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Love.. Like you've never been hurt
29, 1.75m, 82kg, 87.9cm , Athletic, Black Hair, Some Body Hair, Black, Looking forFriendship.
Hey guys what's up! I am looking for real down to earth peps to chat and or chill with ... Fems, liars, queens stay away... I am a lover of good music, great conversation, and good people... If you are in search of true friendship and who knows what else could happen hit me up... I will leave you with a few words that describe my life in a nutshell: I've been so many places in my life and time; I've sung alot of songs; I've made some bad rhymes; (contd..)
I've acted out my life in stages; with ten thousand people watching; But we're alone now! and...
Casual, Smoke No, Drink Socially, Drugs No,
Versatile, HIV Negative,
The funny thing is when I see these kinds of words on a profile for a4a it is uaually because the "person" is a flaming queen who switches harder than LeBron James.I have met these "men" from A4A and I get sooooo mad. Not because they are feminine or anything but because of what they so-called require of others.I want to ask them so bad..."Have you looked in the mirror,chile." To me that makes them the liars.It really trips me out when they say that they are "tops"....What...Get the fuck out of here... and they get mad....Is that they hte themselves so much that they do not want to see temselvec for what they are? I do not get it?
ReplyDeleteI agree with Mackson about the rampant hypocrisy.
ReplyDeleteThe other thing that stands out is this persons desire to find a fuck buddy without listing many of the personal attributes necessary to decide whether or not you're going to want to fuck someone.
Things like, you know, a fucking picture.
This dude is obviously a self loathing closet case too hung up on his desire to be percieved as "masculine" or "heterosexual" because his personal experiences have convinced him both adjectives are the ONLY ways to exist happily. Its an alarming mental dichotomy that will eventually lead to further acts of self destruction or the unintentional destruction of his fellow gay.
When it is all said and done, it's HIS preference.
ReplyDeleteNot every gay black man is a "queen" or effeminate.
It doesn't necessarily make him a self hater if he chooses
to be with what he likes.
I thinks what's wrong with the black gay community is
that we aren't accepting of the many facets of black gay men. If you're "straight acting" then some idiot will say you're on the DL, which in my opinion is as derogatory as calling one a fag or a nigger.
If you're a "flaming queen" then you are the stereotype of a loud black bitchy man. This stereotype is derogatory too.
We come in all shades and in every flavor. There's so many to choose from. Black masculinity knows no bounds. The problem just so happens to be us.
I guess that for me, either I just did not read the same thing you did, or I feel you read too much into what was written. We all have preferences. Light skin/dark skin, tall/short, muscular/fat/skinny and yes even masculine/fem/queen. I see him doing no more than just stating what his preference is. I would think that if he felt that feminine men weren't real people, he would not have expressed a preference not to want to be with one of them in a relationship.
ReplyDeleteFinally to Mackson's points which I would agree with except I'm not sure that they apply here. Opposites attract. A flame'n queen is generally not going to go for another queen in a relationship. It's a preference and we all make them.
Dudes words are "I am looking for real down to earth peps to chat and or chill with ... Fems, liars, queens stay away." It's what he's look'n for. What he wants for him. What he prefers. Why not just take him at his word?
I think it has more to do what his preference. Maybe his experience with effeminate men in the life have not been the greatest. I know mine haven't. And at this point n his life he doesn't want the drama attached to those people. Its still good to get to know people for who they really are though.
ReplyDeleteIn Total Agreement with Mackson. I have seen it happen so many times. The majority of people with a complete abhorrence of effeminacy are hella effeminate themselves. It tipped me off when he said, "No fems, queens, and liars..."
ReplyDeleteTranslation: I'm a big ole WOMAN.
I feel and see that he has a preference, but seeing this makes it seems like he has a hatred for fems and queens. I can understand liars. I can't get mad, but that is just his preference. I've seen that there are a lot of stigma towards fems and drag queens. What gets me is that the main ones that don't want fems are fems themselves or either insecure masculine bottoms.
ReplyDeleteEffemiphobia (also known as sissyphobia) is the irrational fear, contempt, disgust, or hatred that some gay men feel toward gay men who, in the most extreme cases of effemiphobia, are not completely masculine in all of their behaviors. (There is, though, a spectrum of effemiphobia, with much less extreme effemiphobes disliking or disdaining only one or a few typically feminine characteristics.) The typical effemiphobe describes himself as "straight-acting" and "straight-appearing" and asks that those who seek friendship or sex with him be the same. Effemiphobes also tend to use queen or femme in their most pejorative sense. Often effemiphobia goes hand in hand with a jock and sports culture and consequently a dislike of overweight gay men, since obesity allegedly shows a lack of fitness and athleticism, two traits seen as requisite for real masculinity.
ReplyDeleteIt's all based on patriarchal masculinity.
agreed wit what someone else said earlier usually when ppl put no fems or queen its cuz they a queen themself. Personally i like a fem guy.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with ThaWickedOne on this. I don't see much wrong with the profile. Everyone has their preferences when it comes to attractions, and this user on A4A just let it be known up front what his are. The rest of his profile makes him out to sound like a real down to earth guy, so maybe he's just had some bad experiences with Fems, liars, and Queens. I'll be honest, the "Fems" part is the only blah part, but being that it's followed by liars and queens, maybe he just meant no shitty bitches. lol
ReplyDeleteI agree with all the ones that said its SIMPLY JUST a preference. I LIKE what I LIKE and I DON'T what I DON'T. But its a fine difference between simply giving your preference of who are the types of ppl WHO YOU DON'T LIKE and just down right PUTTING THEM DOWN. The QUESTION IS...CAN A PERSON GIVE THEIR PREFERENCE WITHOUT SOMEONE GETTING OFFENDED?!
ReplyDeleteI cosign with Donn M. It is simply a preference but wording can make it seem like a put down. Words like "faggots, fems, fat ugly queens," or "bitch ass men" sounds like a put down
ReplyDeleteMACKSON – YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT THAT! YEAH THE REQUIREMENTS ARE WHAT BOTHERS ME, I GET THAT WE ALL PREFERENCES, BUT AID OR GUIDE THOSE IS MY QUESTION?
ReplyDeleteCOGENT – I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU!!!
ReplyDeleteANONYMOUS – IT SURE IS, BUT THAT’S THE ISSUE HERE, MY ISSUE IS WHY IS THAT HIS PREFERENCE? I AM SURE IF YOU SIT HIM DOWN & CHAT WITH HIM YOU’D COME TO A DIFFERENT CONCLUSION!
ReplyDeleteTHAWICKEDONE – YOU HAVE A POINT, BUT THIS ISSUE ISN’T SOMETHING SIMPLE AS IT IS A PREFERENCE…THERE MORE GOING ON HERE, MUCH MORE!
ReplyDeleteTRU3LOGIC – YOU KNOW THE GAY COMMUNITY SEE FEMININE MEN SO THAT WITHIN ITSELF SAYS A LOT!
ReplyDeleteMR. TODDY – I LOVE YOU!
ReplyDeleteHERSHEY KISS – IT CERTAINLY DOES CONVEY SOME LEVEL OF HATRED YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT THAT!
ReplyDeleteANTI-INTELLECT – I LOVE THE WAY YOU SUMMED THIS UP! I CRINGE WHEN I COME ACROSS THESE TYPE OF MEN.
ReplyDeleteDA SEEKAH – I LIKE A FEM GUY MYSELF…
ReplyDeleteMIKEL – I AGREE WITH HIM AS WELL, BUT LIKE SAID THERE IS MORE GOING HERE THAT MERE PREFERENCE.
ReplyDeleteDONN M. – I THINK YOU CAN DO IT WITHOUT PUTTING SOMEONE DOWN.
ReplyDelete