¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Friday, 16 January 2009

YESTERDAY I...


 Isn’t it sad how we allow our lives to become infected by FEAR? Fear has spread to the VERY existence of life and it has taken over; but how does one pick up the pieces? YESTERDAY, I took a difficult stand to define, name, create for AND speak for myself. YESTERDAY, I chose to exist AND fill the hole of my existence. YESTERDAY, I filled the missing role in this world and laid my eyes on my boss (the B!TCH) for the last AND final time…I was presented with an ultimatum, a choice AND like one of my favorite movies tells, THE CHOICES IN LIFE HAVE ALREADY BEEN MADE, WE ARE ONLY HERE TO UNDERSTAND IT. So I write this blog entry with clarity AND confidence for I have faced the most difficult situation of my life and I decided to take the path that offered life OVER certain death. The B!TCH decided that I wasn’t working out, I am not doing what I should AND she wanted to place me back on probation…I signed the letter after much debate where I realized that she has a PERSONAL problem with me and NO matter  what I do/say I will FOREVER be wrong. So when I returned from lunch I typed up my resignation letter and handed it to her, it was interesting to see her almost come to tears as she try to explain to me that she did this for my own good, but I thought to myself…if this is for my own good and I am SO incapable of performing on the job, HOW IS THAT I AM THE ONLY PERSON IN THE COMPANY THAT IS WORKING ON THE NEW SYSTEM THAT WAS JUST PURCHASED? If I am SO dumb why keep me on? It is obvious to me that she knows NOTHING about the system since I was the one that created EVERY single bit of information that’s in it (light bulb) that ONLY could  mean that she wanted me to finish what she can’t and when I am done with that then what? As I reflect on our meeting I can’t help but hear her say how TEDIOUS THE TASK WAS & THAT SHE WON’T HOLD THAT AGAINST ME…yet you are basically firing me? I wasn’t born this size AND I maybe a black man, but I am NOT a dumb black man. She is much like the others that came to do battle by trying to hold me hostage AND I did NOT give her my soul…I don’t know what lies ahead AND I know the problems that are going on in the world right now, but I cannot allow that to keep me prisoner in a place that seems to think that I am begging for money when I am putting up with their shit AND performing @ a company that has NO structure OR vision. When I think of the times I closed my eyes on many occasions AND just took whatever because I needed the money. Leaving me only to wonder, what does this cost my soul? Isn’t there a time when enough is enough AND too much becomes too much? I have worked long enough for me to realize that it doesn’t pay to sell yourself so that others can rape AND steal your future. That’s why the world is in the state it is @ the moment AND though many will keep this energy in motion, I’ve decided that MY LIFE…MY FUTURE…MY UNIQUENESS is a gift given to me AND it is my responsibility to see that I play a role in my life rather than have persons like her constantly calling the shots…YESTERDAY I…

29 comments:

  1. As long as you feel good about what you did - then you made the right decision.

    XOXOXOXOXOXO

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  2. I remember that it was not too long ago when you wrote about being out of a job but being thankful that Noel was there to offer some help (if I remember your post correctly). And I remember when you told us that you had found a job. I was so happy. But who could have known the heartache that was lying in wait for you?

    Today when I read that you had resigned, I became momentarily afraid. I say momentarily because this situation cannot last forever, or otherwise it would be an anomaly.

    Last December I said I wished that 2009 could be a different year job-wise. I hope this is the beginning of better things to come. You have to be hopeful and not let fear rule your mind. Sometimes we just have to trust ourselves and make that leap of faith. It is the only way we can move forward. Besides, if we are constantly afraid to take risks, we might miss what could have been our good fortune.

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  3. I wish that soon the sun shines for you. And I'll offer my small prayer, hoping that it reaches the Almighty.

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  4. Im proud of you. And once again am inspired by you as well. You did all you could do and all the you did was good enough. You not allowing yourself to be taken advantage of any longer is a testimony you will have to share for a long time to come. I KNOW that God is about to open a door to something even better for you. Where all that you are is appreciated and celebrated.

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  5. I SHOULD HEVE ASKED. ARE YOU SCARED AND UNCERTAIN?

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  6. BRAVO DAMN IT!!!

    Better to be happy than miserable.

    Good louck with the job hunt.

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  7. I look up to you in certain ways - this is one of them...
    I also get really scared every time as well

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  8. be happy...that's what keep you going, right

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  9. This may be a blessing in disguise. Taking complete ownerhsip of our life is a liberating and frightening experience. I generally do not subscribe to impulsive decision making, but I also understand the toll sustained stress can take on a person. I pray you find a suitable job in the immediate future.

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  10. Every time a door closes ANOTHER ONE OPENS! Don't stress your job resignation or that BITCH of a Boss!
    Get ready to step into your real life.

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  11. DAVID DUST - I FEEL @ PEACE WITH THE DECISION THAT I MADE & IT IS ALL ABOUT MOVING TO THE NEXT PHASE OF MY LIFE

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  12. TRU3LOGIC - I AM PROUD OF ME TOO BECAUSE I KNEW THAT I STAYED AS LONG AS DID BECAUSE I SAW BEYOND HER ATTITUDE & BEHAVIOR, BUT WHEN I SAW THAT HOW SHE REALLY THOUGHT & FELT ABOUT ME, I DECIDED THAT I CAN'T STAY EMPLOYED THERE...

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  13. CLNMIKE - IT MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD TO READ YOUR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT...THANK YOU

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  14. ®‡ø - I NEVER KNEW THAT YOU LOOKED @ TO ME IN THIS WAY...I USED TO BE SCARED BUT I AM NOT ANYMORE...MY FUTURE ISN'T HERE & THE UNIVERSE KEEPS TELLING ME THIS. NO MATTER HOW HARD IN THE PAST I TRIED TO PLANT MY FEET ON THIS ROCK, THEY ALWAYS END UP COMING LOOSE...BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING, ALL WILL BE WELL

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  15. WONDER MAN - I WOULD HAVE TO SAY THAT TRUTH & HONESTY IS WHAT KEEPS ME GOING...

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  16. COREY - THE CRAZY THING IS THAT THERE IS NO PART OF ME THAT STRESSES ABOUT MY DECISION & THE FACT THAT THE ECONOMY IS REALLY DIFFICULT RIGHT...I FEEL AS IF I AM GOING TO WALK INTO MY DESTINY THAT WILL TAKE ME TO THE NEXT PHASE OF MY LIFE

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  17. LOSOJOSNUEVOS - I KNOW THAT THIS CAN & WILL BRING SOMETHING DIFFERENT INTO MY LIFE...THIS WASN'T AN IMPULSIVE DECISION @ ALL & THOUGH MY TIME THERE WAS SHORT, I'VE CONTEMPLATED THIS MOVE FOR A WHILE NOW...I JUST COULDN'T CLOSE MY EYES TO THE TRUTH ANY LONGER

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  18. SHALLOTTE – I SAVED MY RESPONSE TO YOU FOR BECAUSE OF THE THINGS WE CHATTED ABOUT YESTERDAY & I WANTED TO YOU TO KNOW THAT I CHERISH YOUR HEART...I GUESS I KNEW THE HEARTACHE THAT WAS WAITING FOR ME. WORKING HERE IN THE BAHAMAS WHERE YOU ARE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF @ EVERY TURN IS SICKENING & PAINFUL, BUT SOMEHOW…SOMEWAY WE DO IT. I SUPPOSE I AM DIFFERENT BECAUSE I CAN’T FORCE MYSELF TO DO SOMETHING THAT IS TRYING TO DESTROY ME. IT GOES AGAINST MY NATURE…ABOUT YOUR BEING AFRAID; I FEEL THAT BY ME DOING THIS I’VE WALKED INTO MY LIFE NOT AFRAID OR UNCERTAIN…

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  19. Fair enough. Good luck with the job search. I can send you a care package if necessary :)

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  20. Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!

    Sweets you ok?? Ive been away too too long, and we need to talk!

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  21. Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!

    Sweets you ok?? Ive been away too too long, and we need to talk!

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  22. Dang...I will be calling you so soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  23. OYIN - I THIS WAS GOING TO BE YOUR REACTION

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  24. Yep you know me....I love me some him....hahahaha


    oh and the pics are like woahhh!

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  25. I totally agree with you man, I really do. U did what was best for u, and I'm proud you stood up for what u feel, and believe in.

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  26. Man, you're going to be ok. Trust that. The bottom line is that if never take a chance and step away from that misery, you will forever be consumed with it. Now you have an opportunity to change that. The horizon holds greater things for you. Now go after it. You have all the power, man. CHUMA www.ChumaSpiritMagaizne.com

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  27. CHUMA - I THANK FOR YOUR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT, IT IS PERSONS SUCH AS YOURSELF THAT KEEP THE WORLD SPINNING

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  28. I DO AGREE THAT FEAR IS A POWERFUL FORCE AND PARALYZES US,KEEPING US IN UNHAPPY AND PAINFUL SITUATIONS.I'VE ADMIRED YOUR CONFIDENCE IN WHO UR AS WELL AS YOUR FEARLESS NATURE AND YOUR WILLINGNESS TO TAKE CALCULATED RISKS FROM DAY ONE WHICH AGAIN HAVE BEEN MANIFESTED FROM THIS SITUATION. KUDOS TO YOU BABES..... IF ALL OF US HAD YOUR STRENGTH AND CONFIDENCE WE WOULD MOVE MOUNTAINS.

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