Tweet
Can you tell me how a person can go from saying to me that Noel and I are such an awesome couple to asking if we ever cheated on each other and being all surprised when they hear that the answer is no? Moreover, how does one respond with a mixture of stunned disgust after complimenting our relationship? I suppose Noel and I aren’t possible because gay men aren’t meant to be monogamous…
I LOVE when folks come @ our relationship with ABSOLUTES! I can't speak for the entire gay community (and I don’t care to try), but why do folks like to project themselves on each other when we are TOTALLY different? I know their arguments could be that there is a progression occurring within the gay community and though most people can’t see it, we gay men have EVOLVED sexually. But while that is a reasonable point, what I have with Noel CANNOT be compared to what anyone else has going on out there and I think it is CRAZY for persons to try and put us in the same box as other gay couples that cheat. I get that the MAJORITY of us hang all our romantic hopes on this finding the ‘one’, but if you don’t realize you are the one then…
I think that I am one THE MOST liberal guys you’ll ever meet, and I’ll be the first to defend anyone’s right to have whatever type of relationship works for them. My motto is: “If you can make it work and be happy, then go for it. It’s just not right for us.” That said, I know from my own experience and through friends that ‘whatever’, is responsible for THE slippery slope that causes confusion for us. One minute you’re living in bliss Ville and the next you are ‘whatever’…And I FIRMLY believe that the hyper-sexual world we live in will cause us MORE harm than good. And I know that that for better OR for worse, we live in a world that can produce almost our every whim from the options we choose. How about considering a guy that LOVES you for you, doesn't want just sex, and who will be able to talk to you besides asking the usual questions like: HOW BIG IS IT? ARE YOU A TOP/BOTTOM? WHAT FANTASIES DO YOU HAVE? CAN I SEE YOU NAKED ON CAM ? AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE YOU CAN JOIN THE MONOGA~MANIACS CLUB WITH NOEL & I.
If I could raise some phantom gospel up to sing Amen for me, I would. I definitely feel your frustration. I almost feel like it's just some sort of obligation I have when we meet new people to describe our sex life. Bottom line: none of your f**king business. There's a reason it's done behind closed doors. If I want to talk about it, then I will, but if not, don't ask...that's just rude. But it seems people forget in a world where our personal lives are broadcasted to the universe, we still need some sort of personal privacy.
ReplyDeleteI think you and Noel are an amazing couple. The fact that you haven't cheated on each other isn't odd. You haven't cheated, because you love each other enough, and make each other happy enough not to. And as you said in your blog, it's just not your thing. Some people can handle open relationships, and kudos to them. Every heart beats a little different.
About the club...can I join? Is there some sort of hazing process, or do I need to send a money order somewhere? LOL
It really is sad that so many people tend to believe that all gay men are promiscuous. They can't seem to accept the idea that two same sex loving men can be monogamous.
ReplyDeleteI know that I have a problem accepting it in some gay couples because history has taught me different, but I know that there are many gay couples that are monogamous and I respect that totally, so should others.
You know I'm uber liberal, so I really don't care what form a relationship takes, as long as it is consensual. Being part of the monogamous club works for Stan and I and probably always will.
ReplyDeleteIt is really rare to find someone who can understand the full expression of sexuality. Most people have limits and baggage and that limits their perceptions of others and their relationships.
People just need to learn to love and be happy, and not judge others so hastily.
MIKEL - HAZING PROCESS...HMMM...
ReplyDeleteCHET - IT IS SOOOOO SAD!
ReplyDeleteKYLE - THEY CERTAINLY NEED TO LEARN!
ReplyDelete