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As of late I’ve been bombarded by gay men seeking my help in finding themselves a man. While this request is flattering, I can’t help but feel deflated because these various men seem to think OR feel that because I am in a relationship, that I’ve somehow…someway found the answers when all I’ve done is taken the steps so that I can be READY TO MALE when Noel came into my life. A few years ago, life saw it fit that I tend MY field AND fill myself from the inside out if I am to find secure the LOVE of just one man for the rest of my life. Over years, I’ve found that finding a good man is good BUT finding a GREAT man is even BETTER! ESPECIALLY if he is worth @ least an ounce of time AND energy, has himself together AND wants a life with another male. However if you AND he are to become we, you need to ensure that you are indeed READY TO MALE…From working on the things we don’t like about ourselves, to the lies we live with EVERYDAY, to shunning of the TRUE concept of LOVE…I feel that we need to create a FIRM foundation AND build a house on solid ground. I would HATE for you to wake up one day and wonder why you're still single AND don’t have any friends or REAL connections? I FIND THAT WE’VE LOST SO MUCH BECAUSE WE DON ’T KNOW HOW TO MALE…I suppose that is why the clothes, monies AND parties take center stage, but what about the things you can’t see? Aren’t you tired of being a victim of your own doing? We all know that NO one will reward you for the life you live…ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT! SO AS I WRITE THIS, IT IS MY HOPE THAT THIS BLOG ENTRY & THE OTHERS THAT WILL FOLLOW WILL GIVE US SOME INSIGHT SO WE CAN BEGIN TO TURN THE TABLES & RECOGNIZE THAT THE LITTLE GAY BOY IS INDEED A MAN …A MAN THAT NEEDS TO ACCEPT HIMSELF AS HE IS & MAKE THE BEST OUT OF LIFE …
GET TO KNOW AND UNDERSTAND WHO YOU ARE, WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT AND WHAT IT IS THAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR OUT OF LIFE AND OUT OF A PROSPECTIVE PARTNER.
ReplyDeleteWHEN YOU RADIATE POSITIVE ENERGY AND ARE SURE OF YOURSELF, ONLY THEN WILL YOU ATTRACT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR YOU. AND, NEVER EVER, BE DESPERATE FOR A RELATIONSHIP!
IT AIN'T GONNA BE ANY OTHER WAY. NOW AND INTO ETERNITY.
Yeah you pretty much have laid out the fundamentals of a strong relationship. It would be impossible to find someone for a lifetime when you are unsure that you want to see the whole thing through. Most of us have doubts about what we want and many aren't ready for a serious relationship so until we change our mind set and identify within ourselves what we are capable of nurturing with someone else then it's just another false start.
ReplyDeleteim going to take a few quotes from stuff ive seen on tv to help me out on this one, beyonce once said on the tyra banks show, you need to have a life befor you become some elses wife, and on xmen 2, we shouldnt have a need to be in disguise all the time to cover ourselves form the world. what these two quotes suggest to me is that, we as gay men , as i am generalising we have so many issues to deal with that lie under the surface and somtimes we look for the complete picture in other people rather than complete it our selves, we always are waiting for somthing great to happen so we can BEGIN our lives. rather than take into account that when somthing happends in our lives that is good or even bad it should just be and extention to our lives and not the main focus. we shouldnt hid away from the world and expect others to do our jobs for us we should go out and be ready to feel the full width of trying to find our soul mate. thats when we truly learn
ReplyDeleteSHALLOTTE - I LOVE WHEN YOU ECHO THE SENTIMENTS OF MY BLOG ENTRIES...ARE YOU IN MY HEAD?
ReplyDelete®‡ø - R U READY TO MALE?
ReplyDeleteKABOMO - WHO KNEW THAT BEYONCE HAD SOMETHING INTERESTING TO SAY?
ReplyDeleteIm having my own issues in finding a man that wants to be real with me...so yep Im ready for that...but cant seem to find anyone that is ready for me...a real woman!!
ReplyDeleteOYIN - ARE YOU SHOWING THE REAL YOU?
ReplyDelete@Oyin sincerely we are here.the gayte-keeper determination ,a broad heart, and a firm foundation is all we need.Keep it up Bro
ReplyDeleteI AM YOU AND YOU ARE ME. YOUR SISTER, BORN OF ANOTHER MOTHER, ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE CONTINENTS.LOL
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly why I am saying NO to getting involved in trying to have a relationship at this moment. I know I got to work on myself a little more and also take time to get other things, issues, or people worked out of my head. I don't think imma be READY TO MALE for a few months.
ReplyDeleteYes sir with a high 5 for this blog man lol.... ;)
ReplyDeleteTGK needs to be published.
ReplyDeleteReady to MALE. That has transformed me. With all the "talk" us brothas talk - how comfy are we with the notion of being in a male - male relationship? REALLY! Let me not get started on the silly sex-role domination/ positioning.
Thanks.
I find myself in exactly the same position, being in a LTR of 3 years plus, and having friends constantly whining about wanting a man - any man, it seems - is wearing. You've laid it all out, just how it is - some men just ain't ready to male...
ReplyDeleteROBYN – I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE NOW…THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT
ReplyDeleteSHALLOTTE – THAT YOU CERTAINLY ARE…(^_^)
ReplyDeleteJB – WELL YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK…DON’T LOOK BACK…
ReplyDeleteDEONTE’ K – HOW ABOUT 2 HIGH FIVES FOR THE BLOG?
ReplyDeleteLANGSTON BALDWIN – IT’S PUBLISHED IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE BRO…
ReplyDeleteKA-OS – IT IS NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE THAT CAN RELATE TO THIS IN THE WAYS YOU’VE MENTIONED…LET’S DO COFFEE SOMETIME? (^_^)
ReplyDeleteof course....what you see is what you get. I am really an affectionate person that loves to touch, kiss, and need/require much attention. Yep Im spoiled but you know that already....
ReplyDeleteBut mostly I spoil my man too....hmm, I think that may be my problem. I give them too much attention!!
This is REALLY good!!!!!! I am happy to relate!!!!
ReplyDeleteREGGIE - I AM MORE THAN HAPPY THAT YOU CAN RELATE
ReplyDeletethegayte-keeper: OK 2 buddy lol ;)
ReplyDeleteBeing that i am a woman in the life... it definetely warmed my heart to see you speak so candidly and open about love from a male perspective. Giving insight and helping others on their quest for love and truth. I commend you. The bright side to this wonderful piece of literature is although you're primarily directing this to gay males... the same can be applied to a bi woman or lesbian woman seeking "her" and it also applies to the "straight" life. Phenomenal. I thank you.
ReplyDeletePRO'S HOOD - TO GET SUCH WORDS FROM SOMEONE THAT HAS SUCH A GREAT WAY OF EXPRESSING HERSELF DOES WONDERS FOR ME...MOREOVER, I APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT YOU BEING "IN THE LIFE" THAT YOU CAN APPRECIATE SOMETHING THOUGH GEARED TOWARDS THE GAY MALE, YOU CAN APPLY IT TO THOSE ARE NOT AS WELL...THANK YOU
ReplyDeleteThe words speak volumes for me. You just had a cup of growing up juice right in my hand and I thank you for it. The whole Ready to male concept is Genius work on your part! WE have to begin with ourselves first. Ah! Is it painful to say sometimes. I believe for many including myself it is. Because we want it all but arent patient enough to receive it in due time with greatness.
ReplyDeleteJAMAR HERROD - I HOPE IT IS REFRESHINGLY BITTER SO THAT WE CAN TURN THINGS AROUND...
ReplyDeleteFlaws and all im ready to male. Been ready for a while now. All the soul searching i have been doing i really think is paying off. Now no longer willing to settle. and when the universe is kind enough to send me my Noel, i welcome him with open arms
ReplyDelete