OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: SOLUTIONS 4 THE PROBLEMATIC GAY MAN

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THIS ENTRY HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE. I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT PARTICULAR EVENT, PERSON, PLACE OR THING SPARKED THIS, BUT I HOPE HITS THAT PART OF YOU THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED. 

I find it very interesting how most if NOT all GAY MEN see themselves living a life that others considered to be just THE GAY THING. It seems as if the life of the GAY man is a self fulfilling prophecy. The BIGGEST problem is that he hears what is being said about him and instead of EMBRACING who HE is, it seems as if he subconsciously tailor makes his life to fit that of society’s perception. Hence, he is BOTHERED by his HOMOSEXUALITY and this curious PHENOMENON of SELF LOATHING is his biggest problem. SO HERE ARE A FEW SUGGESTIONS IN HELPING THE "GAY" MAN FIND HIS WAY. ¿CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT A POWERFUL COMMUNITY WE WOULD BE IF WE ACTUAL BELIEVED?

SAVE SELF FIRST

One of life’s most important lesson is being able to pick ourselves up from the hardships that we have to face. Far too many times the GAY man just hides and pretends that it does NOT exist. Hence in the process he destroys himself and is sinking in a sea of anarchy with no life rafts in sight. this self-serving attitude cannot only help those that he comes in contact with and when that plane crashes, I implore him to tread and keep his head above water with his eye on the horizon. During such turbulent times undoubtedly it is hard to breathe in a relationship and he would have the tendency to help his partner first and ignore his very own needs. While this is NOT a bad thing to do but in hind sight all of the desire to aid him EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL and MENTAL help cannot save the disaster that is the relationship. He needs to understand that if he does NOT take what I am saying the end result will be two people in a state of emergency left weak and resentful. Inevitably, the relationship crumbles beyond repair as both parties struggle for the needed support and attention that neither one can provide.

BEING ALONE ≠ LONELINESS

I would LOVE for the GAY man to realize that relationships aren't easy, especially the GAY ones. Far too many times HE wears a mask and ignores his feelings which is insane because in trying NOT to be ALONE he ends becoming LONELY which in opinion is worst. Hence the typical GAY man hides within himself living his daily rote which comprise of WORK, HOME and LOOKING FOR AN OCCASIONAL HOOK UP IN BETWEEN. I only wish that HE can take this time and reflect upon who he is, where he has been and where he wants to go. It is only then that he can realize that the cure for LONELINESS is actually being ALONE. Hence the positive things in life can be HIS only outcome which ultimately will bring HIM peace AND happiness.

GET OFF THE INTERNET

I think the GAY culture has become too dependent on the internet as a means to meet guys. This phenomenon though interesting does NOT do theGAY man good because @ the end of the day the F&CK becomes the main event. I get that the internet eases the fear of rejection that is very real when faced with true life interaction with other GAY man. I'm aware of where this fear of rejection comes from but it is socially crippling. I feel that if HE cannot be a MAN online as well as in person then it does NOT make sense. So I implore HIM to REVERSE the cycle by replacing the time spent gradually. Social intercourse is much better than sitting in front of a screen trying to find some connection. 

NO MORE BAGGAGE

Have you ever notice how the airlines makes us pay for EXCESS or EXTRA bags that we carry with us? In life I feel that we pay for this but NOT with money but with the SOUL. The GAY man must realize that HE cannot move ahead with a relationship without emptying the EXCESS issues HE carries on HIS back. Far too many times WE are in LOVE with being in LOVE and NOT dealing with the issues of LOVE past. Hence relationships past tend to get in the way of those that are trying to survive in the present. Relationships are REAL and should be taken SERIOUSLY. After all this is HIS life and it should NOT be taken lightly. Emptying BAGGAGE can make HIM realize that he may NOT to be with another someone @ the moment. Nevertheless, it does NOT matter how much LOVE HE feels for another; if there is a storm of fear surrounding the relationship, disaster WILL be the final destination.

DO NOT IGNORE THE DEAD ENDS

So many times WE see things before they arrive and simply IGNORE it. More times that I care to count, HUMANS sacrifice themselves for what seems like HAPPINESS only to END up on a road that has a blocked path. Be it a JOB that is NOT working, a RELATIONSHIP that is DEAD or a LIFE that is plagued with nothing but emptiness. SO GAY MAN I IMPLORE YOU TO PLEASE SEE THE DEAD ENDS IN YOUR LIFE! I PERSONALLY feel that when face with the notion of no where to go OR hide, I think that either the GAY man has missed the lesson OR needed to see that he was on the wrong path. DEAD ENDS show how HE has NOT taken the opportunities to LEARN and GROW and life is a continual stream of teachings. Unfortunately, HE is way too preoccupied with the things that do NOT encourage HIS growth. In other words, HE has made a courageous decision, but missed the entire point of doing it in the first place. Hence this DEAD END shows that HIS peace of mind was compromised because HE has traded that for a LIFE of pent up SHAME and LIES. Therefore it is SO obvious that HE has skipped a valuable step...getting to know himself as a MAN first, and then GROWING as a GAY man.

I WISH FOR THE GAY MAN TO STOP OVERSHADOWING THE GOODNESS OF HEART & FOR HIM NOT TO ALLOW OTHERS DETERMINE WHAT HE KNOW IS TRUE! ALL IN ALL HE HAS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT BEING GAY IS NOT A LIFESTYLE; BUT HIS LIFE. THE SOONER HE ACCEPTS THAT ALL OF US ARE MADE DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER THE BETTER. HENCE THE CONCEPT OF HE WILL ONLY EXIST AS LONG AS HE LIVES UP TO SOCIETY’S NOTION OF WHO HE IS. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE INFORM THE GAY MAN THAT HE IS NOT INFERIOR TO OTHERS AS HE IS LED TO BELIEVE? I FEEL THAT HE SHOULD BE GREATFUL THAT GOD DID NOT SPRING US ALL FROM THE SAME POD; IF HE LOOKS @ HOW HE FEELS ABOUT HIMSELF BECAUSE OF THEM, HOW CAN HE WANT TRY SO HARD TO FIT IN? GAY MAN DOES NOT ALLOW THE FEAR OF SOCIETY’S INJUSTICE TO TAKE ROOT AND DESTROY YOUR LIFE! THEREFORE, AS WE ALL GET OLDER & FIND THAT THERE ARE MANY GREAT, UNEXPLAINED MYSTERIES IN THIS WORLD; WE NEED NOT ALLOW THE DIS~ASS~OCIATION OF THE GAY MAN & HIS SEXUALITY BE ONE OF THEM.