THE FORGIVING JOGGER...

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(not actual jogger)

Have you met the forgiving jogger? I have...He is 5"8 175 lbs and lacks SELF-ESTEEM! If you know his story you would wonder how that came to be. This about it, HE took a supposingly STRAIGHT MAN from his WOMAN and didn't have the BALLS or COMMON SENSE to know that someone was sneaking some D!CK from HIS man...I know that he knew that his man was cheating on him, how could he not? He just pretended that it wasn't happening or just assumed that he know...either way he is DUMB ASS MOTHER F&CKER...But when one thinks about it, you get what give... he took this man from someone, so it's perfectly fitting that someone take him away...ISN'T IT? But no matter how he got his man, no one deserves to be cheated on...I know that had to hurt, seeing it with his own eyes, can't run from it then...it's there in plain sight...I honestly don't know if he could fully forgive him for cheating. It would depend on what the relationship had been like up until that point. When it's been a pretty smooth road, then it's easier to give things a go after one partner cheats. But if things have been rough, with a lot of ups and downs, I think he should probably just walk, no matter how much he loves him. I know that I am on the outside looking in, but don’t you think that I have a better view because I am not involved? I mean I can’t know what they feel, but I do know there are absolutes in this world and when a person cheats that’s LOUD and CLEAR! He is most likely addicted to the sex/affection and ignoring signs that this man is not good for him. If you really view someone as long term material you will not cheat on them, period. If a person does that they are saying that sex with someone else is more important then being with you. Can you imagine him saying, ‘Honey getting in this next man’s ASS was more important that preserving the purity of our relationship, sorry that's the deal?’ Do you think that they know that once the bed has been crapped in it will never be the same, and the relationship is probably doomed at some point? Do you think they are aware that every time you screw a past lover it sets you that far back again in moving on? I am going to play DEVIL’S advocate and ask why it happened. What was the connection like before, and what sort of connection can there be now given trust is shattered? Is there a rational (not emotional) reason to believe that he can change remembering that past behavior is the best predictor of future actions. Remember the bad - those who forget the past will repeat it - but also realize that it is possible for people to shape a different future if they have the courage. My point is this - to just want to get back with you probably is about sex. If, however, he has addressed the problem(s) and is willing to do the hard work, including earning your trust all over again, then at least listen. Don't jump into bed - don't trust his words, for words unsupported by actions are lies. Instead, watch his actions, keep your radar going, get out there and fill your life with other events and people. Don't give him the chance to get back with you the way it was - that will end in failure. Instead, if you MUST give him a chance, make him earn your friendship and renewed trust first. Given all of that over the course of months if not years, then maybe ... and even then, just maybe. Please remember that infidelity has been a feature of human relationships since the dawn of time. Keeping a MAN is a fight against nature, but that doesn't mean that we're biologically driven to stray. Culture, environment, upbringing, and so on are equally powerful forces. A young person raised to value being faithful will find that he or she can easily overcome impulses to cheat because of his or her strong moral stance…PLEASE BE AWARE THAT YOU HAVE A CHOICE. WHAT WILL YOU ACCEPT? CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF? CAN YOU DEAL WITH A LIFE THAT’S EMOTIONALLY DRAINING? I SAY NO YOU CAN’T…I WILL SAY THAT WHEN I SEE YOU ON MY WAY TO WORK JOGGING TRYING TO OUT-RUN YOUR PROBLEMS, I WILL HIT THEM WITH MY CAR TO KEEP THEM FROM CATCHING UP 2 U…