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What do
you do when you cannot be your gay self and you are forced to accept the decrepit
abyss around you called masculinity by hetero men? The hetero man’s idea about being a man is not varied in the
least bit and they are not about accepting the debilitating evaluation of the
male potential by accepting the gay man on his terms. I know some would say, that
isn’t fair to gay/straight relationships
that work, but those are far few and in-between. I speak to the gay/straight relationship where the gay is pushed to dance with a female, spank the stripper on her ass or
indulge in a conversation where men talk about women they want to get with.
For what it's worth, I've always held the notion that one day we
as men will realize that we are all the same yet different; and that homosexuality
will no longer come @ the expense of manhood, but until that day…I don’t pretend
to be anyone other than me and I’ve been told by others they weren’t sure if I am
gay or not. I guess in the over all scheme of things, we still have the same
masculine tendencies; however I think we gay men are MORE balanced. Therefore in the spirit of MALE unity and with all due respect to the
male gender, I submit that it is absolutely amazing how so MANY of us gullibly accept something simply because it exists.
Unfortunately a large segment of gay men will embrace and put
their energy into a male bonding with a ‘straight’
man without ever really analyzing the impact, for better or for worse, it may
have upon them and their posterity for generations to come. We cannot seriously
do irrelevant activities or believe that if we are a certain way with the ‘straight’ men we keep company with that
it will somehow lead to the forgetfulness of our homosexuality. Tell me: how can we find our way home by forgetting
how we got to where we are now? How can we find our way home without figuring
out how we got lost in the first place?
I do
not have gay male pride although I am gay, male and prideful; I believe we MUST take accountability for manhood on
an individual AND collective level. As
the world evolves, I believe it is time to retool what we feel a man is. I find
it impossible to take pride in being ‘straight’
because it is not something that I worked for and I get that it is the
same for hetero men. However, we all need to find a way to be SECURE in our existence. I can stand
behind any movement that celebrates diversity but find it strange that we cannot/will not find a way to
incorporate DIVERSITY RECOGNITION into
this thing we call masculinity.
You know, I have to give credit to the "flaming queens" both young and old. Too me, they are the most masculine of men for the bravery they exhibit in being themselves in a world which chastises and critizes and constantly threatens them.
ReplyDeleteThat's masculinity, standing up to the world despite the odds and consequences. That's part of what our fathers should teach us.
That's masculinity, not these pussies who run around in groups beating up and killing helpess LGBT folk!!
THOMAS: BUT OUR FATHERS ARE TOO AFRAID OF RAISING GAY MEN SO...
ReplyDeletedaddy the gnome leader of narcissists. nice 1. ha.
ReplyDeleteAMY: OKAY...?
ReplyDeleteI for one can't tolerate being around a group of straight men most of the time. Their hubris and ego pumping is just too much to take sometimes. Individually by themselves they seem to be okay but in groups forget it!
ReplyDeleteSTAN: I TOTALLY GET WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. I WORK WITH ALL MEN & IT IS A LOT TO BEAR SOMETIMES, I OFTEN WONDER HOW THEIR WIVES DEAL WITH THEM.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, for many the inbalance between gay/straight is a product of the the closet that same gender loving men hide behind due to the perceptions imposed by a straight-dominated society. Until we all are free from these misguided notions, none of us will ever be able to appreciate the diversity of our masculinity.
ReplyDeleteROGER: LIFE IS ALL ABOUT BALANCE & THAT COUNTS FOR EVERY INCH OUR LIVES!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the diversity of my own masculinity, which was impossible prior to my coming out and accepting myself as the richly diverse human being that I am.
ReplyDeleteMost of us spend way too much time worrying about what THEY think and dont realize that most of THEM are miserably unhappy and tortured souls.
The man I see in the mirror as well as the one I see in my lover's eyes smiles back at me and for that I am blessed and so very thankful.
JEFF: IT IS MY DREAM THAT ALL GAY MEN GET TO WHERE YOU ARE.
ReplyDeleteIt took me most of a lifetime to get to where I am now and it often remains a struggle to maintain what I have somehow managed to achieve.
ReplyDeleteI wish all of you an easier journey.
JEFF: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU CAN OFFER TO MAKE THE JOURNEY OF OTHERS EASIER?
ReplyDelete