absolutely no different in their mind-set and in their emotional deficiencies than were and are White Supremacists! Both groups partake of the need to discriminate and hate in order for the awareness of their own emotional deficiencies to be overridden by their condemnation of others!

“Condemnation” acts as an imperfect and temporary band-aid to help heal the haters’ own emotional woundedness, a woundedness that they don’t have the courage to bring themselves to face, confront, and overcome! So, they take the coward’s way out and, rather than deal with “the beam in their own eye,” they feel the need to manufacture a beam in a minority group whom they perceive it is safe to persecute.

And when that particular minority group is no longer considered safe to persecute, they will search for another minority group upon which to vent their anger, an anger borne of their own emotional deficiencies that they cloak in religious trappings, so that they can try and stake a claim on “godliness,” “virtue” and “morality” when, in fact, their own rhetoric and actions show them to manifest the greatest form of ungodliness, lack of virtue, and immorality: the sin of pride in their oppression of others!

Jesus never condemned Gay people, but He sure spent quite a bit of time condemning the proud, the haughty, the legalists who condemned and discriminated against others and put yokes of bondage onto others, all the while claiming to impose those yokes in the name of God.

If haters didn’t have an object to hate, they would be forced to confront their own emotional blemishes, crippled natures, incompleteness, insecurities, deficiencies and frailties. And that is the last thing a moral coward feels he/she can afford to do!

Saturday, 17 April 2010


"Love Is" is the title of a 1993 duet released by Vanessa Williams and Brian McKnight. The single originally appeared on the soundtrack to the TV drama series, Beverly Hills, 90210. Although the song did not appear in that series, it did appear in the 90210 spinoff series, Melrose Place. After this exposure, the song peaked at number three on the Billboard Hot 100, becoming McKnight's breakthrough hit and another hit for Williams. The song peaked at number one on the adult contemporary chart, where it spent three weeks at the summit. There were two different versions released to radio, the more common mix includes energetic electric guitar performing the solo in the bridge; an alternate lesser known mix, presents melodic solo piano at the bridge. The edit version was that of the guitar mix, which presented a fade out during the second of the two ending chorus refrains.

Friday, 16 April 2010


So, you've been seeing him on and off for a bit. You hold hands (in private). You don’t spend every free moment together. You guys don’t really communicate with each other…And you won’t introduce him to persons that are close to you…He is NOT your boyfriend, your husband, partner OR special friend, he is what I would call a PRACTICE BOY. BUT WHO IS A PRATICE BOY?

If I were to put it simply, he would be that MAN that gives you EVERYTHING you want AND NOTHING @ all. He is VERY treacherous and he does NOT live as if his sexuality is one of GOD’S gifts. He feels that HE is GOD’S gift! And even though he is NOT a good person to have around, he somehow manages to establish a FEAR-BASED attachment with way too many of us. While his incentives may be financial, they are by NO means his reason for living like this. He is VERY much experienced AND devoid of principles. He LOVES himself SO much that he’ll get with anyone he so desires. It could be your lover OR friend, it does NOT matter…the ONLY thing that matters is him.

Which makes him DANGEROUS because as knows how to treat a man (when it comes to sex). He’ll use his MOUTH, TONGUE and ASS to please a man in EVERY way possible. He is that BOYISH~MAN that spreads his ass cheeks wide enough for you while holding his legs in position. He knows EXACTLY what you would want to do; and he is ALWAYS ready…making him a PERFECT mate for the desperate; and the WORST enemy for the man that wants something real. And trying to figure him out is like falling head first down a never-ending rabbit hole…IT WILL GET YOU NO WHERE! Because his reasons for living the way he does involve a mixture of positive AND negative justifications. Your best defense would be to run like hell and NOT take him on.

His SELF-WORTH is wrapped up in SEX and his quest for SOCIAL STATUS. This ENIGMATIC behavior reflects his emotional distance from the world around him; and he isn’t interested in anything OR anyone unless it can benefit him. So to his disciples I say TAKE HEED AND DO WHAT HE OBVIOUSLY CAN’T…LOVE YOURSELF! I know that HE more than likely is a GREAT piece of ass (lawd knows so many of them are), but he is ONLY a distraction that keeps us LIVING the NEGATIVE part of our sexuality. He is that QUICK fix that goes TERRIBLY wrong; that will NOT be able to make up your shortcomings…that 24-hour homosexual that is about the MONEY, CARS & HIGH-END DESIGNER CLOTHES…SO USE COMMON SENSE ALONG WITH GOOD SOUND JUDGMENT TO AVOID A BOND WITH THIS INDIVIDUAL. IF YOU FIND THAT A BIT DIFFICULT, REMEMBER: THAT IT TAKES A MAN TO MAKE A LIFE WITH & A BOY TO F&CK THINGS UP. DON’T INVEST YOUR TIME & ENERGY INTO A PRACTICE BOY, HE DOES NOT DESERVE IT! TO DO ANYTHING ELSE IS OTHER THAN THAT IS ANTICLIMACTIC…

Thursday, 15 April 2010


So I was having a conversation with a guy I used to have sex with recently. When I met him I knew he had HIV...there was something about his energy that made me believe so. He had a that died of  meningitis to the brain which was a result from HIV complications. He told me that he had NO idea what caused his lover to die even though EVERYONE knew what he died from! He also told me that he hadn't been tested for more than 5 years because he didn't want to know and that he was afraid to find out. So me being me I decided that I wanted to show him that it was still possible for him to be intimate with another. And after that I kept getting on him about getting tested and he finally gave in and confirmed what I knew and thought he didn't...So he and I was having a conversation about another person that passed on due the same thing that happened to his lover. He told me how the guy stopped taking his meds and just gave up, so I asked him if he ever thought about doing the same and he told me, 'the doctor asked me if I wanted to end up like my lover ' (who was in the hospital bed @ the time)? He said that he told him NO! So then I asked him if the meds he is taking now is the same as he was taking back then and he told me NO! Which means he lied to me about knowing about his status...and I know that I decided to take him on even though I knew had HIV, but do you think I should call him out for lying about not knowing when it was clear he knew he had the disease or should I let that sleeping dog lie?

Wednesday, 14 April 2010


Isn’t it funny how life sometimes causes you to remember to forget, but never forget to forget? I came upon this first-hand a few weeks ago when I saw the Managing Director from my first job where I was fired for being gay. I was walking towards my car and I heard this person shouting out my name and giving me the BIGGEST hail EVER! I looked back as the car passed me, trying to figure out who it was and the person said, ‘this is me Ivy!’ I was like okay waved and kept walking…and the thought came to me, did she remember treating me like dirt because of my sexuality? I smiled because the man I am now, have NO problem with her or her past actions. I just thought to myself, how would the 31 year old me explain my forgiving her to the 21 year old me?

I could see the 21 year old me saying remember when your manager called you in her office on a daily basis to ask you how you were feeling and if everyone is treating me okay? Even when she knew they weren’t because she NEVER let me forget that if it came to her job or mine well…How could I forget the way they belittled me and made me less than human…making me question my existence on this planet. I sometimes wonder how I didn’t take my own life when it was SO hard for me to understand who I was @ that time.

But I know that I didn’t because back then I knew that as humans we judge others by what we think we see and TOO frequently our judgments are incomplete. I don’t have the need to set myself apart from what they fear and I’ve learned that though there is NO excuse for how I was treated, I understand where their fear was coming from. In the words of Mother Teresa said, “If you judge people, you don’t have time to love them.” If we are quick to pass judgment on others, we forget that they, like us, are human beings. As I traveled my path, I bear in mind that we VERY seldom know what roads people have traveled before we encounter them or why they came into our lives. But I know that the natural thing for me to do is accept that experience and still grieve for the way things ended up.

I would hope that the 21 year old me would understand that bitter feelings ONLY allow us to become perfect victims in that we no longer feel obliged to work toward healing and choose instead to identify with our pain. So while we all are tethered to the earth, existing in bodies, our physical selves can seem burdensome at times. So as I carry this welcome burden from my past, I know that I am WHOLLY present in a body and that gives me a better understand of my place on this planet. So I hope that I get to see each and everyone of them so that I can show the 21 year old me that @ 31 I have moved past what we were to them and ourselves and I feel blessed that I went down such a path because now that I know better, I can do better…


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