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The other day I was asked, ‘what is the secret to my relationship with noel?’ I often smile when that question is thrown @ me because the person doing the asking sees the same thing in us that we see in each other. I am in no way an expert in LOVE and I will admit that I’ve had MORE than my share of princes that turned into frogs. But years pass by, and as they say, hindsight is 20/20. What I learned from these experiences is that to have true love YOU MUST FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF FIRST. You must stop the madness of forgetting to LOVE your authentic self so that someone else would love the ‘idea’ of you.
Isn’t it amazing how people consider walking on water a miracle, when the REAL miracle is being alive AND loving ourselves unconditionally in the process? I know most would say that it is such a cliché to talk about LOVING yourself first, but if you think about how could you not? I know that MANY of us grew up being scolded with statements like “Don’t be selfish!” As a result of this well-intentioned message we can find ourselves feeling a little guilty when we put ourselves first. This message somehow caused us to abandon ourselves in order to earn the love that is actually our birthright. Self-abandonment will ALWAYS cause problems for us as we move forward seeking love from others.
I suppose following the crowd is fine…after all who wants to be all by themselves and lonely while everyone is socializing and peering over @ you like you are THE weirdo? But SELF-LOVE is only the warmest fuzzy feeling that you could ever experience…EVER! It is all about being comfortable in your own skin AND ask yourself, am I someone that I could LOVE, HONOR N’ CHERISH for the rest of my life? celebrating the uniqueness of you…your strengths, gifts, beauty, interests, and desires. So trying to start a relationship with another without it well…So as you go through relationships that tend to accelerate like dog years, ask yourself, am I someone that I could LOVE, HONOR N’ CHERISH for the rest of my life?
Seeing as you have to live in the being within you are absolutely spot on when you say you have to make peace with yourself first.
ReplyDeletemy bf and I just had a not so nice conversation about my confidence issues and I couldn't agree more with you...
ReplyDeletewithout self-love and self actualization we are just going through the motions; a bit of seasoning/experience is required, however, too many of us never get onto the pathway of self-love, self actualization nor attempting to loving anyone.
ReplyDeleteGREAT POST!
I loved this post. Something to definitely think about...
ReplyDeleteSomehow your words remind of this song that I love so much. It's Aretha Franklin's "Someone else's eyes".
ReplyDeleteI'd feel like going crazy especially when she says:
And for a long time I sang someone else's melody
It wasn't really me
Somehow I took myself for granted
In someone else's eyes
I saw reflections of a girl I was, who caught me by suprise
Seeing a woman who's defined by you
I never realised I can't love you, I can't love me
Through someone else's eyes
The first time I heared this song, I thought this is me. I felt like it defined my relationships with people and I was so tired of it. I had been ready for some time to move on and let that girl go. It took me a while to shed that skin but I'm glad I'm on the right path.
Excuse me for going off track a little.