¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Tuesday, 05 June 2012


I got this e-mail the other day, but instead of asking the usual sex-
questions the young man wanted advice on coming out. Having experienced a basically normal coming out process, these letters usually feel pretty straightforward to me, but this one was different. It made me wonder...
When it comes to protecting your own well-being, is it sometimes better to stay safely in the closet?
Here’s the e-mail:
I am a closeted homosexual, and I really need help. My parents really don’t like gays or anything associated with LGBT themes. My dad can’t even look at the color pink. They have gone so far as to say they would kill us (their children) if we ended up that way, and I’ve been this way for a long time. My dad really loves me, but in reality he abhors me. My mom is a little more compassionate about this, but still she hates it. I’ve never told anyone [I'm gay], and my issue is really causing me a lot of mental stress. How can I change their minds in order to happily bust down my closet door?


  1. If the person is a minor or still dependent on parental financial support, find someone trusted to confide and to seek support. Nothing good will happen if they come out now. If the person is an independent adult, discuss this with an older sibling (if possible) and then decide.

    1. Good advice, will find out and revert, thanks.

  2. I don't think it is a matter of if, but when. I truly do not believe even parental relationships are worth maintaining at the cost of lying about who you are. But the when it is safe: when you can support yourself, are an adult, and mentally able to handle the fall out from family. The how, under physical threat, I would say from afar, or with support in case things get violent.

  3. Yeah, I agree with Roger and Jamie. Do it when you're not dependent on them anymore (financial, housing, food, etc). Otherwise that could make it really rough (speaking from experience).

    And definitely be mentally prepared.

    On the other hand, some families can totally flip and accept their kid's sexuality. One never knows, I suppose.

    1. Isn't it amazing how hard it is be yourself in this world?




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