FORGIVE WITHOUT KNOWING

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Isn't it amazing how we can carry around dislike for the things others did to us for years on end and not know that it is no longer there? Events from being a young(er) gay male had me in place where I believed that if I get over the fence, I should bring others over as well and I foolishly thought that the others shared this sentiment. I soon found out that I was DEAD wrong!

I had a friend that I hung out with, we went to parties, clubs, movies etc. I paid his way, put gas in his car all because he had very little money. But I didn’t mind because I believed he would do the same for me. As time passed he told me of his desire to buy a townhouse of his own. I thought that was a good idea and something we all should work on achieving one day. He informed me that he called the bank and they told him what he needed and he said that he was set. Now being puzzled  I asked what he meant by that, he said, ‘I have over 100 grand saved in the bank just for this purpose.’ @ That moment you could have knocked me over with a feather because here I was helping someone who said over and over he had no money and asked me to help him. Many say that he was just protecting himself and that he did what he thought was right. Some say I shouldn't have cut off the friendship, but @ the time I did what I felt was best given that I helped him not just financially.

Now fast forward to the present, the same guy is a member of the gym I go to and though we don’t chat and get caught up on each other’s lives, we acknowledge each other’s presence. I never hated him, but I knew that I was hurt by how he chose to treat our friendship, and it is nice to know that I forgave him without either of us even knowing I did. I guess in the process, time took care of everything and I am glad to see that I cleared this weed in the gardens of my soul. I can only hope he finds a way to do the same as I remember the things he had to deal with when we were close friends.