OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: ¿FREE WILL/PREDESTINATION?

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THIS BLOG ENTRY IS ABOUT HOW I THINK EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE, THE SEEN & UNSEEN,IS COMPLETELY SUBJECT TO THE OVERRIDING POWER OF ‘GOD’. I FEEL THAT WE SHOULD NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT IS PREDESTINED OR WILLFUL ON OUR BEHALF FOR WE CAN NEVER KNOW IT. ALL WE CAN STRIVE FOR IS TO BE THE BEST IN THIS WORLD SO THAT WE CAN MAKE A CLEAN TRANSITION IN THE NEXT…AS FOR THE QUESTION OF WHETHER WE ARE PREDESTINED OR FATED FOR CERTAIN OUTCOME IN LIFE, WE MUST REMEMBER THAT TIME& SPACE ARE TRANSCENDENT HENCE THE PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE IS &ALWAYS WILL BE MYSTERY.

I believe that human beings exercise free will, but that our destiny is mapped out already. Is this a contradiction you may ask yourself? However, for as long as I can remember, I have discussed this topic and pondered if we have FREE WILL or are our lives PREDESTINED. I have tried to understand why humans make the choices they make because I am of the opinion that we do NOT have FREE WILL in a practical sense. Hence, what we have is REALLY a choice, which may OR may not be a free one at any given time. Let me explain.

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: ¿IS THERE A DIFFERENCE?

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THIS BLOG ENTRY WAS ABOUT THE WAY SOCIETY BURY THEIR COLLECTIVE HEADS IN THE SAND & SAY BECAUSE I DON’T SUBSCRIBE TO ORGANIZE RELIGION THAT GOD WILL HAVE NO PART OF ME @ ALL. & AS I READ THIS ENTRY, I'VE TO SEE THAT MY BELIEF IN GOD IS MORE SPIRITUAL & NOT RELIGIOUS. I AM SURE THAT GOD SEES THAT I CONNECT WITH MY BROTHERS & SISTERS ON THIS PLANET IN WAYS HE WOULD APPROVE. IT IS MY PERSONAL VIEW THAT MANY OF SOCIETY’S RELIGIOUS FOLKS ARE MERELY TRYING TO KEEP UP APPEARANCES, BECAUSE DEEP DOWN THEY KNOW THEY CAN’T SUSTAIN A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD ON ANY LEVEL. ISN'T IT STRANGE THAT I AM NOT A RELIGIOUS BEING, YET I AM MORE LIKELY TO SEE GOD’S FACE THAN THOSE WHO THINK THEY ARE IN HEAVEN ALREADY?

I have a question that has been nagging @ me for quite some time. This question is one that I feel can make one @ times feel a bit overwhelm by its presence, yet most of us do nothing about it. And it seems as if each day presented greater challenges than the day before. So here’s my question: CAN ANYONE TELL IF THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BELIEVING IN GOD & HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM?

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: THE PRAYING "SISSY"

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I WRITE THIS ENTRY IN REFLECTION OF YEARS PASS WHEN I WAS TOLD THAT IT WAS SENSELESS FOR ME TO PRAY BECAUSE DOES NOT ANSWER A SISSY’S PRAYER. I WAS ABOUT 20 YEARS & BEING TOLD IT WAS A WASTE OF TIME FOR ME TO PRAY BECAUSE MY PRAYERS DON’T GO BEYOND THE CEILING AFFECTED ME. MOREOVER I NOT ONLY BELIEVE IT, I LIVED, BUT THAT WAS THEN& THIS IS NOW. & THOUGH I HAVE THE TRADITIONAL VIEW OF THE CREATOR, I HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITH THE DIVINE ON A DAILY.

I have come to realize that for far too long I have allowed others to determine my salvation; for way too long I have allowed others to me feel as if I was not worthy. As I aged I soon realized that GOD isn't the way people try to make him out to be AND the opinions that were expressed to say otherwise are just that…OPINIONS! I KNOW THAT GOD IS LOVE & LOVE CAN’T BE CAPTURED OR ENSLAVED IN THE WORDS OF A BOOK, NOT EVEN THE BIBLE! 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: HEAVEN 4 ALL

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THE WAY I SEEIT I & ALL OF MY GAY BROTHERS & SISTER ARE HEAVEN BOUND!GOD KNOWS OUR HEART & THE BIBLE SAYS THAT NO SIN IS BIGGER THAN THE OTHER,SO…NO LONGER WILL THE PERILS OF SOCIETAL EXISTENCE KEEP ME FROM MY RIGHTFULPLACE IN HEAVEN! ONLY WHEN TRUE ACCEPTANCE EXISTS ON THIS PLANET, THEN I YOU& WE CAN STOP BLEEDING THIS WORLD DRY. THIS HISTORICAL FIGHT SHOULD HAVEBEEN FORGOTTEN IN THE BATTLE FIELD OF LIFE; INSTEAD WE ARE FLOATING IN BETWEENTHE BETWEEN…IN THE PLACE WHERE ALL MEMORY EVENTUALLY LIVE IN THE ENDLESSUNWRITTEN BOOK. SO I EMPLORE ALL GAY PEOPLE TO BELIEVE, IT IS TIME FOR US, YOU& ME TO SAY IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO BE FULL OF LIFE’S PLAY!

For some STRANGE reason today I felt it was VITATLLY important to put a message out there that provided the comforting oasis in a chaotic world. This message I want to resonate with EVERYONE; be it GAY or STRAIGHT…TODAY I AM ALL ABOUT SALVATION & BELIEVING THAT HEAVEN IS 4 ALL OF US NO MATTER WHAT OUR SEXUALITY MAY BE. 

This entry is for the SOLE purpose of combating the others that came before it that does NOT lift OR strengthen US as people. We are beaten up by persons that who are NO more powerful OR holy than we are in the name of the LORD and it MUST cease! For some reason, I do NOT believe that GOD intended for his word to be used in the way in which it is. However, there is the belief that there is only ONE truth and that one group is in possession of it. This notion is the DEEPEST root of ALL evil that exists in this world.

The church has FAILED YOU & US; yet we continue to carry on as if it didn’t. HOW CAN THE PLACE THAT CONSIDERS ITSELF THE EMBODIMENT OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE BE THE TOTAL OPPOSITE OF WHAT IT STANDS FOR? I am of the opinion that heaven is so big that it can house everyone you meet AND it is meant for all. I wonder why is that the rest of the society can live how they please AND still see GOD’S face. Why is that we are seen as the ones that will go the forbidden kingdom? Anyone with common sense should be able to deduce that one does NOT choose his OR her sexuality yet there is the general consensus that we. Thus our place in heaven is but a dream…As far as I see it, HELL is an idea created by the ego of man that says that WE are NOT worthy of LOVE. 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: ¿R U THY GAY BROTHER'S KEEPER?

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OUR SEXUALITY IS A GIFT FROM THE CREATOR & IS MEANT TO BE HONORED WITHOUT HATRED N’ DISGUST. I READ SOMEWHERE THAT IT IS SAID THAT WE ARE THREE-PART BEINGS & MOST OF PEOPLE EXPERIENCE THEMSELVES AS A BODY. I AM OF THE OPINION THAT WE GAYMEN ARE MORE THAN THAT & THEY KNOW IT! SO I EXTEND AN INVITATION FOR SOCIETY TO RAISE THEIR ENERGY & LIFE FORCE TO THE HIGHEST LEVEL POSSIBLE. OUR SEXUALITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX, IT HAS TO DO WITH RAISING OUR CONSCIOUSNESS ABOUT WHO WE ARE & WHAT OUR PLACE IS IN THIS WORLD. I FEEL THAT IT WILLSERVE US RIGHT TO RECOGNIZE THAT SEXUALITY IS A GIFT TO CELEBRATE & THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US N’ THEM IS BUT A THIN LINE…

What is human freedom? Many may be forgiven for imagining that freedom involves being able to act and think as they wish, but some disagree. Some seem to believe that human freedom can only exist when one submits to some authority which tells them how to act AND think. So when a MAN like me takes it upon himself to defy this “AUTHORITY” AND bring the INCREDIBLE experience of HIS sexuality to them, I know that I STRIKE @ THE CORE OF THIS AUTHORITY! 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: GOD'S LIGHT

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THIS BLOG ENTRY CAME TO AFTER SOMEONE TOLD ME THEY FELT THAT I WAS AN OFFSPRING/ DESCENDANT FROM A TIME WHEN ANGLES CAME TO EARTH & CREATED LIFE WITH HUMANS. NOW I AM NOT INTO THE BIBLE, BUT IT DID GET THINKING ABOUT THE LIGHT HE SAW IN ME. FROM THAT MOMENT ON, I HOPE THAT WITH MY LIGHT THAT OTHERS CAN RELEASE THEMSELVES FROM ANY PRESSURE TO PERFORM OUTSIDE OF THEIR INNER SENSE OF PURPOSE WHEN ITCAME TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH ME. I HOPE THAT BY SEEING THE HUMANITY OFANOTHER, IT WOULD HELP THEM STAY IN TUNE WITH THEIR LIVES. I CAN HOPE THAT MY LIGHT IS MORETHAN ENOUGH…

A man once told me that I am one of GOD’s LIGHT source and as a LIGHT source I have here to heal AND restore. As I pondered this notion I have come to realize that he was right…I FEEL THE ENERGY, A SYNERGY BETWEEN ME & ALL ENTITY and as a LIGHT source I feel that I am here accomplish something BIGGER than me. I remember when I used feel incomplete AND empty until I realized that there was NOTHING big required of me, I was MORE than enough. HOW COULD I NOT BE? 

As I live my life in this world, I share my energy AND spirit with those around me in numerous ways. My LIGHT touches their lives and, through them, touches the lives of many more people. I strive to live my live to the fullest and be TRUE to myself. I do NOT believe that I am here to make headlines OR single-handedly save the world in order to validate my existence…MY LIFE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH…I am just here to teach others to look within their hearts AND discover what is true for them, what gives their lives meaning and what excites them. 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: HELL BOUND...

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IF WE GAY MEN & WOMEN UP IN ‘HELL’FOR BEING GAY THEN I WILL BE THE FIRST TO SAY THAT I AM WRONG. IN THE MEAN TIME I AM URGING YOU TO THINK FOR YOURSELF, GET TO KNOW YOUR CREATOR ON A PERSONALLEVEL & DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE. NO SALVATION IS ABSOLUTE WE ALL HAVE TO FIND OUR WAY; WE JUST DO NOT NEED OTHERS POINTING THE DIRECTION OUTTO US BECAUSE THEY HAVE THEIR OWN MOTIVES. SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS NOT A LEARNED BEHAVIOR & WE WILL NOT GO TO HELL FOR IT! THEY SAY THAT THE CREATOR IS NOTFLAWED & IF THAT IS INDEED THE CASE, HOW DO THEY EXPLAIN HOW WE CAME TO BE? WE ALL CAME FROM THE SOURCE SO…WE HUMANS USE LOGIC & RATION TO JUSTIFY WHAT WE BELIEVE, ONE WOULD THINK THAT SINCE RELIGION TAKES US INTO THE REALM OF SPIRITUALITY THAT THEY WOULD KNOW THAT HOMOSEXUALITY DEFINITELY DEFIES EVERYTHING THAT WE KNOW & BELIEVE.

ARE GAY FOLKS HELL BOUND? I ask this question because far too many of us seem to think OR believe that who we are goes against some cardinal rule AND we carry on with lives that are predestined for the fire of HADES. SO many times we GAY people hear how we NEED to live our lives right AND get in accordance with GOD’S law. However, I am writing this entry to say that YES we ALL need to be in spiritual harmony, but NOT as others suggest we should.

Being a Christian means that an individual is on the path of being Christ like, now I get that this task is NOT an easy one…but that does NOT mean that those that feel they are on the path can use their RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION to cast judgment on those that they feel are SINNERS. I grew up in a household that went to church RELIGIOUSLY, now as a young boy I often wondered why church never took anytime off. As an adult I found out why; the sole purpose of church is to provide those that are seeking a place in which to foster a relationship with GOD. How weird is it that this RARELY happens?

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: ¿WHAT IS YOUR GOD CONNECTION?

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THIS BLOG ENTRY IS ABOUT HOW I HOPE THAT WE CAN  STOP HURTING & DOWNGRADING EACH OTHER (STRAIGHT & GAY ALIKE) & PLACE MORE EMPHASIS ON OUR SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT. WE ARE NOT WORTHLESS, WE ARE NOT A GROUP PEOPLE ‘GOD’ DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH & IT IS TIME THAT WE REDEFINE OUR HUMANITY& CONNECT TO A GREATER SPIRITUAL POWER OUTSIDE OF WHO WE ARE & THE REST OF THE WORLD.

I find that the CONNECTION that we have with GOD has been, and continues to be, the focus of COUNTLESS DEBATES, ARTICLES, and TELEVISION SHOWS and so on. There is without a doubt just as many opinions on what is wrong with OUR relationship with GOD as there are individuals with solutions to the problems. However, what are the inherent external factors that foster OUR disconnection from GOD? Though nothing is ever as simple as it seems, yet if WE focus on OUR overall complexity of life, WE can find some solutions that can make life easier.

For many of us dealing with RELIGION is very difficult to say the least. For HETEROSEXUALS it is easier to deny the pain than to acknowledge the suffering that HOMOSEXUALS endure in this world. Because of this, there are lingering anxieties in the hearts and minds of GAY men and women that PREVENTS us from having any sort of relationship with OUR ‘creator.’ If only WE allow the painful indignities that we suffer draw us closer to GOD; instead it does the opposite.

The reality is that in spite of the EDUCATIONAL, ECONOMIC and SOCIAL GAINS that we have made, SOCIETY still operates as an oppressive system that has been, and continues to be, responsible for keeping a large number of us TRAPPED in a place that forces us to believe that GOD does NOT care for us. It is my FIRM belief that there is a DIRECT correlation between our ability and inability to problem solve and our common experience of being GAY. In other words the oppressed is not entirely responsible for his OR her oppression. Nonetheless, I feel that WE need to take ourselves out of a certain mind frame AND take our rightful place in this world.

To each HIS/HER own, but I am of the opinion that GOD IS NOT SOME OMNIPOTENT FIGURE IN THE SKY THAT IS KEEPING SCORE & IS FORCING US TO ACHIEVE SALVATION THROUGH FEAR & TREMBLING. DO YOU THINK GOD REALLY WANTS US TO LIVE IN WORLD THAT HAS THE PROBLEMS THAT IT HAS? I SAY NO! We sit AND think that WE are sinners and GOD does NOT want anything to do with us, this is SO far from the truth. Why do WE hinder OUR relationship with GOD because of who we are? I find it heart breaking that we feel separate AND apart from OUR creator because of OUR inability to LOVE ourselves. I feel that LOGIC destroys what WE ought to believe, there is NO LOGIC when it comes to LIFE and the how it is lived. It amazes me that WE say WE believe in GOD, yet have such a HARD time with him.

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: ¿"DIBS" ON GOD?

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THIS BLOG ENTRY CAME ABOUTBECAUSE A SIGN THAT I SAW THAT READ ‘JUMPER BROTHER’S BAKERY & DELI’ &THIS SIGN BROUGHT SOMETHING OUT OF ME THAT I DIDN’T KNOW WAS THERE. THIS VERYSIMPLE SIGN HAS SHOWN ME THAT THE VERY POWERFUL RELIGIOUS FORCE HAS A SPECIALPRE-OCCUPATION THAT WILL TAKE NO PRISONERS. THEY OFTEN USE THE BIBLE AS THEIRJUSTIFICATION. THESE FANATICS ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS EVIL WE HAVE TODAY, THOUGHRELIGION GIVES US A MESSAGE OF ‘HOPE’ & A DESIRE TO LIVE IN A BETTER WORLD.HOWEVER THEY GET CONFUSED & CAN’T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE FORCESIN THIS WORLD THAT ARE BIGGER THAN RELIGION. SEEING THAT SIGN THE OTHER DAYMADE ME AWARE THAT CHRISTIANS HAVE LOST THEIR FAITH & DO NO OPERATE IN THEREALM OF GOD. THIS DISEASE NEEDS TO BE UPROOTED & ERADICATED FROM THEWORLD…I LOVE WHAT THE CHURCH STANDS FOR & WHAT IT REPRESENTS EVEN THOUGH IAM NOT RELIGIOUS I STILL HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. IT IS THROUGHTHIS RELATIONSHIP THAT I AM ABLE TO WRITE THIS ENTRY & AVOID THE MANYTRAPPINGS OF ORGANIZED RELIGION. SO MANY CHURCHES ARE MERE SOCIAL CLUBS THATLOSE THE MESSAGE IN ITSELF, IT GETS SO BOGGED DOWN WITH CONDEMNATION &SELF-AGGRANDIZEMENT THAT IT CANNOT HELP THOSE THAT THINK THAT THEY HAVE GOD’SINTEREST @ HEART. I GET THAT WE WERE ALL TAUGHT TO BELIEVE CERTAIN THINGS INTHE SUPER-RELIGIOUS HOMES IN WHICH WE WERE RAISED. HOWEVER, WE ARE ALL ADULTS,SUPPORTING OURSELVES, MAKING OUR OWN DECISIONS & LIVING. SO WHY DO WE NOTSUBSCRIBE TO OUR VIEW OF WHAT OF GOD IS? WHY DO WE NOT INVESTIGATE THOSE ON THEOPPOSITE END OF THE RELIGIOUS SPECTRUM? WHY DO WE NOT SEE THAT OUR WORLD IS TOODIVIDED & THIS DOES NOT HELP? THE CONTINUATION OF SEEKING SPIRITUAL HEALING@ THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS IS SICK & DISGUSTING & THIS BEHAVIOR ISDRIPPING IN SIN & CANNOT BE FOR OUR PSYCHOLOGICAL HEALTH & WELL-BEING…DAMN ALL THAT FROM A SIGN HUH? 

The other day I was driving in town minding my own business and my eyes happen to gaze upon a sign that read BROTHER SO & SO DELI. Now as I drove along my first thoughts were, WHY IS THAT THERE ARE CERTAIN PERSONS OUT THERE FEEL AS IF THEY HAVE DIBS ON GOD? Before I say anything else, please note that I AM ALL FOR PERSONS EXPRESSING THEIR LOVE FOR OUR CREATOR IN THE WAYS THEY FEEL. However, I feel that most if NOT all tend to think that they and they alone have DIBS on GOD and his blessings. Now there is NO need for me mince my words OR use polite euphemisms, so can someone tell me why do the OVERZEALOUS CHRISTIANS or what I commonly referred to as RELIGIOUS FANATICS believe that they are the ONLY ones God will bless?

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: HAVE YOU "COME IN" LATELY?

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WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU EXPLORED YOUR SEXUAL-IDENTITY & EXPRESSION? LIKECOMING OUT, COMING IN IS AN ONGOING PROCESS OF SELF-DISCOVERY. SOMEPEOPLE SKIP THIS PROCESS FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS THAT ARE NOT ALWAYS WITHIN THEIR CONTROL. LUCKILY, THERE IS NO EXPIRATION DATE TO COMING IN (OR OUT). THISBLOG ENTRY SIMPLY ASKS, ARE YOU OPEN TO THE CONTINUAL DISCOVERY OF YOUR LGBT-IDENTIFIED CONNECTIONS?

Most people are familiar with the term "coming out," where an individual begins disclosing his/her sexual identity and gender expression to others. But what does it mean to COME IN? COMING IN is the process of discovering ones self-identity and gender expression. Like coming out, coming in is an ongoing process and not a singular event. Discovering ones self-identity and gender expression can take time. According to medical site WebMD, "There is about a two-year period of time for many youth during which they self identify as non-heterosexual––but they tend to keep this information to themselves."

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: REAL MEN WEAR PINK...RIGHT?

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THISBLOG ENTRY IS ABOUT A FORMER CO-WORKER OF MINE THAT HAD A BIT OF AN ISSUE WITHA PINK SHIRT THAT I WORE. SHE HAD IN HER MIND THAT IF A MAN WEARS A PINK SHIRT HE HAS TO BE GAY & COULDN’T HELP BUT NOT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HER & HER THOUGHTS…

Yesterday I decided to wear a pink colored shirt to work and I QUICKLY learned how ignorant the human mind can be. My co-worker (God bless her heart) decided to ask me a personal question. And her question to me was why I would wear a PINK colored shirt? My response was because I can…she then said that she doesn’t think a man should wear a shirt this color and if he does then he more than likely is GAY. When she said that I laughed because her logic was SO off center; how sad is that this way of thinking exist in this world huh? PITY…Then she proceeded to question MY sexuality by asking if I am gay, to which I asked her if she was interested? To which she said that she wasn’t because she doesn’t date within the working environment (NOT because she is a married woman), but because she doesn’t believe in cooking AND taking a dump in the same place. I TOTALLY agree with her on that sentiment; however I can’t help think how an article of clothing would suggest that I am a HOMOSEXUAL? So does this mean that MASCULINITY ≠ A PINKSHIRT? 

This proved to me that in today’s society we are WAY TOO consumed with MASCULINITY. I thought that ONLY beauty was in the eye of the beholder, I didn’t know that article of clothing made its way in there as well? This belief, this notion is NOTHING more than a perception that has NO result in anything other than our frames of reference. Hence the ENTIRE GENTRIFICATION comes down to image and NOTHING else? When are we going to learn that masculinity AND femininity are nothing more than a facade? I might hesitate to agree that sometimes we gay men and women causes persons like her to make assumptions about gender. I guess @ the end of the day I can say that she has PERFECTLY characterized what masculinity isn’t…Her take on what a man is about would be funny it weren’t SO scary. This lady has a son AND GOD only knows what he’ll grow to be, I can only hope that he doesn’t try to wear a pink shirt because it is OBVIOUS that his mother is wounded because she thinks that masculinity is something that a man wears. 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: COMING OUT...AGAIN!

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WHEN IT COMES TO SEXUALITY, I OFTEN FIND THAT THE RISK ARE TOO GREAT & MOST PERSONS THATASK ARE NOT DOING TO ACCEPT OR UNDERSTAND YOU & THEY ARE ASKING TO FURTHERSUPPORT THEIR IGNORANCE. SO BEFORE I DECIDE TO REVEAL WHO I AM SEXUALLY, I KNOWTHAT IT IS ME THAT DRIVES THE DECISION TO LET ANYONE KNOW THIS SACRED THINGABOUT ME. SO BE IT YOUR 1st 2nd OR 100th TIME COMING MAKE SURE YOU SAFE GUARD THIS PRECIOUS GIFTBECAUSE THERE ARE TOO MANY PERSONS OUT THERE THAT WILL SEEK TO DESTROY IT…

So I was talking with my ex boss the other day and as usual she was expressing her joy about me finding employment; and it is @ this time she said to me NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT MY SEXUALITY. Now I get why she said this to me because when I was working with her, both she and my supervisor knew that I am gay. However, she seems to forget that I NEVER told any of them, she knew because she has a best friend that is gay and we know of each other.

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: BOYZ PLAY WITH BOYZ

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One of my highest values in life is FREEDOM. Many talk about this concept yet few realize it; and this has caused much pain AND suffering for quite a number of us. Most if not ALL of has had the chance to explore OUR sexuality @ the childhood phase. I can remember when I was a little boy playing with other boys AND REALLY, REALLY LOVING IT! I can remember playing COWBOYS N’ INDIANS and DELIBERATELY allowing my friends to capture me. I LOVED the feeling of being handle AND feeling my friend holding me FIRM against his body AND feeling his penis right on my curious behind. That was then, this is now; yet I can’t help but be amazed @ how FREE life seemed @ that time in mylife. I was being me and enjoying it…

NEVER in my wildest dreams did I think that I was GAY or that my playing with my male friends in that way was such a bad thing. Moreover I didn’t understand until now why I got punished for taking PLAY TIME even further. If only I could have been told that NOTHING was wrong with me by those in charge AND that sexuality is PERFECTLY natural…WISHFUL THINKING I SUPPOSE…They thought that they had caged the monster, but how long can you keep a beast in captivity before it turns on you?

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: ¿Y THE DOUBLE STANDARD?

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FIRST OFF I THINK I SHOULD HAVE TITLED THIS ENTRY: ¿Y THE DOUBLE STANDARD, REALLY? ISAY THAT BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW WHY HETERO-MEN GET ALL HOT UNDER THE COLLAR WITHABOUT GAY MEN & HOT IN THE PANTS FOR LESBIANS. NONETHELESS, THIS ENTRY WASSOMETHING THAT I NEEDED TO GET OUT OF ME; I WANTED TO SEE WHAT OTHERS THOUGHTOF THIS SUBJECT. HAS THINGS CHANGED? WHAT DO YOU THINK?

There are lots of ways men AND women differentiate from each other; men have penises AND women have vaginas. Some women have sex with each and some men LOVE the thought of being a part of that. Though I TOTALLY get this concept, it baffles me that the oppression AND persecution of HOMOSEXUALS continues; yet LESBIANS are seen as the ones that are ACCEPTED and GAY men are not. SO CAN ANYONE TELL Y THE DOUBLE STANDARD? DOES THIS MEAN THAT THE ‘SIN’ OF HOMOSEXUALITY IS MERELY A QUESTION OF TASTE? And this question embarrasses people NOT because they can’t imagine two WOMEN together SEXUALLY; but because they (HETEROSEXUAL MEN IN PARTICULAR) can and do. 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: BI-SEXUALITY...LET'S TALK

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Being HETEROSEXUAL is common throughout most of the world AND is considered the NORM. Thus, it is believe that HOMOSEXUALITY is the OPPOSITE of HETEROSEXUALITY. This notion within itself poses its own set of problems, so imagine what happens when one brings the BI-SEXUAL theory into the mix. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ANINDIVIDUAL IS NEITHER & BOTH @ THE SAME TIME?

It is incredible to me how OUR culture still ignores the full spectrum of SEXUAL ORIENTATION and lost in all of this confusion are the BI-SEXUALS. Bi-sexuality is an enigma unto itself and those of us that are not on both sides of the sexual divide tend to form an opinion that causes more harm than good. 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: LET'S TALK GENDER (JUST THOUGHT I'D SAY)

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WHAT ROLE DOES GENDER PLAY IN YOUR LIFE & HOW DOESIT AFFECT YOU? I ASKED THIS BACK THEN & I AM SURE THE RESPONSE ISN'T DIFFERENT TODAY. ISN'T IT AMAZING HOW SOMETHING SO INTERTWINED INTO THE VERY FIBER OF OUR BEING IS THE ONE THING WE TEND TO ABUSE & IGNORE?

While many people, whether HOMOSEXUAL, HETEROSEXUAL or BISEXUAL, aspire to intimate and sexual relations based on mutual love and emotional support I cannot help but wonder if GENDER plays a role in how AND who we LOVE. Both today, and throughout the whole process of life WE MEN and WOMEN will continue to challenge traditional views of GENDER ROLES, which reflect AND reinforce the oppression AND distorts the truth about who we are. The old traditional GENDER ROLES, which have existed for thousands of years, has been broken AND transformed. People will no longer have to put up with the ridiculous and unscientific notions that women who are aggressive, independent, and outspoken, or athletic are TOO MASCULINE; or that men who aspire to be creative, sensitive or nurturing are EFFEMINATE. These qualities in human beings should be appreciated and fostered between both sexes, and children growing up will not have to feel that they do not fit into gender definitions that are already archaic and objectively a hindrance to their development. 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: THE DIS~IDENTIFATION OF THE GAY MAN

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THERE IS SOMETHING CRUCIAL ABOUT GAY IDENTITY; &IRONICALLY, IT FAILS TO BE CAPTURED BY AN EXCLUSIVE FOCUS ON GAYIDENTITY…SOMETHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH WHAT MAKES A MAN GAY. I FEAR THAT THESTRONG SENSE OF URGENCY HAS BEEN UPON US FOR SOMETIME & TIME HAS RUN OUT.HOWEVER, IT IS NOT TOO TURN THE TIDE & GET GAY MEN WHERE THEY OUGHT TO BE.THOUGH THEY WON’T DO IT, SOCIETY NEEDS TO EDUCATE ITSELF ABOUT THE GAY MAN.INDIVIDUALS IN OUR SOCIETY CREATE MEANING & BELIEFS ABOUT THE GAY MAN THATARE TOTALLY UNFOUNDED. HOW DOES THIS BELIEF DEAL EFFECTIVELY & SUBJECTIVELY WITH THE GAY MAN? MOREOVER, HOW DOES IT HANDLE THE VARIOUS DIMENSIONS OF THEGAY MAN & SEXUALITY FOR THAT MATTER? JUST BECAUSE A MAN HAPPENS TO BE GAY,IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT HE KNOWS HOW TO TRULY BE ONE. HENCE, THE HINDRANCE THAT EXISTJUST MAKES IT HARD ON ALL OF US (GAY & STRAIGHT)…THEY NEED TO UNDERSTANDTHAT THE GAY MAN DOES EXIST & IF WE WANT TO UNDERSTAND THEMSELVES, THEY NEED TO ALLOW US TO UNDERSTAND OURSELVES FIRST & FOREMOST…

Is it NOT strange that almost as soon as WE learn how to be GAY, or perhaps even before, WE also learn how NOT to be GAY? What makes US look MIS-SHAPED and DIS-FORMED is OUR PATHETIC, PITIABLE and DREARY state of being. WE have systematically EXCLUDE ourselves from OUR IDENTIFICATION. Hence, if we approach MALE HOMOSEXUALITY from the perspective of IDENTIFICATION instead of MIS~IDENTIFICATION, WE would NOT be asking WHO or WHAT WE are; rather WE would show the world WHO and WHAT we are. And this is such a pity, because if one pays attention to others that are SAME~SEX~PRONE, one who see that MOST if not ALL seem to NOT have any real identification about whom they are.

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: SITUATIONAL HOMOSEXUALITY (THE PRISON EFFECT)

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PITY MOST OF SOCIETY DOES NOT ASK WHY THERE ARE PERSONS THAT ENGAGE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY WITH PERSONS OF THE SAME SEX. THIS IS NOT AN EASY QUESTION TO ANSWER & IN FACT THE REASONS FOR THIS ARE NOT UNDERSTOOD. HOWEVER, I FEEL THAT IF WE EXAMINE THE ISSUE OF SEXUALITY ON BOTH THE SOCIETAL, AS WELL AS INDIVIDUAL LEVELS WE WILL SEE HOW THESE FACTORS WILL BRING US CLOSER TO AN ANSWER. BEHIND THE PRISON WALLS, THEY CANNOT ESCAPE WHAT IS GOING ON BECAUSE ON SOME LEVEL IT IS TAPPING INTO SOMETHING THAT IS LUCID & BELONGS TO NO PARTICULAR MAN. IN THIS ENTRY I THINK I SCRATCHED THE SCRATCH OF THE SURFACE, WHO WANTS TO GO FURTHER WITH ME?

SEXUAL and INTIMATE relations between men and women in society are largely reflective of and DOMINATED by the ideology of male SUPREMACY. However, the lines of SUPREMACY and DOMINATION are blurred when men are placed in SEX-SEGREGATED environments. Within this type of environment, individuals may seek sex with others of their own sex. This is known as SITUATIONAL HOMOSEXUALITY; proving that NO one is born HOMOSEXUAL or HETEROSEXUAL. This concept begs one to question what constitutes SEXUALITY. Nonetheless, when one talks about SEXUALITY the topic of HOMOSEXUALITY is an AUTOMATIC association. Hence, does this mean that SITUATIONAL HOMOSEXUALITY is either a CHOICE or LEARNED behavior? 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: THE SEXUALITY THING

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WE AS GAY PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS MANAGED TO FIND WAYS TO EXPRESSTHEMSELVES IN WAYS THAT IS RIGHT FOR US & I STARTED THIS SEGMENT OF MY BLOGTO CONTRAST WHAT WE THINK SEXUALITY IS VS. WHAT IT ACTUALLY IS. INSTEAD OFDESPISING CERTAIN SEXUALITY, BOTH GAY & STRAIGHT SHOULD USE SEXUALITY ASTHAT ELEMENT UNLOCKING FURTHER CLUES INTO WHO WE ARE AS HUMAN BEINGS. 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: WHATEVER YOU SELLING...

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THIS BLOG ENTRY IS FOR THE GAY MEN OUTTHERE THAT DON’T VALUE THEMSELVES…FOR A WHILE I’VE BEEN GETTINGVARIOUS INVITATIONS FROM DIFFERENT GAY MEN THAT WANT TO HAVE SEX. FROM THE, AREA TOP/BOTTOM, TO I AM HORNY/I AM LONELY COMMENTS; THEY JUST KEEPCOMING. NORMALLY THIS DOESN’T BOTHER ME, BUT I CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL A SENSE OF SADNESSFOR MY FELLOW GAY MEN.

I can’t help but feel SO sad for them because here they are wielding N’ dealing trying their hardest to get MY sex; and I am NOT getting their sales pitch. First and foremost they don’t ask if I am in a relationship (I guess that part does NOT matter) and I know that I could stop them DEAD in their tracks by mentioning Noel, but this is NOT about him. This simply is me not wanting anything from them period. I mean even when I was in that place I wasn’t in that place. I always saw my various sexual escapades as life changing…there was NEVER anything of me that was invested in those men that I feel shame or desperate about; AND I can’t understand how OR why gay men would feel satisfied with not being connected to what they really want.

I feel so ashamed of the GAY community because we are all about the flesh upon flesh…This EASY SEX is like a drug and every time we take a hit, we spiral out of control only to be left feeling empty AND alone. When I went through this cycle, I knew why I was doing it; but today it seems as if MOST gay men are doing because it can be done. Sex is fun, but it can be SO much more if it is with someone we can MORE than just sex with. When are we going to STOP bathing OUR asses in this SH!T and wearing it like some cheap cologne? We F&CK each other like there is a fire sale AND one size fits all…

NO WONDER WE LIVE AS IF IT IS NOT OKAY TO BE GAY…WHEN ARE WE GOING TO SEE THAT BY F&CKING EACH OTHER, WE ARE ONLY REINFORCING THE STIGMATIZATION OF THE GAY IDENTITY? I GUESS THE SIMPLE THING TO DO IS TO CONSIDER WHEN YOU GET HORNY & YOU WANT SOMETHING TO EASE THAT, WE NEED TO THINK IF WE WANT A SERIES OF MEN THAT ARE GOING LAST ALL OF 5-10 MINUTES OR DO WE WANT A SERIES OF 5-10 MINUTES WITH JUST ONE PERSON THAT IS ALL OUR OWN? WHATEVER MOST OF US DECIDE, I KNOW WHICH SIDE OF THE PROBLEM I AM ON, SO AS YOU GUYS KEEP SELLING I WILL REFUSE BECAUSE I AM STOCKED UP FOR LIFE WITH LOVE & RESPECT FOR MYSELF…

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: SEX: ¿WHO IS IN CONTROL?

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SEX IS ABOUT THE INDEPENDENT SPIRIT BEING ABLE TO BREAK FREE FROM THE CONFINES OF OUR PSYCHE. I CAN'T FOR THE LIFE OF ME REMEMBER WHO SPARKED THIS ENTRY, BUT THAT IS A NON-ISSUE. I FEEL THAT AS GAY MEN, WE NEED TO CONNECT WITH THE ESSENCE OF OUR SPIRITUAL SELVES & BRING A POWERFUL SENSE OF ENRICHMENT & FREEDOM TO OUR LIVES. IF WE ARE NOT ONE WITH OURSELVES WHEN WE HAVE SEX THEN WE WILL CONTINUE TO COMPULSIVELY HAVE SEX WITHOUT CONTROL. SEX CANNOT & WILL NOT VALIDATE OUR SELF-WORTH IF WE CANNOT CONNECT WITH EACH OTHER BEYOND GETTING HORIZONTAL. GIVING & RECEIVING ARE SO INTIMATELY INTERTWINED IN SEX, SO IF WE HAVE ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER, THEN WE HAVE?

So the other day I am on MSN and I got a message from an unknown person. My normal reaction is to chat with anyone that hit me up and try to establish some sort of communication with them. As the session moved pass the typical questions…ASL, WHAT AREA YOU LIVE, ARE YOU A TOP/BOTTOM? Etc. Upon chatting with this young man, I realized that one of our MAJOR problems is that gay men are NOT IN CONTROL OF THEIR SEX! After I point out where his questions were leading, he told me that he isn’t just looking for sex, and he wants the entire man that comes along with it. Now I understand that, but when I think of the MANY gay men that wheel N’ deal, it becomes SO obvious that we are what we repeatedly do…SEX is NOT just an act that takes us to that mental AND emotional place, it becomes a habit. 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: THE DICK N' ASS GAME...

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EVERY ACT IN A RELATIONSHIP HAS AN EFFECT ON THE INDIVIDUAL WHO HAS PERFORMED SAID ACT AS WELL AS ON THE RECIPIENT REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THE ACT IS ACKNOWLEDGED OR NOT…SO I ASK IS THERE ANYWAY TO BROKER A DEAL IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS? IN OUR QUEST TO LOVE & BE LOVED IS SEX THAT BIG OF A DEAL? SEX IS IMPORTANT & IT’S GOOD TO FIND SOMEONE WHO PLEASES US & US THEM, BUT IT IS BETTER TO BE A BOTTOM TO HIS TOP THAN TO HAVE NO ONE @ ALL…RIGHT?

One of the most beautiful qualities of an intimate relationship is the give and take of energy that occurs between two people. In the best-case scenario, both people share the talking and listening, and the giving and receiving of support, equally. Occasionally, within any relationship, the balance shifts and one person needs to listen more, or give more. Generally, over a long period of time, even this exception will take on a balanced rhythm; we all go through times when we take more and times when we give more. However, what happens when the relationship is one-sided where sex is concerned? 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: ¿WHAT ABOUT THIS?

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I SURE BLOGGED A LOT ABOUT SEX, HOWCOULD I NOT? SEX HAS MANY FACES, MOST OF THEM ARE UGLY & SHOULDN'T BESEEN. HOWEVER, THERE EXISTS THAT ONE FACE THAT IS SO PRECIOUS, SO BEAUTIFUL THAT WHEN WE SEE IT, WE SHOULD WANT TO SAFE GUARD IT. THIS FACE ISNOTHING TO BEASHAMED OF BECAUSE IT IS OUR OWN…SEX WITH ALL ITSCHARACTERISTICS, IS THAT PARTOF LIFE THAT WE HUMANS DON’T UNDERSTAND, SHOULD BE CHERISHED…IT IS MERELY THEMIRROR OF A SOUL THAT IS STRIPPED BARE REVEALINGTHE INSECURITIES, IMPERFECTIONS& FLAWS OF THEIR LIFE…SO CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT ABOUT THIS YOU ACTUAL GET?HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS RE-POST.

Did you ever meet someone in a bar, a club, on the internet OR just walking in the streets AND found that the chemistry between the two of you was SO explosive that you just couldn’t wait to get into each other? Isn’t it interesting that besides our intelligence and rational thinking, the thing that REALLY separates us from animals is our ability to really enjoy sex? It can be done with a partner, a total stranger AND many others at the same time; THE forbidden fruit that tastes oh so sweet, sparks our DEEPEST fantasies and DARKEST dreams. Yet this INTENSE moment of pleasure, allows us to give in to a side of our personality that no one but yourself and your partner of the moment knows about. When I reflect on my sexual past, I knew why I did who I did…But I can’t help but wonder WHAT IS IT ABOUT SEX that sets our souls on fire, only to feel the burn of a HOT volcano after?

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: ¿TOO MUCH SEX?

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BEING WITH NOEL GIVES ME THE OPPORTUNITY TOTAKE MY SEXUAL SELF DEEPER. SO WHENEVER I COME ACROSS SOMETHING/SOMEONE THATTRIES TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE MY SEXUAL APPETITE IS EXCESSIVE, I WILL SMILEBECAUSE I KNOW THAT I AM GOING WITH THE NATURAL FLOW OF THINGS…I WILL CELEBRATEMY RELATIONSHIP WITH NOEL WITH NO APOLOGIES & NO REGRETS BECAUSE WHAT HEAND I SHARE IS AS NORMAL AS LOVE CAN GET…

Not many partners are equals in libido. Typically, one wants sex more than the other. But that’s NOT the case for Noel and I. There hasn’t been a time when we reached for each other and the other was turned down. In fact I’d say that we can’t seem to get enough of each other…Which brings me to my question, is there such a thing as TOO MUCH SEX? 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: SEX THE CYCLE

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I CAN’T REMEMBER WHOEXACTLY FROM MY PAST/PRESENT INSPIRED THIS ENTRY, BUT AS I SIT WITH THIS INFRONT OF ME, I CAN’T HELP SMILE @ THE FAC THAT SEX IS FAIR GAME. SEX HAS NOTHING& EVERYTHING TO DO WITH PLEASURE & IT WILL ALWAYS DELIVER ON ITSPROMISE. I GUESS THE TRICK IS TO LET HAVE SEX & NOT SEX HAVE US…

It is said that an ORGASM can burn between 60-100 calories, ORAL SEX can burn off the equivalent of a small glass of wine AND that SEX gives you an aerobic workout, helps you to sleep, releases happy hormones AND stimulates the immune system. Indulging in SEXUAL intercourse on a regular basis OR @ least once a week is good for adults. Though research has linked the act of SEX to an astonishing array of physiological benefits, many studies don't address whether the health bonus comes from the act itself OR from the corresponding emotional intimacy. Nonetheless, the bottom line is that SEX has some GREAT side effects on we humans AND the ability to get our share depends on where we are in the CYCLE. 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: THE SEXUAL STIMULUS

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WHEN I LOOK THIS ENTRY AGAIN, I CAN’T HELP BUT REMEMBER BEINGTOLD HOW I AM ATTACKING GAY MEN & AS A GAY MAN I SHOULDN’T DO THAT. &READING THIS I CAN SEE WHY FOLKS WOULD SAY THAT, I THINK IT IS A BIT HARSH. DOI REGRET WRITING THIS? NAH! I FEEL IT DOES SPEAK TO MANY OF US & I COULDN’TIGNORE THAT. I FOUND IT SCARY THAT MOST OF THE GAY MAN’S INSECURITIES AREWRAPPED UP IN HIS SEXUALITY. I FOUND THAT MANY GAY MEN GET OFFENDED BY MYASKING QUESTIONS SUCH AS THESE. NONETHELESS, THEY NEED TO ASK…TOO MANY OF USARE LOST & THINK SEX IS THE ANSWER WHEN IT IS CLEAR THAT IT IS NOT! THE ONECOSMI JOKE IS THAT MOST OF US ARE MORE THAN OUR SEXUALITY; IT IS JUST THAT WETRY TO BE MORE THAN IT INSTEAD…THIS SHALLOW GAGE WE HAVE FOR OURSELVES CANNOTBE BASED ON ANY SET OF VALUES. ASK YOURSELF WHAT DOES YOUR SEXUALITY REALLYMEAN TO YOU? WHAT DOES OTHER GAY MEN MEAN TO ME? WHAT ARE WE DOING TO OURCOMMUNITY? THE ANSWER IS UP TO YOU. MAKE UP YOUR OWN FORMULA FOR NOT BEINGCONTROLLED BY YOUR APPETITE FOR SEX; BASE THOSE QUALITIES ON THE THINGS THATARE IMPORTANT IN LIFE & STOP LIMITING OURSELVES (AS SO MANY OF US DO) ONWHAT WE CAN DO WITH ANOTHER GAY SEXUALLY.

So I am on the internet chatting away via msn messenger and I came across this guy and after a while he wanted me to F&CK him. Now I am NOT oppose anyone getting theirs, but I wonder what makes a man, any man just allow himself to get to point where he will allow just about any stranger to get horizontal with him? What is it from me that make him want to indulge himself in this activity with me? I IN A LARGE PART BLAME THE INTERNET & THE FACT THAT MOST GAY MEN SEEM TO ALLOW WHAT IS SHOWN TO CONTROL HOW THEY LIVE THEIR LIVES. 

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: SEX HOW DO YOU DECIDE?

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THIS BLOG ENTRY FOR THE MEN THAT WANTS TO BE MORE THAN A ‘BOTTOM’ & I FEEL SORRY FOR MAN EMBRACES HIS SEXUALITY & DENY HIS NEED TO TOP ANOTHER JUST SO HE CAN FIT IN WITH THE REST OF THE ‘GAY’ WORLD. I FIND THAT OUR FAILURE AS MEN TO BE SERIOUS ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF OUR SEXUALITY IS VERY HARMFUL TO OUR HUMAN SOCIETY. THEREFORE, I ENCOURAGE THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY TO EMBRACE OUR TRUE SELVES & ALLOW THE TRUE PURPOSE OF HOW WE HAVE SEX BE THE CATALYSTS FOR HUMAN CHANGE, LET US DO IT WHILE WE STILL HAVE A CHANCE. ENJOY THIS ENTRY & I APOLOGIZE FOR ITS LENGTH.

...GETTING TO THE BOTTOM OF THE TOP SITUATION...SEX is a natural expression that touches all living things; and WE are no exception to this rule. No matter what satisfies ones appetite, I am sure WE all can agree that SEX is a very IMPORTANT and VITAL part of our existence. Now the strange things for me is that most if NOT all of us has received more NEGATIVE TRAINING and SEXUAL EDUCATION about the HUMANITY of SEXUALITY. It is well-known fact that most of us place OUR SEXUALITY a distant second to the PLEASURE of the act itself. Hence, I beg to ask when it comes to SEX, how does one decide what they want the end result to be?