MY TIDE HAS COME

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TODAY IS THE DAY THAT I TAKE HOLD OF MY FUTURE & SHIFT MY PRIORITIES & FOCUS IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION; TODAY IS THE DAY THAT I TIP THE SCALES IN MY FAVOR AS THE MY TIDE COMES IN…Today I wash away the troubles AND call forth freshness into my life. For far too long I have been @ the mercy of those that sought to break AND destroy me. NOW I STAND WITH MY CHEST OPEN REVEALING A HEART THAT NEVER IS BROKEN! It’s 10 years since I have been a YES man OR that man that felt trap AND couldn’t break free…that man that saw your injustice AND felt powerless…that man that saw the psychology of YOUR deceit. The secrets that were deliberately hidden from me related closely to your lies, but I saw right through you. Your lies AND deceit sought to the increase conflict that has followed me all my life…further fueling the battle between the internal AND external view of the of world. You seem to think that my world is composed of unrealistic fantasies but this perceived reality is ALL yours. I have my head in the clouds, YES! As every man should, but make NO mistake my feet are firmly planted on the ground. Please do NOT blame for wanting to LIVE while I am alive, isn’t that what you are doing? You want me to become so besieged by deep feelings of inadequacy that I may jump into the sea AND attempt to swim towards your ship of LIES for you believe it to be superior to mine. This psychological effort on your part will NOT work on my unconscious mind because I saw you LOOONNNGGG before you saw me; I have dealt with the likes of you AND you will NOT prevail. Though I was born in an unhealthy AND brutal psyche where men like you take advantage of men like me, I am here letting you know that I am NOT my mother OR her mother AND her mother before her. This so call SOPHISTICATED system of psychological warfare is DEAD to me…LEARN IT…ACCEPT IT…DEAL WITH IT…OR NOT…THE CHOICE IS YOURS! I WILL SPEND THIS MOMENT CLEANSING MYSELF, RIDDING MYSELF OF YOU & BECOMING MORE AWARE OF ME. SO SAD THAT YOU DID NOT GET TO SEE THAT I AM GIFT FROM THE UNIVERSE, SO SAD THAT YOU WERE TOO CAUGHT UP IN TRYING TO BRING ME DOWN…SO SAD, LORD IT SO SAD! SO AS YOU CARRY ON WITH YOUR LIFE, YOU WILL REMEMBER ME…NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO SHAKE ME & IF IT TAKES FOR YOU TO SEE THE ERROR OF YOUR WAYS ON YOUR DEATH BED YOU WILL SEE THE FORGIVENESS THAT I AM NOW GIVING YOU…

¿R U THY GAY BROTHER'S KEEPER?

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What is human freedom? Many may be forgiven for imagining that freedom involves being able to act and think as they wish, but some disagree. Some seem to believe that human freedom can only exist when one submits to some authority which tells them how to act AND think. So when a MAN like me takes it upon himself to defy this “AUTHORITY” AND bring the INCREDIBLE experience of HIS sexuality to them, I know that I STRIKE @ THE CORE OF THIS AUTHORITY! 

I am often baffled by SOCIETY’S reaction to a man such as myself, but I am even MORE mystified by the ones that consider themselves to be GOD fearing AND Christian. This division seems so HUGE that there seems to be NO way of correcting it…OR IS THERE? I SAY HOW ABOUT WE ALL MANUP & SIMPLY ACCEPT EACH OTHER? OR IS IT MUCH EASIER TO JUST LEAVE THINGS THE WAY THEY ARE? THE REPRESSION THAT THEY IMPOSE ON US SAYS NO! 

For far too long WE have been having SHAMEFUL SEX that has been called EVIL n’ WICKED, when it is one of the HIGHEST GIFT n’ GREATEST PLEASURE any could ever harvest. Far be it for me to brag, but OUR sexuality is about sharing AND exploring intimacy beyond the density of OUR material body. It is the state of living that WE can fully live in vibration of the soul. It is sad to see what has happened to sexuality over time AND how society has gone on this WITCH hunt for men such as myself. Due to this WE have lost most of OUR cosmic energy when it comes to SEX. Society AND Christianity have turned it into something that is filled with guilt and shame. No matter because I feel that there is a CHANGE in the air; the cosmic cycles are unfolding throughout the universe, which are beyond the control of those that HATE us. The age of HATRED is coming to an end AND in it will be replaced with LOVE. This FEAR of OUR sexuality is INAPPROPRIATE N’ UNACCEPTED. 

EARTH HOUR (LIGHTS OUT)

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EARTH HOUR is an international event that asks households and businesses to turn off their lights and non-essential electrical appliances for one hour on the evening of 29 March at 8 pm local time until 9 pm to promote electricity conservation and thus lower carbon emissions. It is promoted by World Wide Fund for Nature Australia (WWF), an environmental lobby group, and the Sydney Morning Herald. The first Earth Hour was held in Sydney, Australia between 7:30 pm and 8:30 pm on 31 March 2007. The 2007 Earth Hour is estimated to have cut Sydney's mains electricity consumption by between 2.1% and 10.2% for that hour, with as many as 2.2 million people taking part. A second Earth Hour, in 2008, is planned to be an international event held in Sydney, many partner cities, and individuals around the world participating.

¿WHY ARE YOUR FRIENDS YOUR FRIENDS?

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Have you ever wondered if the people you spend your social time with are really the best people you could be hanging around? Did you choose your friends or are they just FRIENDS of habit and environment? As we get older, I find that we have fewer friends and more acquaintances. We outgrow many things during the course of a lifetime and take many detours. During the course of our journey we make new friends with others because we have something in common OR something that attracts one another. For a long time, I've wondered about the meaning of the word FRIEND. From my understanding, a FRIEND is someone that lets us be who we are AND vice versa. With that said, how does that theory stack up in the HOMOSEXUAL world? Far be it for me to criticize OUR community but OUR reality dictate that WE have NO real allegiance OR loyalty among ourselves. I can only pray that during the course of lives WE evolve in some way or another. Now some of us evolve faster than others and in different directions…OR NOT @ ALL! I get that NO two people are ever the same. Each individual is shaped by their own unique set of experiences. But in all of that how is that WE can’t find some REAL tangible element that can foster a FRIENSHIP? If I were to examine our lives @ an early age, one would see that we tend to form most of our early friendships with the other kids we go to school with or kids of a similar age living in the same neighborhood. These friendships may last for our entire lives but often as we get older these friendships simply fade as we move away from the area we grew up in or we take differing directions in life. The same goes for HOMOSEXUAL; WE form friendships out of this need to SOCIALIZE in certain circles. But what happens when one of starts to, I don’t know grow for whatever reason? FRIENDS COME & GO THAT IS THE NATURE OF OUR LIVES. HOWEVER MAKING NEW FRIENDS & REMAINING FRIENDS SHOULD BE AN EFFORTLESS PROCEDURE. I FIND THAT HOMOSEXUAL MEN DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY THEMSELVES DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEMSELVES. SO MANY OF US FORCE OURSELVES TO BE FRIENDS WITH OTHERS THAT WE NEVER GET TO REALLY GET THE CONCEPT OF WHAT A FRIEND TRULY IS. CHOOSING FRIENDS SHOULD BE AS NATURAL AS BREATHING, IT SHOULD BE A SIMPLE PROCESS TJAT RAISES THE INTERNAL VIBRATION & LEAD TO A HAPPIER LIFE NO MATTER IF THAT FRIEND IS IN YOUR LIFE OR NOT…SO TELL ME, WHY ARE YOUR FRIENDS YOUR FRIENDS?

¡IT IS TIME!

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GAY MEN…IT IS TIME FOR A BREAKTHROUGH! The other night I was @ a party and saw a few persons that I have not seen in years. Now the interesting thing for me is that they all seem to be in the same place they were almost 10 years ago. This saddens me because this means that they got caught in trappings of their own. Though created by them, I cannot accept the fact that WE have NOT taken OUR rightful place in this world.

We need to BREAK free from the STATUS QUO of existence AND live the life that is intended for us. Now I know I have written about this before, but I felt so moved that I had to put another message out there. Hence I am speaking to the VERY human need that allow us to resist ourselves as though it were possible to ignore who we are. Nonetheless, I SPEAK change for you; I SPEAK for you to find the courage to against the STATUS QUO of your existence. 

I GET THAT LIFE IS PAINFUL @ TIMES, BUT THERE IS LIBERATION IN PAIN…YOU JUST HAVE TO FIND IT. UNDERNEATH THE DISCOMFORT, YOU CAN FIND THE ELEMENT THAT IS BLOCKING THE NATURAL FLOW OF POSITIVE ENERGY INTO YOUR LIVES. IT IS TIME! THINK OF IT LIKE DISMANTLING A DAM INSIDE OF YOU…MOST OF THE WORK INVOLVES CLEARING OUT YOUR INNER OBSTACLES SO THAT THE RIVER OF LIFE CAN FLOW UNOBSTRUCTED. HOW ABOUT WE ALL GIVE IT A TRY?

¿WOULD YOU RATHER?

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...SEX

I FIND IT INTERESTING HOW THE HOMOSEXUAL MIND-SET IS REDUCED TO SEX, WITH VERY LITTLE CONSIDERATION FOR THE EMOTIONAL & SPIRITUAL BONDS THAT GAY MEN CAN SHARE IN LOVE. I FIND IT SCARY THAT MOST GAY MEN WOULD RATHER A QUICK “HIT” OVER TRYING TO GET SOMETHING THAT IS MORE TANGIBLE & REAL. YES SEX IS INCREDIBLE, BUT HOW CAN IT TAKE YOU IT’S PHYSICALITY? SEX IS IMPORTANT BUT IT IS NOT EVERYTHING; SO WHY DO WE CHASE IT LIKE IT IS ALL THAT MATTERS? I KNOW THAT SEX IS ONE THING THAT MANKIND HAS IN COMMON; BUT AS A FRACTION OF WHO WE ARE AS GAY MEN & WE ONLY COULD CHOOSE ONE WHICH ONE WOULD YOU CHOOSE? WOULD YOU RATHER SEX OR LOVE WHEN ALL IS SAID & DONE?

LOVE...

CARBON FOOTPRINTS

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We all know that our planet needs our help right now, but we often feel unsure about what to do, where to make an effort, and what will really help. The good news is that we can heal the planet on a daily basis by merely watching our CARBON FOOTPRING. A CARBON FOOTPRINT is a "measure of the impact human activities have on the environment in terms of the amount of green house gases produced, measured in units of carbon dioxide" It is meant to be useful for individuals and organizations to conceptualize their personal (or organizational) impact in contributing to global warming. A conceptual tool in response to carbon footprints are carbon offsets, or the mitigation of carbon emissions through the development of alternative projects such as solar or wind energy or reforestation. A carbon footprint can be seen as a subset of earlier uses of the concept of ecological footprints.

REDUCING A CARBON FOOTPRINT - The carbon footprint can be efficiently and effectively reduced by applying the following steps:

• Life Cycle Assessment (LCA) to accurately determine the current carbon footprint.
• Identification of hot-spots in terms of energy consumption and associated CO2-emissions.
• Optimisation of energy efficiency and, thus, reduction of CO2-emissions and reduction of other GHG emissions contributed from production processes.
• Identification of solutions to neutralise the CO2 emissions that cannot be eliminated by energy saving measures.

The last step includes carbon offsetting; investment in projects that aim at the reducing CO2 emissions, for instance biofuels or tree planting activities.

How about we REDUCE the energy usage in OUR homes by:

• Reduce the use of electrical appliances.
• When replacing appliances, try to buy appliances which use less power and have a good energy rating.
• Turn things off when not in use.
• Replace standard light bulbs with their low energy equivalents.

HOW ABOUT GOING GREEN? It is said that GREEN is a combination of the colors yellow and blue, each of which brings its own unique energy to the overall feeling of the color green. Blue exudes calm and peace, while yellow radiates liveliness and high levels of energy. As a marriage between these two very different colors, GREEN is a unifier of opposites, offering both the excitement of yellow and the tranquility of blue. It energizes blue’s passivity and soothes yellow’s intensity, inspiring us to be both active and peaceful at the same time. It is a mainstay of the seasons of spring and summer, thus symbolizing birth and growth. GREEN balances our energy so that, in looking at it, we feel confident that growth is inevitable. It also gives us the energy to contribute to the process of growth, to nurture ourselves appropriately, without becoming overly attached to our part in the process. GREEN reminds us to let go and let nature do her work, while at the same time giving us the energy to do our own.

NO MAN'S LAND

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BENEATH THE SURFACE OF MY SKIN LIE YEARS & YEARS OF HISTORY; THIS ENERGY OF MY ANCESTORS & THEIR SURROUNDINGS IS WHAT I CARRY WITH ME INTO THE PRESENT & FUTURE…EACH CELL WITHIN ME HAS HISTORY THAT DATES FROM THE BEGINNING OF TIME & AS THE SAND SLOWLY FALLS IN THE HOUR GLASS I HAVE COME TO FIND THAT I LIVE IN A NO MAN’S LAND. From an early age I made a choice to either make something of myself OR face the brutal agony of the legacy that is my family. I LOVE MY FAMILY WITH ALL OF WHO I AM; I JUST FIND IT HARD THAT THEY CANNOT DO IT FOR THEMSELVES! I find that the way they think AND go about life is so STRANGE and CONFUSING. Why do they make things so HARD for themselves? Why be like everyone else on this planet? Why live as if there is NO life @ all? When I hold up this mirror of TRUTH I see myself CLEARLY. I can see how I would endeavor to be DIFFERENT~BETTER, I can see why I am who I am, I can feel what it is like to truly be a HU~MAN…Though my childhood was not a bad one, I cannot say that it was good either. My family did all they knew how; yet I often wonder why it seemed as if I was the smart one? WHY DO I USE LOGIC & REASON? WHY DO I WEIGH THE PROS & CONS? WHY DON’T I LACK THE BRAINPOWER TO RISE ABOVE MY ADVERSITIES. My family like so many seems to LACK the self awareness that is needed to survive in this world. They like so many other persons in society harbor a falsified view of themselves that prevents them from their TRUE human origin. If only they viewed the world from a reality point of view in order to gain a better understanding of humanity. I know that this is difficult AND reality requires total understanding on the objective level as well as on the subjective level of existence. But they do not have any REAL excuse; DO THEY? AS I SIT AND WRITE THIS I ASK MY SELF IF I AM TOO HARSH & NEGATIVE? I GUESS FROM THE TONE OF THIS ENTRY ONE WOULD KNOW WHAT ANSWER I CAME UP WITH. I FEEL THAT IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS THAT AS A FAMILY WE SHOULD TREAT EACH OTHER WITH LOVE N’ RESPECT! HOW CAN YOU MAKE ME LOVE YOU WHEN YOU TRY TO MAKE ME NOT BE GAY? HOW CAN WE AS A FAMILY GROW WHEN WE CANNOT TALK TO EACH OTHER? WHAT WILL THE FUTURE BE SINCE THE PRESENT IS ALL F&CKED UP? I WISH THEY WOULD STOP THIS SELF-REJECTION THAT INVARIABLY BRINGS PAIN & CONFUSION. WE ARE LIVING IN AN AGE OF HEIGHTENED INSECURITIES & IT SHOWS. THE SAD THING FOR ME IS THAT FEW PEOPLE OVERCOME THIS ON THEIR OWN; I AM GLAD THAT I GET TO BE ONE THAT DOES. WHEN I GET TO THINK ABOUT THE WORLD & THE WAY IT IS; I FEEL SAD BECAUSE SO MANY OF US ARE LIVING IN A NO MAN’S LAND…THIS inevitably CAUSES MORE chaos THAT GOES AGAINST HUMANITY. THE DOWN FALL OF THE HUMAN RACE IS SAD & EVERY ONE WHO IS NOT WORKING TO RESTORE SOME SENSE OF BALANCE CONTRIBUTES TO THE INJUSTICES THAT IS CREATED. SO TO MY FAMILY I ASK, WHAT IS THE COMMITMENT THAT YOU MADE TO MY FUTURE? WERE YOU THE BEST THAT I COULD HAVE BEEN GIVEN? IF SO THEN WHY ARE YOU AFRAID? AFRAID TO SPEAK UP. AFRAID OF PEOPLE. AFRAID TO GET INFROMED. AFRAID OF YOURSELVES. AFRAID, AFRAID, AFRAID. HOW ABOUT YOU STOP GIVING YOUR LIFE TO CHURCH ORGANIZATIONS, ALL OF WHICH ARE MORE CONFUSED THAT YOU ARE ALREADY. HOW ABOUT YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF INSTEAD? IT IS VITALLY IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE & WHERE YOU CAME FROM, THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO UNLOCK YOUR HIDDEN POTENTIAL….UNTIL THEN I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU IN NO MAN’S LAND.

HAPPY EARTH~DAY DEAVIAN

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May your spirit keep the freedom

of a butterfly in spring

and your heart be filled always

with the joys of simple things.

May your essence claim the freshness

of the new laid morning dew.

All of this...and more...

is my Birthday wish for you.

They say that every 7 years the cells in our bodies regenerate and numerology states that 7 is Thought/consciousness…So when I think about my niece I can’t help but smile. She came to this planet 7 years ago on this date in blaze of glory and she shows no sign of stopping. I am putting the energy out there and letting her know that the world is hers AND no one OR anything can change that! When you get old enough to make your way in this world, I want you to read this and remember what a SPECIAL person you are to me AND everyone else that your existence has touched…

PÂQUES DIMANCHE

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IL S'EST LEVÉ !

SAMEDI SAINT

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ÉTENDEZ-LE POUR SE REPOSER

BON VENDREDI

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L'ÉPREUVE

L'ARRESTATION

LE PORTEUR EN TRAVERS

TOUCHEZ LA CROIX

LA LUTTE DE JÉSUS

LE VOYAGE DIFFICILE

PÉCHÉS DU MONDE

LA MAIN HUMAINE

L'ONGLE FINAL

POUR NOS PÉCHÉS...

JEUDI SAINT

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LE DERNIER DÎNER

LE LAVAGE DES PIEDS

LA PRIÈRE DANS LE JARDIN

LE BAISER AU LOIN

LE DÉMENTI

LE PROFIT

LA LUTTE

THE RELATIONSHIP PEOPLE

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For as long as I can remember the concept of RELATIONS peaked my curiosity. I was ALWAYS caught up in the dynamics of RELATIONS and how they work. It is said that, A RELATIONSHIP IS A SPECIFIC CONNECTION BETWEEN OBJECTS, ENTITIES OR CONCEPTS. Though the more typical form of RELATIONSHIPS are SOCIAL, the PERSONAL, INTIMATE & CAUSAL ones the more important to me. Successful, healthy RELATIONSHIPS are essential for fulfilling, stress-free lives they say. However there are SO many of us that do NOT know how RELATIONSHIPS work AND the significant role the play in the lives of everyone on this planet. AS A GAY MAN IT IS MY PERSONAL VIEW THAT AS SOON AS WE FULLY COMPREHEND THE IMPORTANCE OF A RELATIONSHIP, THE SOONER WE CAN GET THIS WORLD WHERE IT OUGHT TO BE.

1. SO LET’S START WITH THE FAMILY – Understanding the concept of RELATIONSHIPS should start from the home, in this event one can fully examine AND recognize how they relate to world AND it to them. I find that the foundation of one’s home should be the STRONGEST of any RELATIONSHIP. A stable family RELATIONSHIP unifies the community AND make for an unyielding society. Nonetheless, today’s society family RELATIONSHIP leaves A LOT to be desired. The breakdown of the family is a TRAGEDY, one has to look @ the VIOLENCE and PAIN that strikes us every single day and take note of how the one RELATIONSHIP that should be in tact is NOT! For far too long we have been looking beyond the problem AND carry on with lives that should make one hang his head in shame, but that is far from where we are…SO FAR! The quality of the RELATIONSHIP between MOTHER, FATHER, SISTER, BROTHER, AUNT, UNCLE, COUSINS & GRANDPARENTS have a real impact on the RELATIONSHIP of the family.
2. IN THE COMMUNITY – There are many RELATIONSHIPS that are affected by the breakdown of the family and these have long-term AND dire effects. Poverty and homelessness is a HUGE draw back of this fact. Research has found that the family break up is cited as one of the critical causes of poverty. Within the school structure there are a number of social ills that plague the system and they range from ASSERTIVENESS, SELF ESTEEM, SEX, STRESS & CONFLICT. There seems to be NO peer listening schemes that are aimed to get the children involved in getting on better and improving their RELATIONSHIPS with one another. HOW CAN THIS BE FIXED? FIRST WE NEED TO GET TO THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM & FIX THE RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS DESTROYED FROM THE BEGINNING. The prison system will FOREVER be what it is because NO one cares AND there is no REAL rehabilitative method in place. Moreover, NO one seems to care. SO WHO IS THE BLAME FOR THIS? If only we could build a programme that links with the community AND foster the empowerment of the family RELATIONSHIP that is in the best interest of all. HOWEVER, I BELIEVE THAT RELATIONSHIP SKILLS CAN BE LEARNT & IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO FIX THINGS.
3. LET’S GET INTIMATE – When we first fall in love we spend as much time that our physicality allows. Time together is, to a RELATIONSHIP, what water is, to a plant. It's how a relationship is nurtured and cared for. It's the stuff that makes it stronger AND helps it to grow. It is FAIR to assume that life is about give AND take, so an intimate RELATIONSHIP should not be any different. HOWEVER IT IS! As children many of us did NOT learn this concept AND this presents the problem. I find that there are a lot of UNHEALTHY elements within REALATIONS that boarder on DISRESPECT, CONTROL & ABUSE. Though many of this created mostly out of physicality, the majority of it is emotional. The STRANGE thing about this is that most of us grew up around this kind of behavior and it can almost seem normal or not…& IT IS NOT! Qualities like kindness AND respect are absolute requirements for an intimate RELATIONSHIP. Think about this, HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT MOST INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS DO NOT LAST VERY LONG? Yes intimate RELATIONSHIPS can be one of the best AND most challenging part of our world it is this way because it is the MOST the important as it reflects how we are as adults.

SMOKING: STEPS TO HELP YOU BREAK THE HABIT

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i) Why does it seem so hard to stop smoking? Smoking causes changes in your body and in the way you act. The changes in your body are caused by an addiction to nicotine. The changes in the way you act developed over time as you bought cigarettes, lit them and smoked them. These changes have become your smoking habit. When you have a smoking habit, many things seem to go along with having a cigarette. These might include having a cup of coffee or an alcoholic drink, being stressed or worried, talking on the phone, driving, socializing with friends or wanting something to do with your hands.

ii) Immediate reasons to stop

• Bad breath and stained teeth
• Bad smell in clothes and hair and on skin
• Lower athletic ability
• Cough and sore throat
• Faster heartbeat and raised blood pressure
• Risk of second-hand smoke to people around you
• Cost of smoking

iii) Long-term reasons to stop

• Toxic chemicals in cigarette smoke
• Risk of lung cancer and many other types of cancer
• Risk of heart disease
• Serious breathing problems
• Time lost working or having fun because you're sick Wrinkles
• Risk of stomach ulcers and acid reflux
• Risk of gum disease
• Risk of damage to babies of pregnant women who smoke
• Setting a bad example for your children

iv) How can I stop smoking? You'll have the best chance of stopping if you do the following:

• Get ready.
• Get support and encouragement.
• Learn how to handle stress and the urge to smoke.
• Get medication and use it correctly.
• Be prepared for relapse.
• Keep trying.

v) How should I get ready to stop smoking? Set a stop date 2 to 4 weeks from now so you'll have time to get ready. Write down your personal reasons for stopping. Be specific. Keep your list with you so you can look at it when you feel the urge to smoke. To help you understand your smoking habit, keep a diary of when and why you smoke. Using information from this diary, you and your doctor can make a plan to deal with the things that make you want to smoke. Just before your stop date, get rid of all of your cigarettes, matches, lighters and ashtrays.

vi) How can I get support and encouragement? Tell your family and friends what kind of help you need. Their support will make it easier for you to stop smoking. Also, ask your family doctor to help you develop a plan for stopping smoking. Your doctor can also recommend a stop-smoking program. These programs are often held at local hospitals or health centers. Give yourself rewards for stopping smoking. For example, with the money you save by not smoking, buy yourself something special.

vii) What about stress and my urges to smoke? You may have a habit of using cigarettes to relax during stressful times. Luckily, there are good ways to manage stress without smoking. Relax by taking a hot bath, going for a walk, or breathing slowly and deeply. Think of changes in your daily routine that will help you resist the urge to smoke. For example, if you used to smoke when you drank coffee, drink hot tea instead.

viii) What will happen when I stop smoking? How you feel when you stop depends on how much you smoked, how addicted your body is to nicotine and how well you get ready to stop smoking. You may crave a cigarette or feel hungrier than usual. You may feel edgy and have trouble concentrating. You also may cough more at first, and you may have headaches. These things happen because your body is used to nicotine. They are called nicotine withdrawal symptoms. The symptoms are strongest during the first few days after you stop smoking, but most go away within a few weeks.

ix) What about nicotine replacement products or medicine to help me stop smoking? Nicotine replacement products are ways to take in nicotine without smoking. These products come in several forms: gum, patch, nasal spray, inhaler and lozenge. You can buy the nicotine gum, patch and lozenge without a prescription from your doctor. Nicotine replacement works by lessening your body’s craving for nicotine and reducing withdrawal symptoms. This lets you focus on the changes you need to make in your habits and environment. Once you feel more confident as a nonsmoker, dealing with your nicotine addiction is easier.

x) Prescription medicines such as bupropion SR (one brand name: Zyban) and varenicline (brand name: Chantix) helps some people stop smoking. These medicines do not contain nicotine, but help you resist your urges to smoke. Talk to your doctor about which of these products is likely to give you the best chance of success. For any of these products to work, you must carefully follow the directions on the package. It's very important that you don't smoke while using nicotine replacement products.

xi) Will I gain weight when I stop smoking? Most people gain a few pounds after they stop smoking. Remember that any weight gain is a minor health risk compared to the risks of smoking. Dieting while you're trying to stop smoking will cause unnecessary stress. Instead, limit your weight gain by having healthy, low-fat snacks on hand and being physically active.

xii) What if I smoke again? Don't feel like a failure. Think about why you smoked and what you can do to keep from smoking again. Set a new stop date. Many ex-smokers did not succeed at first, but they kept trying. The first few days after stopping will probably be the hardest. Just remember that even one puff on a cigarette can cause a relapse, so don't risk it.

U R GAYER THAN U THINK...

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¿SAY WHAT? Think of ten of the closest guy friends you know. Think hard. How many of them would you say is GAY? Throughout their lives almost four of these ten may have @ least one same-sex experience. WOULD YOU SAY THESE FOUR ARE HOMOSEXUAL? ARE THEY BISEXUAL? CAN THEY STILL BE HETEROSEXUAL? ARE THEY SOMETHING ELSE? In the 1950's Dr. Alfred Kinsey launched the first study of human sexuality in America. Collectively known as "the Kinsey reports," his work shocked the minds of many with its revelations regarding sexual practices. Many things people thought of as ABNORMAL or PERVERTED came to be seen as actually entirely normal.

¿HOW’D THEY DO THAT? Kinsey and his associates used personal interviews to gather data about sexual activity from individuals. By making use of an encrypted recording system, Kinsey was able to assure his interviewees the utmost confidentiality. As such, the results of his interviews are considered accurate. Acting on traditions long-held in the school of taxonomy, Kinsey shunned the idea of fixed, static categories of orientation and instead adopted a seven-point scale. The scale started with zero, representing exclusive heterosexuality, reached midpoint at three, representing bisexuality, and ended at six, representing exclusive homosexuality.

¿WHAT’D THEY FIND? Perhaps the most fascinating of his findings were his studies regarding sexual orientation. According to Kinsey, nearly 46% of the male population engaged in both hetero- and homosexual acts during their lives. Kinsey's findings also suggest that orientation can change over time. For example, though many cite Kinsey's data to argue that 10% of the population is gay, Kinsey in fact stated that during early post-puberty 10% of males were more homosexual than heterosexual.

¿SO NOW WHAT? So now we know two important things: almost half of the male population will engage in sexual acts involving both sexes; and sexuality can change over time. How do these simple facts (I would stress the word facts here) play in the current debate over homosexuality? First off, with regards to the debate over ethics the question seems already answered. Almost half of our male population will engage in a same-sex activity. How can such a common and normal activity be unethical? Ethics in our society has largely been a question of normality. In the 50's it was considered abnormal to be a Communist, as a result other abnormalities which were (and still are) considered unethical, like pedophilia, were lumped into the same category as Communism (Kinsey himself was tagged for investigation by the FBI and denounced as a Communist) n7 and n8. So, homosexual acts are perfectly normal.

YEAH, BUT…Yet, it is possible for something to be normal and unethical, right? For example, stealing might be considered normal, statistically speaking, yet is mostly considered unethical. How then, to approach the question of sexuality's normality? Kinsey's data reaches across many economic, demographic, and social strata. He interviewed prisoners, prostitutes, doctors, and lawyers alike. Even with the data of presupposed (and prejudged) abnormal people removed, the percentage of the male population engaging in at least one same-sex experience to orgasm remains at 37%. As such, the data of people regarded as "normal" members of society supports the 37% figure. Clearly then, since almost four tenths of normal (and thus approved) members of society engage in homosexual activities, the activities are normal, and thus are not unethical. Secondly, since sexuality can change over time, the right's "confused teen" argument is silly. Many who oppose homosexuality argue that many teenagers who express homo- or bisexual tendencies are merely "confused," likely a result of unstable homes and loose morals. Often cited are teens who once claimed a specific orientation and now are different. Guess what folks, that's normal and the entire debate is flawed. Kinsey found that only 4% of white males were exclusively homosexual from the time of their adolescence to their interview. That figure suggests exclusive homosexuality is, statistically, abnormal. As of now I am unable to find the figures for exclusive heterosexuality, but similar results may be expected. The majority of results fell within the bounds of zero and six, suggesting that sexuality is much more fluid than commonly believed. This data entirely dismantles any biological arguments conservatives or others may advocate for the unfavorable treatment of "gays." Yes, you're right; it takes a man and a woman to procreate. Guess what, sex is more than one night of fun and eighteen years of (potentially rewarding) hell.

SEXUAL BEHAVIOR IS SOMETHING COMMONLY MISUNDERSTOOD & FEARED. ALMOST UNIVERSALLY CONSIDERED TABOO, DISCUSSIONS ABOUT SEXUALITY ARE STRIKINGLY MISSING FROM OUR SCHOOLS, OUR CURCHES & FAMILIES. WHY IS SOMETHING SO NORMAL PERCEIVED AS ABNORMAL? WHY WON’T ANYONE SPEAK UP ON THE SUBJECT? IN THE END IT ALL COMES DOWN TO SHADES OF GRAY. SEXUALITY, JUST LIKE ALMOST ANYTHING ELSE, IS A MATTER OF DEGREES. THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG, BLACK OR WHITE, GAY OR STRAIGHT…THERE IS ONLY PEOPLE…

GOD'S LIGHT

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A man once told me that I am one of GOD’s LIGHT source and as a LIGHT source I have here to heal AND restore. As I pondered this notion I have come to realize that he was right…I FEEL THE ENERGY, A SYNERGY BETWEEN ME & ALL ENTITY and as a LIGHT source I feel that I am here accomplish something BIGGER than me. I remember when I used feel incomplete AND empty until I realized that there was NOTHING big required of me, I was MORE than enough. HOW COULD I NOT BE? 

As I live my life in this world, I share my energy AND spirit with those around me in numerous ways. My LIGHT touches their lives and, through them, touches the lives of many more people. I strive to live my live to the fullest and be TRUE to myself. I do NOT believe that I am here to make headlines OR single-handedly save the world in order to validate my existence…MY LIFE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH…I am just here to teach others to look within their hearts AND discover what is true for them, what gives their lives meaning and what excites them. 

JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS...

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Today was a LAZY day that turned out to be a GREAT day…After coming home from the gym I felt extremely tired, it was @ this time that I was reminded of the physical activities that I partake in a few minutes before heading to the gym. I felt especially calm AND easy coming off a CRAZY week @ work and looked forward to hanging out with my friends. This was NOT our typical MOVIE, STARBUCKS & DINNER day, this was a day where we just focused on the MORE important part of our socializing, that encompasses just coffee AND us. It ALWAYS surprises me how much I learn about my friends from the various topics that we discuss, I get to see the vulnerable side of them which is quite rare. I LOVE the range of emotions that they invoke within me, not that it is ALL about me…it is just nice that I get to connect with them in this way. I am ALWAYS grateful for the memories that we create, just think next year this time so things will different…LIFE WOUD HAVE MOVED & THINGS WILL CHANGE YET REMAIN THE SAME…NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, I KNOW THAT I WILL FOREVER BE GRATEFUL FOR A DAY LIKE TODAY…THANK YOU GUYS & I LOVE YOU!

FOREVER...

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I awoke from my slumber with you in mind,

Trying to find…

What,

Who,

And where you are

I didn’t find you in his eyes,

Nor were you between his thighs.

I think I felt you with his touch…

You are a traveler in the strange land of mind?

Stranger than strange

You creep into my soul

Like a lifetime of LOVE

Build into my dreams

Inside becomes the outside

Through the wonder of my mind

Caught in the middle of nowhere

In the beginning of the beginning

And in the middle of the middle

To the end of the end

And everything in between

No more lost in a dream

For you are beyond what it is

And what it seems

For in the darkness is born my light

Out of my darkness comes my sight

Blind visions…

Moral decisions

No more denials

I have renounced my shadows

They are what once was

Now banished by the light

That turns to my soul

And found that FOREVER,

Is LOVING him everyday…

© tgk

THE KALEIDOSCOPE OF GAY LIFE

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As much as we may say that we want peace and quiet and a life without struggle, the truth is that human beings are currently thriving in a world of dualities and challenges. And this is ESPECIALLY true for GAY men; NOT only do we have to wade through the waters of society, but we have to find our footing within the GAY community. Within the community, we tend to gravitate toward others that are most like us, @ least in the ways that make us feel comfortable. Though there is NOTHING wrong with this, I feel that it is important we are of ONE accord yet living our lives together DIFFERENTLY. 

Hence these DIFFERENCES come into play when LIFE brings us into contact with other GAY men that challenge us with their DIFFERENCES. It may be an obvious DIFFERENCE reflected in their outward appearance OR an invisible but powerful idealistic stance. Within the GAY community there are those that confront us with their DIFFERENT ways of experiencing and expressing life. Our NATURAL reaction is to resist, but I feel it is better if we choose to learn from them AND appreciate that they too have a place in the KALEIDOSCOPE of life. When we choose to approach these so-call hurdles with a POSITIVE attitude, this can determine how we sail over them. This is the ONLY way to ensure that we learn AND grow, developing depth of our character AND the shades of our understanding. In a world of dualities, we have trouble defining ourselves without something opposite thus we can’t discover who we are. 

AS SPIRITUAL BEINGS WE ARE EXPERIENCING THE PHYSICAL WORLD IN ALL OF ITS STARTLING CONTRAST & BEAUTY, WHY NOT START WITH DIFFERENCE THAT MAKES US WHO WE ARE? IT IS IMPORTANT FOR US TO WALK WITH AWARENESS WHEN DEALING WITH EACH OTHER. IT IS SAD THAT WE DO NOT TAKE THE TIME TO APPRECIATE EACH OTHER; WE JUST LIMIT OUR STEPS BY NOT EMBRACING THE COMMUNITY AS A WHOLE. AS WE WALK, WE CONNECT WITH THE EARTH & HER PEOPLE. EACH STEP WE TAKE WILL LEAD US TO BECOMING MORE MINDFUL OURSELVES. WHEN WE BECOME MORE MINDFUL, WE GRADUALLY INCREASE OUR AWARENESS OF OUR GAY BROTHERS THAT MAKE UP THE KALEIDOSCOPE OF LIFE…

THE PROCESS

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When I feel stuck in my life I find it important to take stock of what is going on and find out if there is something I am doing OR not doing that is keeping me stuck. Usually I find the answers that I seek AND most times it is NOT what I thought it would be. It amazes me how life CHANGES constantly AND how I have to adapt to the PROCESS. The thing that gets me is the place that I occupy during my transformation; YES it is time that I have to reflect on me, but this PROCESS I find can be very FRUSTRATING. I more times than others feel STUCK with a life that clings t old ideas about my reality WHILE I am trying to make adjustments that will bring my life back in tune so I can flow again. I listen with an open mind, and take in this part of my PROCESS…A NECESSARY STEP ON MY JOURNEY...

GROUNDING OURSELVES

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We often hear people telling us to ground ourselves, but we may not be sure what that means, and how we might do it. Grounding ourselves is a way of bringing ourselves literally back to earth. Some of us are more prone than others to essentially leaving our bodies to and not being firmly rooted in our bodies. There’s nothing terribly wrong with this, but while we are living on the earth plane, it is best to stay grounded in our body. One of the easiest ways to ground ourselves is to bring our attention to our breath as it enters and leaves our bodies. After about ten breaths, we will probably find that we feel much more connected to our physical selves. We might then bring our awareness to the sensations in our bodies, moving from our head down to our feet, exploring and inquiring. Just a few minutes of this can bring us home to bodies and to the earth, and this is what it means to ground ourselves. We can go further by imagining that we have roots growing out of the bottoms of our feet connecting us to the earth. The roots flow with us so we can we always move, but at the same time, they keep us grounded. We receive powerful energy from the earth, just as we do from the forms of energy we associate with the sky, and our body is a tool that brings these two energies together in a sacred union. When we are grounded, we essentially become a strong container in which our spirits can safely and productively dwell. This is why grounding ourselves everyday, especially at the beginning of the day, is such a beneficial practice. Fortunately, it’s as simple as bringing our conscious awareness to our bodies and the earth on which we walk.

HIV: ¿SHOULD IT BE REVEALED WHETHER PROTECTED OR NOT?

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As of the end of 2007, an estimated 33.2 million people around the world were living with HIV/AIDS, including the 2.5 million people who acquired HIV in 2007. The epidemic claimed an estimated 2.1 million lives in 2007. Now with these startling numbers one would think that there would more efforts placed on PREVENTION rather than the FACILITATION of this disease. However, we all know what the scenario is when it comes to HIV; this monster seems to show NO signs of slowing down and I feel that this is the case simply because we are NOT asking ourselves certain questions. I would like each one of us to ask ourselves this question, SHOULD HIV STATUS BE REVEALED WHETHER ONE IS USING PROTECTION OR NOT? Now when I did a poll of this question the response was as follows: YES 72% NO 9% MAYBE 19%. As proud, as I am of the fact that more of you think that it should be asked; it still frightens me to know that more of you are NOT sure OR think that it should NOT be asked. The first thing that enters my mind is WHEN IS UNPROTECTED SEXUAL INTERCOURSE ACCEPTABLE? Many of us would like to say that we did NOT intend on going @ it without a condom it just HAPPEN. Now being the man that I am I know for a FACT sex just do not HAPPEN! Living in a world where the majority of GAY males that I know are becoming infected with the HIV virus does NOT sit well with me and for the life of me I do NOT understand how we leave our lives to chance by NOT having protected sex @ all times. I saw a powerful ad the other day where there was a guy with two hands extended in one palm was a condom, the other palm was about thirty pills, and the caption read something to the effect that the choice was one or the other. A lifetime of thirty pills a day or using a condom. If we are SO hell bent on having sex by chance, we have to face the fact that this is what OUR lives will come to. It pains me that the subject of HIV is still a difficult topic to deal with. Nonetheless, if we want our lives to be easier we cannot bury our collective heads in the sand and pretend that it is NOT in our midst. Just the other day I was having a chat with someone that is HIV POSITIVE and he told me that he reveals his status before engaging in sex with others. Now I find this commendable, however I knew that he was lying because of certain things that got back to me. I wanted to call him out on his lies but I could not because I did not want to implicate my sources. Being the MAN that I am, I know that I will NOT be able to keep quiet with such information; I have to put right where right is and allow the chips to fall where they may. This is a CLEAR example of how ADULT men lay down with other adult men and DO NOT think of consequences, yet they get angry when they get burned. I WONDER WHAT HE WOULD SAY TO ANOTHER THAT GOT INFECTED BECAUSE HE IS HIV +? I KNOW THAT ASKING ABOUT ONE HIV STATUS CANNOT STOP THE DIESEASE, BUT I BELIEVE KNOWLEDGE IS POWER & THIS POWER NEEDS TO BE PUT IN THE RIGHT PLACE. I get that most will NOT reveal the truth, however I am of the opinion that the guilt that comes after a cums is stronger than any denial a HIV + man can live with. The GROWING practice of using SEX as a tool to get intimacy in this ERA of what is FACELESS sex needs to be STOPPED! THIS F&CK FIRST & ASK QUESTIONS LATER or NOT @ ALL IS CRAZY, HOW CAN WE KEEP HURTING OURSELVES IN THIS WAY? IT IS SAD TO REALIZE THAT WE HAVE FOOLED OURSELVES TO BELIEVE THAT JUST BECAUSE HIV TREATMENT CAN PROLONG THE LIFE OF AN HIV PERSON THAT WE F&CK AS CARELESS AS WE DO. I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY GAY MEN WOULD PUT THEIR LIVES @ RISK TWENTY ODD YEARS INTO THE AIDS PANDEMIC. THE LINE OF GAY MEN WAITING THEIR TURN TO GET THIS DISEASE IS ASTOUNDING THIS CLUB OF MEN THAT CANNOT BRING THEMSELVES TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES SEXUALLY IS MAD. IT WOULD BE NICE TO ASK ANOTHER MAN HIS STATUS BEFORE WE SPREAD EAGLE & HAVE SEX. I GUESS IT DOES NOT MATTER BECAUSE THE CONSENSUS IS THAT IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE WE ALL GET HIV~AIDS ANYWAYS… SHOULD HIV STATUS BE REVEALED WHETHER ONE IS USING PROTECTION OR NOT?

HEALING WHAT HURTS

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Many of us go through our lives being aware of a well of pain that has been under our daily awareness for so long we aren’t even sure where it comes from. It almost seems as if it’s part of who we are, or the way we see the world, but it’s important to realize that this pain is something that needs to be acknowledged and processed. The longer we sit on it, the harder it is to work through, and the more likely it is that we will be forced to acknowledge it as it makes itself known to us in ways we can’t predict. Rather than waiting for this to happen, we can empower ourselves by identifying the pain and resolving to take action toward healing it. The very thought of this brings up feelings of resistance in most of us, especially if, on the surface, our lives seem to be in order. It’s difficult to dig up the past and go into it unless we are being seriously inconvenienced by the hurt. The thing is, when we are carrying the burden of our unprocessed pain, sooner or later it will inconvenience us. If we can be brave and proactive, we can save ourselves a lot of future suffering and free up the energy that is tied up in keeping the pain down. There are many ways to do this, but the first step is to recognize the pain and honor it by moving our awareness into it. In this process, even if it’s just five minutes during meditation, we will begin to have a sense of what the pain is made of. It might be fear of abandonment, childhood abuse, anger at being mistreated, or some other long held wound. As we sit with the pain, we will also have a sense of whether we can deal with it by ourselves or not. It may be time to work with a counselor or form a healing circle with close friends. Whatever path you choose, resolve to go deep into the pain so that you can release it fully, and set yourself free. Remember, it is never too late in life to heal what hurts, and there is never a better time than now.

TAKING TIME...

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Today I decided to take a break from my usual Saturday events with my friends and spend some time with my sister and her two daughters. Of course, it was a blast for them to say the least; it amazes me how it takes so little effort to make children feel like children. I am ALWAYS blessed AND honored when I get a chance to make memories with them AND add to their childhood. I sometimes forget that they are much older than they appear; I guess that is the way the world is going…THEY GET OLDER & I GET…It was such a joy to TAKE TIME and watch life happens right in front of my eyes. It is so amazing to think that one day, not too far from here in a blink of an eye they will all grown up and would have added to their life in this special way. I LOVE this because this gives me the opportunity to fall in LOVE again with life. With my nieces, I get to breathe in the rich AND wondrous possibilities that life has to offer. Today is a day like no other and I am magnificently blessed to be a part of all that it encompasses. NOT even the rain dampens the fun my nieces had on this day. I wish that I could TAKE TIME plus infinity to be with them, they reminded me that LIFE is filled with CHANGE, CONFUSION, EXCITEMENT, JOY & FRUSTRATION…BUT UNDERLYING ALL OF THAT THEY SHOWED ME THAT BY SIMPLY TAKING TIME I FOUND THE PEACE & GOODNESS THAT LIFE COULD NEVER DENY ME.

HAPPY EARTH~DAY DERRINIQUE

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Trying to get in step Little girl trying to get in step

Skipping steps to be in step

With her bigger little sisters

Better, be in step

Than beyond steps

Out of control

Living her life in a volcano’s hole

Like a dog in heat

That knows NO better

Or worst…

Feeling comfort in the fire

For she got some breeze

Or so she feels

While her soul burns

As she yearns to be,

What she is NOT!

Talk about lost identity

But I believe that somewhere

Somehow

In the here and now

She will see her non-identity

That is thrust into obscurity

And all this obscenity

Will be mixed with her insanity

A place that exist beyond here

That shows inside her fears

I am NO soothsayer

Who is to know what is going to happen tomorrow?

And what sorrow is that holds her in its grip

That keeps her from soaring

What I do know

Is that she forgot herself

Getting ahead of herself

Trying to forget that she forgot herself

No longer a precious commodity

As she lays herself down

To receive HE that brings elicit desires

If only she lived in a world

Where nothing went wrong

A world of dreams where nothing is what it seems

But this is only but my dream

For she is a step ahead of where she should be…

© tgk

GIVE IT AWAY...

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The other day I noticed that a lot of GAY men are simply giving themselves away to basically any MAN that would ACCEPT them. I thought this was particularly interesting because I was on BLKGAYCHAT and my profile had that I have someone, yet still I got messages asking me to hook up. For me this is NOT particularly surprising, what surprises me is the FACT that GAY men do NOT have any regard for who they are AND what they truly represent. It is evident that we are NOT learning to trust OUR intuition in order to connect with OUR higher selves. It seems that OUR need for SEX gets in the way AND it completely clouds OUR judgment; how is possible that WE are NO more than OUR dicks N’ asses? I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS TAUGHT THAT USING OUR BODIES BROUGHT US MORE IN TUNE WITH OUR BEING…Now it seems that GAY men are using it just for the mere joy of a NUT. I feel that process of using OUR bodies is to ask OUR higher selves a question and wait for the body to respond; the answer should either be a forward-tilting or backward-tilting motion. I WONDER WHAT ANSWER GAY MEN GET WHEN THEY TREAT THEIR BODIES IN THE WAY THEY DO? WE NEED TO STOP GIVING AWAY OURSELVES FOR MOMENTS OF PLEASURE & UNDERSTAND OUR HIGHER SELVES! I often wonder if most of US come to a point in our lives when WE question why WE are doing what WE are doing? I feel that this question can bring to the surface the REALIZATION that WE are failing ourselves as MEN. HOW DO WE NOT FEEL SHOCK or DEPRESS BY WHAT WE ARE DOING TO OURSELVES? I SAY THAT ONE OF THE MOST COMMON REASONS WE ARE SO TIED TO THIS BEHAVIOR IS THAT WE WERE NOT PROPERLY MIRRORED WHEN WE WERE LITTLE BOYS. WE WERE NOT HONORED AS INDIVIDUALS IN OUR OWN RIGHT, THAT HAS A WILL & A PURPOSE ALL OUR OWN. AS A RESULT, WE LEARNED TO LOOK OUTSIDE OF OURSELVES FOR APPROVAL IN THE FORM OF SEX RATHER THAN LOOK WITHIN. THE GOOD THING IS THAT THE PART OF US THAT WAS NOT ADEQUATELY NURTURED IS STILL THERE, INSIDE US, LIKE A SEED THAT HAS NOT YET RECEIVED THE SUNLIGHT & MOISTURE IT NEEDS TO GROW. I WRITE THIS BECAUSE I FEEL THAT IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO PROVIDE OURSELVES WITH WHAT WE NEED TO AWAKEN OUR INNER BEING. IF WE NEED REAL SUPPORT GROUPS, THERAPY or JOURNALIZING OUR THOUGHTS…WHATEVER PROCESS WE CHOOSE, WE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO LIVE OUTSIDE OF OUR SEXUALITY AS GAY MEN!