¿IS THAT SUNLIGHT I SEE?

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Today marked the beginning of what I think is a HUGE step in the right direction for my cousin. She decided that she wanted to go for counseling in order for her to get her life back on track and I couldn’t be HAPPIER! When I wrote about her about a week ago, I felt her isolation N’ pain and I was glad that she picked up the telephone and called me for help. She realized that death is not an option for her and decided that she wanted to live despite where she is in life right now…So she decided to let me know things that brought her to a VERY dark AND lonely place…She told me about the family friend that raped her this past Saturday, but not before he started doing this to her @ the tender age of ten (10). Of course that made me EXTREMELY upset because I HATE when adults use children for the sexual pleasure…This is young lady who was VERY much child like into her teens TOTALLY blew away my room-mate and friend that was @ the house when I brought her here. You see my cousin was one those girls that didn’t look her age and if you see her now you would say the same thing…She looks frail N’ thin…VERY weak and her speech isn’t what it used to be and death looks like he has her in his grip…

I only wished she had told me about her pain sooner so I could offer some help, but there is NO time like the present, right? Hearing about her struggles and how she views herself was painful for me. So I know being called a slut and everything else would make her feel even worse about herself. I told her that everything will be fine because from today onward things will change. Of course I knew that I had to get my mom, aunt and her father together to let them know how she became the person we see standing in front of us today…

So yesterday I drove to my family home to pick her up and as luck would have it everyone was there…though I didn’t see the opportunity right away, I soon noticed my chance because as she came towards me, her father said to me KISHNA TALK SOME SENSE INTO THIS GIRL PLEASE? I smiled because for me that meant talking some sense into you and the rest of my family so we can help her…I told them the past is the past and we all need to move forward, but in order that to happen we need to understand the past N’ present so we can work towards a better future…I told them what she told me and their emotions ranged from shock, pain, anger and tears…You see my family is VERY hard and they don’t show LOVE like that so to see them react this way, it surprised the hell out of me. I was all set to let them have it for the way they have treated her because I felt that they added to her pain though I am not excusing some of the things she did, I feel like they are the adults that and should have taken her cries more seriously…

But to my surprise, a miracle took place and I felt sorry for them because they are like SO many others that don’t like to confront issues dealing with child molestation…I am SO happy that I made a CONSCIOUS DECISION to go against that popular ignorant behavior…How could they deny the things she say when she gives them vivid images of what took place with her the first time he raped her and his most recent attack on her this past Saturday? For the torn underwear to him penetrating her, they realized that her not sleeping home AND going out partying was her way of not loosing herself to the pain of molestation AND lack of support from a family that she has come to know as her safety net for SO many years…

I am happy to know that she reached out to me and a friend and I were able to arrange her first counseling session today. We all know that the longer someone is in isolation, the harder it becomes to reach them. It felt GREAT when the counselor that did the evaluation on her called me into the office and told me that she is VERY open and receptive which is a good sign of someone that wants some help…And it was @ the moment that I remembered the Monday night she slept @ my house and I had to deal with her seizures and ramblings because her mind seems to be going in SO many different directions @ once. I lost two days of personal time that I can’t get back and that’s fine with me because for the first time in about four years I think I can see some sunlight peeping through those dark clouds that has been plaguing her for such a long…And though the road will long and hard, I will pray for more sunshine AND send positive energy her way every chance I get…