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God’s Gift
A dick,
An organ surrounded by sensitive skin
That's smooth and sometimes hairless.
Testicles on either side;
The taste, the smell, the feel…
Oh GOD what a perfect specimen,
Makes a MAN salivate,
As it uncoils when release from his underwear.
Some men fret about the size;
They give it lots of thought.
Is seven inches long enough?
It makes them quite distraught.
They peek across in urinals,
To compare and try to see
But if another glances back at them
There's no way that they are there to pee!
For they know they have the gift;
The gift that lights the torches of their soul,
Ascending them to a splendid cum-filled bliss of eternity!
The gift that must always be serviced and worshipped...
Licked, sucked, massage & swallowed!
This wild untamed beast,
Has a mind of its own,
So handle with love ad care.
I think the thing that's marvellous;
About that one eyed brute
Is that when its trying to procreate,
It knows which fluid to shoot.
Mothers have the babies,
But without the gift,
They won’t be able to procreate.
I know you ladies have to agree with me.
Lesbians will try their best;
But must admit defeat.
I'm sure you'll all agree,
They can’t harness the power of such an organ.
I smile at their envy,
As they cry and whimper…
I will pull, yank and tug on my gift,
Enjoying the pleasure of self love…
If masturbating is a sin;
Leave me and I will sin forever!
Cuz it really can relieve.
So watch me shoot my pure white fluid
Out of the one eyed brute.
Oh, watch me enjoy the sweet nectar of the GODS;
As dispel that old wives' tales!
Hmm…The joy of the gift…
But to tell the truth,
I try to limit my life;
Say I wouldn’t give in to envy but I do.
What can I say?
I am a mysterious mortal…
As I feel the veins of my gift pulsate,
I know what that means,
A woman jus’ won’t do!
Funny,
I should want to be delivered from temptation,
But I know somehow it would keep in touch with me,
Manifesting it through me!
Damn this journey from childhood to homosexuality!
If I could be fucked by my gift,
I wouldn’t give a FCUK ‘bout niggas!
Damn this curse…
Nonetheless I am enjoying my gift,
Havin' sex in a country …
That possesses the most assholes per capita!
I am powerless,
I have penis envy,
And always it will remain with me;
Until I am old and frail. I love God’s gift.
What Kind of Penis Do You Have?
The Excedrin Penis: Its tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.
The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you.
The Magnavox Penis: Smart. Very Smart.
The American Express Penis: Don’t leave home without it.
The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis: How many licks DOES it take...?
The M&M Penis: It melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
The Lucky Charms Penis: It's magically delicious.
The Energizer Penis: It keeps going and going and going.
The Campbell's Soup Penis: Mmm, Mmm good.
The Kix Penis: Kid tested, mother approved.
The Tombstone Penis: What would you like on your penis?
The Ragu Penis: Comes out chunkier than the rest.
The Cobain Penis: It blows itself away.
The All State Penis: You’re in good hands.
The Barqs Penis: The one with bite.
The Beef Penis: It’s what’s for dinner.
The Bud Lite Penis: Great taste, less filling.
The Twizzler Penis: It makes mouths happy.
The Starburst Penis: The juice is loose.
The Timex Penis: Takes a lickin and keeps on tickin.
The Wendy’s Penis: Where’s the beef?
The Lays Penis: Betcha can’t eat just one.
The Bounty Penis: The quicker picker-upper.
The Rice Krispies Penis: What does your penis say to you?
The Extra Penis: Lasts an extra, extra, extra long time.
The Charmin Penis: Don’t squeeze the penis
The Virginia Slims Penis: You’ve come a long way, baby.
The Secret Penis: Strong enough for a man, ph balanced for MAN.
The Maxwell House Penis: Good to the last drop.
The Payday Penis: It’s almost totally nuts
The Yellow Pages Penis: Let your fingers do the walkin.
The Reeses Penis: How do you eat your penis?
The Sustecal Penis: More protein, less fat
The Milk Penis: It does a body good
The Taco Bell Penis: It runs for the border.
The Cinnamon Toast Crunch Penis: It's the adult thing to do?
The AOL Penis: It’s so easy to use, no wonder it’s #1?
The Pontiac Penis: Built for kicks, built for Keeps
The Psychic Penis: It knows you are coming before you do.
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