¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

¿TRUST, CAN THERE EVER BE TOO MUCH?


So the other night I was having a chat on YIM with a guy that led me to write about this subject. Now before I start please let me say that I DON’T BELIEVE THERE IS SOMETHING AS TOO MUCH TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP! So back to what led me here…you see this guy and I chat often here and there, but he knows very little about me and he just found out about Noel. Of course he seemed shocked that I have a partner because I brought it up… (side note: if you don’t ask me anything in particular you won’t get to know things about me) crazy I know but it is how I go about things…Anyways he invited me over to his place to meet him and of course I asked him what were his intentions? He said that I was cool and that he wanted to meet me…Fine I thought no harm…no foul. So we made arrangements to meet this coming Friday (which I am going to ditch BTW) because Sunday past wasn’t working for me @ all and I don’t really like to socialize with persons that aren’t friends of mine through the week just like that. So of course he then asked, “what are you doing tonight?” I was like not a thing but resting God’s body. He then suggested that we meet up for a drink, I turned him because I don’t drink alcohol and furthermore it was like almost midnight. So he then asked me, “what would I leave my home for @ this hour?” I was like it wouldn’t be for you OR anyone else for that matter because I am NOT interested in anyone else. So he went back to our meeting this Friday and suggested that I bring Noel along…I was like well he wouldn’t here until the next day as he has been off the island for about 3 LONG ASS MONTHS! Ya think that gave him an opening? So I told Noel about his invite he was like okay whatever and just brushed it off like it was nothing. I was like it doesn’t bother you that I am going to meet some man? His response was, “nope I trust you,” and he should because I would NEVER do anything to hurt our union. But I did wonder if he trusts me TOO much? I mean I know that I trust him a hell of a lot but still the thought did cross my mind. And I thought about the trust we have for each other and I realized how bless I am to be with him because I get to live out the things I’ve always wanted with a man…



So back to the guy that led me to write this blog entry…before I say anything about him, I feel that I MUST admit that I understand what he was trying to do AND I feel sorry for him, but I wish he and others would believe me when I say, I HAVE A PARTNER! A PARTNERSHIP BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE IS SCARED & SPECIAL…It isn’t like saying I have a boyfriend OR just a relationship…I HAVE PARTNERSHIP TAKES THINGS TO ANOTHER LEVEL…So how most gay men end like this anyways? How do they get to a point where they feel that your relationship doesn’t mean a thing and that all men will cheat anyways? When I sat back and thought about it, I realize that is all about SEX! Why is sex still all the rage nowadays? Everybody wants to be having it and they want it with whomever…wherever…While sexual bliss is all good and well, how does getting it with me make it SO exciting when I come with a relationship? My getting with anyone would mean that I am unfaithful, just about sex AND I can’t be trusted…I know those things pale in comparison with a man that is looking to get the change knock out of his purse but I couldn’t even if I wanted because my dick N’ ass belongs to Noel…I know how powerful and great sex can be, but it is even better when you have the kind of connection that Noel and I have. And no matter how many come my way, there is NOTHING I would do to take that away from me…NOTHING! 

I KNOW THAT THERE IS POWER IN NOEL TRUSTING ME & I HIM BECAUSE IT MAKES LOVE ALL THAT WE KNOW IT IS…I GET THAT TRUST CAN EASILY BE BROKEN & KEEPING THEM OFTEN PROVES MORE DIFFICULT BECAUSE WE FEEL THAT WE HAVE TO BE PERFECT WHEN WE DON’T. LOVE ISN’T ABOUT BEING PERFECT…IT JUST IS…& NO MAN SHOULD TRY TO LIVE UP TO SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T COMES NATURAL TO HIM WHEN HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER…IN MY RELATIONSHIP I TRUST MY SOUL WITH NOEL BECAUSE OUR LOVE COMPELS ME TO DO SO…(WHY ARE THERE TEARS IN MY EYES AS I WROTE THAT LINE?) I KNOW THAT IN ORDER FOR US TO BE COMPLETE, WE HAVE TO BE OPEN N’ HONEST WITH EACH OTHER…& THAT COMES FROM US HAVING TOO MUCH TRUST IN OUR RELATIONSHIP & EACH OTHER…WHICH PROVIDES US WITH AN ENVIRONMENT OF EMOTIONAL SAFETY, THAT CAN ONLY NURTURE A GREATER CLOSENESS THAT WILL GIVE US MANY HAPPY YEARS WITH EACH OTHER… 

20 comments:

  1. Amen! I'm enjoying my relationship a lot more since I'm a reformed jealous bitch... LOL

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  2. Amen. I don't think it's possible to have too much trust in a relationship. Though there is a fine line between trust and stupidity that a lot of people seem to cross. I'm not referring to you in that sense though. It sounds like you two have your heads in the right place, and that the trust is only the creative byproduct branched out from your love for each other. Trust is essential in a healthy relationship, so it is so incredible that you two have so much for each other. It shows that you two should be together for a very long time.

    -Speaking of which how long have you two been together?-

    Oh, and I love the resting God's body bit...i'll have to remember that. lol

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  3. EDUARDO - WHEN YOU ARE OVERLY JEALOUS YOU FORCE YOURSELF OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP SO I AM GLAD TO HEAR THAT YOU HAVE REFORMED...

    MIKEL - WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER A YEAR AND & NINE MONTHS...

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  4. Preach brother.....I was nodding my head up and down because it was so true.....If your too jealous it won't work....Trust and communication is keys that need no duplication....:)

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  5. Relationships are valued (or devalued) by the folks who are in them. My man is respected because I insist upon it and vice versa. We can't shrug off remarks and innuendo that are disrespectful to our relationships - including overt inappropriate flirtation. Your partner is a saint. I trust my man but suspect he knows better than to entertain offers for drinks from interested parties - even less likely to ask me what I think of it. I guess that's what makes each partnership unique and special.

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  6. I believe that trust in a relationship should be earned, not extended as a courtesy at the beginning assuming that your partner is innocent until proven guilty. Lack of trust is the number one problem that has been the downfall in my past relationships and the relationships of many others. I have learned through my past trials that trust is something that I will be able to give and that someone will give me when that right someone comes into my life. I find it very touching that you teared up while writing your post because of the conviction you felt expressing your feelings. You and Noel's relationship is an example to others that there is hope for a successful union between two people.

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  7. Sex has always been the rage. I'm not expecting that to change any time soon. But staying in a committed relationship requires much effort. Too many of us are solely interested in our own carnal pleasures to live up to the trust that others place in us.

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  8. OH MY GOD YOU BITCH..those are some seriously beautiful words!!! trust is trust and in any relationship, if you live by trust you have nothing to worry about. I have yet to find out what that is like and frankly I am afraid of the various things you mentioned that comes with a partner you trust and love...

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  9. I liked it when you said: ' why is sex still all the rage..?' LOL. It makes you sound so old :) But seriously, I ask myself that question often. And I thought only the boring types like myself would ask such a thing.

    But you know Kish, you amaze me. I mean after all, you are the gayte-keeper. Can you hear what I'm trying to say?

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  10. REGGIE – YOU SO GAT IT!!!

    COCOA – I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING AND I HAVE NO INTENTION OF MEETING THIS GUY FOR A DRINK OR WHATEVER…EVEN THOUGHT THINGS WOULD BE STRICTLY ABOVE BOARD FOR ME, I FEEL THAT IF I WERE SIT IN HIS PRESENCE I WOULD HAVE DISRESPECT MY RELATIONSHIP…

    MIKE – ARE YOU NOT ON POINT WHEN YOU COMMENT ON MY BLOG?  I LOVE WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH NOEL & IT DOES MY SOUL GOOD THAT I CAN SHARE HOW WE FEEL ABOUT EACH OTHER WITH YOU GUYS…

    FIYU – I DON’T EXPECT THAT TO CHANGE EITHER SO I AM WITH YOU ON THAT ONE…HOWEVER, I DON’T THINK RELATIONSHIPS REQUIRE MUCH EFFORT…I THINK THAT ONCE YOU LET LOVE GUIDE YOU IT WILL COME NATURALLY TO YOU…OF COURSE THERE ARE TIMES WHEN THINGS AREN’T FINE, BUT THAT’S ALL APART OF IT…

    MARDI – WHO TOLD YOU MY NAME? L(O)L!!!I KNOW IT SEEMS SCARY & IF IT IS THEN YOU ARE NOT WITH THE PERSON THAT CAN TAKE YOU TO THAT PLACE…

    MISS SHALLOTTE – I HAVE AN OLD SOUL…BUT YOU KNOW THAT…RIGHT? I HEAR YOU LOUD & CLEAR…

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  11. It's inspiring to read about you and Noel because i have very few friends who are in committed relationships, most people just don't believe in it. I've had to let go quite a number of friends because they simply couldn't bring themselves around to respecting my relationship and kept on trying to get at me. I think its about time we got sex off that pedestal and placed a higher premium on love and relationships.

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  12. OTTI - I WISHED WE LIVED NEAR EACH OTHER...I LOVE THE THOUGHT OF NOEL AND I HANGING OUT WITH OTHER COUPLES...

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  13. I think trust in any relationship is a two way street. You expect the other person to trust your motives as well. I find that persons will have other 'bad' motives but sometimes we cannot see beyond what they want to do. As individuals we need to look beyond someone trying to get to know us and be wise. They will forever push their way in.

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  14. CORVEDACOSTA - YOU ARE SO RIGHT...

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  15. There is never to much trust in a dedicated relationship, if you honestly love the person trust becomes second nature. If two people truly love each other jealousy never enters that relationship because the bond is in place. When you love someone you trust with all your heart.

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  16. lol the kids are gonna try you know that....the fact that ur unattainable to them makes them want you even more....and its just sad and pitiful on their parts.

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  17. CHET - YOU ALWAYS COME WITH SUCH SAGE WORDS...

    MISS SHALLOTTE - UH-HUH...

    TRU3LOGIC - IT IS & I FEEL SORRY FOR THEM...

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  18. well I cant speak on that issue...I have trust issues cos I believe ALL men cheat. Well so far so good with Anthony!!

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