¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Wednesday, 22 August 2012


Is there really such a thing as a “gay lifestyle?” It is a phrase used over and over again by both those within and outside the queer community. A “lifestyle” is the manner by which a person chooses to live their lives. The key word is “choose.” Do queer people choose their lifestyle? It depends on how one is using the phrase contextually. In a general sense we all have a lifestyle that inherently belongs to us, and is one that we choose to live. My lifestyle involves waking up in the morning, having my morning coffee while I surf the web and chat with friends on gay.com. I go to work, earn money to pay the mortgage and other bills and hopefully have a little left over. These are all voluntary actions and are part of what comprises my lifestyle.
However it is an erroneous assumption to carry this logic to one’s sexuality. It is not a choice. The insistence of some that being queer is a choice and that one can change the way they were born causes, many times, irreparable damage to one’s psyche, self-esteem and their sense of who they truly are. It causes one to live a life that is not theirs, to create a façade, a lie that envelops the true essence of who they are.
Denying one’s very being is epitomized in a quote that I often reference. “The torment of human frustration, whatever its immediate cause, is the knowledge that the self is in prison, its vital force leaking away in wasteful self-conflict.” Many queer persons live two lives. They are in prison not due to their own doing but for what society dictates them to be and how they should act. They waste their lives, their inherent potential, and their vital life force, on worrying about hiding themselves. Wasteful self-conflict is being torn between those that say we can choose who we are versus living our lives as we were born to as out, proud, productive individuals who just happen to have many of the same lifestyles as everyone else, except that we love another of the same sex.
So no, there is no such thing as the “gay lifestyle.” There is no choice involved. We are who we are born to be. We cannot change that. Do not let anyone tell you any different!


  1. I beg to differ... there is in fact a lifestyle when it comes to sexuality; whether it be Gay or Hetero. We all have the choice as to who and how many people we sleep with, whether or not we use protection and how we 'espress' our sexuality. i.e. sub/dom, humiliation pain, older/younger, group, pig play, etc, etc. and it is amazing how many guys do lead multiple lives in this regard. The fact that the outside world sees this and catagorizes us?? well, if it walks and quacks like a duck....

    1. LOVE when you comment on stuff that has grey areas.

    2. I AM a grey area... impossible to catagorize and I like it that way....

  2. I agree with you, my buddy, in that we all choose our respective lifestyles. There is no specific lifestyle for GLBT people, just as there is no specific lifestyle for any other cultural group. We may share common traits, routines, rituals or interests but it ultimately is an individual decision.

    Almost everyone has a "dual identity." We behave one way in public and another privately. This behavior ranges from a simple choice of dress/undress, language or hobbies to major choices such as sexuality, recreational activities and substance consumption. These identities do not necessarily reflect cultural values.

    Great blog post, friend!

    1. What is your 'dual identity' sir? :-)

    2. Every once in a while, I pass myself off as a man who wears clothes! LOL! Surprised?




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