OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: WELCOME TO THE (S)EXPERIMENT

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Isn’t interesting how the world has allowed something as beautiful as sex to become so ugly? Our foray into the sex zone begins with an innocence of heartfelt intentions until that innocence fades and fear creeps in. For MANY of us, sex has come down to a moment where two (or more) hope it can propel them beyond blurred lines; and for gay men that line gets blurry by the minute. For some reason as we ages, we leave the REAL connection we have with same-sex individuals in the closets of time in its once pristine form. MANY reasons abound as to why this slips away and becomes often unreachable and I hope this blog entry shed some light on this subject for us. @ The end of the day, I FIRMLY believe that LOVE, and the pursuit of its deeper manifestations is the one thing that is most guaranteed to give life a purpose and meaning. The pursuit of sex @ this stage of our life is merely a peripheral benefit to essentially pad and provide amusement in life.

There's a phenomenon sweeping the GAY community: men having sex with each @ rapid pace; and @ the heart of this issue are many contributing factors. Homophobia against GAY men is just one of the culprits. Moreover, there are some lingering self-esteem issues that simply prove that GAY MEN JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE MEN! As little boys most if NOT all of us did our fair share of sexual exploration with the same AND opposite sex. Back then it was done out of curiosity AND innocence; what is OUR excuse today? How do we still have sex as if we are still kids AND somehow never manage to never get pass our childhood way of thinking when it comes to sex?

So many of we GAY men see sex as a testing phase that requires us to find as many partners as we can; it’s as if there is an open season on sex and hunter AND prey is on a collision course that will produce dire consequences. The GAY man is playing Russian roulette with his essence AND destroying the beautiful thing we call sex. It has always been my assumption that sex represents FREEDOM & LIBERATION, instead WE have this PHYSICAL, EMOTIONLESS & PSYCHOLOGICAL thing that takes us away from the REAL meaning of sex. I often wonder how things got this bad so fast. I guess in a broader sense, this question is rooted in the social facts that we are all aware of the decline of the GAY community AND how HIV/AIDS has taken a STRONG hold there; yet we do NOTHING to bring ourselves out this bondage that WE have created.

Hence it if one was to examine the complexities AND contradictions of the GAY man; one would see that HIS sexual behavior is the root of the problem. Can anyone tell me what is it about the thrill that drives us to indulge in this activity with so many? This insatiable hopping from one man to the next is NOT a duty. How is it that we can’t seem be anything to each other beyond the physical? We are NOTHING more than laboratory rat that are gathering evidence proving that GAY men are all about anal sex. I get that to some extent that this level of physical AND sexual intimacy is in its own right some form of sexual healing. MY ONLY QUESTION HOW LONG DOES IT LAST? MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW DOES ONE CULTIVATE A PROFOUND SENSE OF IDENTITY IN THIS WAY? 

Hence what we ultimately end up with is an access to an elite male experience, and intercourse with a set of beliefs and ideas about HOMOSEXUALITY that WE somehow created. This dilemma is that part of what they feel like they are not getting from themselves AND it is also connected to what they feel they are not getting from society as well. In the long run the things that are going on today will NO doubt have grave affects for us tomorrow. Overall, I believe this phenomenon is affecting us because it provides somewhat of a safety valve for us to hide this issue. Deep down inside I believe that the GAY man wants to nurture and be nurtured; however that can only happen in a relationship. 

IN GENERAL, THESE MEN HAVE FEARS ABOUT NOT BEING SEEN BOTH FOR WHO THEY ARE AS A COMMUNITY & AS INDIVIDUALS. IN ADDITION, FOR SOME REASON THEY FEAR NOT FINDING THAT CONNECTION TO ANOTHER MAN & @ THE SAME TIME THINKING THAT IF THEY ALTER THEIR SEXUAL BEHAVIOR IT WOULD SOMEHOW PUT THEM ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE HOMOSEXUAL CIRCLE. I KNOW ALL TOO WELL THAT THE GAY MAN HAS A LOT TO DEAL WITH, FROM BEING FEARED, HATED & STOMPED ON…BUT HE HAS TO RISE ABOVE THAT FOR HIS SAKE. IN ORDER FOR US TO CHANGE, WE MUST INCREASE OUR ABILITY TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THINKING, FEELING & LEARNING HOW TO RESOLVE THINGS IN LIVES. THIS ISSUE MUCH LIKE EVERYTHING IN LIFE GOES ON & NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT. WHEN IT COMES TO THINGS THAT DIRECTLY AFFECT OUR INTERACTION & ATTITUDES WITH EACH OTHER, THE VERY FOUNDATION FOR HOW WE RESPOND TO THIS SELF-ESTEEM PROBLEM SHOWS THAT WE LACK THE ARTICULATION & KNOWLEDGE TO CHANGE THINGS. BUT LET US NOT FORGET THAT THE REAL WAR ON THE GAY MAN IS OVERWHELMING NEED TO COMPETE WITH THE HETEROSEXUAL MAN. HENCE I SAY IT IS TIME FOR US TO RECLAIM OUR MANHOOD & EMBRACE WHO WE ARE AS MEN. SEX IS NICE, BUT YOUR SELF-WORTH SHOULD NOT BE DECIDED BY YOUR WILLINGNESS TO HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER MAN…IT SHOULD BE TIED TO YOUR RESPECT & APPRECIATION FOR WHO YOU ARE…