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The rules for friends
with benefits are established for the convenience of both parties. In most
cases, the idea that you are friends with benefits is not something you want
the rest of your friends to know. Especially if the two of you are in other
relationships. That is why it is good to establish ground rules as friends with
benefits from the beginnings so that the two of you have an understanding of
the situation.
Be Honest Up Front
Never assume that you
both know that you need to establish ground rules as friends with benefits.
Some people harbor secret feelings about their friends that could turn the
situation ugly in a hurry. Make sure that you both understand that it is a
friends with benefits situation right from the start and that it will not be
allowed to become more than that.
Give the Right Signals
Friends with benefits
can get out of hand quickly if one of the friends starts unknowingly making
statements or gestures that indicate that the relationship should move to a new
level. For example, buying your friend with benefits a very expensive gift for
her birthday that a regular friend would not normally buy. To avoid having the
friends with benefits escalating, make sure you are always careful to give the
right signals.
Have an Exit Plan
At some point, one of
the friends in a friends with benefits relationship will come across someone
that could be a legitimate partner. Part of the agreement between friends with
benefits should be that if someone else comes along, the friend will respectfully
back away and not interfere.
Have Realistic
Expectations
What you have is a
friendship that is mutually allowed to become physical from time to time. Do
not start to think that it can become something more when it was agreed that it
would not. Do not expect your friend with benefits to suddenly drop everything
and move across the country with you because you got a new job. That is not
what the arrangement is for.
Be Safe
You want your friend
with benefits to be attachment free. Make sure you don't turn it into a long
term engagement. Always use condoms with your partner. Although you have an
agreement with them, you can't be sure who they are also loving. In addition,
be sure to always keep your pipes clean to ensure smooth sailing.
SOURCE: DICK'Z TOYZ
Easier said than done and somebody usually winds up getting hurt. In my case, it was usually me.
ReplyDeleteThese types of relationships are both mutually rewarding and beneficial if done with respect and honesty. Communication is essential here. Unfortunately, our broader gay community generally judges harshly the men who engage one another as f**k buddies. Jealousy?
ReplyDeleteActually, these couplings do help reduce disease transmission. If safer sex is practiced, or the sexual circle is kept exclusive, it eliminates the need for cruising for anonymous encounters that usually aren't safe nor satisfactory.
JEFF: WOULD YOU SAY LESSON(S) LEARNED?
ReplyDeleteROGER: I AGREE BUDDY! WHEN I WAS DOING IT, YOU GOT TO SPEND TIME WITH SOMEONE THAT WAS A GOOD HOLDING PLACE UNTIL YOU KNOW WHAT/WHO YOU WANT.
ReplyDeletei agree that communication along the way is essential. the relationship I have with my "friend with benefits" is rewarding for both of us.
ReplyDeletei learned not to care what anyone else thinks about our relationship, although there aren't many of our friends that know about it.
i also know this won't last a long time: he's single while i'm in an open relationship. when he meets "the one" the benefits will end. but most importantly we will always be dear friends.
PHOTOGREG: MISS YOU AROUND THESE PARTS, STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO NAVIGATE YOUR BLOG...
ReplyDelete