Tweet
Would you consider it your duty as a
friend to let a friend know that his man is betraying him or would you stay out of it and hope that he
will figure it out eventually?
Some may
argue that it depends on how close your friendship is since that will be your
way of deciphering what your scorned friend’s reaction will be to the bad news.
But do you want to be the middle man in
such a scenario? It’s never easy to watch someone you care about ignorantly
blissful of potentially devastating news, but it may not work in your favor to
include yourself in the equation either.
In most cases
your friend already have some inkling that their relationship is not on solid
ground but they need that vital evidence to help confirm their nagging
suspicions.
What do you think? Is it best to play the supporting role when all hell
breaks loose or would you willingly be an accessory to your friend’s dissolved relationship?
Oh, tough one. I think I would have to tell. I had a friend who was in a long term relationship and his boyfriend cheated. I did not know, but one of our friend's did, and it ruined their relationship that he didn't tell. But it would be hard, especially if they were both friends. Then again, I don't know how sympathetic I could be to someone fucking around on my friend.
ReplyDeleteI think in most cases though I would tell the cheater that either he tells or I do. Where it goes from there is both their choices.
I know I would tell because if it were me I would want to know.
DeleteI generally play the supporting role, but as of late I have been part of that equation and let me tell you all parties involved end up disapproving the other's involvement. It gets really ugly. Be way to handle the situation is to keep your mouth closed.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could keep my mouth closed, ESPECIALLY if this is a close friend of mine.
DeleteI have been in all three positions: the cheater (yes, I am guilty), the wronged lover and the friend. I would let the cheater know that I'm aware of what's going on and that he's got one week to resolve the situation. When I was in this exact position, that ultimatum forced me to get my ass in gear and make amends (or, at least attempt to do so).
ReplyDeleteWhen I was the one with my head in the clouds and oblivious to reality, I actually resented the friend who spoke the truth because he knew the infidelity was going on but didn't inform me earlier. In hindsight, this was idiocy on my part but when caught up in the drama, who reacts according to the screenplay?
The ideal solution? Who knows? All of us are different and no two scenarios are identical.
Excellent thought, my blogger brother! If your brain is operational 24/7, when do you sleep? :)
Like you I've been in all situations and I agree with your points.
DeleteI do sleep, just don't do much work during the day so I blog and stuff, cool huh?
I think if it's a really close friend, then I think it's safe to tell the friend. It'll be dramatic at first - of course - but the friendship would (and should!) survive. Otherwise.... I'd let people be.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your way of handling this.
DeleteThere are many secrets I have been made privy to over the years that I will carry to my grave. The telling of some would have destroyed relationships and some would have landed people in jail.
ReplyDeleteIt is not my place to punish the guilty and my duty as a friend is to be around to help pick up the pieces, NOT to shatter illusions.
I often swing between being honest and keeping things to myself, but like you say, you are not here to shatter illusions and I dig that.
Delete