@ A CATHOLIC CHURCH NEAR YOU...

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This Sunday is going to be a pretty important day. Yes, it's the series finale of Lost. But in the religious world, it's also known as Pentecost Sunday, and for the Rainbow Sash Movement, that's a day dedicated to challenging the institutional Catholic Church's opposition to gay rights.

Their plan? Well, much like their name asserts, scores of LGBT people of faith around the globe will show up to their local Catholic cathedral, dawn a rainbow sash during the liturgy, and try to spark dialogue with both people in the pews, and local clergy, including bishops. Some may even try to take Communion, which in the past has worked out well (Los Angeles, Detroit), and at other times has worked out not so well (Minneapolis/St. Paul).

As the Rainbow Sash Movement notes, the goal is not to protest church services, but to show religious leaders that LGBT people exist within their parishes, and won't stand to be made invisible any longer.

"We can no longer bury our heads and remain silent," the Rainbow Sash Movement writes, "nor can we promote the ideal that somehow our own spiritual comfort is more important than civil rights of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender community."

The thinking goes that if people of faith know we're in their midst, it's a whole lot harder to use theology as a wedge to divide us. Of course, tell that to a few Catholic bishops, particularly the head of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Cardinal Francis George. The good Cardinal doesn't really appreciate the Rainbow Sash Movement, or their work to get people talking about sexual orientation and religion.

TONI BRAXTON PART III

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The Heat is the third studio album by American R&B singer–songwriter Toni Braxton, released in the United States on April 25, 2000 by LaFace Records. This album marked Braxton's departure from her ballads in favor of a more urban sound. Most of the songs (including the nearly instrumental "The Art of Love") were written and produced by Braxton and her husband Keri Lewis (the former member of Mint Condition), two ballads were penned by Diane Warren, and collaborations featured rappers Dr. Dre and Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes. The album opened at number two on the Billboard 200 selling 199,000 units its first week. To date, the album has been certified double platinum by the RIAA and has sold over two million copies in the U.S.

 

"He Wasn't Man Enough" is the lead single from Toni Braxton's third studio album, The Heat (2000). It reached number two on the Billboard Hot 100 the week of May 6, 2000, where it stood for several weeks, as well as number one on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs for four weeks. The song earned Braxton her fourth Grammy Award for Best Female R&B Vocal Performance in 2001.

The video directed by Bille Woodruff from February 25-26, 2000^[3], starts out with Braxton as an animated superhero who unzips her shirt to ward off villains. Next, she is shown dancing in a red cylinder-like hallway. The shot turns to a club where her ex (played by Braxton's husband) and his current wife (played by Robin Givens) walk in. Givens looks Braxton up and down and flashes her wedding ring at her. Braxton scoffs because she'd had him first and knows what a cheat he is.

The video flashes between Braxton dancing in the hallway and the club scene. At one point, the two women are in the bathroom of the club and Braxton lets her know why she dumped her husband. They set up an act where Braxton goes into a private room with him, and gets him to drop his pants; all the while he is on camera, and everyone at the club, including his current wife, is watching. At the end, Givens busts in and throws the ring at him, and the two women give each other a high five.

The video also features cameo appearances by Rodney Chester, Dawnn Lewis, and Tamar Braxton.

 

"Just Be a Man About It" is the second single from Toni Braxton's third studio album, The Heat (2000). It was released as a DVD single in the United States on November 21, 2000 and in Canada on February 6, 2001, including the music video for the song as well as the video for "Spanish Guitar".

The single's music video, directed by Bille Woodruff, opens with Braxton's boyfriend (played by rapper Dr. Dre, who also provides additional vocals to the track) leaving a Hawthorne, California strip club named Bare Elegance, accompanied by a woman. He stops at a payphone to call up Braxton, who is in their apartment. She looks happy at first, but as he tells her not to wait up for him that night alleging he needs space, her facial expression suddenly changes. The following scenes show Braxton wandering about the apartment, talking on the phone, standing next to the balcony, lying on a couch, and throwing objects such as a picture frame containing a photo of Dre and vases. At one point, Dre hangs up on Braxton, which infuriates her. Toward the end of the video, a man (Q-Tip) shows up to visit Braxton; they hug each other and proceed to cuddle on the couch, much to Dre's annoyance by the time he arrives home. When Dre questions Braxton about the man, she remains indifferent, causing him to give her the finger and then walk away.

 

"Spanish Guitar" is the third single from Toni Braxton's third studio album, The Heat (2000). Released in 2000, the song was written by Diane Warren and produced by David Foster, the same team behind Braxton's 1996 smash hit "Un-Break My Heart". It was never released as a commercial single in the United States, causing the song to chart outside the top ninety-five of the Billboard Hot 100. This song remains a fan favorite as Braxton often performs the dance version live.

In 2010, the song was recorded by flamenco guitarist Benise (with Kimberley Locke providing vocals) for his album also entitled "Spanish Guitar".

The video opens with Braxton floating on top of the water. The scene quickly changes to a crowded cafe and centers on a Latin man, Kamar de los Reyes, playing the guitar. The scene changes to a modern white and red room where Braxton, wearing a red dress, sings her longing to be in his arms. There are several shots of him playing the guitar than the guitar morphing into Braxton in his arms. Towards the end, he and Braxton have a dance scene together. This video was directed by Billie Woodruff, who also directed the videos for "Un-Break My Heart", "He Wasn't Man Enough", and "Just Be a Man About It".

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: HOMOPHOBIA, THE REAL DEAL…

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I THINK THAT THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST PIECES I’VE EVER POSTED ON THIS BLOG. READING THE ENTRY AGAIN TOOK TO THAT PLACE & TIME WHEN I HAD TO DEAL WITH THE HOMOPHOBIA OF MY FAMILY & THE PLACE THAT I WORKED. THE FEAR THAT SOCIETY FEELS WHEN IT COMES TO US SHOULD SHOWS US THAT WE ARE A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH…IF ONLY WE COULD SOMEHOW CONQUER OUR OWN HOMOPHOBIC FEARS…

If you look up "HOMOPHOBIA" in the dictionary, it will probably tell you that it is the fear of homosexuals. While I take issue with this definition, it is nevertheless true that in many ways, it really is a fear of homosexuality or at least homosexuals. But if one analyzes what a phobia is one would see that it doesn’t correlate with the meaning of homophobia. Phobia refers to a mental illness related to fear. Therefore, so-called homophobia should refer to a mental illness related to the fear of homosexuals or homosexuality. It is hard to imagine people being scared of homosexuals. Fear need not follow from hatred or vice versa.

For instance, one could fear riding a motorcycle, but one need not hate motorcycles because one is scared of riding one. If homophobia was treated as a phobia countless of MEN and WOMEN that are SAME-SEX-PRONE would be living lives that were peaceful and humane. But society does the opposite of what the word HOMOPHOBIA truly stands for, they confront and try to destroy that which they fear. Homophobia is widespread in on this planet; especially in the Caribbean Nations with Jamaica being the ‘FRONT RUNNER’ in this game of hatred. This hatred touches the lives of many, not just in Jamaica but all over the world. There are countless persons world-wide that commit suicide yearly because of being a direct victim of how homosexuals are treated by society. When one lives with rejection day after day, and society discounts one's value constantly, it is difficult to maintain perspective and realize that the problem is OTHER’S perceptions, not one's own.

When you live your life thinking of believing that the SEXUAL side of yourself is unnatural; how then do you cope? Homosexuality is found in all cultures and cultural norms seem to have little influence on the incidence of homosexual behavior. So the claim that it isn't natural becomes rather difficult to support. There are many things that go on in society that we would consider disgusting, but we don't outlaw them just because of that. So it’s US VS. THEM! And as difficult as it seems to admit society has a stronger reaction to the male-to-male relationships that they do to the female-to-female relationships…meaning that the homophobic person feels threatened by the perceived notion of the ‘SEXUAL ROLES’ in male-to-male sexual activity. Male heterosexuality is defined not only by the desire for women but also, and more importantly, by the denial of desire for men.

Therefore, expressions of homophobia serve as a means of limiting those who they view as displaced in the realm of sexuality. It’s not clear why male heterosexuals would need or even fear homosexuals in order to affirm maleness…unless their sexuality was already experienced as threatened by some other cause. This brings about the instinctual fear of infection that they feel will happen if they are not shunning the fear that exists within them. It all has to do with the fear of losing control, dominance and status. Well, straight men, you can relax. The vast majority of gay men don't want you. We F&CK for the same reason you do - as a part of the expression of love, caring, concern and commitment. Since we're not likely to get it from you, you're not attractive to us and you have nothing to fear from us. There are however a small minority of gay men who actually do enjoy seducing you. However such encounters are conducted in an atmosphere of equality of the shared emotional experience, and a recognition and respect for the straight man's need for discretion. But all in all ‘HOMOPHOBIA’ is negative cost on society and this cost is enormous. This cost doesn’t affect just the gay person, but his family, his acquaintances, his employers, and to society as a whole. This outright fear is a simple matter of sex and shows how society deals with SEX and SEXUALITY; causing a great deal of SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION.

TWO BALLS N’ A BAT…

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The six months temporary job program that I am currently employed under is set to end sometime in June. There are twelve of us that started this program in December last year and out of that number they are keeping about 5 persons to fill positions that are available. Now it has been rumored that 3 out of the positions will go to the 3 males that are employed under the program and the other two will go to two females in the program and the remaining 7 ladies would be left out in the cold. As I sat and thought about the prospect of being employed again, I couldn’t help but feel ashamed that I am a man. You see working for the Government in the Treasury Department; the women here seem to NOT get along with each other. They back bite and do all sort of things to each other…it is almost as if they want the other to grovel and beg for some sort of human kindness.

I’ve worked in 3 different areas in my short time @ the Treasury and no matter where I went there were females that didn’t like each other. It could be one supervisor to the other; it did NOT matter because as long as two vaginas occupy the same office space there will be tension! One of the areas I worked in, I had to deal with a supervisor that was petty… (Though not as petty as the supervisor in another area I worked), she still got on my nerves. One day she gave me an assignment to complete I did and I did more than she asked for and she was upset. Now before I took on the project, I asked her 3 times what she wanted and I even repeated to her what she said and she replied, ‘okay you got it.’ So imagine my surprise when I came back from lunch and she told me that I didn’t do the work she wanted and then asked me if I have a communication problem. I explained to her what she wanted and that was that…or so I thought. She kept going on and on about it and asked if I agreed with her that I have a communication problem? I looked her dead in the eyes and said, NO I DON’T! Of course this FRUSTRATED her to NO end, but she did ask me the question…

So the next day we came to work and she tells me how she couldn’t sleep all night because the work place was on her mind. She went on to tell me that her not wanting to take bread out of anyone’s mouth was keeping her up because @ the same time she HAD to be honest when it came time for them to review our performance over the past few months. I told her, ‘not to worry and do what she must and make sure she is honest in her reports.’ That was that and we went on with our working day…The next day the other temp person that worked in the same area with me told me that she was told by the same supervisor that she was NOT IMPRESSED WITH HER @ ALL! Now imagine my surprise when I heard this because this young lady works VERY hard and does things the supervisor CANNOT! I thought well if she thinks this about her what would she say about me? Well I soon found out…we were in the office all alone and she told me that she was impressed with me and apart from our misunderstanding the other day, she has NO problems with me and my work ethic. You could have knocked me out with a feather because I could NOT believe she was saying this to me.

After taking in what was said to me, I soon realized why she felt the way she did. She told me that there are TOO many females in the service and they are NOT adding anything to the process and she finds that men tend to work a whole lot better. I was SO stunned that I just sat there and took it all in. A few minutes later one of the deputy treasurers came into her office and she saw me there. She asked why I was in this department and after being told she said that I make it a point to remember the names of the males in the program because we need more men in this place. I just stood there looked @ her in amazement and I realized that this “men over women sentiment’’ comes from the top. I find this SO crazy because ALL of the top positions in this place are held by WOMEN! How do I sit @ a desk in this place when I know that the females in this program worked just as hard as I did to secure a job? Isn’t it sad that because I happen to be a man, that I have TWO BALLS N’ A BAT that I am one of the chosen few?

¡EVOLVE ALREADY!

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You know when you haven’t seen or spent time with a certain person in a while, then you do and they make you realize why. Well a few weeks ago, I invited a long time friend of mine to spend a weekend here with me as I was in the house alone. The weekend went fine…he cooked; we caught up and had a few laughs. After the weekend he decided that he didn’t want to go home just yet and I was okay with that. He isn’t working and I know what that is like and I know that where I live is such an oasis, so it was no problem. Talk about a sanctuary turning into an insane asylum…

First off I lent him my car and it came back smelling like smoke! He swore up and down that he didn’t smoke inside the car, but near it as he hung out with a few friends of his. I let that slide because I know that as a non-smoker, I would be able to pick up that scent with relative ease. Well not only did I pick up the smoke scent, it made me sick with the flu…(I know it sounds crazy, but I swear it did). So here I am in my room trying to sleep while fighting the flu and after I finally fell asleep, I felt this tap on my shoulder by my friend. He wanted to know if I could take him to a BOOTY CALL! Now I stood up, tried to make sure that I heard correctly and when I got myself together, I told him NO! I mean come on, how could I have taken anyone anywhere in the state I was in? This is the same guy that constantly feels sorry for himself because he can’t seem to find anyone to be with long-term. This man beats himself to death with questions about being destined to be alone. That is okay with me to an extent because the thing about him that gets me is the FACT that he HATES being - - -! He often tells me how he would change this about himself and live a normal life because he doesn’t want to go to hell. Now I understand where he is coming from, but I always say if something is bothering you, take the steps you need to change it. I mean how much of a bother is it when you are wishing for a man to hold you? How much of pain can it be to wake up a sick person to take your ass to get some dick? 

What is SO interesting about our relationship is that he thinks that I am an atheist because I question the bible and constantly tell him that I don’t believe in the god that he believes in. He wishes that he could have a relationship like the one I have with Noel, and I often ask him -what God is going to allow the man you need to come into your life when you have a problem with yourself? Of course he sees that as a cheap shot from me because I am just trying to keep him from evolving. I think that he is doing such a marvelous job @ that! But all things aside, thinking about him and others out there that are doing this to themselves HURTS me like NOTHING on this planet because I CANNOT take that evolutionary step for them; they have to do it themselves. I just see him becoming this old, bitter n’ jaded human being…I’ve met many men that are this way and so many fall into this pattern when they don’t have to. 

Why can’t he realize that his various sexual activities won’t yield the relationship he wants? I learned a while back that "single" doesn’t mean I can’t have a brilliant, beautiful and productive life. So sad that reality is, that he MUST learn to be happy with himself, much less someone else…Shit I feel that a - - - man in this day and time has so much more to offer when you think about how many of us have lived and are living through the HIV/ AIDS crisis that has taken so many friends and lovers. How can he not see that living in a world where relationships are often competitions for control and power, we - - - men have been socialized to "read" each other instead of communicating our concerns compassionately. His focus is the six pack abs, thug masculinity, economic superficiality and all the other unrealistic markers of this world. As gay men on very different levels of experience, I get the struggle…I get that the world that he has created is scary, but I still believe he can make a choice to face the darkness, grow in confidence that he is taking himself in the right direction and EVOLVE ALREADY!