¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Sunday, 30 November 2008


For a LONG time now, we’ve been living in a world where mankind has been getting ready to live. And as a result of this we have a world that is consumed with ALL the wrong things. From money to fancy cars to the huge house we want it ALL! It is SO sad that many of us seek the answers to life’s question by looking outside of ourselves and try to get happiness N’ joy from the things that will NOT last. Each of us is unique, with OUR own personal histories, OUR own sense of right and wrong, and OUR own way of experiencing the world that defines OUR realities; and using everything AND everyone will ONLY further the problem that already exists in this world. We need to be ready because the future started YESTERDAY and we are a day late AND a dollar short. WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR US TO GET IT? More terrorist attack in some parts of the world? More people dying from hunger? More fretting about the how AND why of life? We need to act as THE compass of life and NOT life being the compass of us. We need to learn to HEAR, TRUST and EMBRACE the world as it happening on MANY levels. I get that within us there are NUMEROUS voices that often compete for our attention. It can be difficult to decide which one to listen to, particularly when the world is sending out its very own set of signals. However ONE voice is the speaker of TRUTH and that’s the voice that is telling you TO BE READY! We need to achieve this if we are to fix things and make them better. Because we’ve been living like we don’t get what humanity is all about, I get that being READY is something that will not happen overnight. But I am SURE if we are PATIENT as we relearn how to be a human with a heart N’ soul we can get there in NO time. We need to STOP going against the TRUTH because it slapping us in the face everyday in every way. THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE, PLACES N’ THINGS YOU CAN SEE THE HAND GOD @ WORK, YET WE IGNORE IT & LIVE AS IF WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE PEOPLE WE ARE…IT IS TIME TO STIR UP OUR SOULS SO WE CAN MAKE THAT JOURNEY TO THAT MOUNTAIN TOP & BE READY SO WE DON’T HAVE TO GET READY FOR THE CHANGE THE WORLD NEEDS…

Saturday, 29 November 2008


THE BOY IS MINE is an R&B song recorded by American singers Brandy and Monica. It was originally written by Brandy Norwood, LaShawn Daniels, Fred Jerkins III, Rodney "Darkchild" Jerkins and Brandy for her second studio album Never Say Never (1998) but was eventually released as the lead single off of both singers' second albums during the second quarter of 1998 (see 1998 in music). To date, it is both singers' most successful song. What don’t you LOVE about this song? This showcase EXACTLY both Brandy and Monica are who they are and I can’t get enough of it.

Friday, 28 November 2008



  • How you see yourself when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind.
  • What you believe about your own appearance (including your memories, assumptions, and generalizations).
  • How you feel about your body, including your height, shape, and weight.
  • How you sense and control your body as you move. How you feel in your body, not just about your body.

  • A distorted perception of your shape--you perceive parts of your body unlike they really are.
  • You are convinced that only other people are attractive and that your body size or shape is a sign of personal failure.
  • You feel ashamed, self-conscious, and anxious about your body.
  • You feel uncomfortable and awkward in your body.

  • A clear, true perception of your shape--you see the various parts of your body as they really are.
  • You celebrate and appreciate your natural body shape and you understand that a person`s physical appearance says very little about their character and value as a person.
  • You feel proud and accepting of your unique body and refuse to spend an unreasonable amount of time worrying about food, weight, and calories.
  • You feel comfortable and confident in your body. 

Accepting YOUR body image means:

  1. Appreciate the things your body can do. With your body, you can walk, dance, laugh, and dream.
  2. See yourself as a whole person. When you look at yourself in a mirror, avoid focusing on specific areas of your body. Everyone else sees you as a whole person—you should too. 
  3. Wear comfortable clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Try not to wear clothes that are too tight or too baggy, and fit your style. 
  4. Remember that true beauty is more than skin-deep. The most beautiful people in the world are beautiful because of who they are, not what they look like. 
  5. Keep a list of the top ten things you like about yourself. These things shouldn't be about what you look like or your weight. Make sure you read your list often. 
  6. Surround yourself with positive people—positivity is catching. By being around positive people, you will learn to be more positive yourself. 
  7. Stop listening to the inner voices telling you something is wrong with your body, or that you are a bad person. Drown these negative voices out with positive ones. 
  8. View media and social messages critically. Instead of believing what they tell you, look beyond the hype to see the truth. 
  9. Pamper yourself. Show your body that you appreciate it by soaking in a tub, taking a nap, or going for a walk on a sunny day. 
  10. Do something for someone else. You might be surprised at how good it will make you feel about yourself.

We all may have our days when we feel awkward OR uncomfortable in our bodies, but the key to developing a positive body image is to recognize AND respect our natural shape AND learn to overpower those negative thoughts N' feelings with positive, affirming AND accepting ones.

Thursday, 27 November 2008


CLNMIKE has surprised N honored me with the Superior Scribbler Award and I am giving this one out to the warriors who stand on the front lines and bear their souls for us to see. I couldn’t think of better time than today since America is celebrating giving thanks. I wanted to put mine out there for the following bloggers:

SHALLOTTEI chose this blog because not only is she a GREAT person but she has a kind heart N’ soul. I’ve been trying to get her to enter the blog universe for a while and I am glad that she did. She is TOTALLY deserving of this award and I see that her comments on my blog were ONLY the tip of the iceberg…KEEP GOING…

XIVINRAHI don’t remember how I came across his blog, but I am glad that I did. This young man puts SO much of himself into his writing that it is SO hard NOT to feel his struggles. He reminds me so much of myself and I felt that he is more than deserving of this reward.

KIN’ SHARWhat can I say about her that hasn’t been said? This woman has the kind of energy N’ spirit that can put a smile on anyone’s heart. She is DEFINITELY someone that I would spend time with because she has a vision that is beyond her own; and that’s VERY rare in this world today.

TRU3LOGICMr. TRU3LOGIC, you are something else. NOT only are you one of the best men I know, but you are the FIRST man to follow my blog and hold you in such high esteem. You have such a light and know that you will continue to let that shine…ROCK ON MY BROTHER…DON’T STOP!

XEMVANADAMSThis man says EVERYTHING that I would say if I ever decided to put personal videos on my blog like he does. He is on a mission to get his message, his work out there and I am going to do whatever I can to assist him. It is rare to find gay men such as he and I am glad that he is here @ this point in time.


Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.

Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post,which explains The Award.

Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!

Wednesday, 26 November 2008


So I was talking with my ex boss the other day and as usual she was expressing her joy about me finding employment; and it is @ this time she said to me NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT MY SEXUALITY. Now I get why she said this to me because when I was working with her, both she and my supervisor knew that I am gay. However, she seems to forget that I NEVER told any of them, she knew because she has a best friend that is gay and we know of each other.
Nonetheless, I find this thing about sexuality SO interesting. Moreover, I find it STRANGE that there are persons SO interested in what I do sexually. Though I don’t dread my sexuality, I don’t feel a need to come out over AND over AGAIN! The thing about COMING OUT…AGAIN and to whom is one of the most pivotal AND personal decisions one will ever make. It's the first step in building relationships with family and friends that are based on honesty and openness, instead of the stressful and never-ending need to hide.
I find that BEING IN THE CLOSET is just that; it is a place of ISOLATION that has it many draw backs. Though a gay person knows that s/he isn’t the only gay person in the world, it is STILL a dangerous thing to let someone know about your sexuality. Though I am technically IN the closet, I am SURE that my shoes are peaking out. I guess it is like they say WITH AGE COMES…so this time I will NOT be dragged out like I was when I was 20. When I think about that time, I thank God that I found who I was and stayed strong in that because something like this can DEFINITELY break person. Even though I now live with the zeal AND enormous relief that I no longer have to suppress my sexual identity, I rather NOT discuss it with persons that can’t appreciate it. And when I say appreciate it, I mean learn to leave well enough alone…

Tuesday, 25 November 2008


  1. STOP LETTING YOUR APPEARANCE BE AN EXCUSE TO HIDE…Have you ever seen a nice gentleman exchange contact with someone you wouldn’t give the time of day? That’s because the art of seduction has a lot more to do with social skills than with naked physical attraction. It’s not 30 pounds you need to lose to pick up more men—it’s your inner fears.
  2. APPROACH A LOT OF MEN…To get started in the pick-up game, you need to go where men are and learn to approach them. And not just one or two guys, but many guys. If you can’t strike up a conversation, you don’t have a chance to pick up and eventually seduce someone you’re attracted to.
  3. DON’T HESITATE…Nothing conveys indecision and nervousness like hesitation. Indecision and nervousness are not attractive traits. So practice the three-second rule: train yourself to approach your target within three seconds of seeing him.
  4. LEARN SOME APPROACHES…An approach is an excuse— any excuse— to start a conversation with someone: HOW DO I GET TO THE CAFÉ FROM HERE? Or THERE’S SOME LINT ON YOUR COLLAR. However the easiest of all approaches is simply to smile and say HI. Forget the cheesy pick lines, they’re phony, convey too much sexual interest, and leave you no place to take the conversation.
  5. HAVE AN OPENER…Once you've exchanged a few words develop openers or standard conversational ploys that will attract your target. Try something startling: THAT WASN’T YOUR CAR ON FIRE IN THE PARKING LOT. WAS IT? DID YOU SEE THOSE TWO GUYS FIGHTING OUTSIDE? Or get an opinion: HEY, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? OR THIS GUY I KNOW…Develop your opener into a little routine by adding vivid details and get your target involved and keep him engaged until he gives signs of starting to relax.
  6. LEARN DISINTERESTED INTEREST…Keep him off balance when he suspects you’re trying to pick him up. This allows time for his attraction to develop. Keep talking in a friendly way while pretending you’re not really that interested sexually.
  7. DON’T COMPLIMENT HIM…Since compliments like I LOVE YOUR SMILE give away your attraction; throw them in the dust bin with the pick-up lines. Instead, learn to neg. Negging is the art of giving a half-compliment, setting up a dissonance in your pick-up target. Examples: I LOVE YOUR SMILE, ARE YOU WEARING BRACES? THAT’S A NICE SHIRT; DID YOU GET IT @ SO & SO? The neg should always sound friendly AND positive and only subliminally be insulting. Negs excite your subject by sending contradictory signals spinning in his brain and creating excitement he will be intrigued to resolve.
  8. DEMONSTRATE YOUR SOCIAL VALUE…When you meet a guy, don’t stop talking, just stop talking aimlessly. Learn to be funny and entertaining and cast yourself in a positive light in the stories you tell. TELL HIM ABOUT THE TIME CHASED AWAY A SNAKE or HOW GREAT YOUR NEW GYM ROUTINE IS MAKING YOU FEEL. Please make sure that you talk about ex-boyfriends OR hang a friend around your shoulder to demonstrate that others think you’re attractive. In other words, give him enough ammunition to justify an attracted toward you. Once an attraction develops, you’ll see the signals in his eyes and body language.
  9. TOUCH…Without touching there is no sex. To get the ball rolling, touch early and often. Make sure your touches are sensual and motivating, not crude sexual pawing. Examine his cool wristwatch. Flatten his mussed-up collar. Read his palm. Your fleeting touches will leave him begging for more.
  10. ISOLATE, MOVE & DEVELOP RAPPORT…@ some point you hope to have this man in your life. So to accelerate the process you need to lead him to a neutral location away from his friends. Continue developing rapport and interest. Invite him to a quiet corner of the bar, outside for a breath of air or to a nearby eatery. Then take it from there.

Monday, 24 November 2008


  1. Separate sex from love. 
  2. You don't need to have anything in common. The ability and/or desire to converse with each other is only necessary if one party requires that as foreplay.  
  3. Both parties must be either single or in open relationships.
  4. Exes you are currently friends with make ideal booty call partners. However, if one party broke the other's heart, pursuing a booty-call arrangement is a no-no (at least for 24 hours).  
  5. Unless otherwise agreed upon, after midnight on a school night is too late to call. On weekends, all calls should be made at least five minutes before closing time. 
  6. If you don't want an overnight guest, then make the booty call before sundown. After the sun sets, you've got to resign yourself to the possibility of entertaining all night long--unless you have express rules to the contrary, it is the only polite thing to do. 
  7. It's best to store your booty call's number in your phone and NOT memorize it, should you someday wish to delete the number (and the person) from your sex life.  
  8. Booty calls are best made via caller-ID-friendly devices. That way, the receiver can decide whether or not to take the call. If the receiver is not prepared to say yes, he or she should not pick up lest the answer offend or embarrass the caller.  
  9. Whenever possible, opt for text messaging a booty call request -- it's the most civilized (i.e. safest, i.e. cowardly) form of booty call communication.  
  10. Though it's understood that most booty calls are made after hours, the world would do well to remember that calls may also be made sober and in the light of day. 
  11. Ideally, booty callers should alternate who calls whom so that mutual interest is constantly re-established. If you have been the initiator more than three times without reciprocation, it is safe to assume they'd almost rather do anything rather than have sex with you. 
  12. You probably shouldn't draw on one booty source more than once a week. Two weeks is ideal. More often and you risk drifting into a common-law relationship. 
  13. It’s okay to be tipsy, but if you are stumbling drunk and unable to perform the basic duties of the booty call, don't make the call in the first place. It's is the height of rudeness to call if there is ANY chance you may vomit on or near your booty call. 
  14. Both parties should be armed with condoms and dental dams at all times. 
  15. Don't leave personal items behind. 
  16. Faking is a no-no (that is reserved for the most dysfunctional relationships and miserable one-night stands). Each party deserves at least one real one. 
  17. If you're not having fun, then by definition, it isn't a proper booty call. 
  18. Never call a fuck buddy just to say hi. 
  19. If your booty call is in the same social circle, and your are out together in a group, then either go home together or go home alone. 
  20. Just because the sex is casual doesn't make it an appropriate topic for casual conversation. Be discreet.  
  21. Assume that you are not the only booty call in your partner's rotation. If this is not cool with you, then you must communicate your desire for casual yet monogamous sex and then negotiate from there.  
  22. Don't assume that duration implies relationship progression.  
  23. You should always be honest about where this is going, other booty call partners you may have, sexual health history, etc., but keep unsolicited details about your other partners and sexual experiences to yourself.  
  24. The above rules may be amended at any time if both parties are in explicit agreement.  
  25. No matter how casual the set-up, remember that your booty buddy is a human being, and not a fucking machine. If you can't play well with others, get yourself a sex toy. This final rule may not be amended and trumps all others at all times.

Sunday, 23 November 2008


IS BEING GOOD MORE IMPORTANT THAN BEING HAPPY? IS RELIGION THE DOORWAY TO A LIFE OF HAPPINESS WITH GOD & HIS ANGELS? & IF SO, ARE THERE CERTAIN STANDARDS THAT WE MUST MEET IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE THIS? For all of us, life is full of uncertainties AND difficulties, and it ends in death; and EVERY religion claims to be the ONE that can provide certain rewards to us for being good. As a child I used to wonder why we do church RELIGIOUS every Sunday? I mean we go non-stop to achieve what? It seems that OUR GREATEST FEAR is that if we don’t participate in this ritual that somehow we would end in place that is NOT friendly OR good (talk about allowing hope to override the intellect). It is a SAFE bet to say that I am NOT religious NOR do I participate in ORGANIZE RELIGION. GUESS YOU CAN SAY THAT I AM HEATHEN…one of those persons that isn’t a follower. However, being who I am, I realized that criticizing religion isn’t enough. I needed to understand why religion becomes an integral part of a person's life and it doesn't cease to be so when it can cause HATRED, IGNORANCE and MISUNDERSTANDINGS. It is a known FACT that NO religion ACCEPTS us as the person we know ourselves to be. Rather, we are told that we are INADEQUATE, UNSATISFACTORY and HELPLESS. It is MY feeling that those who feel this way also construct a fantasy about how they are SUPERIOR to those who do NOT share this view. I thank God that I am NOT one those persons that is living life without really being present. HOW COULD I DO MYSELF SUCH AN INJUSTICE? The crazy thing is that they KNOW the TRUTH yet they act as if they are somewhat caught up in a trans. The other day I was chatting with this GAY pastor (go figure…right?), and he told me that he feels so betrayed on both end of the spectrum when does the ANTI-GAY sermon because he knows that he does NOT fully believe what he is saying. In return he told me that it almost seem as if the congregation is waiting for him to hit this topic with vigor AND disgust that it seems to me that we have a situation of ignorance feeding ignorance. This CLEARLY a situation where society has become SO use to the words used that they are NOT hearing them anymore. I guess it is TOO much to listen with innocence AND ask questions when it is SO obvious that something is rotten within the confines of the church…SO CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHEN IS THE DAY GONNA COME WHEN WE STOP CONSULTING THE GREAT BOOK OF FAIRY TALES (the bible) & DO AWAY WITH RELIGIOUS BIGOTRY? IT IS OBVIOUS THAT THEY ARE EASILY MISSING THE FUTURE BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO BUSY BEING STUCK…SO HOW CAN WE CHANGE THIS? BETTER YET IS IT POSSIBLE? I THINK SO & I BELIEVE THAT THE FIRST STEP IS TO PRAY WITH (NOT FOR) EACH OTHER. THIS WILL GET THOSE THAT ARE HURTING RELIGIOUSLY TO FACE THE CHALLENGES FAR GREATER THAN THEMSELVES…WE NEED TO LOVE & TRULY TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER. AFTER ALL WE ARE ALL CHILDREN OF GOD: CREATED BY LOVE, IN LOVE, WITH LOVE & FOR LOVE…SO UNTIL WE SEE OURSELVES WITHOUT SELF-PITY, WE WON’T HAVE A FEELING THAT WE ARE @ A PLACE WHERE GOD TRULY EXISTS…& THAT’S A FACT!

Saturday, 22 November 2008


SWV, also known as SISTERS WITH VOICES, is an American Grammy-award nominated female R&B/Pop trio from New York. Formed in 1990, SWV had a series of hits. WEAK is an R&B ballad recorded for their debut album, It's About Time (1992). It was written and produced by Brian Alexander Morgan, who composed the lyrics based upon his feelings towards R&B singer Chanté Moore. The song was released as the third single from SWV 's album, following the top ten success of I'M SO INTO YOU. WEAK hit number one on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 in July 1993 for two weeks, and is one of SWV's biggest U.S. chart-toppers. It also topped the Hot R&B Songs for two weeks. THIS SONG IS SWEET & TOUCHING THAT I COULDN’T PASS UP THE CHANCE OF POSTING IT ON MY BLOG…HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY AS MUCH I DO.

Friday, 21 November 2008


As an intelligent light skinned man I am so embarrassed to even think of the ignorance of comparing our skin color. Call it a GROSS ignorance on my part, but it seems like discussions of race often focus on how life differs for people who aren't white from those who are. I guess you can say that I was COLORBLIND because I have this weird notion that we as people were JUDGED on merit INSTEAD of skin color. However my current place of employment proves that I am DEAD wrong. Last week proved that I couldn’t ignore the 10,000 pound elephant sitting in the room because I saw first hand what racism is. The managers @ my current place of employment are white…THEY HAVE THE BEST OF EVERYTHING…INSURANCE COVERAGE, BETTER PAY…PERKS, you name they have it. I guess it is NO surprise that my co-workers and I are living from paycheck to paycheck trying to make a dime out of a nickel while being slaves @ this modern day plantation. So I guess with that said I shouldn’t be surprised that management feels that either my co-worker or I stole THIRTY dollars from the company’s deposit. She wrote it up, I checked it over and it was fine. However the bank called saying that it was not and of course we were practically grilled about that for about a week. I mean THIRTY dollars cannot put gas in our cars, THIRTY dollars cannot buy anything of substance from the grocery store…THIRTY dollars can’t do much of anything. Yet there is this thing in the air that we must taken the money because it isn’t there. I know if it were one of their white counterparts they wouldn’t even discuss this to this extent (no wonder they steal millions from each other). But whatever, if I were to steal I am going down for REAL dough. My name AND reputation means more to me than anything else. I know that they feel threatened by the likes of my co-worker and me because we know our REAL history; we know what was taught to us from the white man and how he feels that because he smiles @ us and pretend to care about how we spend time after working hours that we buy his bullshit. SORRY HE HAS TO TRY SOME OTHER NEGRO! I JUST WONDER IF IT TOO LATE TO HELP THE ONES THAT WORKED THERE FOR SO MANY YEARS ON END? THEY’VE WORKED WITHOUT RAISES OR BONUSES…I GUESS IT LIKE MY EX-BOSS USE TO SAY, I DON’T SEE WHY MY STAFF MAKES NOISE ABOUT NOT GETTING RAISES WHEN HE HAS TO PAY THE EXACT AMOUNT THEY PAY FOR THE PRICE OF BREAD. I ALWAYS FIND THAT FUNNY BECAUSE HE LEAVES THE STORE WITH CHANGE & LOADS OF BUTTER FOR THAT BREAD WHILE WE BARELY AFFORDED THE DAMN BREAD…BUT WHAT DO I KNOW? I KNOW THAT THE GAP AS FAR AS EDUCATION IS CONCERNED IS SLOWLY BUT SURELY CLOSING. THE PRIVILEGE WITH THEIR FAKE SMILES & SEPARATISTS ATTITUDE ARE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD; & THOUGH I MAYBE CONSIDER A LOWER CLASS BY DEFAULT DUE TO THE COLOR OF MY SKIN; BUT TO ENTERTAIN THE NOTION THAT MY CO-WORKER OR COULD/WOULD STEAL THIRTY DOLLARS FROM A COMPANY THAT HAS NO SYSTEM IN PLACE IS CRAZY. I MEAN WHY STEAL THIRTY DOLLARS WHEN THE PRODUCT IS RIPE FOR THE TAKING? I GUESS IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT WHEN BLACK N’ WHITE MIX THE GREY AREAS GET ALL F&CKED UP!

Thursday, 20 November 2008


So yesterday I was wondering what makes someone become a B!TCH? I am thinking that we were all born with a certain set of compassion AND understand for each other; yet somewhere along the way we somehow loose that. How does this happen? These questions brings me to the INTERESTING DAY I HAD @ WORK YESTERDAY. I’ve been working for a month now and I am trying to grasp the ANTIQUATED, NON-PRODUCTIVE and F&CKED UP system the company has going on. First and foremost there is NO job description so EVERYONE is pretty much just doing whatever and I get that there is NO real sense of direction in this place (sadly this is the state of 99% of the businesses here in the Bahamas). So after getting the tasks done that my boss kept piling on me (whose job I can do with relative ease by the way), I noticed this fax on my desk. I took it to her knowing full well that she was going to have a Chinese baby right in front of me (she had two by the way) and they were both breached. So there was a problem with a shipment and the company was letting us know that we were past our credit line and that though the items weren’t due for payment we needed to make a payment. Now me in my INFINITE wisdom, I asked her well how do you handle this stuff? She looked me dead in the eye (which later she explained that she looked @ me funny because she had a stiff neck) and told me that this is my problem and that I need to take care of it. Now I am the kind of man that wears what he is thinking on his face (especially when shit is first spewed in my direction) so I know she saw that. The thing about this situation is that the general manager and director orders stuff like there is a fire sale and don’t inform us in accounts of what they are doing. However, I am supposed to know what they are doing even when they don’t know? So as my boss was carrying on I tried my hardest to choose words that were diplomatic while getting my point across (and she got the message loud and clear). I kept thinking if I didn’t need this job LORD KNOWS! I couldn’t wait for my lunch to come and when it did I came home to get a change of scenery and clear my head. It was then I remembered that my horoscope had said that there will be conflict for the first half of my day, I don’t pay attention to that stuff but I thought to myself that they maybe onto something…Nonetheless, after my lunch my boss called me into her office and told me that she just wants me to understand how important things are and if something goes wrong heads will roll. I just stared @ her and said that I DON’T NEED YOU TO SPEAK TO ME IN THE WAY YOU DID BECAUSE I AM LEARNING HOW DO THINGS HERE (WHICH IS SO F&CKED UP!) OF COURSE YOU KNOW I DIDN’T WORK FOR THE REST OF THE DAY & ANY FEELING OF GOODWILL THAT I FELT TOWARDS THE COMPANY HAS BEEN KILLED. SHE LOVES STAYING BEHIND WORKING LATE, TRYING TO GET ME TO STAY…BUT YESTERDAY MY ASS WAS GONE BY 5:30 WHICH THE TIME I LEAVE THAT PLACE…BUT I AM GLAD THAT SHE WAS A B!TCH BECAUSE IT MADE ME SEE THAT I DON’T WANT TO MAKE A LIFE HERE WITH NOEL IN THE BAHAMAS & I REALIZED THAT I HAVE JUST HAVE A JOB THAT DOESN’T OFFER ANY BENEFITS, NO MEDICAL, THAT MAKES ME WORK 8 HOURS A DAY THAT INCLUDES A LUNCH HOUR WHICH THEY DON’T PAY ME FOR…YEAH @ $400.00 A WEEK I LOVE DEALING WITH A B!TCH THAT MAKES $1,200.00 A WEEK THAT CAN MORE THAN MAKE MY ENDS MEET…AIN’T WORKING WITH A B!TCH JUST A JOY?

Wednesday, 19 November 2008


About a week ago I saw an ex manager of mine; this particular manager I wrote about in a previous blog entry. So imagine my surprise when I heard a voice call my name and say IF I AM OKAY & HOW COME I DIDN’T ACKNOWLEDGE MY BOY (his lingo NOT mine). Now I let that pass because I thought HEY, HE MUST HAVE BEEN PLAYING A JOKE OR SOMETHING because he had seen me before and we didn’t say ONE word to each other. So now yesterday I am on my way to work, I hear this car horn trying to get my attention and can you guess who it was? YEP HIM! I am like WTF? So I started looking around for the cameras because I know I am about to get PUNKED! With no luck finding the cameras I made my way to work trying to figure out what the hell was up with him. Was he trying to make amends for the way he treated me more than 10 years ago? Was he sorry for firing my ass because I am gay? All I know is that let go that shit years ago (LORD knows it took me a while) but I did it AND here I am…Yet I wonder what series of events lead him to exchange pleasantries with me? Is because his son is gay? Could it be that he has seen the error of his ways? Or could he himself be gay? Whatever his modus operandi I know that I must stay afloat amidst the spin…I am all about forgiveness and stuff like that but I can’t help but sense the NEGATIVITY in his words AND actions. I guess it’s like they say WE ALL RADIATE ENERGY & I DON’T NEED HIS TO BE MESSED UP WITH MINE and though I will wrap myself up in a cocoon of loving AND protective light; I will face the dark when it comes my way. @ the end of it all, I know that he ONLY be who he is and I have to ACCEPT that each of us is allowed to have different perspectives AND opinions…even if it is about MY sexuality…SO WHILE I REAP THE BENEFITS OF WALKING THIS PATH, I HAVE A FEELING THAT HE CAN SEE THAT HOW HE ACTED TOWARDS ME IN THE PAST DID NOT BREAK ME. I FREED MYSELF FROM TRYING TO TWIST INTO SHAPES THAT’LL FIT THE SPACES HE NEEDS FILLED & I KNOW THAT I AM A BETTER MAN FOR IT.

Tuesday, 18 November 2008


When I am close friends with someone, I intuitively know when they need a hug, a helping hand, or a sympathetic ear. Likewise, when I am going through bleak periods in my life, I count on friends to support me through LOSS, HEART ACHE and OTHER SETBACKS, both big AND small. And while part of being a good friend means being there when the other person needs me, I find that is JUST as important for them to be there for me. After all, who else would my friends want to celebrate their PROMOTIONS, GRADUATIONS, MARRIAGES and GOOD NEWS with? As of late I have found myself NOT wanting to be there for my friends because our relationship is NOT equal. They’ve become SO busy with their own lives that they can’t simply make the time to pick a phone to call and say, I AM JUST CALLING BECAUSE…How can people get SO fixated on their happiness that they forget who was there when they were sad? I know that being a GOOD friend is more than me being there for my friends during the bad times, I know that there is SO much more…@ least I am on the right track…LIFE IS EMPTY WITHOUT SOMEONE TO SHARE IT WITH, & I AM OF THE OPINION THAT IF YOU CAN’T COUNT ON FRIENDS THEN WHO CAN YOU COUNT ON? AFTER ALL, IT IS THE PEOPLE WE CHERISH THAT WE WANT AROUND US TO SING @ OUR EARTH~DAYS, VISIT OUR NEWBORN BABIES & RAISE A GLASS TO TOAST EACH MILESTONE. I FIND IT INTERESTING THAT IS THE FIRST CHRISTMAS THAT I WON’T BE HOSTING ANY EVENTS FOR MY FRIENDS. FOR SOME ODD REASON I DON’T THINK THEY HONOR THE ENERGY THAT IS BEING CREATED DURING SUCH A JOYOUS TIME OF THE YEAR. WE ARE SUPPOSED TO CELEBRATE EACH OTHER, RELISH IN OUR HAPPINESS & ENRICH OUR FRIENDSHIPS…I GUESS THAT IS ALL WISHFUL THINKING…TOO BAD I AM JUST A FAIR WEATHER FRIEND…

Monday, 17 November 2008


MAYBE…we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

MAYBE…when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

MAYBE…it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

MAYBE…the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

MAYBE…the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

MAYBE…you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

MAYBE…there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

MAYBE…the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

MAYBE…you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

MAYBE…you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

MAYBE…giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

MAYBE…happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

MAYBE…you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

MAYBE…you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy

MAYBE…you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

Sunday, 16 November 2008


Wasn’t there a time when the world was a safe place? Can you remember what it was like to have day that is SUNNY and CLEAN WITHOUT A CLOUD IN SIGHT? EVERYDAY you turn on the news you hear of bad things happening to someone out there. So many of us aren’t BOUNCING ALONG, LIGHT IN SPIRIT, FREE FROM WORRIES and ENJOYING THE MOMENTS AS THEY PASS BY. Dear Lord I know that the DARK days are just as much a part of life as are the days you GRACED with sunshine; and I don’t mean to put questions towards you but I can’t help myself. See my FAMILY, FRIENDS, BROTHERS and SISTERS are HURTING. Things are getting worst by the second, our faith is waning and I know that you are just showing us a DIFFERENT perspective of our world but…They say a rainy day helps to clear the air, washing away stagnation; but what do we do when stagnation bleed our hearts N’ souls? It is SO hard to NOT to feel doom N’ gloom OR feel afraid when the dark clouds are hovering over us. As of late the roller coaster ride of life has been filled with a lot LOWS, TWISTS and TURNS. Even for someone like myself who enjoy the occasional thrill find it a bit frightening to suddenly find the world heading for a deep plunge…I guess all we can do is EMBRACE the unpredictability that is due to come our way AND pray for the best. I know that the KEY is accept what is happening AND let go of our ORIGINAL expectations but times are HARD…I GET THAT WE FEEL ASLEEP @ THE WHEEL & GOT IT STUCK IN OUR HEADS THAT LIFE SHOULD GO ACCORDING TO OUR PLANS BUT…I CAN’T HELP BUT THINK ABOUT ALL THE MEN, WOMEN & CHILDREN THAT WILL BE HURT BECAUSE OF THE STATE OF THE WORLD…I GET THAT THE CHAOS IN THE WORLD IS A GIFT IN & OF ITSELF & I AM SURE THAT THE NEXT TIME A CURVE BALL COMES OUR WAY, WE’LL TAKE A DEEP BREATHE, SAY THANK YOU & OPEN MIND N’ HEART TO THE OPPORTUNITY TO GO BACK TO THE BASIC WAY OF LIVING…BUT UNTIL THAT TIME COMES, CAN YOU LET ME KNOW WHEN?


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