TSA REGULATIONS & ETIQUETTE FOR THE GAY MALE TRAVELER

Tweet

In lieu of the Thanksgiving holiday, everyone seems to be complaining about the Transportation Security Administration's pat downs or nudie body scans. But let's face facts:

1) If you're a fit or hung (or both) gay guy you want as many people to see you in that X-ray as possible.

2) Getting a pat down can be loads of fun!

So in that spirit of holiday sharing, Gay.com's crack editorial team developed some sexy suggestions for gay behavior if you're traveling through an airport security check this weekend.

Start by maneuvering your way into the line with the hunkiest TSA agent.

•Moaning and grunting during pat down may be hard to control, but please refrain from addressing airport security as "Daddy."

•Various piercings and metal body jewelry may trigger sensors and initiate the pat down process. We recommend an 0 gauge frenulum ring.

•While tight clothing may be visually appealing when cruising in a crowd, it lessens the need for hand-to-body security checks. Try no underwear and loose linen slacks for a tactile surprise!

•C-rings are both an overkill and a disappointment to any man who realizes that bulge is being assisted.

•If, during pat down, cardio-vascular congestion should ensue, a modest shrug and a lightly whispered, "A thousand pardons," will suffice.

•If the officer is enjoying the process as much as you are, request a private room to continue the examination.

•If you tend toward quick-rising reactions or pre-sex emissions, reconsider the linen pants.

SOURCE: GAY DOT COM