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To us gay men being called ‘a big ole bottom’ is usually a put-down in the form of joke. Imagine being @ a club and resident drag queen working the crowd picks out an audience member and asks, ‘are you a top or a bottom?” And before her target has gotten two words out, she howls, “Bottom!” The essence of the joke is: Don’t kid yourself, honey. Nobody thinks you’re a man; you’re just a big girl. Now imagine that very same man approaching you with a come on like, ‘what time is it?’ So you look @ your wrist but you can tell for some reason or another that he's not interested in the time, he wants to F&CK! You're not TOO keen on getting with him because he was in the spotlight and you’d consider fooling around with him if it wasn’t SO obvious what role he would play sexually but...Isn’t it something how most guys that take on the role as a bottom would say that it is one of THE PRIME JOYS OF A GAY MAN’S SEX LIFE? They make it the center of their erotic universe no matter how you want it serve. However, if one were to do a survey on how gay men feel about taking a dick, most would make you feel as if you asked them if they have HIV or something because in the gay community taking a dick is the last thing most gay men want to admit they do.
But why is that? Why is there shame attached to bottoming? I know that there are MANY myths and fears about anal sex, and it’s normal to feel them, but…Humans are the only animal that can face each other in sex. I think we have this ability so we can create a potential bond. Do you think we as gay men could ever have sex with each other without the psychological pleasure n’ pain attached? To see another gay man as less than because you ‘top’ him sexually means we are making something that is natural, feel unnatural. If we continue to believe that the only REAL man is the one who gets hard and does the work, then that keeps the fear I’m not a man ALIVE! Condemning a gay man for ‘bottoming’ causes repression that will seep out into the community in less than desirable ways that only agitate our psyche; and I find it SO stupid to bask in pleasure of ‘topping’ a ‘bottom’ only to hand out shame as soon as you ejaculate.
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