¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

COMING OUT...AGAIN!



So I was talking with my ex boss the other day and as usual she was expressing her joy about me finding employment; and it is @ this time she said to me NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT MY SEXUALITY. Now I get why she said this to me because when I was working with her, both she and my supervisor knew that I am gay. However, she seems to forget that I NEVER told any of them, she knew because she has a best friend that is gay and we know of each other.
Nonetheless, I find this thing about sexuality SO interesting. Moreover, I find it STRANGE that there are persons SO interested in what I do sexually. Though I don’t dread my sexuality, I don’t feel a need to come out over AND over AGAIN! The thing about COMING OUT…AGAIN and to whom is one of the most pivotal AND personal decisions one will ever make. It's the first step in building relationships with family and friends that are based on honesty and openness, instead of the stressful and never-ending need to hide.
I find that BEING IN THE CLOSET is just that; it is a place of ISOLATION that has it many draw backs. Though a gay person knows that s/he isn’t the only gay person in the world, it is STILL a dangerous thing to let someone know about your sexuality. Though I am technically IN the closet, I am SURE that my shoes are peaking out. I guess it is like they say WITH AGE COMES…so this time I will NOT be dragged out like I was when I was 20. When I think about that time, I thank God that I found who I was and stayed strong in that because something like this can DEFINITELY break person. Even though I now live with the zeal AND enormous relief that I no longer have to suppress my sexual identity, I rather NOT discuss it with persons that can’t appreciate it. And when I say appreciate it, I mean learn to leave well enough alone…

8 comments:

  1. I don't know if there is such a thing as being re-closeted if so I believe it's an interesting phenomena but doesn't apply to your situation

    I do agree that in the society that we live in sexuality and professionalism aren't a mix and I agree with that mostly. So the new people don't need you to make an announcement but there is definitely nothing wrong with being [I am sure you agree]. I just feel that admission is taking a work relationship to a more personal deeper level than it has to be and only you can decide when that needs to happen - mostly never.

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  2. Have you ever noticed how we will run to buy a newspaper if the headline screams something about so-and-so being gay? A lot of people will claim to have a problem with homosexuality and yet never pass up an opportunity to forever discuss it.

    You might find it strange my gate-keeper that people are interested in what you do sexually, but I think some people find the topic titilating(?). I don't know if it's because the topic of sex and related matters are interesting to people in general?

    And yes, why should you be dragged out of the closet? I find it puzzling and don't understand how the fact that you are gay, personally impacts or change the life of a hetersexual person who constantly wants to discuss or dissect your sexuality.

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  3. It is important for people to be true who they and to be comfortable in their own skin. Having said this, we need to be mindful of societies we exist in,and the culture and belief system present therein. Our Caribbean societies are extremely homophobic and there is rampant marginalization and discrimination of gays.This is present in all facets of our society of which the workplace is no exception.Given this context and in the interest of self preservation one should refrain from announcing his/her
    sexual orientation.Though it has no bearing on one's abilities and competence and it and it is a private issue,there is just to much ignorance that permeates our society.
    If an individual's need to be genuine and authentic and true is overwhelming ,then that individual has to be prepared to deal with all that issues that being out at work will bring understanding the ignorance and homophobia that exists. I am for people doing what they think is in their best interest and what they are most comfortable with. In life we need to know what battles are worth fighting.

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  4. I feel u on this blog post man. I truly do!

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  5. Its a shame that society can be so ignorant. If you are the best man for the job who cares who you relate to in your own home. Thats your privacy and I am one that respects that. If everyone was allowed to be happy in this world....IT JUST MIGHT BE A BETTER PLACE TO RESIDE IN!!

    First of all, your boss would have gotten cursed out for asking me to keep my sexuality private. Another thing...what did she think you would do post an advertisement at your desk. I dont know many gay guys that spit it out like that...They dont hide, but they dont advertise either. WHATS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS. Glad you are able to express yourself. hmmm, might think of coming to the bahamas one day (^_^)

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  6. Yeah Ive heard of the some Carribean countries being homophobic. I wouldnt even let what that women said concern you. Ultimately, it is your life and you know what makes you comfortable. I don't believe when you come out to others that they you are COMING OUT multiple times. When you discover who you are and you tell other people THE FIRST TIME I believe that is coming out. After that, it is just you telling people about who you are. Stay strong in who you are.

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  7. I agree with you. It is totally up to u who u allow into ur personal business. Some people will always wonder tho and will do nothing to find out all they can. Thats so funny to me. They need to know what u do and how u do it so badly. But what actually comes from knowing the information. Does it help them sleep better at night knowing that im a gay man? lol! people shouldnt ask questions unless they really want an answer. and dont be mad @ the answer you recieve.

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  8. Let your mind go where you want to, but please don't come out of the closet unless you have something fabulous to wear...

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THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE...

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