JOHN BOSWELL: THE CHURCH & THE HOMOSEXUAL: AN HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE

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"Homosexuality," Plato wrote, "is regarded as shameful by barbarians and by those who live under despotic governments just as philosophy is regarded as shameful by them, because it is apparently not in the interest of such rulers to have great ideas engendered in their subjects, or powerful friendships or passionate love-all of which homosexuality is particularly apt to produce." This attitude of Plato's was characteristic of the ancient world, and I want to begin my discussion of the attitudes of the Church and of Western Christianity toward homosexuality by commenting on comparable attitudes among the ancients. 

To a very large extent, Western attitudes toward law, religion, literature and government are dependent upon Roman attitudes. This makes it particularly striking that our attitudes toward homosexuality in particular and sexual tolerance in general are so remarkably different from those of the Romans. It is very difficult to convey to modern audiences the indifference of the Romans to questions of gender and gender orientation. The difficulty is due both to the fact that the evidence has been largely consciously obliterated by historians prior to very recent decades, and to the diffusion of the relevant material.

Romans did not consider sexuality or sexual preference a matter of much interest, nor did they treat either in an analytical way. An historian has to gather together thousands of little bits and pieces to demonstrate the general acceptance of homosexuality among the Romans. One of the few imperial writers who does appear to make some sort of comment on the subject in a general way wrote, "Zeus came as an eagle to god­like Ganymede and as a swan to the fair­haired mother of Helen. One person prefers one gender, another the other, I like both." Plutarch wrote at about the same time, "No sensible person can imagine that the sexes differ in matters of love as they do in matters of clothing. The intelligent lover of beauty will be attracted to beauty in whichever gender he finds it." Roman law and social strictures made absolutely no restrictions on the basis of gender. It has sometimes been claimed that there were laws against homosexual relations in Rome, but it is easy to prove that this was not the case. On the other hand, it is a mistake to imagine that anarchic hedonism ruled at Rome. In fact, Romans did have a complex set of moral strictures designed to protect children from abuse or any citizen from force or duress in sexual relations. Romans were, like other people, sensitive to issues of love and caring, but individual sexual (i.e. gender) choice was completely unlimited. Male prostitution (directed toward other males), for instance, was so common that the taxes on it constituted a major source of revenue for the imperial treasury. It was so profitable that even in later periods when a certain intolerance crept in, the emperors could not bring themselves to end the practice and its attendant revenue.

SAINTS N' SINNERS

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RHYTHM NATION

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"Rhythm Nation" is the second single from American R&B and pop singer Janet Jackson's fourth studio album, Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814(1989).

The song became the second of the historic seven top five singles released off the Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814 album. Jackson composed the lyrics while Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis composed the music, which featured a sample from Sly & the Family Stone's 1969 song "Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)". The song preached racial unity and harmony among nations and in promise of "looking for a better way of life" and a way to stop "social injustice". The song became as famous for its countdown in both the song and the video as it was for its message. It peaked at number two on the BillboardHot 100 (behind Phil Collins' "Another Day in Paradise") and number one on the Billboard Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs during late 1989 and early 1990.

The song inspired the name of English DJ Trevor Nelson's BBC Radio 1 show "Rhythm Nation". Nelson told Jackson this during their 1998 interview which aired on the same show. The show also spawned several compilation albums under the same name.

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: ¿HOW ABOUT SOME GAY INTELLIGENCE?

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This blog entry is about those that judge a book (intellect/gay man) by its cover. Society is more often than not misleading and dangerous as they ‘assume’ they control the mindset of the world and ultimately who, how and whys about gay men. Society has proven more times that they are NOT intelligent when it comes to gay men and women. It is this anti-intellectual phenomenon that has little to do with the combination of experience, emotional acumen, environmental influences, common sense, ability to sort out things, spiritual proclivity, that has caused such a divide in this world. Do you think they know that ‘knowing’ comes from more than ‘knowledge of?’ To ‘know’ is a step, sometimes huge, above ‘believing’ and I hope that this entry conveys that message. THOUGHTS?

With us living in a world where SEX, LIES & THE DOWN LOW is ever so prevalent, one would think that EVERY female would align herself with a man that has a direct link to this phenomenon, because the concept that if walks like a duck, quack like a duck…DOES NOT APPLY IN THE GAY COMMUNITY! Moreover, that dumb notion does NOT even come close to the array of men that makes up the GAY COMMUNITY. Most men do NOT ‘look’ GAY, ‘talk’ GAY or ‘act’ GAY, but they are having SEX with each other nonetheless. So having a GAY INFORMANT is ideal for women that tend to be SO clueless about us gay men.

I AM OF THE OPINION THAT MEN WOULD F&CK EACH OTHER QUICKER THAN THEY CARE TO CHASE A WOMAN! The crazy thing is that most of these men do NOT want a relationship with another man OR consider themselves GAY or BI; they just blame their double lives on those around them. Their unwillingness to address their sexual behavior is what is endangering the gay community. Some say there is a DIRECT connection between this behavior and the rise of HIV/AIDS infections for both WOMEN and MEN. Nonetheless, I don’t buy this notion, yet SO many does and bury their collective heads in the sand and base their theory on unquantifiable information. I suppose it makes sense to them because no one knows how many men are on DL, but isn’t stereotyping wrong?

When are folks ESPECIALLY women going to pay attention to the truth that is right in front of their eyes? Men of all sorts are picking up each other left N’ right and it is SO easy! How could it not be? All he has to do is take care of his home life; having SEX every Wednesday night and every Friday morning. Pays church a visit on Sunday with the family on Sunday; keeping the woman satisfied, pay the bills, and come home every night and GAY BASH here N’ there…SHE WON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT WHAT HE IS REALLY DOING. It is sad when you look on the other side of the fence and seek the mask from that angle, but how can things be fixed when both sides lack REAL GAY INTELLIGENCE? This world is hard and we just place a band aid on a wound that will never heal…Making it virtually impossible for women to open their minds to reality. THE MORE SOCIETY TRIES TO MAKE HOMOSEXUALITY A BAD THING, THE MORE SOCIETY IS GOING TO HURT ITSELF. THE COMPLEX ISSUES SURROUNDING SEXUAL IDENTITY ARE NOT GOING AWAY. SO THE SOONER WE ACCEPT THE REALITIES OF THIS WORLD, THE BETTER IT WILL BE FOR ALL OF US. 

CRUISING HOUR @ YOUR GYM...

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One of the most challenging and frustrating aspects of dating is being able to read the signals you’re receiving from the guy you’re going out with to determine if he’s really interested in you. While there’s no special formula, here are a few indicators from THE GAY LOVE COACH that might signify that the man you’ve just met has a thing for you. 

(1) He initiates contact with you on a consistent basis and seems to make time in his schedule to include you in his life; 

(2) He laughs, maintains good steady eye-contact with you, tries to be in close physical proximity to you, and periodically makes physical contact with you (a brief touch on the arm, cradling the small of your back, etc.); 

(3) He asks probing questions to get to know you better and demonstrates a curiosity and interest in what you have to say; 

(4) He goes out of his way to make small gestures of kindness directed your way (gifts, a cts of service); 

(5) His body language is receptive, positioning himself in a way in which he has an open posture and he leans in toward you with lots of smiles; 

(6) Completely focuses on you and isn’t distracted by other guys in the vicinity, etc.

Now the items listed above, how do they come into play when you meet a guy in the bathroom @ the gym? This entry came about because a friend of mine asked a guy for his number in the bathroom @ the gym. Now call me crazy, but I have NO idea that the 'straight' acting men in my gym even took those sort of risk. So back to the tricky question asked in the beginning of this paragraph, can the signs listed above is that they can also be indicative of someone who’s solely cruising @ the gym to get you into bed? If one seeks a long-term dating relationship, is the gym improper breathing ground? 

GAY RELATIONSHIPS: GETTING WHAT YOU WANT IN BED

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“Oh, baby, you’re the best!” In our fantasies, we’re always in bed with a guy who knows just how to push our buttons. He’s neither too rough nor too cautious. He knows all our hot spots.Maybe he even shows us some nerve endings we didn’t know we had. He knows just what to do. It’s as if he can read our mind.

“OW! Watch the teeth, okay?” In everyday reality, we find ourselves in bed with someone who can’t read our mind and who doesn’t know where our hot buttons are unless we tell him.  He makes missteps – just like we do. If we’re lucky he’s enthusiastic and attentive. Sometimes were not so lucky. If getting your erotic needs met feels like going to a pot-luck dinner – you take what you get; maybe it will be better next time – it’s time to learn new ways of communicating your desires with your partner....

Talking about sex can seem…unsexy. If we embarrass easily or if we don’t really know just what we want, the whole topic can make us anxious. We worry about sounding stupid or demanding. Worst of all, we worry that talking about sex will spoil the mood. Instead of getting what we want, we may not get anything at all.

Some conversations are easiest to have away from the bedroom and well before you and the object of your affection are naked.  “I always talk about safer sex stuff before we get to my place,” Joe says. “It’s easier to ask about how he feels about condoms over dinner than when we’re between the sheets.” Joe’s other tip: he lowers his voice, looks his partner in the eye and tells him how much he wants to ride his partner’s dick all night long – if they can wrap that rascal first. Who could resist an invitation like that?

It’s easier to talk about problems outside the bedroom. “I would really like us to take it slower” is easy to hear over a glass of chardonnay at dinner. “Hey, slow down!” in an irritated voice when you’re getting pounded in bed is more likely to bruise your guy’s feelings. No one wants to feel like a klutz in bed.

Feelings are easy to bruise, especially around sex. Be kind rather than accusatory. See if you can frame requests in a way that is positive. “You know what would drive me crazy? I’d love for you to…” Try to make only one request at a time. If you bombard your partner with suggestions he may feel you are telling him he’s sexually incompetent. No one wants to hear that. Instead, be encouraging. Give him compliments if they are sincere. Sit close; maybe touch him gently and reassuringly.

And when you are getting it on and you get what you want, let him know it. Tell him “Yeah, that’s it!” or moan and sigh, move around, smile. Psychologists like to say when a certain behavior is rewarded, it happens more often. Compliment your partner often (without going overboard). Catch him doing something right, and let him know you love it. Building up his erotic self-confidence is good for you, too. This is one time when it can be very good manners to talk with your mouth full!

Take responsibility for your desires. Make “I” statements rather than “You” statements. There is a big difference between “I’d love you to get more forceful with me” and “You aren’t aggressive enough.”

Almost every man has had the experience of losing an erection during lovemaking. This is not fun. It can be pretty embarrassing. Talking about it is difficult, but discussing your concerns with your partner can be the path to resolving the issue. “I decided I shouldn’t be having sex with anyone if I was afraid to lose an erection with him,” Jorge says. “If I couldn’t feel secure enough for that, I was putting to much performance pressure on myself.” Letting his partners know that his body was sometimes slow to respond even if he was really enjoying himself helped him relax and be less distracted.

Ever heard the advice that to be considered a good conversationalist, you really need to be a good listener? It’s the same with sex. Often we give someone what we hope he’ll give us. We like having our nipples played with, so we play with his – even though it seems to annoy him. This isn’t likely to get you what you want, and it’s also not the way to be the most skilled lover around. You would be much better off telling him what you want and touching him the way he wants to be touched.

Ah, touch. There are so many ways to make physical contact with someone. Touching or being touched in exactly the same manner all the time can become irritating. Enough of exactly the same touch and our brains shut down – you will stop feeling the touch altogether. This is not pleasant. Better to vary how you make physical contact, alternating light touch with firmer, fingernail scratches with holding, teasing with squeezing.

If you are going to try to get more of what you want, it’s only fair that you give your partner more of what he wants, too. Ask him about particular turn-ons or fantasies. What gets him going? What turns him off? Don’t be defensive. You might even see if you can be sexy or playful when you initiate this conversation. You are telling him that he’s important and you want to give him pleasure. This is can be very different from a clichéd what-are-you-into conversation.

Don’t be afraid. Speak up. You will be imperfect and make mistakes. So what? Taking the initiative is masculine and sexy, and makes it much more likely that you will get what you want and deserve.

SOURCE: GAYTWOGETHER 

DID YOU GET GAY MARRIED IN NYC?

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Gay couples have taken marriage vows for the first time in New York this past Sunday, as the legalisation of same-sex marriage officially came into force in the Empire State.

More than 800 couples are expected to have married after the first 24 hours, with many opting to marry at the very first opportunity, including Kitty Lambert, 54, and Cheryle Rudd, 53, who became among the first to tie the knot at Niagara Falls soon after midnight.

Gay marriage legislation was passed on 24 June after the state Senate voted 33 to 29 in favour of the measure, enabling New York to become the sixth and most populous state to allow the same-sex union. But the policy could not take effect for 30 days, meaning couples could apply for marriage licenses but not marry until Sunday.

Evan Wolfson, president of Freedom to Marry group told the New York Times: “New York really reflects and signifies that the centre of gravity on this question [same-sex marriage] has shifted.

“It gives us tremendous momentum for continuing the journey the country has been on toward fairness.”

Meanwhile, the Williams Institute gay think-tank has estimated that the decision to legalise gay marriage in the state will bring in $155 million (£95 million) by way of tourism to New York in the first year alone. 

As reported by The Advocate, the organisation said in a statement: “The estimate is based on the experience of the five previous states that have extended marriage to same-sex couples and new Census 2010 data for New York released just last week.”

NOEL IS IN THE WORKING WAY...¡FINALLY!

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For of you that don't know Noel is my partner. He came here in 2007 to study, was done with school 2009 and we figured out ways for him to stay in the Bahamas as he is NOT a Bahamian. It was VERY hard for him not being able to do anything on the employment level and I am SO happy that someone FINALLY saw what he possess and decided that they could use his talents. CONGRATS BABES, KNOCK EM' DEAD!

TRUE BLOOD: SEASON 4, EPISODE 3 - IF YOU LOVE ME, WHY AM I DYIN'?

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We've seen a lot of twisted things on this show. That sex scene between Bill and Lorena last season comes to mind. But watching the young women of Hot Shot line up to have their way with a bound, drugged Jason ranks right up there among the most disturbing. "Poor Jason" was trending on Twitter even before that reveal. Let's start there...

Through a fireside chat, we got to hear the lore of the werepanther. Long ago, panthers were king of the natural world. "Sky people" came and turned humans against nature, but two humans, "ghost mama" and "ghost daddy," went to the woods, got a full moon, and said, "Mighty panther, we don’t want to live in the man world, we want to live with you -- in our skins, not in a dream." And so the panther ate the man and the woman, who soaked up its magic while they were in its belly. The panther puked them up (whole or in pieces not specified), and on the next full moon, they turned into panthers. There aren't a lot of panthers left today because of inbreedingbecause nature is pissed at them for letting humans fight her. Young Timbo said nature would be smarter if she turned on man instead of the werepanthers. It would have been easy for the writers to add a line about how she has (tornadoes, floods), but I like that they didn't: Let's pretend there's a chance that nature is on their side.

REST IN PEACE AMY WINEHOUSE

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FACE 2 FACE

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VOGUE

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"Vogue" is a dance-pop^[1] and house song which has disco^[2] influences. The song is written in the key of A flat major and has a tempo of 120 beats per minute.^[3] The song also contains a spoken part, where Madonna namechecks numerous celebrities of golden era Hollywood. The accompanying video showed Madonna paying homage to numerous golden era Hollywood actresses. The video was shot in black-and-white. In it, Madonna and her dancers are also seen vogueing.^[4]


"Vogue" is a song by American singer-songwriter Madonna from her soundtrack album I'm Breathless (Music from and Inspired by the film Dick Tracy) and was released on March 20, 1990, by Sire Records. Madonna was inspired by vogue dancer and choreographers Jose and Luis Xtravaganza from the Harlem "House Ball" community, the origin of the dance Vogue, and they introduced "Vogueing" to her at the New York City club "Sound Factory". Jose Xtravaganza is featured in the Historic Art Documentary How Do I Look, director Wolfgang Busch. It also appears in a slightly remixed and extended form on the 1990 greatest hits compilation The Immaculate Collection and Madonna's third greatest hits album, Celebration.

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: MAN VS. BOY

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I HAVE BEEN WONDERING HOW IS THAT SO MANY OF US END UP DATING THE BOY INSTEAD OF THE MAN. SO I THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD BE SOME WHAT HELPFUL IN AIDING US IN THE DATING/RELATIONSHIP GAME. I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT MOST OF US GETS CLUED INTO THE FACT THAT WE MIGHT BE THE BOY OURSELVES...ABOVE ALL I HOPE THAT THIS HELP THOSE THAT ARE WONDERING HOW & WHY THEY CANNOT SEEM TO GET IT RIGHT OR DATE THE MAN RATHER THAN THE BOY...WHAT I HAVE HERE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE MAN VS. BOY SYNDROME (AFTER ALL I AM JUST HERE TO TAME THE FIRE THAT BURNS WITHIN)

A BOY wants to control the man in his life.

A MAN knows that if he's truly him, he doesn't need controlling.

A BOY will yell at you for not calling them.

MEN are too busy to realize you hadn't.

A BOY is afraid to be alone.

A MAN revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.

A BOY ignores the good guys.

A MAN ignores the bad guys.

A BOY makes you come home.

A MAN makes you want to come home.

A BOY leaves their schedule wide-open and waits for a guy to call and make plans.

A MAN makes his own plans and nicely tells the guy to get in where he fits.

A BOY worries about not being handsome and/or good enough for his man.

A MAN knows that he is handsome and/or good enough for any man.

A BOY tries to monopolize all of his man's time (i.e., don't want him hanging with his friends).

A MAN realizes that little bit of space makes the TOGETHER TIME even more special-and goes out with his friends

A BOY thinks a man crying is weak.

A MAN offers his shoulder and a tissue.

A BOY wants to be spoiled to feed his ego.

A MAN will make him feel comfortable and engage his manhood.

A BOY gets hurt by one man and makes all men pay for it.

A MAN knows that was just one man.

A BOY falls in love and chase aimlessly after the object of his affection ignoring all the reject signs.

A MAN knows that sometimes the one's you love, don't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.

SECRETS...

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We’re only as sick as our secrets. Why do I LOVE the sound of that? Maybe because I think it would make a REAL good message for a graphic t-shirt. But alas, I digress and with that in mind I'd like to engage in a little blog psychoanalysis and reveal one of my deepest, darkest secrets. There've been times when the mere thought of this secret has nearly overwhelmed me; then there have been other times when I actually took a perverse pride in it. So what is this personal bit of secret? I've got your attention now, don't I? You probably even skipped ahead to see if this is really juicy.

Well, skip no further. My secret is this: I'm lazy, not living up to my full potential and do not push myself like I should. Yup, there it is, dragged from the darkness into the light. Oh, believe you me; I've never tried to suppress this awareness. But I eventually learned that this secret is my largest liability. I learned that with enough bright friends even a dim bulb can light up a room. Someone ought to print that on a graphic tee and drop it on the steps of the Vatican so the pope can wear it underneath his ‘holy’ garments.

IF NO ONE EVER CHALLENGES THE STATUS QUO...

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¿WHERE WOULD WE BE?

TWO AND A HALF 'REVEAL'

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CBS has released the public's first glimpse of the re-tooled (Ha! That never gets old) version of "Two and a Half Men," which now stars Ashton Kutcher instead of Charlie Sheen. "All will be revealed 9/19/11, " it jokes/promises, and Jon Cryer's character doesn't seem too happy about what's going to be revealed:

Teasing “All Will Be Revealed” is it effective? Sure, it plays off the curiosity around the recast show and hints at characteristic Men raunchy humor and it got my attention (I've never seen the show btw). 

What do you think? Does this make you want to watch the return of Men?

RIDDING YOURSELF OF TOXIC GAY FRIENDS

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People like to surround themselves with fun friends—the guys and gals who can keep our spirits high in good times and support us when we're down. Unfortunately, some of us are so desperate to feel popular, or to simply feel like we have friends, that we invite toxic people into our lives.

This can be especially true for gays. After all, we come from a world where we're told we're less-than-normal, and in our fear of rejection we sometimes befriend people who don't have our best interests at heart. This may not be deliberate, but these influences can hold us back from larger, more positive goals. So while these folks can help us to stand out in a crowd and that makes us feel good on the surface, the truth is that they're not helping us grow and really stand out in the right ways.

With that in mind we turned to life coach Michael Monitz and compiled a list of friend archetypes. We then offered reasons why they may be keeping you from creating positive changes in your life, and what to do so you can be yourself in a positive way.

Cool Club Kids

You're always popular with these guys, but it's mainly around the party scene. With so much of queer culture centered around clubbing that makes sense. But is it healthy?

That depends on what happens outside of the club. Real friends stand by you during tough times, so ask yourself if these guys will be there when a loved one dies, if you need a place to crash, or if your car breaks down at the side of the road.

If so, great! But if you suspect they'll only be there to party, then they're not the kind of people you need for a support network.

Annoying Eeyore

He may be a sadly sweet and adorable character in Winnie the Pooh stories, but do you really want someone in your life who always looks at life like it's a glass half empty?

First, make sure that this guy is really one of your good friends. If so, and if you suspect that he's really suffering from depression, then help him get professional counseling. It's not your job to heal him.

However, this guy may only be a "friend" in quotes—we all seem to have one or two of them in our lives—who is always down for the sake of getting attention. In that case Monitz warns that this guy could end up bringing you down, too. "There is a point when a friend has to stop being a victim to life and start being a survivor," he says. "You can't help him make this change. He has to be willing to do it on his own. Be careful not to get too sucked into it. Misery does love company."

Users Are Losers

You have a kind heart but your friends should be helping and supporting you just as much as you help them. If they're constantly using you then it's going to build up resentment. Take a realistic look at your friendships and see if certain people only call you when they need something. If so, it may be time to reevaluate their role in your life.

Single Stud

When it comes to hitting the clubs, traveling, or doing any social activity, it's great to have a partner in crime. Just make sure your relationship transcends neediness. You're investing time and energy into this friendship, and you don't want to be dumped whenever your friend meets a hottie.

Now it's time to look in the mirror. If you're the guy who forgets his friends when he starts dating someone new, stop it! As Monitz says, "There is nothing wrong with having friends when you have a boyfriend."

Some men also have a hard time dealing with their cruising buddy going off the market. A real friend supports you on your journey—or helps you see things clearly when you start dating a loser. If you're faced with a buddy who's not supporting you, talk to him. Any genuine friend will want to resolve the issue.

Finally, Monitz sums things up like this: "To help you decide if your friend is toxic, simply ask yourself, 'When I hang out with my friend, does life (overall life, not just the moments you are together) get better or does it get worse?'" If life gets better then you're on the right track. If not, then it's time to make some changes.

SOURCE: GAY DOT COM