YESTERDAY I...

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 Isn’t it sad how we allow our lives to become infected by FEAR? Fear has spread to the VERY existence of life and it has taken over; but how does one pick up the pieces? YESTERDAY, I took a difficult stand to define, name, create for AND speak for myself. YESTERDAY, I chose to exist AND fill the hole of my existence. YESTERDAY, I filled the missing role in this world and laid my eyes on my boss (the B!TCH) for the last AND final time…I was presented with an ultimatum, a choice AND like one of my favorite movies tells, THE CHOICES IN LIFE HAVE ALREADY BEEN MADE, WE ARE ONLY HERE TO UNDERSTAND IT. So I write this blog entry with clarity AND confidence for I have faced the most difficult situation of my life and I decided to take the path that offered life OVER certain death. The B!TCH decided that I wasn’t working out, I am not doing what I should AND she wanted to place me back on probation…I signed the letter after much debate where I realized that she has a PERSONAL problem with me and NO matter  what I do/say I will FOREVER be wrong. So when I returned from lunch I typed up my resignation letter and handed it to her, it was interesting to see her almost come to tears as she try to explain to me that she did this for my own good, but I thought to myself…if this is for my own good and I am SO incapable of performing on the job, HOW IS THAT I AM THE ONLY PERSON IN THE COMPANY THAT IS WORKING ON THE NEW SYSTEM THAT WAS JUST PURCHASED? If I am SO dumb why keep me on? It is obvious to me that she knows NOTHING about the system since I was the one that created EVERY single bit of information that’s in it (light bulb) that ONLY could  mean that she wanted me to finish what she can’t and when I am done with that then what? As I reflect on our meeting I can’t help but hear her say how TEDIOUS THE TASK WAS & THAT SHE WON’T HOLD THAT AGAINST ME…yet you are basically firing me? I wasn’t born this size AND I maybe a black man, but I am NOT a dumb black man. She is much like the others that came to do battle by trying to hold me hostage AND I did NOT give her my soul…I don’t know what lies ahead AND I know the problems that are going on in the world right now, but I cannot allow that to keep me prisoner in a place that seems to think that I am begging for money when I am putting up with their shit AND performing @ a company that has NO structure OR vision. When I think of the times I closed my eyes on many occasions AND just took whatever because I needed the money. Leaving me only to wonder, what does this cost my soul? Isn’t there a time when enough is enough AND too much becomes too much? I have worked long enough for me to realize that it doesn’t pay to sell yourself so that others can rape AND steal your future. That’s why the world is in the state it is @ the moment AND though many will keep this energy in motion, I’ve decided that MY LIFE…MY FUTURE…MY UNIQUENESS is a gift given to me AND it is my responsibility to see that I play a role in my life rather than have persons like her constantly calling the shots…YESTERDAY I…