30 DAYS TO A BETTER MAN DAY 7: RECONNECT WITH AN OLD FRIEND

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We are isolated more than ever before. According to a study conducted by the American Sociological Review in 2006, over the past two decades, the number of confidantes Americans feel comfortable discussing important matters with has shrunk by a third. 25% of the study’s respondents said they had no one with whom they felt comfortable discussing important matters, more than double the percentage who felt that way 20 years ago. And 20% said they had only one person with which to do so. The greatest drop in confidantes occurred in non-familial relations. Or in other words, our friends.¹

What a lamentable state of things. Can we get by without any friends? Surely. But can friends enrich our lives and make us happier? Most definitely. There’s something invaluable about knowing that you are not alone in the world. That no matter what, there’s a guy out there who you absolutely know has your back. A friend that would come to your side if you were beset with a crisis.

So what was the difference between the men of the 19^th Century and our day? Did they need friendships more some how? That’s debatable. Were they less busy? Men of today would probably like to think so. Busyness is our favorite excuse for why we can’t make time for the good things in life. But given that the men of the 19^th century had no electricity, no modern appliances, no internet, no cars, no packaged meals, no cell phones, and no fast food, unless they were a slave owner, which the men above were not, then they weren’t sitting around all day twiddling their thumbs.

So what was the difference between them and us? They weren’t as distracted from what’s important in life as we are. They didn’t labor under the belief that watching Lost was an adequate substitution for friendship. And they didn’t think that checking a buddy’s Facebook update was equivalent to catching up with him.

It’s amazing that with the proliferation of time-saving devices these days, we feel busier then ever. Yet, it’s all relative. We’re not busier than ever. And if we feel that way, it’s because we aren’t prioritizing the right kinds of things in our lives. And that’s going to change this month, starting with today’s task.

Day 7 Task: Reconnect With an Old Friend

It’s not as if men like Speed and Lincoln had an edge on this friendship business because they stayed in one place their whole lives. Men back then were just like you; they made close friendships and then often went their separate ways. The difference is that they made the effort to stay in touch. Thomas Jefferson and John Adams were apart from each other for 14 years, yet they kept their friendship alive by writing 158 letters to each other.

So your task today is to make like men of old and reconnect with a friend, either by letter, phone, or email. Wild dogs shall be released upon any man who attempts to complete this task via Twitter.

I highly recommend the letter option myself. I personally don’t like talking on the phone. Letter writing is an excellent tradition to begin with your buddy, and unlike an email, it begs an answer and will almost certainly not be ignored.

This is not a task to arrange a hang out with your friend (that will come up later, rest assured); you need only to shoot the shiz and catch up on old times.

SOURCE: THE ART OF MANLINESS