¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Friday, 15 August 2008


Yesterday my cousin phoned me in shock AND awe about our how 16 year old cousin is living her life. Though it wasn’t about me, I soon realized that to some extent that it was. She recounted the story about how my cousin told her about having sex and NOT using condoms and as her story came to an end she told me that my uncle told her that if doesn’t watch her step she will end up a WHORE like her MOTHER or GAY LIKE ME. This brought to me another conversation that a friend and I were having about how heteros will NEVER really accept homos. They may smile with us, say nice things to us but in long run they feel that we more than likely the worst form life on this planet. Now I found this to be interesting because I saw this very same uncle the day before this call and he like so many others in my old neighbourhood asked me for money. Which immediately brought to my mind that I am good enough to take money and whatever else from, but I am TOO GAY to be given respect? A degenerate I am NOT; and I find it EXTREMELY sad that I am apart of the majority but because I am GAY I am considered a minority. Only someone EVIL would use AND abuse us rahter than see who we really are. But you know what is SO crazy about this situation? This very same uncle of mine is VERY much GAY himself. I got irrefutable proof of this but never used it against him OR try to bring him down. I guess breaking through the ADDED layer of religion AND masculinity he has proven that he is really the ANTI-GAY. Doesn’t it? Ignorance AND fear does indeed play a role in most of society’s injustices and his words proves this fact. But considering that we are all fighting the same fight, it baffles me that we can take time away from what is really important and turn on each other. But I guess as Hitler oppressed the Jews because they were different from him, it shouldn’t be that surprising that someone is trying to oppress me. Nonetheless, I am baffled by that HATRED has lived this long. Do you think it is because I am GAY I cannot see HIS logic? Does my reaction to his feeling shows that I have prejudices of my own? But on the flip side of this I think NO because I grew up in the same area as he did and as far back as I can remember I always wondered OR thought about the things that grown ups talked about when it came to homosexuals. These thoughts were NOT fear based OR dipped in lies, I sought the truth. I suppose this shows that we all enter situations with a certain belief system that’s shaped by our life experiences; and there are things that affect our comfort zone. And my being GAY affects his comfort zone. Nonetheless, my goal @ the end of the day is to somehow, someway eliminate prejudice. Though it will probably ALWAYS exist because of differences AND ignorance I will NOT stop. Going forward now I ask myself, WHAT DO I DO WHEN A PERSON OR LIFE EXPERIENCE IS OUTSIDE OF MY COMFORT ZONE? HOW SHOULD I RESPOND? WILL FEAR FORCE ME TO LASH OUT OR DENY THAT PERSON THE BASIC HUMAN RESPECT? OF COURSE NOT! FOR GREATER THAN HIS LACK OF UNDERSTANDING OF WHO I AM IS WHO I AM & HE COULD ONLY WISH & PRAY THAT HE COULD BE GAY LIKE ME…


  1. Thanks for this...for your candor...for your unwillingness to lie to yourself about the people we come from. No misguided search for denial based acceptance or external validation from people who smile and refuse to profoundly understand the gifts that Black queer folk are to the Middle Passage. We, like them, walk with the essence of the ancestors craddled within. They need to just get over their messed up homophobic shite and come to grips with who we are/they are...
    Hugs and again, many thanks for just tellin' it.


    This is a truly powerful statement. Truth is that envy shows itself in many ways so does weakness and feelings of apathy and failure. It is human nature that when someone excels despite being counted out as a failure. A man of 'abnormal' behavior who is supposed to be scourged by the earth, vilified and humiliated just for being true to who he is and yet somehow the perfect plan of the people who think like this uncle hasn't come true.

    It is one thing to live out loud and a whole other thing to live in secret - society loves those who live in secret. The disheartening part of it all is that hope for the people of this generation is long gone however, the future belongs to those who question the lies and deceit and don't take it for truth - but rather look @ the people who live out loud who live their truth and see them as exemplary beings, people of light... this is the thing that hurts people like your uncle the most.
    A girl so lost would still look @ a man who is seen as less than rather than look to him who has been living in the dark all his life, As if to say 'you see the degenerate as better than me, so maybe you will become like him'

    The journey that you have taken he will never even dream to




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