¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Friday, 31 July 2009


I THINK THE ENTRY SPEAKS FOR ITSELF & I DON’T NEED TO EXPLAIN MY MOTIVE BEHIND IT…How many men/women have you been with? Yeah man, sexually! Do you even know how many? Do you remember their names? What about their HIV status? Knowing your own sexual history is beneficial to living a longer and healthier life. 
Take a moment, grab a pen and a sheet of paper and do this activity.

  1. Create 3 columns on a sheet of paper. 
  2. In the 1st column, write down the names (if you still know them) of ALL the men you've ever had sex with. If you don't know their names, still include them by writing men A, men B, etc. NOTE: Sex includes oral sex, anal sex and mutual masturbation. 
  3. Now go over your list and note those with whom you had unprotected ORAL or ANAL sex with in the 2nd column. (Simply write "unprotected" or "protected" in this column) 

  4. Lastly, go back over your list and write down whether or not you knew their HIV status in the 3rd column. If you weren't 100% sure of their status (meaning without proof of status, aka seeing the actual test results), write HIV next to their names. REMEMBER: All because someone doesn't say they have HIV or doesn't "LOOK" like they have HIV, doesn't mean they don't have HIV! And wake up, because men lie about their status too. FACT: 32% of all men who have sex with other dudes are HIV+. FACT: 9 out of 10 HIV infected people are unaware they are infected. Now circle those with whom you had unprotected ORAL or ANAL sex with and DID NOT 100% know their status. These are the men who may have exposed you to HIV or some other STD and didn't even know it! Remember, it only takes one time to catch something!
    1. Patrick (unprotected)
    2. David (protected)
    3. Joe (protected)
    4. Lahron (protected)
    5. Frank (protected)
    6. Valentino (unprotected)
    7. Dorrington (protected)
    8. Lothario (unprotected)
    9. Michael (protected)
    10. Teran (protected)
    11. Alescio (protected)
    12. Dexter (protected)
    13. Ancenio (protected)
    14. Vernon (protected)
    15. Prince (protected)
    16. Travis (unprotected)
    17. Patrick (protected)
    18. Dashwell (protected)
    19. Corey (UNprotected)
    20. Dexter (protected)
    21. Levar (protected)
    22. Taneil (protected)
    23. Nardo (protected)
    24. Calvin (protected)
    25. Devon (protected)
    26. Andrew (protected)
    27. Jamaal (protected)
    1. Leo
    2. Kenton
    3. Devince
    4. Mario
    5. Adrian
    6. Ricardo
    7. Dominic
    8. Paul
    9. Stewert
    10. Xavier
    11. George
    12. Shawn
    13. Michael
    14. Clive
    15. Marche
    16. Vaughn
    17. Cardell
    18. Andrew
    19. Benji
    20. Jamiko
    21. Wellington
    1. Teran
    2. Michael
    3. Andrew
    4. Roosevelt
    5. Donald
    6. David
    7. Kevin

Thursday, 30 July 2009


HIV prevention has had two previous "eras" of prevention. When HIV/AIDS first broke, the primary message was "don’t get HIV or you’ll die." This era was before the time of effective medication (pre-1996). Once the field discovered some basic medications, the second era of HIV started where prevention attempts had an implicit assumption that we would be able to eradicate the spread of HIV.

However, today we need a third era of HIV prevention and I have a few ideas on what the new era should look like. We need an approach that affirms the importance of HIV prevention without using fear as the primary motivator. We also need to acknowledge the reality that HIV is no longer considered a deadly illness but is now a chronic illness. Don’t get me wrong; HIV is extremely serious, but, we might be able to learn from other prevention programs, smoking for example, in developing better HIV prevention.

We also need to see risky sexual behaviors as a symptom rather than the problem. Co-occurring problems such as drug and alcohol use, mental health concerns, sexual compulsivity, and poverty are but a few of the related issues that need to be addressed in prevention.

Wednesday, 29 July 2009



Tuesday, 28 July 2009


The Internet has become a breeding ground for people to lie about everything and one has to be careful. Just because it looks good doesn't mean that is what you are going to get when you meet.The picture is HOT!!! The conversation is flowing and he has just offered to come over your house. You are ready to get some serious action going. You give him your address and in twenty minutes exactly as he promised, Mr. Right Now is at your door. You open it and all hell breaks loose. Your fantasy man is nothing like the picture or as he described himself. To make matters worse, he is trying to act as if pictures were recent but just have slacked off from the gym in a few weeks, but you know that gaining 50 pounds in that span of time is not possible. This connection is not going to happen at all. Pissed at what has transpired, you vow not to use the internet to hookup. Could you have saved yourself the hassle? So here is how you can alleviate the games that come with online hook ups with these questions.

  • HOW RECENT IS YOUR PICTURE? Online dating is about cutting to the truth. And that truth begins with the way people portray themselves. Asking this question will let you know how long it's been since the picture was taken. Generally, people should update their pictures every 6 months unless they have gained weight or changed physically. If either one is the case then the person needs to update ASAP! If the response to this question is, "This picture is a year old but my friends tell me that I look the same". Then ask for a recent picture and don't meet the guy without getting one. Yes this may seem like a harsh request but when you have driven an hour to meet someone that clearly had a deceptive picture, you will value this advice.

  • DO YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR PICTURE? This question may seem like the same but it clarifies the first. I have meet men that have had recent pictures but decided to shave their head, started to grow twists, gained some weight recently , etc. My goal is to find out if I am going to get exactly what I am talking too at the moment. If you are dealing with a legit person, he will tell you if there have been since the last picture was taken.

  • DO YOU LIVE ALONE? I am not a fan of room mates. Men have confided in me that they have gone to meet men only to find out that the "mate" was an ex-lover. If you are hosting, then be prepared to let people know if there are others that share your space. Understand that many people are freaked out to some level about meeting anonymously. For them to come to your house and find it packed with people, elevates their fear. Keeping safety in mind I offer this advice, do not visit anyone on a first meeting that has a room mate. Meet in a public place or have him visit your home.

  • HOW OLD ARE YOU? Some guys online have two ages: the Interntet Age & the Real Age. Your job is to find out the real one. This may not be a major issue for some but imagine driving two hours to meet a man that has a picture and age that says he's 42. When you meet him, he tells you that is really 57. It's obvious that he's older but you are now pissed because you didn't get the facts. Some people may lie about the questions that we suggest you ask. Always let you potential hookups know that if anything is false when you meet that nothing is going to happen. The response will either be favorable or communication will stop. Either way you would have saved yourself the hassle. Use these questions and watch your connections improve.

Monday, 27 July 2009


On this episode of True Blood, we learn more about Bill's history with Lorena, Sookie and Hugo attempt to infiltrate the Fellowship of the Sun, Tara and Eggs stumble upon more of Maryann's shenanigans and Sam and Daphne take their relationship to a whole new level.

BILL & LORENA: Eric has summoned Lorena, Bill's maker, apparently in an effort to bend cranky Bill to his will. Her presence triggers a flashback to Chicago in 1926. Playing the part of a French woman named Fabiane, Lorena is charming the pants off a boorish, nouveau-riche couple while her partner-in-glamoring, Guillaume (aka Bill), plays the piano and sings "Hard-Hearted Hannah" (subtitle: "The Vamp of Savannah"). It's a song made famous by Ella Fitzgerald, but Bill's Jazz Age rendition is also pretty sweet.

Bill and Lorena's seductions are successful, but instead of a hot fourgy, the vampire pair drains the poor couple so they can steal their house. And then Bill and Lorena do it in the resultant pool of blood….EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

SOOKIE & HUGO: Isabel volunteers her human boyfriend, Hugo to accompany Sookie on her mission to infiltrate the Fellowship of the Sun. This gives the pair the opportunity to chit-chat about the pros and cons of dating a vampire, but when Hugo brings up the subject of Isabel "turning" him, Sookie clams up.

They pose as Holly and Rufus, an engaged couple looking for a place to get married, and they're greeted by Sarah Newlin herself. "Aren't you just a cool breeze on a summer day?" Sarah coos when Sookie-as-Holly tells her she's cute as a button. Actually, before they meet, Sookie compares Sarah to vanilla pudding, but for my money I'd say she's more of a lemon meringue.

The Newlins (the Rev. joins them) show Sookie and Hugo the Light of Day Chapel, which is, indeed, full of light. Symbolically, it's there that Sookie sees the light by reading the Newlins' thoughts and figures out that they're up to no good, and are going to stake a 2,000-year-old vampire at sunrise.

But Rev. Newlin is doing some keen observation as well, because he's already on to Sookie and Hugo. He offers to show them his father's tomb in the basement, and soon enough, Drill Sergeant Gabe and the Rev. are forcing Sookie and Hugo down the stairs and into the darkness.

@ JESUS CAMP Meanwhile, Luke and an oblivious Jason have a special assignment from the Rev.: to build a platform for a Meet the Sun ceremony, in which a vampire is nailed to the cross and then an audience watches as he or she bursts into flames as the sun rises. Fun! The Newlins present it as some big honor, but it's kind of a pain in the butt to Jason, as his tiny brain is occupied still processing the close encounter he had with Sarah the night before. He asks Luke about abstinence, and concludes hilariously that it's the right choice for him.

Without knowing that his sister is now locked in the basement, Jason enters the church to tell the Newlins that the platform is done. Up in the balcony, Sarah is having a moment. You see, Steve is not just preparing an army to defend themselves against vampires; he's planning to start a war with vampires. "He's vicious and he's cruel and he uses the C word," Sarah says. She goes in for a kiss, but Jason is skeptical. "I was put here on Earth to be that great woman behind her great man," Sarah says. "I'm supposed to be with you. How can this be wrong if it's what God is commanding me to do?" And then of course they get BIZ-AY. I think we need one of those safety calendars like they have in factories that say, like, "16 Days Since Our Last Accident" for Jason's adventures in abstinence.

LAFAYETTE: Andy questions Lafayette about his disappearance. Andy is suspicious because since his return, Laf has "lost some of his pizzazz," and if he had gone on a gay cruise like he claims, he would have come back with more pizzazz. Laf is clearly spooked by his time in the dungeon, and sees Eric questioning him instead of Andy, which naturally freaks him out. Terry intervenes, scolds his cousin and reassures Laf. He even gives him a hug, telling him to imagine a "golden glowing ball radiating warmth."

Just when Laf thinks things are back to normal, Pam shows up at Merlotte's to inform him that he is back in business selling V. No explanation is forthcoming for why he should resume committing the very crime that got him in trouble with Eric in the first place, but I'm guessing it's some more Godric-related reconnaissance.

HOYT & JESSICA: Hoyt's mother, canceled his cell phone to prevent him from talking to Jessica, who calls at all hours of the night. Hoyt lets the vampire girlfriend out of the bag, and this makes Maxine clutch her pearls. Hoyt is so emboldened by this conversation that he drives all the way to Dallas apparently to see Jessica. It's a romantic moment for the pair, and it made me really root for them.

SAM & DAPHNE: Sam and Daphne are basking in the glow of sex on the pool table. He finally asks her about the scratches on her back, and she says that she never saw who or what did it to her, but she was sick for weeks. She changes the subject and asks Sam who knows he's a shifter. For a moment, I think it's nice that they have this odd backstory in common, but then I remember that I've already convinced myself that Daphne is totally evil, so I keep my emotions in check.

It's hard not to be charmed when Sam suggests they leave work, shape-shift and go "run and play." So they do, playing chicken with poor Andy Bellefleur's car. "I know that pig!" grunts Andy, when he sees Daphne's go-to shift toddling along with Sam-as-collie. Andy's mind is obviously reeling as he remembers all the other out-of-place pigs he's seen recently.

@ THE ORGY: Uh-oh, the water heater is broken at Chez Stackhouse, and Maryann is kind of cranky because both her shower and her coffee are cold. So Tara and Eggs have to leave to go pick up a part or something. Along the way, Eggs starts acting all medium-like, asking Tara to turn off the road at a diner built in an old red barn. This leads Eggs into a field to which he insists he has been. There are discarded clothes, an extinguished fire and a rock that appears to be caked in dried blood. It's disturbing that he can't remember when he was there, but then again, we've seen how the average Maryann party alters its attendees, right?

Eggs is shaken up, so they head back to Sookie's house, where a familiar scene is unfolding. The house is trashed, like there's been a party, and there's a trail of clothing leading out to a back field. There's a fire burning, Maryann is vibrating and — oh, right — everyone there is totally doing it, including Arlene and Terry.
Daphne apparently has a kinky streak because she is taking Sam to the orgy as well. But! Just when things start to get interesting — oh hey, there's Tara and Eggs with big black pupils doing it in the field as well! — Daphne has an announcement to make. "It's the end of the road," she tells Sam, and with that, she approaches Maryann and helps her put on her ceremonial bull head as she starts chanting in Greek and Karl brings over the ceremonial dagger. What do she and Maryann have in store for poor Sam?

What did you think of "Hard-Hearted Hannah"? Was it good to see Bill's evil streak? Do you think Jason will save his sister from Rev. Newlin? What do the vampires have in store for Lafayette? Are you rooting for Hoyt and Jessica? And what on earth could Maryann's possible endgame be for the people of Bon Temps?

Sunday, 26 July 2009


E. Lynn Harris, whose novels about successful and glamorous black men with sexual identity conflicts (and the women and men who love them) made him one of the nation’s most popular writers, died in Los Angeles on Thursday. He was 54 and lived in Atlanta.
Mr. Harris fell briefly ill earlier in the week on a train to Los Angeles, said Laura Gilmore, a publicist for Mr. Harris, but he had seen a doctor and everything seemed fine. She said she had spoken to him by phone at his hotel Thursday evening and had no inkling of a problem. He died shortly thereafter.
“A doctor was called and couldn’t revive him,” Ms. Gilmore said.
Mr. Harris clearly tapped a rich vein of reader interest with his racy and sometimes graphic tales of affluent, ambitious, powerful black men — athletes, businessmen, lawyers and the like — who nonetheless struggled with their attraction to both men and women. His books married the superficial glamour of jet-setting potboilers with an emotional candor that shed light on a segment of society that had received little attention: black men on the down low — that is, men who are publicly heterosexual but secretly have sex with men.
Mr. Harris, who was openly gay but who lived for many years in denial or shame or both over that fact, was able to draw on his own experiences to make credible the emotional conflicts of his characters, and his readers, many of them women, were drawn to his books because they addressed issues that were often surreptitiously pertinent to their own lives.
Mr. Harris’s leap to fame was an unlikely success story. He was in his mid-30s, making his living as a computer salesman, when he began to write. His first book, “Invisible Life,” was self-published in 1991 — and he sold it himself, too, out of his car, on black college campuses, in barbershops in black neighborhoods — until it was discovered and published as a trade paperback in 1994.
After that Mr. Harris wrote 11 other books, including “Just as I Am,” “If This World Were Mine,” “A Love of My Own” and “Any Way the Wind Blows.” A memoir, “What Becomes of the Brokenhearted,” underscoring how far and how fast Mr. Harris’s star rose, begins with his suicide attempt in August 1990. According to his publisher, Doubleday, Mr. Harris had 10 consecutive books on the New York Times best-seller list, and more than four million copies of his books are in print.
Everette Lynn Harris was born in Flint, Mich., on June 20, 1955, and grew up in Little Rock, Ark. He met his father only briefly, when he was 14, and for years had believed that Ben Odis Harris, who had married his mother, was his biological father. In his memoir Mr. Harris wrote that his stepfather, a sign painter by trade, was a drinker who beat him and his mother, Etta, and who routinely humiliated him for any behavior he deemed “sissy.” His first homosexual experience occurred in the ninth grade; it and many others ended badly. The confusion and alienation he felt as a boy and as a young man would become the fuel for his fiction.
“There was no category for someone like me,” Mr. Harris said in an interview with The New York Times in 2003, “who wanted everything I saw on TV and who wanted everything I thought the world wanted for me — a relationship with someone, a home, to achieve a certain degree of the American dream.”
Mr. Harris studied journalism at the University of Arkansas, where he was a cheerleader, a pursuit that became a lifelong passion; he later coached cheerleaders at his alma mater. After college he went to work as a salesman for I.B.M.
In addition to his mother, who lives in Little Rock, he is survived by three sisters, Anita Harris-Nelson and Janetta Ogbulafor, both of Little Rock, and Zettoria McDaniel of Irving, Tex.
In one way, Mr. Harris owed his success to a stranger. One day in the early 1990s, he walked into a bookstore in Atlanta to try to persuade the store manager to carry his self-published book and was given some advice from a saleswoman on the floor whose name he never learned. She told him that he needed a New York agent and that the agent he needed was a man named John Hawkins.
“I have no idea who she was or how she knew of me,” Mr. Hawkins said. “But he contacted me, and I read his book, and I said ‘Sure.’ ”

He inspired many that anything is possible if you believe in yourself. E. Lynn, you will truly be missed!

Saturday, 25 July 2009


ANYTIME YOU NEED A FRIEND is a song written and produced by American singer Mariah Carey and Walter Afanasieff, and recorded for Carey's third studio album Music Box (1993). It is a gospel-tinged ballad whose protagonist informs a friend that anytime they need a friend she will be there. It was released as the album's fourth and final single in the second quarter of 1994. All of Carey's previous singles had been top five hits on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100, but ANYTIME YOU NEED A FRIEND ended this streak entering at number 45 and peaking at number 12, remaining in the top forty-twelve for eighteen weeks and on the chart for twenty-one. Despite this, it was popular on the radio and was ranked number 47 on the Hot 100 1994 year-end charts, giving Carey three singles in the top half of the chart. When I hear this song I am reminded that sometimes the best thing you can give another person is the GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP…When we give ourselves in this way we tend to do so much more for another; ESPECIALLY when it done free of misgivings AND thoughts of compensation.

Friday, 24 July 2009


When two people come together, they each bring their own set of compromises. We seek others (consciously or subconsciously) that match our ideals. So when it comes to SEX with GAY men, there should NOT be any surprise that there are a few of us out there that are NOT into ANAL sex in any form of fashion. A lot of men prefer romance AND intimacy over penetration. However, there seems to be this way of thinking that when the subject of SEX is brought to the table (WHICH IS THE NORM), that it has to be done and that is so unnecessary. Just like sexuality, our ideas of SEX are often blurred; and it is my belief that SEX does NOT make the man. Our strength isn’t dependant upon the act of sex; it lies in our ability to recognize why we are having sex in the first place. I care about companionship and intimacy more than just the act itself. It makes me feel horrible to think that regardless of what I do to with a man; he is NOT satisfied until things become SEXUAL. I think SEX is an important part of a relationship, but if the goal is only SEX then there will be problems. If the average GAY were to look back on past relationships, he would notice that most of them failed. Therefore, I am quite sure that SEX was a MAJOR player in that scenario. SEX is EXTREMELY powerful that WE allow it to sometimes take us outside of a relationship AND seek it with someone else. I feel that GAY men have a distinct advantage when it comes to SEX, but we act as if we are bottom feeders (PUN INTENDED). SEX is so OVER DONE that it seems that it is a situation of FORCED entry. But whether we realize it OR not, we carry around a list of inherent lifestyle priorities; and these choices are what we aid our happiness by. Our lives are based on our values, which can be in the category of LOVE, POLITICS, HEALTH, SOCIAL CAUSES, SEXUALITY and so forth. These values are formed throughout our life under varying circumstances. SO I CANNOT HELP BUT WONDER HOW SEX BECAME MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN OUR LIVES…I GUESS IN THE END IT DOES NOT MATTER I AM TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT IS BIGGER THAN ME…THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS GETTING OFF; BUT EQUALITY DOES NOT START WITH SEX, IT HASN’T THEN & IT WON’T NOW. EQUALITY IN SEX MEANS EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES TO ENGAGE EMOTIONS & FEELINGS TO ENSURE THAT PASSION & CONNECTION ARE INTACT. I GET THAT SEX IS IMPORTANT & IT SHOULD NOT BE ELIMINATED FROM OUR LIVES…ALL I AM SAYING IS THAT WE SHOULD ALLOW THE INTIMACY TO MEAN SOMETHING BEYOND THE ACT ITSELF…SO HOW ABOUT WE NOT LET IT BE THE SOLE BASIS FOR ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP WE ARE EMBARKING UPON?

Thursday, 23 July 2009


I am a beautiful Black man
Living in a society that wishes to mold me
But my self-respect won’t allow anyone but myself to define me.
I don’t have a need to be trendy
Insubstantial judgments rarely do offend me
I am who I am I choose freely who I wish to be
It is not hard to fathom how I define me.
I don’t need to prove I am smart ass
Just to show that I have class
So I can fit in with the shallow cliques and deceitful friends
God made me beautifully articulate,
Do you see & I define me?
I don’t need a man standing by my side
To attain a sense of self-pride
A strong man’s love is a commodity to be known
But before a man undermines my strengths I’d gladly stand alone.
Do I possess weaknesses
Yes, that’s for sure,
But what makes me the king I am is my ability to endure.
You see, I define me
Though it’s not always done easily
because the perils of a weak society
often catch me in an unjust propriety.
They say a GAY man is something to be feared!
Because I choose my own path,
Shouldn’t be something that’s revered?
I was not presented with a silver spoon @ the time of my birth
but I didn’t wait around for the world to determine my intrinsic worth.
I chose to stand out never waiting for a hand out
I chose never to wait on destiny when I was perfectly capable of defining me.
So please take off your blinders and see this world won’t give credit where it’s due
Until you stand on your own & decide to define you.

 © tgk

Wednesday, 22 July 2009



Tuesday, 21 July 2009


Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
Memorize your favorite poem.
Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
When you say, “I love you”, mean it.
When you say, “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eye.

Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
Believe in love at first sight.
Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
Don’t judge people by their relatives.
Talk slowly but think quickly.
When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
Call your mom.

Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.
When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Smile when picking up the phone, the caller will hear it in your voice.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
Spend some time alone.
Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Read more books and watch less TV.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll get to enjoy it a second time.
Trust in God but lock your car.
A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

Read between the lines.
Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
Be gentle with the earth.
Pray. There’s immeasurable power in it.
Never interrupt when you are being flattered.

Mind your own business.
Don’t trust a man/woman who doesn’t close his/her eyes when you kiss.
At least once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.

Learn the rules then break some.
Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
Remember that your character is your destiny.
Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.


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