¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Wednesday, 06 June 2012


Here are some basic things to understand about cheating and monogamy:
•What is considered "cheating" depends on the rules of the relationship
•Monogamy is something people usually say they want, but different people define it in different ways
•Cheating is not limited to gay men

So why do people cheat? You sometimes hear men use the excuse that they were drunk and not thinking straight, but that's just an excuse. According to psychologist Dr. Weston Edwards there are reasons behind the behavior, and a recent journal article identified four groups of reasons of why people have sex. Here's how he breaks it down:

Physical reasons
The guy is looking for some type of physical payoff that he is not finding in his current relationship. This can include simply getting off, but it can also be about seeking different experiences. Another theme is that new person is physically desirable. Finally, there are physical payoffs such as stress reduction or boredom.

Goal attainment
In some cases, people have sex to obtain a goal. Sexual behavior is a means to an end. This might be around survival sex; "I need a place to live," for example. It can include the "badge of honor" when a person can brag, "I had sex with that hot guy." In some cases, it is about getting revenge. Finally, it can be about getting resources such as money or drugs.

Emotional reasons
For many people, sexual behavior is about love and commitment. It is the expression of intimacy shared between two individuals. In our society, monogamy emphasizes this reason for having sex. So then, the lack of a satisfying emotional relationship may lead to sexual contact outside the primary relationship. To be fair, in some cases, having an emotional connection isn't limited to monogamous sexual relationships, and you will find plenty of men in so-called open relationships who do have emotional connection and satisfaction.

Insecurity reasons
The final cluster of reasons people have sex is around insecurity/self-esteem.
"I feel so insecure, I will have sex with anyone."
"This hot guy wants me."
"I couldn't say no."
Those are the motivations, and when the right trigger presents itself (being drunk, feeling neglected, or being angry with your spouse) we act on it. Indeed, chances are good that you have been the cheater as well. It may or may not have been while you were in a serious relationship, but it could have been with a new guy who was aiming toward a more serious relationship when you dabbled on the side. Maybe you've been the man who was fine hooking up with someone in a relationship, ignoring that your actions were in some way impacting the unseen partner in your affair.
So rather than asking why gay men cheat, the real question is this: Why do you cheat?


  1. Dishonesty with themselves and their partners about what they want in a relationship. I don't like cheaters or liars. Two people on a relationship need to communicate their wants and needs out of a partnership. Needs change, but stepping out on the side without your partner knowing... It happens, but I think it is the betrayal of trust that is a bigger issue than sex.

    1. I saw a question on a facebook group that asked: what is the 1 thing you won't compromise on in a relationship and honest is the first thing that came to my mind and I am happy to see you mention that from the start.

  2. Excellent thoughts, my friend! I'm glad that you pointed out the fact that it's not just gay men who cheat. According to many of our critics, that's all we do!

    1. The cheating subject has SO many layers that it might never be solved.

  3. Well to be honest with you I will answer that question. I don't cheat and I have to say this because of all the venereal diseases out here so I wish to limit any access to that. Now, let me add, its been very hard to keep this pussy out of the hands of other men. Yes, men taunt me all the time trying to get it....AND ONE DAY IM GONNA GET CURIOUS AND IT MAY BECOME AN ADDICTION THAT I CANT STOP. Ok, that's what Im afraid of, but Gayte...I need lots of sex. WILL BE MY REASONINGS FOR CHEATING...if I do!!

    1. Men taunting you huh? :-) I get you.

      I TOTALLY get the need for sex all the time, I feel like that 99.99% of the time ;-)




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