OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: ¿30 =TOP?

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I DECIDED TO RE-POST THIS ENTRY BECAUSE I FIND THAT AS GAY MEN ‘EVOLVE’ MOST SEEM TO DEVOLVE WHEN IT COMES TO HOW THEY EXPRESS THEMSELVES SEXUALLY. NOW DON’T GET ME WRONG, I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST GAY MEN DECIDING THAT THEY RATHER ONE THING OVER ANOTHER WHEN IT COMES TO SEX, BUT I SAY MAKE SURE HE UNDERSTANDS WHY HE IS DOING WHAT HE IS DOING…& THIS IS COMING FROM DEALING PERSONALLY WITH MEN OVER THE AGE OF 30…THESE MEN WHO BEG N’ PLEAD WITH ME NOT TO TELL ANYONE THAT THEY ALLOWED ME TO TOP THEM…OF COURSE YOU KNOW IT WAS MY PLEASURE TO TAKE THEM THERE…L(O)L

A common phenomenon in the gay culture, what I’d like to call part of the ‘gay evolution’ is the change for men when they reach the ripe age of 30 or thereabouts. This change manifests in what they do in the bedroom…rather what role they play or even with closer investigation what they profess happens. These men do away with the sexual role they performed (bottoms/versatile) and suddenly they manifest themselves into ‘total tops’. Leaving me and I am sure a few others to ask, ‘what happened?’

Now I know that there are persons out there who are tops (TOTAL TOPS), who never bottomed except for that one or two times and claim they didn’t like it and never will. I say ‘GOD BLESS EM, BLESS EVEN MORE THE MEN WHO WILL BOTTOM FOR THEM!’ Bless that BIG cock loving, good fuck taking guy who goes crazy for any man that knows how to work them. I’ve met a few of these men, hell I even F&CKED a few of them…I can see him now taking it from the back while calling out my name. WHEN DID HE BECOME A TOP? Are we a culture that feels that to be a bottom or taking dick up the ass means that you are less than a man? (Aren’t we already less than men because we love other men?) Do we somehow become conscious of this at the age of maturity? Is thirty the age of maturity for gays?

This could be true since at forty most gay men are considered geriatric, which by definition means: being old and outmoded – unfashionable or obsolete; that sounds about right. So the thirty’s are the middle age – this is the time where we reflect on our lives consider our future and make steps toward achieving those goals that we have. Somehow those goals involve no longer taking dick up the ass. @ the heart of this I think is a psychological reasoning that age determines status and status determines dominance and we equate being dominance with being a top…

 So in the sociology of gay males we have this different type machismo that parallels that of the straight world. And we know how that goes overtly masculine equals powerful which is a problematic deduction for me. For the gay community, the most powerful victory we have is being TRUE selves, so then why are we fighting to be the manly man who is an extreme exaggeration of what really lies within our hearts? Think of it like this…if we like ice cream before do we suddenly not like ice cream anymore? And truth be told most of these men who profess to be tops, well…with the right person @ the right time in the right place 9 times out of 10 tend to be THE biggest bottoms! So in reality nothings changed it just the comfort level in admitting what they actually feel or want as opposed to what they are expected or told to feel or want.