I ALWAYS find it interesting when I sit N’ wait for something it comes to me…For a while now I’ve been toying with a title for an entry I wanted to post, but NOTHING came to me…until now. In my daily blog reading I came across an entry from Lamont Pierre titled A WISE WOMEN STOPPED ME TODAY…In this entry he talked about how this stranger pretty much summarized his life AND told him how much adversity he came up against. I LOVED that her overall message was LET THEM BE WRONG. When I read this, it became SUDDENLY clear that my blog entry needed to see the light of day…
A few weeks ago I stopped by mother to play catch up…talk about this N’ that, see what’s going on with her. My family are a weird bunch (no different from any other family), but I sometimes wonder. Most of my childhood, I thought that I was an alien or something because there were many days when I felt SMARTER than those around me. They are the typical didn’t finish high school bunch who are wiser than they know ONLY they don’t believe it. So being who I am, I couldn’t hold back this tongue any longer…you see it was on the brain slipping down into my mouth AND I couldn’t hold it back (nor did I want to). I have 3 uncles that aren’t worth being called men, yet my mother AND aunt seem to think that they are…GO FIGURE…RIGHT? These uncles of mine are SO lost N’ confused that I am surprised they can breathe AND talk @ the same time. Who isn’t cheating on the woman he made his wife NOT before cheating with her on his baby mama, is growing up a child that may OR may not be his who is a demon from hell…while the other can’t get pass the fact that his woman left him and married his childhood friend. Now of course if you ask my mother, she’d say EVERYTHING negative about these women; however her brothers are being excused (crazy huh?). No matter because her GAY son was there to bring the truth…NOT HIS TRUTH or THEIR TRUTH…THE WHOLE TRUTH & NOTHING BUT…This was the FIRST time my mother was speechless because she knew that what I was saying wasn’t wrong @ all and there was NO way she could defend them. I mean how can you give sorry excuses of men a way out when there is none? What hurt me the most is that my young cousins are suffering and these men are doing NOTHING to save their drowning children. From my female cousin that has been gang raped by men who are old enough to be her father, to my male cousin asking his mom why does daddy call you a whore, to another male cousin that seems to know who he is, but I am afraid because if he is indeed GAY his dad will kill him like he tried to kill me…I feel SO helpless sometimes because I wonder, LORD WHY DID YOU PUT HERE IF I CAN’T HELP? HOW CAN I MAKE A DIFFERENCE? I MEAN I TRY SO HARD NOT TO THINK OF HOW MESSED UP THEY ARE, BUT I CAN’T HELP IT…@ THE END OF THE DAY, ALL I CAN DO IS DO WHAT I CAN DO & CHANNEL POSITIVE ENERGY & SHOW MY YOUNG COUSINS THAT I CARE…YEAH THE GAY ONE CARES…
What I find SO interesting about them is that I KNOW that they’ll be thinking who the hell do I think I am? How can I judge them when I am the MOST horrible thing a man could be? I GUESS IT IS A GOOD THING THAT I AM NOT LIVING FOR THEM & THAT I AM LIVING A LIFE THAT IS ROOTED IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE THAT WANTS TO SPEND HIS LIFE N’ BUILD A FAMILY WITH ME (INSERT TEARS OF JOY HERE). I AM FIGHTING DECADES OF NEGATIVE ENERGY SO THAT I CAN STAND ON THE MOUNTAIN TOP…I REMEMBER WHEN I USED TO THINK THAT IT WAS PURPOSE TO SAVE THEM, NOW I KNOW BETTER…ALL I CAN DO IS HOPE N’ PRAY THAT THEY REALLY GET IT BECAUSE IT HURTS TO LET THEM BE WRONG…
Your mom, by defending your uncles, is only doing what comes naturally to most people. Don't folks say, 'blood is thicker than water'? I do not uphold or support this view, just for the sake of it. The truth is the truth, as far as I'm concerned.
ReplyDeleteAs for your uncles, everyone is given life to live, and the freedom to exercise choices. They have made choices concerning their lives, whether those choices were good or not, they are living the result. But as you say, the unfortunate part is that the result of those choices are affecting the children. That is what happens when, in this imperfect world, we do not live our lives consciously.
You ask why God put you here if you cannot help. You cannot, no matter how much you might want, live life for someone else. If there is a mess in a person's life, salvation can only come to that person once they recognise the problem and are willing to embrace the solution. We say you can take a horse to the river, yet cannot force it to drink.
You can make a difference to those that need a way out like your cousins (even your uncles), by continuing to be a beacon of light. But sometimes, instead of people attaching themselves to the light, they reject it. There are many reasons for this. I hope your cousins can see you for who you are and perhaps take that which is positive from you.
Let them be wrong is a very powerful statement. It's not easy to do that when it comes to your family, but sometimes we just have to let go and let God. I learned that the hard way. It reminds me of Jason's Lyric when Jada's character told Allen Payne's character that he was going to run himself into the ground trying to save a brother that doesn't want to be saved.
ReplyDeleteI loved the strength in this post, it was beautiful. And I know how it feels to just be one against the world. keep fighting and praying for your cousins, keep showing them your strength and serenity, ever little helps, trust me, they'll appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteNO, I HAVE TO CHANGE MY MIND. I'M SEEING THIS POST IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT AND I WANT TO CRY AND SCREAM AND LASH OUT ALL AT THE SAME TIME. IT'S LIKE SOMETHING IN ME HAS JUST WOKEN UP!
ReplyDeleteBEGINNING WITH 'FROM MY FEMALE COUSIN...' ONWARD, I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I'M READING. THIS IS MADNESS!!!
I DON'T HAVE THE WORDS TO ADEQUATELY ARTICULATE MY FEELINGS. AND I DON'T WANT TO OFFEND YOU SINCE THIS IS YOUR FAMILY. BUT MY GOONESS, WHAT IS THIS THAT YOUR UNCLES ARE DOING?
GAYTE, MY VERY FIRST COMMENT WAS SOME PIE IN THE SKY. I DON'T KNOW WHERE I WAS WHEN I WAS CONCOCTING IT AND I DON'T LIKE IT. CAN YOU REMOVE IT PLEASE?
ReplyDeleteTHERE'S SOMETHING THAT YOU SAID THAT RAISED AN EYEBROW. YOUR UNCLE TRIED TO LITERALLY KILL YOU? FOR BEING GAY? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
I SWEAR THERE ARE A COUPLE OF THINGS THAT ARE JUST SO WRONG HERE. I MIND WHEN A PERSON DESTROYS HIS LIFE, BUT NOT AS MUCH AS WHEN THEY START DESTROYING LIVES THAT DID NOT ASK TO BE BROUGHT INTO THIS WORLD. I WISH PEOPLE COULD SORT THEMSELVES OUT BEFORE THEY BRING LIFE INTO THE WORLD. IT IS SO NOT FAIR WHEN CHILDREN HAVE TO SUFFER BASED ON THE BEHAVIOURS OF THEIR PARENTS. REALLY. IT IS NOT FAIR AT ALL. DESTROY YOUR LIFE IF YOU SO CHOOSE, BUT PLEASE LEAVE OTHERS OUT OF IT.
AND I WAS ASKING MYSELF WHY WE NEED FAMILIES. I KNOW THE ANSWER YOU GAVE ME, BUT LORD, SOMETIMES...?
NOW AIN'T THAT A FUNNY ONE. YOU? BEING THE MOST HORRIBLE THING A MAN COULD BE?
ReplyDeleteI SAY THEY WOULD HAVE TO TAKE MIRRORS AND LOOK AT WHAT WOULD BE PEEKING BACK AT THEM AND THEN THE TALKING CAN START.
INDEEDY MY GAYTE, SOMETIMES ALL THAT WE CAN DO IS TO PRAY THAT RAYS OF LIGHT SHINE UPON THOSE IN NEED, EVEN IF THEY DON'T THINK SO. WHEN A PERSON IS IN DARKNESS, IT'S SOMETIMES A PAINFUL THING TO WATCH, ESPECIALLY IF THEY THINK THEY ARE THE ENLIGHTENED ONES.
BUT SERIOUSLY, THIS SITUATION NEEDS PRAYER, FOR NO MAN ON HIS OWN, CAN EVER SUCCEEED IN CHANGING ANOTHER MAN'S HEART. CHANGE WILL START FROM WITHIN A PERSON, WHEN THAT PERSON HAS FINALLY SEEN THE LIGHT. WHEN THEY HAVE FINALLY ACCEPTED THAT THEIR WAYS WERE WRONG.
If i didnt admire u before. i certainly do now....AND IM PROUD OF U. and o so glad that u haven't allowed what u have been thru in the past to kill ur faith in urself and in love. I wanna be like u more everyday
ReplyDeleteTru3logic took the words right out of my mouth! :)
ReplyDeleteKeep staying strong and keep praying for your cousins man. By doing that you are helping them in more ways than one.
ReplyDeleteGreat post and thanks for always patronizing my little blog. It is an interesting notion...
ReplyDeleteAs for family, I usually just find myself feeling like since I can't help them, I'll just help myself. But, that doesn't get me very far no matter how pissed I get at the inability to break through - to them. I tend to think most families knows who the anchor is and at the times when it really counts, they'll always turn back to you as their guide. And if they don't, hell....
...let them be wrong.
SHALLOTTE – I THINK IT IS SAD THAT BLOOD IS THICKER THAN IN THIS CASE BECAUSE MY MOM SEES WHAT IS GOING ON, BUT CHOOSES TO TURN A BLING EYE TO IT…DON’T GET ME STARTED ON MY UNCLES…
ReplyDeleteI AM GLAD THAT YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND ABOUT ME REMOVING THIS COMMENT BECAUSE I HAD NO INTENTION OF MOVING IT…I AM SO AFRAID FOR MY COUSINS THAT I HAVE TO MAKE MYSELF THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE SO I DON’T LOOSE MY MIND…YEAH WHEN I THROW OUT OF THE CLOSET @ THE AGE OF 20 MY UNCLE PROCEEDED TO ATTACK ME WITH A BASEBALL BAT…IT WAS HORRIBLE BUT I STOOD MY GROUND NONTHELESS & I LIVED TO WRITE ABOUT IT…I AM IN A PLACE IN MY LIFE WHERE I DON’T NEED MY FAMILY PER SAY…I MEAN I AM GOING TO GET MARRIED AND IT DOESN’T BOTHER ME THAT THEY WON’T BE THERE OR BE APART OF MY FAMILY’S LIFE…MY KIDS HOWEVER WILL KNOW WHO THEY ARE…
I AGREE WITH YOU THAT’S WHY I HAVE TO LET THEM BE WRONG…
SCORNED WOMAN – I KNOW YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT LETTING FAMILY MEMBERS BE WRONG FROM YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE…THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENT.
ReplyDeleteDOPE FIEND – I KNOW THAT YOU ARE RIGHT, IT IS JUST THAT WHEN THE TIME COMES FOR THEM TO APPRECIATE IT, I HOPE THEY ARE NOT TOO DAMAGED TO KNOW IT…
ReplyDeleteTRU3LOGIC – BEING ME…HMMM
ReplyDeleteCUTIETJ – YOU JUST KNOW HOW TO MAKE A BROTHER SMILE…
ReplyDeleteJB – I BELIEVE THAT, I TRULY DO…
ReplyDeleteLAMONT PIERRE – THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE TITLE FOR THIS BLOG ENTRY…I WILL JUST HAVE TO HOPE THAT THEY CAN SEE WHO THE ANCHOR IS BEFORE THINGS GET TO A PLACE WHERE THEY CAN’T BE FIXED…
ReplyDeletegreat post...it's always a challenge to make change
ReplyDeleteWONDER MAN - TELL ME ABOUT IT...
ReplyDeleteLet them be dead ass wrong.....I hate that word...I may use it for a comedy point of view but no way am I embracing it because we were slaves....We were...Now, we are free....So, let the word be free and let the people who use it learn what it really means....:)
ReplyDeleteyea...I remember us having this discussion before...and I dont like how society in its whole that treats people as such. We cant help who we love.....
ReplyDeleteI dont want you to change nothing.... cos thanks God you dont like women cos I would be ALLLLLLLLLLLLL over your ass....o (blink blink) sorry Ossie...hahaha
ReplyDeleteREGGIE - I LIKE YOUR TAKE ON THE SITUATION
ReplyDeleteOYIN - SO CAN I COUNT ON YOU AS ONE OF THE NON-GAY PERSONS TO CHAMPION THE CAUSE?
ReplyDeleteWow this was deep.
ReplyDeleteDEONTE'K - THAT'S PUTTING IT MILDLY...
ReplyDeletesure you can...Im here for you no matter what....
ReplyDeleteTGK: You are 1 awesome guy!
ReplyDeleteOYIN - YOU BETTER BE
ReplyDeleteACOUSTIC SOUL - IT COMES REAL EASY...
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting the dynamic of your family [not that any family is better] but my observation is that your uncles and your grandfather are primarily responsible for everything that has gone on with the people in that family. It's interesting that I do have a feminist perspective however a history of broken men can really screw things up for everyone especially if they are as undeniably controlling as those men
ReplyDelete