
One of the most
beautiful qualities of an intimate relationship is the give and take of energy
that occurs between two people. In the best-case scenario, both people share
the talking and listening, and the giving and receiving of support, equally.
Occasionally, within any relationship, the balance shifts and one person needs
to listen more, or give more. Generally, over a long period of time, even this
exception will take on a balanced rhythm; we all go through times when we take
more and times when we give more. However, what happens when the relationship
is one-sided where sex is concerned?
A friend of mine and I were having a conversation the other day
about his recent relationship and why it ended (damn I feel like I should
pay him or something because two of most recent blog entries came from
conversations with him…see them here and here). During
our conversation he told me that he LOVED his ex VERY much
and he knows that he feels the same about him and they both still see each
other from time to time. I thought they were PERFECT for each other,
but he assured me that they are not…It turns out that the man he wants to spend
the rest of his live with has a MAJOR problem with being penetrated
by him…Now here comes the dick N’ ass game of TOP, BOTTOM or VERSATILE…you
know the labels we give ourselves in order to know how we should have sex with
each other? Does that make sense to you?
I get why we take this approach ESPECIALLY if
we are just hooking up, but in relationship that is going to that place we
thought we couldn't reach, shouldn't we allow our feelings to guide us
into the world of sex with that SPECIAL one? Why are some men SO concerned
about who is going to do what and where? I find it VERY sad when
something like this comes in the way of a relationship that has the potential
to go very far, but experience has taught me that if a man can’t OR won’t
let his partner penetrate him, his partner can’t AND won’t be
satisfied in that relationship. Hence over time, the relationship will become
be draining AND toxic, with the options of simply ending it OR letting
it fade away…right?
As we get older, a stiff and reliable cock becomes more and more elusive for many men. Disease, stress, depression and just plain exaustion are all dickwhackers and can take their toll on an otherwise healthy and happy relationship.
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult to be the partner who isn't getting what he needs and even more difficult for the partner who can't give it to him. Then, the combination of guilt and pre-anxiety about what often turns into a failed performance actually becomes it's own self-fulfilling prophecy.
What happens then depends on how strong the relationship is and how much sympathy and understanding the 'deprived party' can sustain. You keep hoping for the best, you keep reassuring your partner that you love him no matter what and silently thank 'Dog' that it aint you who cant get it up.
It's not only about sucking and fking. It's also about maintaining physical and emotional intimacy during the dry spells, remembering how good it used to be and how it's going to get good again, whether or not penetration is still on the menu.
I often wonder Noel and I getting 'old' and how things will shake out and I know that 5 years isn't that long, but I feel like we will be alright.
DeleteInequality sucks, no matter what forum its introduced into, & sexual inequality sucks mad donkey dong. To climax is the root of MOST sexual activity & it's equally important that one gets their rocks off, as it is that their partner reciprocates that pleasure. This should become the mission & the goal, no matter which position one favors or is assigned to during coitus.
ReplyDeleteOne.
I didn't think about inequality when it came to sex so thanks for bringing that to this entry.
DeleteAs another mainly top in a relationship with another mainly top I am really feeling this blog post.
ReplyDeleteYeah, these relationships can be difficult...you have to work on them.
Thanks for sharing gaytekeeper
www.dlconfessionssequel.com
So no one gets to be on top in your relationship?
DeleteFrottage, oral stimulation, and mutual masturbation . . . No fuss, good stuff
ReplyDeleteSo you having sex now?
Delete