A COMPLICATED BEAUTIFUL MELODY

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For a while now I have been feeling like there was a gap between my friends and I; and I wanted to write about it for sometime but chose not to because I did NOT want to write anything that would be offensive to them. However, I have come to understand that sometimes in life one has to say AND do things that are NOT pleasant OR good for others no matter what the circumstances. I for the most part think of myself as one of the simplest person I know; but they for some reason seem not to know that about me. There are things that I care about, things that are near AND dear to my soul and it seems as if they don’t know this fact. One of the things that are of the utmost importance to me is the fight against HIV/AIDS and as things in life progress; it was brought to my attention that I should apply for a job working in that area. Now anyone that knows me would be able to say to themselves that this something that I would do HANDS DOWN…I guess my perception of what I am to my friends was TOTALLY left of the middle. YES I am an accountant by profession but more than anything I have this desire to make the world a better place one human @ a time. For a while now I have been craving AND looking for something different and far more comforting to MY soul AND sensual nature. The hustle-bustle and neurotic aura surrounding the working world NO longer moves me…it hasn’t for a long time. I felt that this was my time to do something sweet AND pastoral, something that emphasizes inner peace instead of rank competition. In my life thus far I felt that I have competed more times than I care to remember that I am ready for a TOTAL change of pace…And guess what? MY SOUL NEEDS THE BALANCE! Even though I knew what my friends were going to say to me, there was a small part of me that hoped that one would surprise me and prove me wrong. It makes me sad that I have to be careful about who I allow in my space when I am trying to attract something. All around is STUCK ENERGY and I am SO much more than that. HOWEVER THE EVENTS OF TODAY TAUGHT ME THAT I AM A BEAUTIFUL COMPLICATED MELODY & AS A FRIEND TOLD ME THAT IN LIFE ONE HAS TO REMEMBER THE ARTICHOKES AS I PEEL AWAY THE LAYERS…NONETHELESS, I WANT GOOD THINGS FOR THEM, HOW COULD I NOT? I AM MY BROTHER’S KEEPER…IT IS MY MANDATE! I JUST WANT HEAL & PROVIDE LIGHT TO THOSE THAT CAN’T SEEM TO FIND THEIR WAY OUT OF THE DARK. I BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING IS FOR A REASON & THIS CAME MY WAY TO SHOW ME THAT THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR AS I FELT EMPTY DOING OTHER THINGS THAT WERE GOING NO WHERE. I WANT TO DO THINGS THAT IS GOOD FOR HUMANITY…THIS IS MY LIFE’S WORK & AS I EVOLVE I FEEL THAT I MUST ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THOSE AROUND ME MAY NOT SEE THAT…