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How did SO many of the men on this planet become SO impressed with the pseudo manhood of acting as if they know what it takes to be a man when they have NO idea how it is done? I ask this question because MANY have said to me both gay and straight that I am gay because a female (my mother) doesn’t have it in her to teach me how to be a man. Granted she may not be swinging a dick, but the woman that raised me has more balls N’ courage than most men I know.
I’ve heard over and over how a boy needs a man to teach him how to be a man and a girl needs vice versa. I grew up in single parent home and the fact that I am gay has brought MANY to say, ‘what can my family expect from me? After all there were NO men in the home to rear me.’ Now I grew up in a household with my sister, aunt and TWO uncles (meaning men) and I still am who I am…I did all sort of ‘’boyish’’ things with my uncle, yet still I am who I am…Moreover, I have friends and family who are homosexually inclined, who were raised in homes with both a mother AND a father yet they are just like me who was raised by a female that couldn’t teach me how to be a man. I suppose we all assume things about situations that we NO idea how they came to be.
I know that when you look around today, you barely see men setting ‘manly’ examples for the ones that come behind them. Why should gay men yearn to be like straight men? Moreover, why should young boys yearn to be like them? All the hyper-masculinity, misogyny, sexism AND violence that dominate our place on this planet is just degrading who we are as human beings. I feel that a boy becomes a man through introspection and NOT by another male teaching him how to become himself. But to bring change we have to examine and understand that the world’s mind has been controlled by men who put themselves in the position to be in control (i.e. politicians and ‘religious salesmen’).
Nonetheless I smile because to ‘know’ from experience and positive wisdom is quite different than ‘intellect babbling’. Better to spend time examining the inner and seeing the results of manifestation than spending life wondering when we as a society are going to understand that responsibility MUST be taken before blame can be cast? From where I am sitting, I’d rather a world filled with soft boys than a world with hard broken men…
I knew I liked girls froma very very young age. Both my parents were together, my mum was very womanly my dad was very manly. and I liked barbie dolls and pink and glitter...in fact I still do...being bi has nothing to do with how I was raised...i just like girls dammit!
ReplyDeletegreat post
In the course of my work I often hear students say " I'm gay or lesiban because my mother or father was absent in the home." On the contrary, yes in part of becoming a man and forming into a man is part learned behavior, but to honestly become a man it must be in your heart and it has no bearing on how you were raised unless of course the parent groomed the boy into a girl from birth, and yes this happens.
ReplyDeleteMany of the young men today are laboring or haboring on a misapprehension that a man is based on his masculine outer appearance and attitude. It takes soul, heart, mind and character to be a man.
To answer your question it is very challenging to fix a broken man.
DOPE FIEND - I HAD NO IDEA!
ReplyDeleteCHET - I KNOW OF THE CHALLENGE ALL TOO WELL...
ReplyDeleteAs the female parent of a male child I say thanks for this, dude. Every drop of inner sight and wisdom helps stem the tide of broken man acting out broken dangerous masculinity syndrome. So many men on the wrong path. It's good to see you're spreading the "gospel" as you know it and feel it. Big hugs.
ReplyDeleteDARK DAUGHTA - I CAN FEEL THE ENERGY FROM THAT HUG...THANKS!
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