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I
can’t help but feel SO sad
for them because here they are wielding N’ dealing trying their hardest to get MY sex; and I am NOT getting their sales pitch. First
and foremost they don’t ask if I am in a relationship (I guess that part does NOT matter) and I know that I could
stop them DEAD in their
tracks by mentioning Noel, but this is NOT about him. This simply is me not wanting anything from
them period. I mean even when I was in that place I wasn’t in that place. I
always saw my various sexual escapades as life changing…there was NEVER anything of me that was
invested in those men that I feel shame or desperate about; AND I can’t understand how OR why gay men would feel
satisfied with not being connected to what they really want.
I
feel so ashamed of the GAY community
because we are all about the flesh upon flesh…This EASY SEX is like a drug and every time we take a hit, we
spiral out of control only to be left feeling empty AND alone. When I went through this cycle, I knew why I was
doing it; but today it seems as if MOST gay
men are doing because it can be done. Sex is fun, but it can be SO much more if it is with someone
we can MORE than just sex
with. When are we going to STOP bathing OUR asses in this SH!T and wearing it like some cheap cologne? We F&CK each other like there is a fire sale AND one size fits all…
NO WONDER WE LIVE AS IF IT IS NOT OKAY TO BE GAY…WHEN
ARE WE GOING TO SEE THAT BY F&CKING EACH OTHER, WE ARE ONLY REINFORCING THE
STIGMATIZATION OF THE GAY IDENTITY? I GUESS THE SIMPLE THING TO DO IS TO
CONSIDER WHEN YOU GET HORNY & YOU WANT SOMETHING TO EASE THAT, WE NEED TO
THINK IF WE WANT A SERIES OF MEN THAT ARE GOING LAST ALL OF 5-10 MINUTES OR DO
WE WANT A SERIES OF 5-10 MINUTES WITH JUST ONE PERSON THAT IS ALL OUR OWN?
WHATEVER MOST OF US DECIDE, I KNOW WHICH SIDE OF THE PROBLEM I AM ON, SO AS YOU
GUYS KEEP SELLING I WILL REFUSE BECAUSE I AM STOCKED UP FOR LIFE WITH LOVE
& RESPECT FOR MYSELF…
I must agree with you. Sometimes we get so caught up in the fantasy of the sexual conquest we disregard the innate need to have a meaningful long term relationship. Chasing fantasies are not likely to get us there. Finding a real relationship should be our goal.
ReplyDeleteI long for us to find a balance between fantasy and a long term relationship.
DeleteI don't think its just a gay thing this happens in the str8 community as well,its just that is seems more prevalent in the gay community we now live in a society where there is a lot more freedom and opportunities for anonymous sex. The think with gays is that men are often not willing to ignore there sexual cravings or desires, so if two men find the chance of a "hook up" they are willing to go for it rather than saying no its just the nature of most men. Some where down the line this behavior becomes unsatisfactory in the end and a desire to be in a permanent relationship is more desirable although some try to make it last forever. I guest that's why some gay men loves Peter Pan so much.
ReplyDeleteThanks for making the love for Peter Pan clear.
DeleteI've never seen this as a bad thing. I look for relationships different than when I cruise for sex. I'm after something different.
ReplyDeleteThe things is MOST of us DON'T know the difference.
DeleteIt's a bad thing if the guy has a history of putting himself out there as a tool for anybody and everybody because 'I don't think I deserve any better'. How do you drill self-esteem into somebody else's head?
ReplyDeleteBeing in a relationship because you don't think you deserve any better. ANy decision you make rooted in your low self-esteem is bad. However, not everyone out cruising for a hook up is there because of low self esteem. Knowing yourself and being honest about your motivations.
DeleteI also do not believe anyone should be ashamed of another's actions. Someone fucking strangers because they want to, that should not have any impact on you. They are not every gay man any more than two married men with an adopted child are. The moment we start to think gay men should reflect our values, hell that makes us no better than straight folk saying homosexuality is wrong. There is no right way to do gay. I do not think I should have to apologize to anyone to what I impact I have on how gay society is seen... besides, I'm pretty sure when hooking up with a stranger, the only other person who knows what happens is not straight.
I've learnt over the years that you can't make someone realize how wonderful they are.
Deleteprobably, but that doesnt mean you stop trying.
DeleteBTW, I can always depend on your 'getting' what I'm saying.. few do.
Look, I've lived in the straight world and the gay world.
ReplyDeleteSex is sex and a relationship is a relationship. It's two different things.
As long as everyone is honest and mentally healthy there is nothing wrong with a sexual hookup. Sex is like eating...we all get hungry and have to fulfill that urge.
Sex can be fun and empowering. And I've met some of my beest friends through hookups no lie because sex can be a great ice breaker and way to bond.
On the other hand there are people who use sex to build self esteem or to fill an emptiness in their lives or to find relationships. Sexual addiction, especially when you are doing risky things like drugs or unsafe sex, is not good.
Immanuel
www.dlconfessionssequel.com
Like I tell my friends, you can fuck as many men as you want as long as you understand the reason for doing so.
Delete"This EASY SEX is like a drug and every time we take a hit, we spiral out of control only to be left feeling empty AND alone."
ReplyDeleteYOU BETTA PREACH!!..(does church run around livingroom)..This was a great post. I share your sentiments to the fullest!
Thanks, are you back to blogging sir?
Delete