A MESSAGE 4 THE HOPEFUL(ESS)

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If Not For You

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by James Kisner

Early in the morning . . . as I lie awake in bed,

Thoughts of you run rampant . . . with the last words you said.

You always know the things to say . . . and know just what to do.

I guess that is one reason . . . why I feel such love for you.

My life has not been easy . . . with the problems that I've had,

It seems that situations for me . . . always turn out bad.

The little joy I seem to find . . . is always temporary,

And life comes crashing down again . . . with burdens that I carry.

It seems that others go through life . . . so happy and alive,

While it's a constant struggle for me . . . only to survive.

I see the happy faces . . . as I walk along the street,

My life just seems so empty . . . while all others look complete.

If not for you to cheer me up . . . I'd live in gloom and doom,

And probably sit alone and scared. . . inside some darkened room.

But when I sit and contemplate . . . and feel such emptiness,

I wonder if some other people . . . go through life like this.

It seems like all the others . . . have someone to call their own,

And I sometimes feel like I am . . . the only one alone.

But every time I reach a point . . . of sinking to such depth,

You come to me and touch me with . . . a little happiness.

The words you say to pick me up . . . and make me understand,

Gives me hope to carry on . . . and try to find life's plan.

Whenever life seems hopeless . . . and it's more than I can bear,

You always know the words to say . . . and you are always there.

I sometimes feel so guilty . . . when you say things will be fine,

It seems you draw on positives . . . while all I do is whine.

It seems I'm weak and negative . . . and everything is wrong,

While in your constant struggle also . . . you are always strong.

I know that I complain a lot . . . and live in deep despair,

And even in my pain and sorrow . . . you are always there.

I envy you, your strength and wisdom . . . while I seem so weak,

You remain steadfast and strong . . . and don't accept defeat.

I know that life is full of problems . . . others have them too,

And in their pain and sorrow . . . I just wonder what they do.

Does everybody go through this . . . or do I make it worse,

Magnifying pain and sorrow . . . or is it a curse

I only know that life goes on . . . regardless of the pain,

And every day it is a struggle . . . even to stay sane.

I will deal the best I can . . . with things that come along,

And hopefully, one day, I too . . . will feel like I am strong.

But as for now and days to come . . . I must take day by day,

And cling on to the precious words . . . that I know you will say.

I love you for your honesty . . . and all you say and do,

I do not know how I would cope with life . . . if not for YOU.