¡HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

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¿TRICK OR TREAT?

FLIRTING…WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP

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A relationship usually means you're exclusive to one person, giving your heart and soul to your mate, at least within reason. We're supposed to feel strongly about that person; and that person only. But does the world stop turning because you're hitched? OF COURSE IT DOES NOT! Is it normal to stop looking only because your other half says so? It's normal for your lover to want you only to himself, but that shouldn't discard the possibility of sightseeing on the beautiful hills of MAN LAND? Looking and playful flirting can be considered healthy components of keeping a strong relationship going. However, when MOST men give an eye to another it is the equivalent of child that is NOT supposed to eat candy before supper…he'll want to do it even more, just because he ISN’T supposed to. I find that men tend to more sexual than women so when GAY men are involved things escalate to another level. But I feel that if they were to realize everything that followed flirting many would stop at the mere thought of it. The key aspect is to remember the LOOK, DON’T TOUCH code of ethics. If you see a sexy man wearing no shirt a pair of shorts and gym shoes, playing basketball, take it for what it's worth and enjoy the view. As long as it stays at that level, no harm done. Think of it as if you are window shopping, it is when you walk into the store to inquire about OR make the purchase is when you are in dangerous territory. I have to admit that there are men that I saw and I thought if it were a year earlier then they so would get it. But where I am in my life I am QUITE content AND happy so the thought of wasting precious energy on such things just tarnish a relationship that is way TOO important to me. For most of us SO hard to ignore that voice that says HE IS HOT & YOU MUST HAVE HIM. Because after you cum, then what? I say LET HUMAN NATURE TAKE IT’S COURSE & ALLOW THE FEELINGS TO BE JUST THAT FEELINGS, BECAUSE @ THE END OF THE DAY YOU DON’T WANT TO GET IN PROBLEMS BECAUSE OF FLIRTING GONE WRONG. IMAGINE YOUR PARTNER FLIRTING WITH SOMEONE ELSE, HOW WOULD THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? @ THE END OF IT ALL I HOPE THAT YOU ASSUME THE ROLE OF THE SIGHTSEER & FEAST YOUR EYES ON THE EYE CANDY OUT THERE…IT CAN BE GOOD FOR YOU & YOU CAN CERTAINLY AVOID THOSE TOOTH ACHES…

WRITE TO MARRY DAY

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WHAT IS CALIFORNIA PROPOSITION 8?

Proposition 8 (officially called the Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry Act) is an initiative on the November 2008 California voter ballot which, if passed, would alter the California Constitution defining marriage as between one man and one woman. If Proposition 8 passes same-sex marriage will be illegal in California. This is the first time voters will be asked to ban same-sex marriage in a state where gay couples already have won the right to wed. The original title of the measure was "California Marriage Protection Act," but it was changed to "Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry Act" by Attorney General Jerry Brown to accurately reflect what the true meaning of the measure.

CALIFORNIA GAY MARRIAGE PROMPTS INITIATIVE:

On May 15, 2008, in a 4-3 decision, California's Supreme Court ruled in favor of plaintiffs (comprised of gay rights group Equality California, almost two dozen gay couples, and the city of San Francisco), who argued that the 2000 law banning same-sex marriage in the state was discriminatory. The decision made California the second U.S. state to legalize gay marriage. Thousands of same-sex couples flocked to the altars. The ruling prompted an anti-gay marriage campaign, which resulted in Proposition 8.

WHO’S BEHIND PROPOSITION 8?

A conservative group of organizers with ties to the anti-gay group Focus on the Family placed Proposition 8 on the ballot. The initiative has gained very public support from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, California's Roman Catholic bishops and several evangelical ministries.

IF PROPOSITION 8 PASSES, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO EXISTING SAME-SEX MARRIAGES?  

California Attorney General Jerry Brown says that existing gay marriages would most likely remain legal even if Proposition 8 passes. "I believe that marriages that have been entered into subsequent to the [May 15] Supreme Court opinion will be recognized by the California Supreme Court," Brown told The Chronicle.

HOW YOU CAN HELP DEFEAT PROPOSITION 8:

You can help defeat Proposition 8 by donating to the campaign or volunteering at NoOnProp8.com.

THE STATE OF BEING...

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 If BEING comes to us from God and the verb TO BE is a STATE OF BEING and not an action verb. And People don’t say I DO HAPPY THAT IT’S MY BIRTHDAY, I DO CONFUSED ABOUT THIS MATH PROBLEM or I DO SAD THAT YOU’RE MOVING AWAY. They say I AM...when they talk about their current STATE OF BEING. SO IF OUR SEXUALITY IS PART OF OUR BEING & PEOPLE DO NOT SAY I DO STRAIGHT or I DO GAY. They say I AM STRAIGHT or I AM GAY. SO WHY WHEN WE SPEAK ABOUT OUR SEXUALITY, WE DESCRIBE HOW WE ARE RATHER THAN WHO WE ARE?

HAPPY EARTH~DAY ®‡ø

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Parts Of YOU

Enjoy the ride as YOU flow through the universe

For today YOU only become this age but once. 

For 364 days of out the year 

YOU struggle against the current of life 

Trying to do things in your own way

And today YOU can. 

I can go on and tell that YOU are a STRANGE person 

But YOU know that already. 

I can write about how INVISIBLE YOU are 

But what’s the point?

The ONLY thing I ask on this day,

Is that YOU LET YOURSELF BE SEEN

I want YOU to transform yourself 

As YOU get closer AND closer to man that YOU are becoming. 

STAND in front of yourself 

And thank YOU for being here for YOU. 
Feel the gratitude, attention, warmth, and support,

While noticing the sense of safety YOU feel 

As YOU surround YOU. 

Feel inspired, 

Share your innermost thoughts. 

YOU may be surprised at the feelings of peace 

When YOU feel safe enough to go deep into your soul 

And share yourself with YOU

YOU are

For life is but a memory of a memory

And it is time to unbind

All that has left YOU behind 

The dread of the nothing

That strikes fear in the heart of the hereafter

And beyond and before and after

And beyond the unimaginable

But YOU know all of this already…

YOU are the struggle

Between the NO nothing

And the KNOW nothing…

This I can assure YOU is NOT nothing,

So fly free

And touch the parts YOU that YOU can see…

tgk ©

 

WEEDS OF CHAOS (REFLECTIONS)

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Noel has asked me on a few occasions, HOW HAS MY LIFE CHANGED IN THE PAST YEAR? I would always give him an answer, but the answer didn’t come from my heart until now…I was watching Oprah the other day and she had a guest that was talking about standing on the shoulders of others to get where you ought to be and I realized that I now incorporate this notion in my life but that wasn’t always the case. For a LONG time I’ve been the GO-TO-GUY, the one that EVERYONE could count on to be there for them. And this was causing me MORE problems than I needed in my life. I realized that I was NOT taking care of myself and put ME first. Hence I made some CHANGES and did NOT allow this seed to grown into WEEDS OF CHAOS & DESTRUCTION. I am that person that has a UNIQUE perspective on life and the past year showed me that I was waiting on PEOPLE, PLACES & THINGS to change in order for me progress AND grow. Now I realized that if I wanted change I had to change. I had to REMOVE myself from the dysfunctional situations that invaded my PERSONAL space because of others. And today I can say that I have developed character because of the challenges that I faced. I realized that the lesson IS the journey AND it is up to me realize that I need to open my mind and take it all in or else it’ll destroy me. OVER THE PAST YEAR, I’VE EVOLVED INTO AN INCREDIBLE & FASCINATING HUMAN BEING & THAT’S ALL BECAUSE I CHOSE TO WEED OUT THE CHAOS & PUT MY ENERGY WHERE IT IS NEEDED MOST. SO WHETHER IT IS YOUR LOVER, FAMILY OR FRIEND, YOU CANNOT DO A SINGLE THING IF THEY COME TO YOU MESSED UP & CONFUSED. IT IS MY OPINION THAT WE ALL NEED EACH OTHER, BUT HOW MANY OF US REALLY NEED EACH OTHER?

¡HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY!

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It is said that one day for ‘God’ is a thousand years for us and today as I celebrate my FIRST year anniversary with Noel, this saying holds SO much truth. This felt like a long time coming and @ the same time it still feels like we are meeting for the first time. I wrote a blogentry exactly one year ago to the day asking questions that in a few hours later gave me hope in the possibility of NOT just finding someone, but finding THE one. I have always prayed that one day I would meet a certain man that would have the important qualities that I hope for. This man I created in my mind has materialized into being and I cannot express how much LOVE I have for him. It is as if we were made for each other because our lives run parallel with each other. We have almost the same life story, the same woes, and the same problems. We even have so many similar characteristics and many things about us are the same. Before I met him, many things contributed to making my life miserable and sad. I am positive person, but as I grew older, negativism AND pessimism had found me. When I met him, everything changed. He has brought meaning, positivism AND inspiration to my life. Our partnership hasn't been weakened AND destroyed by NEEDS, EXPECTATIONS, WANTS, CLINGING, INSECURITIES, CONTROL  JEALOUSIES and other ego-based imperfections that plague us. In fact it is MY belief that we have thrived AND is celebrating what I am sure will be the first of MANY anniversaries because of those things. I say this because the foundation of OUR relationship is built on an UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for the other; anchored by the FREEDOM to be who WE are, without false pretense. WE know EXACTLY how to express OUR SEXUALITY which is one of ‘God's’ gifts that creates feelings of divine oneness, PASSION that we cannot deny; JOY that goes beyond anything that exists in this world and LOVE that keeps us. SO many gay relationships fall apart and I feel that this happens because SO many of us are NOT honest AND real with each other. I believe that because of who we are is the reason WE have transcended everything we've experienced in the past. I get that we are a rarity, but we are nonetheless…& I THANK ‘GOD’ THAT I CAN CELEBRATE THIS DAY WITHOUT FEAR OR TREPIDATION…HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY, I LOVE YOU…

¿WHO IS THIS MAN?

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Have you ever been taken aback, rendered speechless AND captivated by someone all @ the same time? I have…The other day Noel and I were grocery shopping and as we were done, I walked to the cashier and placed my items on the counter. After doing so I looked up and caught a glimpse of a man that seemed to stop time for a moment. He TOTALLY had me and wasn’t going to let go and I did NOT want him to…it didn’t occurred to me that I was enthralled by someone that wasn’t Noel, it felt NATURAL like I was looking @ the spiritual being that I was going to be with for the rest of my life. So imagine how I felt when I refocused my gaze and realized that this man was none other MY Noel. My heart smiled as I felt the presence of him wash all over me. It felt SO good to have this experience because it made me see that he is NOT a fluke OR coincidence. He was sent here on a mission to LOVE, HONOR & CHERISH me…he is that song with NO beginning OR end…he is that element that I crave with an EQUAL measure of fear AND fascination. Seeing him again just gives me a DEEPER and PROFOUND appreciation for the sacredness of OUR union. I LOVE the fact that he is apart of the plan that WE prepared before entering the Earth's plane…I LOVE YOU & I THANK GOD THAT YOU ARE IN LIFE…¿WHO IS THIS MAN?

DISARMING THE KNOW-IT-ALL

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Most of us have encountered a person in our lives who can accurately be referred to as a know-it-all. This person seems to know everything about anything that gets brought up and tends to dominate the conversation. They don't take well to being questioned, and they have a hard time ever admitting that they were wrong. Being around a know-it-all is inevitably tiring because there is no shared power between the two of you. Rather, you become an audience member to this person's need to be the center of attention. Attention and respect are probably the two things this person most longs for, and at some point in their lives, they learned that knowing it all was the way to get those needs met. Over time, they have become stuck in this pattern, regardless of the fact that it is no longer working. They may feel afraid of the experience of listening, being receptive, or learning something new, because it's so unfamiliar. On the one hand, when we see the childlike need underneath the know-it-all's mask of confidence, we feel compassion for the person, and we may tolerate their one-sided approach to conversation out of a desire not to hurt their feelings. On the other hand, we may be feeling drained and tempted to avoid this person altogether. In the middle of these two possible ways of feeling, we may actually like this person and wish for a closer relationship. If we come from a place of kindness, we might attempt to bridge the gap that this person's habitual way of relating creates. Simply expressing a desire to be closer may open their heart, and give you a chance to ask for what you need in the relationship-a chance to contribute.

KEEPING IT ALL IN PERSPECTIVE…

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If Earth's population was shrunk into a village of just 100 people-with all the human ratios existing in the world still remaining-what would this tiny, diverse village look like? That's exactly what Phillip M. Harter, a medical doctor at the Stanford University School of Medicine, attempted to figure out. This is what he found:

57 would be Asian

21 would be European

14 would be from the Western Hemisphere

8 would be African

52 would be female

48 would be male

70 would be nonwhite

30 would be white

70 would be non-Christian

30 would be Christian

89 would be heterosexual

11 would be homosexual

6 people would possess 59 percent of the entire world's wealth, and all 6 would be from the United States.

80 would live in substandard housing

70 would be unable to read

50 would suffer from malnutrition

1 would be near death

1 would be pregnant

1 would have a college education

1 would own a computer

I thought this was interesting and wanted to share this with you because as I read this I thought to myself that… If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep...you are richer than so many persons in this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace you are among the worlds wealthy. If you woke up this morning with more health than illness...you are more fortunate than the many who will not survive this week. If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of a lot of people in the world. If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death...you are fortunate, quite a number of people in the world can't. If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful... you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not. If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder...you are blessed because you can offer a healing touch…I GUESS @ THE END OF IT ALL IT IS ALL ABOUT KEEPING IT IN PERSPECTIVE…

THE HETERO~PAPARAZZI

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So I started a new job yesterday and of course there are persons that want to know about me. Where you worked before? How old are you? Are you married? Do you have any kids? But the one question that has yet to be asked is about my sexuality...How LONG do you think that'll take? I am in NO way shape OR form ashamed of MY sexuality, in fact I would shout it out from the roof tops if I felt that it would bring some change. But alas I know that I am a private person and don't feel the need to put myself out there for NO one's curiousity. I just found it interesting how SO many heteros are EXTREMELY concerned about the amount of pussy that I crush (or lack thereof). NO matter anyways I am happy with who I am and I won't change that for anyone...BUT JUST OUT TYPICAL HETERO FASHION HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE FOR THE PEANUT GALLERY TO START SIPPING ABOUT ME IF THEY AREN'T ALREADY?

CUTTING CORDS (MEN ARE LIKE APPLES)

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It is my belief that MEN are like APPLES on trees. The best ones are @ the top, but the boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling AND getting hurt. Instead, they get the rotten apples from the ground that aren’t as good. But easy. So the apples up top think something is wrong with them when in reality they’re amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who’s brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. So many of us has had our fair share of ROTTEN apples and for some reason many of us seem to keep them so near AND dear to our hearts when they need to be processed AND released. IT IS ALL ABOUT A SENSE OF CLOSURE & CUTTING EMOTIONAL CORDS…In our relationships we are constantly exchanging energy that can become a chord connecting us. This energetic cord forms just below the breastbone and can remain long after a relationship has ended. This unbroken cord may leave an open channel between you and him, through which emotions and energy can continue to flow. Besides the fact that this can limit the amount of closure you can experience in a relationship, letting this cord remain intact can leave you with a continued sense of sadness while creating feelings of lethargy as your own energy is sapped from you. Cutting the cord can help you separate yourself from old baggage, unnecessary attachments, and release you from connections that are no longer serving you. Finding and cutting unwanted cords is a simple, gentle process that is best done alone and when you are relaxed. It is important that you are strong in your intention to release the chord between you and someone else. When you are ready, visualize or sense the chords that are connecting you to other people. Run your fingers through the cords to separate them until you find the cord you wish to sever. There is no need to worry, because the chord you need to sever will feel just right. When you have found it, determine where the cut should be made and then visualize the cord being cleanly cut. Afterwards, if you feel that cutting the chord has left spaces in your soul, then visualize those spaces being filled with a healing sunlight. This process is GOOD in that it can free you from a relative OR lover that NO longer serves a meaningful purpose. Though you are doing this process it is IMPORTANT to note that you are NOT severing the relationship, you are severing the chords that are NO longer serving you both. In any case, cutting a relationship cord should always be viewed as a positive and nurturing act. By cutting the cords that no longer need to be there, you are setting yourself and others free from the ties that bind.

¡GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY!

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When you find yourself facing obstacles that appear to be blocking you from your goals, it is important to try not to get discouraged. It can be easy to feel STUCK or that LIFE is creating circumstances preventing you from getting what you want. And while it is easy to look at everyone and everything outside of ourselves for the problem, perhaps even wanting to "get rid" of the person, object, or circumstance we may feel is blocking us, sometimes the best course of action to take may be to look inside ourselves first. It is amazing how often we can get in our own way without even being aware that we are doing so. Even though we truly want to succeed, there are many reasons why we may sometimes block our own efforts. It may be that we are afraid to succeed, so we subconsciously create circumstances to keep ourselves stuck. Or it may even be that we are afraid that we will succeed, so we block ourselves by making the achievement of our goals more difficult than they really are. We may even approach our goals in a way that keeps creating the same unsuccessful results. If you believe that you've been standing in your own way, you may want to take a piece of paper and record how you've done so. Write down the choices you've made that have hindered your efforts and the fears that may have prompted you to make these decisions.  Take note of any thoughts and feelings that arise. It is important to be gentle and compassionate during this process. Try not to blame yourself for getting in your own way. Remember the choices we make always are there to serve us, until it is time to let them go. When you are finished, throw the paper away while setting an intention that you are getting rid of any obstacles you've created to block yourself. You can then let yourself start again with a clean slate. Doubts and fears are going to be natural, but with this new awareness, you should be able to prevent yourself from subconsciously thwarting yourself. Besides, now that you've decided to get out of your own way, the part of you that has always wanted to succeed can now do so.

YOU OUGHTA KNOW

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YOU OUGHTA KNOW is a Grammy-winning song written by Alanis Morissette and Glen Ballard, and produced by Ballard for Morissette's third album Jagged Little Pill (1995). The song, the lyrics of which describe Morissette's fouled relationship with an unnamed lover (later identified as David Coulier aka the dude from Full House) introduced her harsh, angst-ridden lyrics to the public. I chose this video NOT only because I LOVE this woman to death but for the fact that she is having a concert in my country and I cannot afford to go. Nonetheless, I am sure she will rock the house. I LOVE this song SO much and the album is DEFINITELY one of my top 10 favorite. This video is SO Freudian and it is PERFECT in that it showed that there is NOTHING like a woman scorned. This timeless classic will live on forever…

¿IS THE GAY "PERCEPTION" REAL?

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There are a number of GAY men who are doing everyday things going everywhere, but the world act as if they don’t exist. We live in a world where EVERYONE is DIFFERENT, yet if a GAY man is NOT an activist OR openly gay he is thought of as an anomaly OR a glitch in the PERCEIVED GAY FORMULA. BUT IS THIS THE CASE? Not every GAY man has to let the world know that he is into men NOR does he have to hide who he is. I get that in order for us to get some sort of understanding about who OR what the gay man is, there has to be an idea of who he is. Hence the problem because the “PERCEPTION” is that ALL gay men are effeminate AND unmanly. But is it rational OR fair to put restrictions on a GAY man’s manhood because society feels that there are certain lines men shouldn’t cross? How can one put the notion out there that is OKAY to be GAY as long your manhood isn’t in question? Something like this affects the GAY man’s ability to express himself freely without fear of being referred to in derogatory terms. And why shouldn’t he? An effeminate man is considered as someone that lacks courage AND strength which are the things that is said that a man needs. So I ask again, IS THE GAY PERCEPTION REAL? I SAY NO! I say this because there are MANY GAY men hiding in plain sight that does fit perceived mold. I guess that is all fine AND dandy because would a masculine “PERCEPTION” have a POSITIVE impact on the gay community? I say that masculinity AND femininity are real they're just shorthand for features we pick out with language. Hence NO one's sexual orientation OR identification is a stake. The only thing @ stake is some “IDEALIZATION” about characteristics picked out by language which are NOTHING more than linguistic markers. So how about some clarity? A man is a man NO matter how what one may see OR feel he is about. The “PERCEPTION” is how some GAY men exaggerate a performance of one gender and apply it to the other. The thing is that this atypical feature shouldn’t be seen as something typical because it is NO way shape OR form close to what being GAY is all about. I mean what significance can come from a man expressing himself in a typical feminine fashion? There is NOTHING typical about being gay. We're homosexuals, because that word says that we are attracted to the same sex. So in trying to DISSOCIATE sexual identity from gender identity is a tricky and an unfruitful task. They both depend on each other and are parallel…SO WHEN IT COMES TO THE GAY “PERCEPTION” IT IS IMPORTANT FOR US NOT BE NAÏVE ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE LABELS THAT IS APPLIED TO HOMOSEXUALS. MOREOVER, WE DO OURSELVES HARM BY TRYING TO IGNORE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS & DOING THIS IS LIKE TRYING TO IGNORE GRAVITY. THE “PERCEPTION” IS WAY OFF THE MARK BECAUSE GAY MEN & WOMEN ARE REAL PEOPLE WITH REAL, DEEP & ABIDING EMOTIONS ROOTED IN SHAME N’ FEAR ALL BECAUSE OF THE NOTIONS WHAT THEY THINK WE ARE. I DON’T KNOW HOW SOCIETY EXPECTS TO UNDERSTAND US IF THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND THEMSELVES…MAKES ONE WONDER IF THE “STRAIGHT” PERCEPTION IS REAL BECAUSE THEY WORK SO HARD TO ENSURE THAT WE DON’T GO AROUND MASQUERADING LIKE THEM…

¿WHY IS GAY A DIRTY WORD?

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There is a real need for us as a GAY community to RE-ESTABLISH ourselves, RE-ESTABLISH the basis for who and what we are as a humans as well as RE-ESTABLISH where we are going. In these times we have to recognize that we stand on the shoulders of those who have walked this road before. They had clarity about who and what they were before epidemic of HIV/AIDS destroyed the community; and it is up to us to pick up the mantle and forged ahead. Do you remember that childhood rhyme sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me? Well that is true, only it is the TOTAL opposite for us. We have been wrongly socialized to think that words could not hurt and therefore have not paid enough attention to words and symbols and have left us defenseless to the continuing emotional assault on our psyche and spirit that is unleashed by the power of the word GAY. We have to decode our homophobic environment and untangle the deep web of lies AND untruths that has kept down for SO long. By manipulating AND directing the mental perception through word redefinition, the masses benefited from demonizing AND scorning the lives of SO many GAY people. For as long as I can remember, they have sought to create an ever expanding HETERO reality OR world. They were only able to accomplish this through giving birth to FEAR that is considered GOD’S LAW. Nonetheless, I say we can RECLAIM the TRUE beauty AND meaning of being GAY. The nature of homosexuality and the people who are GAY are vast. Homosexuality is what links us as ONE humanity. It also connects us to the ONE universal consciousness that many call God. I read somewhere that communications between unequal people in society can NEVER be equal AND the language interaction between GAY AND STRAIGHT folks within the existing of the sexual order is essentially unequal. Society interacts with us from a functionally superior position AND we respond to them from a socially inferior position. Even as I write this society is telling GAY people what to do in ALL aspect of their lives. So by redefining the meaning of GAY AND STRAIGHT we can CHANGE the way things are. Why we continue to engage in senseless word games around whether we should be calling ourselves GAY, HOMOSEXUALS, PANSEXUAL, TRI-SEXUAL or the MANY other names in the sexuality handbook defies time AND circumstance given our power as human beings. It was precisely because of this; society REDEFINED key terms such as GAY so that we would NOT realize the power of HOMOSEXUALITY. Rather than continue to define ourselves according to misrepresentations and falsifications within society, we should go back to the source of our own humanity and see what we called ourselves before opinions AND fear took over this planet. As GAY people we should ALWAYS seek to aspire to the TRUTH when it comes to matters as critical to the future and survival of the community…THE WORD GAY REPRESENTS OUR RIGHT TO SHARE IN THE BOUNTY & BEAUTY OF A WORLD THAT IS SO VAST & DIFFERENT. THE FACT THAT THIS WORD IS SEEN AS SOMETHING BAD SHOWS THAT THE WORLD IS AN UNSTABLE PLACE FOR US & THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE. IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND WHY SO MANY OF US ARE STRUGGLING FOR SURVIVAL, WE NEED TO LOOK DEEP WITHIN OURSELVES & FIND THE ANSWERS. WHILST MOST OF US GET INTO EMPTY DEBATES ABOUT OUR SEXUALITY WE MUST REALIZE THAT NO CAN RIDE OUR BACKS UNLESS IT IS BENT & THIS IS SUCH A SIMPLE PROFOUND TRUTH…IF ONLY WE COULD GRASP THAT WE ARE NOT CURSED BECAUSE WE GAY, THEY CURSE US WE HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL, REAL & HONEST INSIDE OF US…

FINDING YOUR EQUAL...

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Sometimes we want LOVE so bad that we will do just anything to get OR keep it. From what I know about relationships, most of us either stay with someone in the HOPES that he/she will learn to LOVE us OR we run from here to there LOOKING for something to stick. And in the interim we are here fighting what seems to insurmountable odds that just get the better of us. ARE WE DOOMED TO FAIL BECAUSE THIS IS JUST THE WAY LOVE N’ LIFE GOES OR COULD IT BE SOMETHING ELSE? I say that it all of these and SO much more. However, I think that the main thing we are NOT looking @ is the fact that we are NOT SEEKING persons that are OUR equal. It is my PERSONAL belief that it is VITALLY important to date someone who's in your league and I don't mean that in a snobbish way. I say this because until recently, my relationships were very one-sided. And I like to think of myself as educated, a risk taker, very funny and a person who always challenges himself, along with being a creative spirit. But I found myself dating men I had nothing in common with. THANK GOD MOST OF THEM NEVER MADE IT TO THAT PLACE…Nonetheless, I would be in these relationships where we were COMPLETE opposites when it came to education, taste in movies and music, and careers and though they MOSTLY had NO creative aspirations, they didn’t have ANY aspirations @ all. Often, we couldn't even hold a conversation that lasted over 5 minutes. However they were not lacking in some attributes that I found attractive like being romantic, kind, and passionate but still it wasn't enough to build into anything permanent. After years of this routine, I had to stop and process. WAS IT ME? WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? WHEN AM I GOING TO GET WHAT I DESERVE? HOW IS THAT I KEEP ATTRACTING MEN THAT I HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON WITH? I had no problems with my friends. We had a lot in common, sometimes talking for hours at a time. The answer came to me…in order for me to find happiness in my relationships; I needed to find the medium. Hence I had to STOP dating who could NEVER measure up and date men that had the qualities that I value in life. I found that I need to be challenged in order for me grow and the men that I’ve met didn’t give the RIGHT kind of challenge that I needed. Hence dating someone who is not your equal should never be an option. If you're not careful, you can end up with someone who is not OR will never be in the same place you are. SO NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS THAN YOUR EQUAL…WHILE THIS MAY BE SEEN AS CONCEITED OR ARROGANT, CHOOSING TO FIND YOUR EQUAL IS THE MOST POWERFUL ACT OF LOVE THERE IS…

21 DUMB REASONS TO CHEAT ON HIM...

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1. Because you are GAY.
2. All your friends have done it and you don't want to be left out.
3. It's just sex AND you want to live a little.
4. Your boyfriend thinks he might be bisexual. 
5. You have a sex addiction. If that's not the case, it's still a good excuse to use should you ever get caught. 
6. You can't remember the last time you had GREATsex with him. 
7. Wrong number - but the voice on the other end of the line sounds so nice...You meet up for a quickie. 
8. The man is just so gorgeous - it would be a crime not to... 
9. You are on a diet and more sex you can get will burn the calories. 
10. Revenge if he cheated on you first. 
11. Every man should have some secrets. 
12. You are in a long-distance relationship and what he doesn’t won’t hurt him. 
13. You're stressed about your job, your friends are acting up and he won't stop nagging. 
14. You want to punish your partner. That's all. 
15. The other man has a nice place AND money to spear…and you've always wanted to get dirty with the finer things in life. 
16. You don’t LOVE him but don’t want to leave him. 
17. You're in the mood for an adventure. 
18. You're on a solo business trip and feeling lonely. 
19. You're nearing a mid-life OR quarter-life crisis. 
20. His sex drive is on cruise control. 
21. His dick is TOO small and you need so much more…

¿BLAME KATY PERRY?

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The other day there was something on the news that caught my attention; there was this report about girls that are barely in their teens exploring their sexuality. Now I thought this was interesting ESPECIALLY since I learn about a new term in the sexuality dictionary called HETEROFLEXIABLE. This simply means that a STRAIGHT individual who is has/or is not opposed to having sexual relations with the same sex. This type of sexual behavior is PREDOMINANTLY found in straight females who enjoy making out with other females. BUT IS THIS REALLY NEW…MORE IMPORTANTLY WHO IS THE BLAME? It is believed that the female’s sexual behavior is more influenced by cultural, situational AND even educational factors. So given that today there is more visibility of same-sex behavior, its likely there is an increase in young women experimenting with same sex behavior and talking openly about their experiments. It has certainly always been true that teen girls are quick to pick up on the latest fads. Yet it seems that NO one give one ounce of concern about young girls today following Miley Cyrus as long as she doesn’t sing about sexuality which is a NORMAL thing @ that stage of anyone’s life. I applauded Katy for singing this song; moreover I LOVE the fact that it is a HUGE hit. This shows us that there is NOTHING unhealthy about a female exploring HER femininity. ISN’T IT INTERESTING HOW ANY OTHER LABEL OTHER THAN HETEROSEXUAL DISTRESSES THE MASSES? Labels are such a BIG thing in our culture and before a child is born, everyone wants to know if it's going to be a boy or girl ASSUMING that their sexuality will be what the world says it should. But life works in a way that what we think should happen doesn’t always go according to that ideology. So the CONSTANT worrying about a person’s sexual orientation is an exercise in futility. Monitoring OR noticing signs of GAYNESS should just be seen as a NORMAL part of finding out about the sexual-self. Puberty is already a time of turbulence. Traditionally, we've tried to get a handle on human sexuality by trying to fit everything into just a few simple categories, but it will NEVER be that simple. Katy Perry’s song just shows us that we NEED to rediscover the TRUE human development. I GET THAT THIS IS SCARY, BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE THINK OF THEIR KIDS AS HETEROSEXUAL; & ANY DIVERGENCE IS DAUNTING, EVEN FOR THE MOST LIBERAL OF US. BUT MORE & MORE WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS, BECAUSE THE VARIOUS TYPE OF SEXUALITY IS WAY TOO IMPORTANT TO BE CAST ASIDE & OVER LOOKED BY THE HETERO WORLD.

HAPPY EARTH~DAY HERATIO

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It is said that GRACE EXISTS INSIDE OF ALL OF US & AROUND US. It is MERELY our inner beauty that radiates outward, touching everyone we meet; and that is how I see you my friend. You are that unseen hand that comes from the divine, rising up what I need most. When I am lost OR looking for that EXTRA boost of confidence I can ALWAYS count on you to be there for me. You are that rain bringing relief to drought-ridden farm in the lives of so many. You represent the LOVE that resides between two people, that gift OR check that comes unexpectedly in the mail…You are that thriving element in a world of dualities AND challenges that I admire. The way you approach the hurdles of life says a lot about the man you are. I LOVE that you have NO problem defining who OR what you are in this world; and it is because of this I SINCERELY WISH YOU A HAPPY EARTH~DAY! FOR I KNOW THAT THE WORLD IS BETTER PLACE BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE…

HAPPY EARTH~DAY WAYNE

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I want to start off by wishing you a HAPPY EARTH~DAY! This is your day and I hope you enjoy it to the fullest. I sincerely hope that you use this day to reflect on the year that passed AND the one that has started…LORD KNOWS I HAVE! I find it interesting how we find ourselves @ the cross-roads of time and the decisions that we make today will have an effect on our tomorrow. NONETHELESS, you and I both know that I am YOUR friend AND will always be and you cannot deny that. There are times when you are called upon to be someone you are NOT and that isn’t something I am prepared to do and for that I am sorry. You know that I will be honest with you and you know that isn’t what you want in your life right now…To know that we are in this place where things aren’t things says that you do NOT understand OR know me…I will be BOLD and say I don’t think that you care to. Nonetheless, I wish ONLY good things for you…from the moment we met that was my intension. It is SO interesting how as we age we STILL look for others approval in order to feel alive…human even…but what does it give us? You are @ a point in your life when you should question why, when AND how. This realization needs to happen for you before you loose EVERYTHING that you hold near and dear to you. For some odd reason getting the short end of the stick has such a tight a hold on your psyche that it feels like the REAL thing; but it is NOT! Hence I feel that YOU need to heal what hurts AND free up the negative energy that is keeping you in the same place year after year. The longer you sit on things, the harder it is to work through, and the more likely it is that you will be forced to acknowledge it as it makes itself known to you in ways you can't predict. Rather than waiting for this to happen, I hope that you can empower yourself by identifying the pain AND resolving to take action toward healing it. I know that the VERY thought of this brings up feelings of resistance, especially since your life is fine on the surface. I know that it is HARD for you to dig up the past and go into it unless you are being seriously inconvenienced by the hurt. BUT WHAT CHOICE DO YOU HAVE? The thing is, when we are carrying the burden of our unprocessed pain, sooner OR later, it will inconvenience us. So it pays to be brave AND proactive, so you can save yourself a lot of future suffering AND free up the energy that is tied up in keeping the pain down. It is time to that you walk with your head up, with a smile on your face. In order for you to get there, you need to make some decisions. Whatever path you choose, resolve to go deep into the pain AND set yourself free. Remember, it is never too late in life to heal what hurts, and there is never a better time than now. So as you read this and go about your life please remember that my thoughts are just that MY thoughts, I only say what I say because I see what is to come but I realize that you can’t make someone want to do good by themselves…they have to want it…I believe that all life is predestined and yours and mine follow that path…I believe that sometimes you have to let someone go in order for them to come back…So take responsibility for fulfilling your destiny…when you do you will see that you NOT only take fate into your own hands, but also you become the hands of your own fate. Doorways inevitably open for you to step through, and every choice you make will lead you to where you need to be…SO whether YOU THINK I AM ON YOUR SIDE OR NOT, WE BOTH KNOW THAT I AM…I AM ONE THE MOST REAL, HONEST & OPEN HUMAN YOU WILL EVER MEET IN YOUR LIFE…SO AS YOU ENJOY YOUR DAY, PLEASE MAKE THIS THE START OF ACCEPTING & MAKING THAT STEP TOWARDS MAKING YOURSELF WHOLE…YOU WILL BE SUCH A BETTER MAN IF YOU DO…