We’re all born sexual beings. I am someone with a very lofty libido. I require both companionship and sex for happiness. I am a one man's man and I need a partner I can depend on, that I can love and grow with. But I what about men that have a need to chase? You know the ones that just won't be satisfied being a one man, man. If we’re all truly individuals, then what works for one in a relationship isn’t necessarily going to work another.
¿WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON IT BEING MAN'S NATURE TO CHEAT?
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Another great insightful & honest posting. I've been thinking about this lately. During the years of my longest live in relationship I never wanted to play away, my man satisfied me 100% & for me our sex life just got better & better, he had to put it about at times, he always told me & I've spent the years since sure of my assertions that I'm a one-man man, but conveniently? since then I've only been switched-on by commitment-phobic 'players', the affairs are intensely physical but mental & emotional black-holes. I'm wondering now though 'is it me who is the commitment-phobe' for there will be no commitments as long as I'm only switched on by these men who are ruled by their dicks.
ReplyDeleteJACKEROO: DECISIONS, DECISIONS...
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I too have a lofty libido. My partner does not. He is the love of my life and I only make love to him. However I enjoy having sex with other men and my partner is cool with that. Making love and having sex are different for me and I am able to separate those.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't always in an open relationship. I was happy being in a monogamous relationship with my first partner of 18 years. Unfortunately HE didn't think he was and years into our relationship I found out (not from him) that he had sex with several men, and he denied and lied to me about it. THAT is cheating. MY failure in that relationship was holding my feelings and anger inside, thinking I could "fix" the problem or that he would quit his behavior. It wasn't until after he died, and thanks to my counselor, that I learned to communicate and get my feelings and grief off my chest.
My present partner and I have been together almost 5 years. I ADORE him. The first few years I wanted to be monogamous, but gradually I felt that I couldn't be. Thankfully I learned to communicate by then and I shared my feelings with him before acting on them. He wasn't surprised and agreed to an open relationship. We were able to talk honestly about each other about what the rules and boundaries would be before we started. (Every "open" gay couple I know has different rules about where, when, and what to share about the sexual experiences.)
I know many gay men look down on open relationships, and it's not for every couple, but I'm in the happiest, most loving relationship of my life. I finally learned not to care what other people think of our relationship; what's important is that it works for us, at least for now. And if something changes, we will handle it because of our love, honesty, and ability to communicate with each other.
Thanks for listening. I didn't intend to write so much! =)
In ancient times and in many society polygamy was allowed and people were happy and it favoured men. Why? I tend to the society them understood the nature of men's need and there was open communication. aAs Photogreg puts it.. if only we could communicate our needs and our intentions and be open enough to work out sth that works for those in a relationship.
ReplyDeleteLovers never die...
ReplyDeleteSome men do, some men don't. Not all men cheat, just some. Unfortunately, it's the men that cheat that capture our attention and lead us to assume that all men engage in the chase. There are those among us who remain faithful and loyal.
ReplyDeleteIs it inherent in our nature to cheat? Perhaps so. Otherwise, why would we have a bliblical admonishment to be true to our spouses?
Photogreg - your man is a lucky one
ReplyDeleteBringing it down for shame! Love the post.
ReplyDeletePHOTOGREG: YOUR LIFE HAS ALWAYS INTRIGUED ME. I LOVE THAT YOU ARE OPEN & FREE TO BE YOU!
ReplyDeleteSINIA: BEING OPEN IS KEY, LOVE THAT YOU MENTIONED THAT.
ReplyDeleteBJORNS: THEY LIVE ON!
ReplyDeleteROGER: I WONDER THE BIBLICAL LAW EXIST TO FORCE US TO BE PEOPLE WE ARE NOT?
ReplyDeleteJACKEROO: HE SHOULD BE, HE IS BEING HIMSELF...
ReplyDeleteCHET: THANKS GUY.
ReplyDelete