Lord knows this is not the sort of thing I brag about. But I have a ridiculously happy relationship with Noel. REALLY, it's almost disgusting. We goof around like kids (well mostly me). We basically act like giddy newlyweds. Sometimes we'll do something so revolting, like say I LOVE YOU, that we're forced to make gagging noises to maintain our dignity. Cute huh? But as cute as that can be, there seems to be SO few of us out there that are looking for a stable relationship. Moreover there seems to be this thinking that we are the ones that are doing something wrong…I find it interesting how there is this free-fall in the community AND EVERY man is fair game…I get that as kids we were taught to share and share alike but that doesn’t give us the RIGHT to go after another’s relationship. Most of us live as if we are here to DISHONOR the bonds of relationships @ the expense of the community. Let’s be honest here. In many cases, most GAY men KNOW that NOTHING can come from them interjecting themselves as a third party in a relationship. However by them acting in such a manner FURTHER makes things difficult for us. I wonder what we need for us STOP the bleeding? What do we need so that OUR community can STOP falling further AND further behind? I don’t know WHO, WHAT or WHEN things will change, but LET ME MAKE IT PLAIN: I do NOT apologize for being in a COMMITTED and LOVING relationship. And if I may CLEAR THE AIR, many of us GAY men are tired of trying to deal with boys trapped in adult male bodies that try SO hard to bring drama of this sort. I am TIRED of having to put up with the silence from these men that have a lack of intestinal fortitude in policing their hormones. Funny we are VERY vocal when it comes to blame, but NOT to admission. There is a lot of SELF DECEPTION among the males in the community; and there seems to be this expectation that there should be some sort of pardon because they can’t help themselves. Is it fair to those who are making their relationships work? Does it make sense? I SAY NO! They focus their attention on THEIR needs and continue in their own selfish ways. What truly amazes me is how many of us allow these boys to disrupt our lives. I figure if we are willing to be used as a hydrant and act like a dog, then we shouldn’t be amazed if you find fleas in your midst…ISN’T IT HIGH TIME THAT WE DEVELOP A PURPOSE THAT BETTER REFLECTS HOW WE’RE EACH THE MASTERS OF SHAPING & FORMING OUR COMMUNITY? WHEN IT COMES TO CREATING LIVES OF PURPOSE & FULFILLMENT NOTHING WILL REPLACE THE INDIVIDUAL ACCESSING THE WISDOM OF SELF PRESERVATION THAT SUSTAINS OUR COMMUNITY LIKE THE UNIONS OF TWO GAY MEN…SO WHEN ARE WE GONNA BE LED BY OUR HEART N’ SOUL INTSTEAD OF HORMONES N’ EMOTIONS & JUST LET LOVE…
let me be the first to say i am ecstatic that you've found love babes and are happy. Isn't it grande :0) i will be at the wedding if invited of course. I am an avid reader... i love how you project your thoughts to the masses love. Blessed- Pro
ReplyDeleteKudos to you and Noel. As for why others would attempt to destroy or disrupt committed relationships, who knows what the motivation is. However, if a relationship is solid, the sinister actions of others will be futile. Peace and joy.
ReplyDeleteSo pleased to hear that you and Noel are in a committed relationship filled with all the wonderment that relationships should be made of, and being so very open and honest about your dismay when it comes to how some in the community continues to violate and disrespect couples.
ReplyDeleteI imagine there are many reasons for those actions from some in fact it is self deception amongst other things, there is that old ssaying "misery loves company."
We should all relish the idea of being in a committed relationship and instead of trying to disrupt the happy couples, but instead take lessons and reap the benefits of a committed relationship that may await us at sometime.
Kishna Andrew Marc Carey, hearing you describe your relationship fills me with joy. I think it's beautiful what you and Noel share, and I love it that you are proud of what you have and are not trying to hide Noel and act like you're single in the blogosphere.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love how you lay it down and tell it as it is. I'll have to 'ditto' the sentiment about many being led by hormones. This is something I find very disappointing.
But things that are not necessarily benefitial for us are the ones that have a pulling effect. Having said that, I believe, deep down, we ALL know better. But I guess it's a matter of self-control, self-respect, the value that you place on yourself, and what you want and need for your own life.
What will it take for the 'community' to stop falling further and further behind? Is it a question of a man in despair?
I know how you feel...relationships are great
ReplyDeletewho are we to place judgement.we are only men.Judgement belongs to no one but God.
ReplyDeletePeople should mind there bussiness and let others be.How are you mate?
ROBYN, IT'S NOT ABOUT PLACING JUDGEMENT, IT'S ABOUT SHOWING OTHERS THAT THERE IS ANOTHER WAY, AND CAN I BE SO BOLD AS TO SAY, A BETTER WAY TO LIVE. BECAUSE CERTAIN TRAITS AND BEHAVIOURS ARE NOT ONLY SELF DESTRUCTIVE, THEY MESS UP THE WORLD AS A WHOLE.
ReplyDeleteCAN I SAFELY SAY THAT IF IT WAS UP TO YOU, ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING WOULD GO? AFTER ALL, WE ARE NOT GOD TO JUDGE, RIGHT?
SO, WOULD THE WORLD BE MARCHING IN UNISON, ON A ONE WAY TICKET TO GOD KNOWS WHERE?
EVEN WHERE GOD IS CONCERNED, THERE ARE HOUSE RULES THAT EXISTS TO SHAPE US IN BEING BETTER PEOPLE, AND THAT WILL HELP US TO LIVE OUR BEST LIVES. IT'S NOT A FREE FOR ALL, 'WHATEVER', KIND OF SITUATION
YOUR 'WE ARE ONLY MEN' STATEMENT,IS AN EXCUSE FOR BAD BEHAVIOUR.
I'M JUST SAYING...
ERRR... DON'T BE MAD, ROBYN.
ReplyDeleteYou seem to be content and blissful in your relationship! Many could only hope for such joy, man. Cherish it and let all negativity fall by the wayside. Enjoy this journey with your mate!! It is a motivation to others.
ReplyDeleteIt all comes down to the same old shit - boys will be boys, dawgs will be dawgs, and men are men.
ReplyDeleteThe unfortunate biological fact is that we're ruled by *two* heads, not one, and it takes a lot of maturity and emotional development to overcome the smaller of those two heads.
Some men just don't outgrow it. But when they do, as you and Noel have clearly discovered, the rewards are ample...
You know I must commend your relationship...I know that you are a good guy that found true love. How you found Noel makes me more in awwww. I really do love the person that you are and I know that you truly do all to make Noel happy and vice versa. I seen your pics and I can imagine the two of you guys playing around.
ReplyDeleteYou know there cant be a relationship unless there is fun. So Gayte when Im ready to breeze to the Baha....then be ready to show me some fun...haha
hey just dont forget my invite to the wed
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear how much you value your relationship. I'm in a similiar relationship and sometimes I feel ashamed that things are going so well.
ReplyDeleteThere are some (not friends) that question why do I always have to talk about us. Why am I so happy all the time? Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Well I'm proud of my man and my relationship. Why shouldn't I want to shout it from the rooftop?!
Keep on, keepin' on. You two will flourish.
Congrats!
Love is a beautiful thing. When I found myself in love, I think I was doing the same thing. Don't let it wear thin. Keep it up. Remain happy!
ReplyDeletePRO’S HOOD – THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS…OF COURSE YOU’LL GET AN INVITE TO THE WEDDING…
ReplyDeleteLOSOJOSNUEVOS – I AGREE WITH YOU 1000%...BUT INTERESTING ENOUGH WHEN I WROTE THIS BLOG ENTRY IT WASN’T GEARED TO ANYONE IN PARTICULAR, BUT AFTER TODAY I HAVE TO WONDER…
ReplyDeleteCHET – I LOVE HOW YOUR MIND WORKS…
ReplyDeleteSHALLOTTE – I AM GLAD THAT I CAN FILL YOU WITH JOY…& I COULDN’T ACT LIKE I WAS SINGLE IF I WANTED TOO…YEP THAT’S THE QUESTION INDEED…
ReplyDeleteWONDER MAN – YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN…
ReplyDeleteROBYN – I AM GREAT…HOW ABOUT YOURSELF?
ReplyDeleteTHE ANTONYM – I DO THAT EVERY SINGLE DAY…
ReplyDeleteKA-OS – PITY HOW MEN WILL BE MEN HUH?
ReplyDeleteOYIN – THANK YOU…HOPE TO SEE YOU @ THE WEDDING…
ReplyDeleteACHILLES – I WISH WE LIVED NEAR EACH OTHER SO NOEL AND I COULD HANG WITH ANOTHER COUPLE THAT VALUE THEIR RELATIONSHIP…THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS…
ReplyDeleteACOUSTIC SOUL – YES IT IS…I WON’T…I WILL…
ReplyDeleteIll be there...wouldnt miss it for the world.
ReplyDeleteLOVE IS INDEED A BEAUTIFUL THING. I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY AND I CONSIDER MYSELF VERY FORTUNATE AND BLESSED TO BE WITH YOU AND TO SHARE MY LIFE WITH YOU... THANK U TO EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND KIND WORDS......THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN BEING WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE......
ReplyDeleteI find that men like men who are attached to someone else. It's a type of selection that really needs to be identified in this community that really you are not desirable until someone else is with you. I've seen it constantly and I feel it's even innate that we can tell if someone is in a relationship... I personally call it the "Coming out of the Woodwork Syndrome" whatever you call it, it's real but we know how people can try and interfere in others relationships but despite the challenges there is still another side in all of this - offers don't have to be accepted
ReplyDelete