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What do you guys think about the concept of polygamy for gay men? You know, having more than one husband/lover. I don’t mean a hidden relationship (that is cheating). Having two men (probably more) in your life and they know of each other existence. Will you for instance be a third person in a relationship? Is it possible to be totally in love (not lust) with two or more guys and having a relationship with all of them?
Polygamy has always been a straight person's turf, so to speak, and it'd be interesting to hear what gay guys say on this one.
ReplyDeleteBut personally, I don't support polygamy. I think anyone who practices polygamy has little regard for the next person.
I don't understand why any person will want to have more than one lover/husbands at a time. What is it that they need so much that one person cannot provide? I never got this one and don't think I will for as long I live. But hey, that's just me.
Can you totally love two or more people at a time? I think you can love two people at a time (I don't know about three or more), but I don't think you can love them equally. And if you can't love the both equally, then you should leave the other alone.
No matter how much people in these relationships pretend that there's peace, love and harmony, there'll always be some element of jealousy somewhere. And you're most likely to see it when the main man/unifier passes away.
Why would anyone need more? To satisfy what exactly?
I don't even know how it can work with str8 couples. How does one deal with the jealousy and stuff like that. Sounds too messy to me. With guys? That sounds even messier....
ReplyDeleteVery interesting question.
ReplyDeleteI think it is probably the only type of relationship that could ever work for me.
To me it is very possible to love more than one person at a time. Each person has very individual characteristics, traits, strengths and weaknesses etc. and I could quite easily love different things in different guys. I am not talking about lusting.... heck... I can lust 1000's of guys simultaneously on a bad day and even more on a good day.
Maybe I am just weird... well... er..... actually I suppose that is a given. ;-)
I think it is possible to love more than one person at a time - having been stuck there a couple of times in my life. But I do think if your commit yourself to one person (and this for me is the importance of "legalizing" gay/lesbian/tranny/bi relationships) then I think one is obligated to live up to that commitment. On second thought, maybe it's possible to be committed to one person for love, and then have 2, 3 others in one's life for really hot sex? Don't know really. I mean heteros seem to have affairs all the time for this very reason.
ReplyDeleteIt´s will hurt me, i want my partner for me alone and don´t share.
ReplyDeleteWell considering most men cant "love" one man and do it right, I think the concept is far fetched. It doesnt work in heterosexual relationships, why would we consider it possible in our community? Especially the black community. ESPECIALLY
ReplyDeleteThis is funny because Jordan and I had a conversation about this because we have a friend who is in a relationship with two other people and all three of them claim to be in love with one another. The sad thing is, they have a lot of arguments but are very vocal about their wild make-up sex. Anyway this is hard to do without names. Person1 (my friend) and Person2 were together and they brought in Person3. Person3 had to adjust to the situation because it was his first relationship ever. Now Person2 usually fights with person3 more than anyone, but it seems to somewhat work for them. Person1 is usually always in the middle and is trying to mediate between the two others. Its kind of complicated. To make matters worse, at times they cheat on each other with people outside of the triangle and to me it seems like a cesspool of disease and bacteria or will be soon. I could never do anything like this. Anyway, Jordan and I came to the conclusion that it's a good thing that they can't pro-create.
ReplyDeleteMISS SHALLOTTE – THAT WAS MY THOUGHT WHEN THE QUESTION CAME TO MY MIND, WHY WOULD ANYONE NEED MORE THAN ONE PERSON?
ReplyDeleteMECHADUDE2001 – I LIKE YOUR TAKE ON IT…
DUSTY BOOT – YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN…
CONN3CTION – I THINK YOU REPRESENT THE KIND OF MAN WHO ENERGY CANNOT BE HARNESS BY JUST ONE MAN…
SCOTT747 – I DON’T THINK MOST OF US CAN MAKE SOMETHING LIKE THIS WORK…
BJORNS-BRUTZELBUDE – I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL…
QUE – I SOMETIMES WONDER IF WE BLACK FOLKS ARE TOO HARD ON EACH OTHER…
KENDAL – THE FOLKS THAT ORBIT YOUR SATELLITE NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME…
I don't think polygamy would work with heterosexuals or homosexuals. My opinion is that if you are not fully devoting 100 percent of yourself in any relationship, you're not being fair to your partner. You can't give 100 percent to two people at the same time...somebody's getting shorted somewhere.
ReplyDeleteMEMPHIS MIKE
'THE FOLKS THAT ORBIT YOUR SATELLITE..', THE WAY YOU USE LANGUAGE SOMETIMES! BUT I LOVE IT.
ReplyDeletelmao@shallotte. I think it could work actually. ITS ALL ABOUT learning about each person and making sure both parties agrees to it. it wont work if it is just sex. It has to be dedication involved with them and it would just be about balancing time. I dont think I am weird for thinking about it at all.
ReplyDeleteI am not arguing against being with one person though but ive thought about it alot. BUT I DONT CALL IT POLYGAMY. The terminology that we label ourselves nowadays is setting us up to dismiss everything that is not normative
I'm all for monogamy here. Dont need to share that much love. hehe
ReplyDeleteI think the idea is very appealing and idyllic in many ways, and definitely sexually exciting (especially hearing of the wild make-up sex Kendal talks about).
ReplyDeleteHowever, I'm in complete agreement with what Miss Shallotte first said.
I couldn't do it!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMISS SHALLOTTE – I KNOW RIGHT…
ReplyDeleteJAMAR HERROD – I DON’T THINK IT CAN WORK SIMPLY BECAUSE WE CAN’T GET IT RIGHT WITH JUST ONE MAN SO IMAGINE MORE THAN ONE? I DO AGREE THAT LABELS DIMISSES EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT NORMATIVE.
KNOXXY – I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL….
KA-OS – YEAH SHE IS A SMART ONE…
DEONTE’K – YOU AIN’T ALONE ON THAT TIP…
Why shouldn't it work?
ReplyDeleteThe way the question is posed would mean that the love for one partner is equal, in all respects, to the love of the other.
The love given to you is yours; what he gives to the other is his. A lover cannot leave you and take the love he's been sharing with you and give it to someone else.
I really do think it's possible just not practical but I have thought about it before - not doing it - there was a series on MTV [yes MTV] called Undressed that explored this that's when I first thought about it - like I said it is possible as long as everyone knows what the roles are and what is expected
ReplyDeleteToo much work for me
Wouldn't work for long. We're just not accepting of that kind of behavior. At least for long periods of time.
ReplyDelete®‡ø - I THINK IT IS TOO MUCH FOR ALL OF US...MOST OF US CAN'T EVEN MAKE A RELATIONSHIP WORK WITH JUST ONE MAN...
ReplyDeleteFLABRUH05 - I AGREE WITH YOU...
I think any partnership configuration can work so long as all partners are in agreement and have set up some ground rules. I've experienced a triad of sorts, with only two - me and one of the 3, being a knowing party to it...call it sort-of, long-term cheating. All said, and in retrospect, I feel that human nature tends to have us focus more on one partner and have deeper feelings for one of the partners. In the end, either someone is not as tended to OR as some have mentioned the multiplicity of the relationship opens the door to more partners - not always agreed upon by all - and greater complications. I've been in a long term committed relationship for centuries now and we've both agreed that if the time ever comes that we want or need more we will discuss it and probably end it before embarking on new relationships. It's an easier set-up when you're younger and your maturity level isn't as cemented.
ReplyDeleteYeah it is easier to do it when you are younger, TOTALLY agree with you there.
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