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For generations, men have been told that a "real man" is the strong, yet silent type who
keeps all of their emotions in check. A "real
man" doesn't cry, need
therapy or ask for help and above ALL else a "real man" keeps his women in check.
Well this thought came to the other day as I was sitting in my
barber’s chair having a conversation. I asked him how are things with him and
his now pregnant girlfriend, he said okay with a smile [a devilish smile]. He then told me that he came home
after 1am the other night and met her packing up her stuff because she said he
isn’t treating her right [you know the song n’ dance].
He then told her that he is "man" and need not explain to her where he was and what he was doing. He even further told her that if she left, don’t come back. When he woke up he saw her sleeping on the couch with the bags next to her and have an even BIGGER smile on his face when he said this part of the story.
He then told her that he is "man" and need not explain to her where he was and what he was doing. He even further told her that if she left, don’t come back. When he woke up he saw her sleeping on the couch with the bags next to her and have an even BIGGER smile on his face when he said this part of the story.
I then said to him,
‘why not let her go, find someone that will LOVE her the way she needs and wants.’ He
was silent and that smile left his face and I couldn't tell if it was because a man was saying this to him or if he
actually did this, his manhood would be no more. Isn't it something how just the mere pondering of such a thing shows how
the hyper masculine approach has SERIOUS repercussions on how we build communities and foster
love for each other, ESPECIALLY when it comes to men dealing with
their feelings about relationships with women.
Well, the world doesn't react positively to women talking about the way men treat them. It’s the elephant in the room
and MANY [especially women] of us ignore this behavior and often reward the men
for simple being "men". Even as I write this entry I know
it doesn't make sense talking to him about his actions because he was taught that steel sharpens steel, that he supposed
to shut her down, “man up” and “keep it moving.”
It saddens me that he woke to her still there. Sounds like my father. Remarkable how "real" men need such ego stroking. Real men have real relationships, with give and take and answer for their actions, both good and bad. A man-child thinks his partner should treat him like a demi-god. I feel sad for what traits his child will learn at his knee.
ReplyDeleteI don't get how women just let me treat them this way.
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