THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL...(BEAUTIFULBLKBOI)

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...As I sit; your song fill my soul with love I can't help but love you. You bring back the moment when we first kiss and that takes me to another level. I know now that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, take care of you, walk with you...LOVE you. It's so crazy because I get so nervous about dating an artist that is performing, it makes me all anxious, but this time it was different. I was free and happy, I was tune into him. His words went right through me, touched me from the bottom of my feet to the tip of my forehead; I had chill bumps on my body. The only thing I could do was sit still and allow his song to free me, take me to that place; that place I longed to be for so long. As the love filled me up inside I wanted him to know, I wanted him to see it (not that I had a choice) the tears where there. I couldn't believe it, it was so strange; something that I had never felt before. My heart belongs to him, I am living the dream and I am not afraid. So many songs come to mind and I know I am no singer so I thought I'd give him the gift of my words and show him how he makes me feel...

Beautifulblkboi (I CELEBRATE YOU!) for Travis For the aroma of your aura…

That ignites my soul,

I CELEBRATE YOU!

For the strength & character you posses…

That gives me courage,

I CELEBRATE YOU! For the heart of humility that touches my heart…

That says you are indeed the apple of my eye,

I CELEBRATE YOU! For the beauty that you distribute…

That graces me with warmth,

I CELEBRATE YOU! For the majestic melody of your love…

That touches my yearning spirit,

I CELEBRATE YOU! For the angelic sound of your voice…

That flows right through me,

I CELEBRATE YOU! For the sparkle that glistens when you smile…

That lights up my life,

I CELEBRATE YOU! For your sweet elixirs that intoxicate me…

That I can never get enough of,

I CELEBRATE YOU! For the joker in you & laughter that you share…

That makes me laugh ever so heartily,

I CELEBRATE YOU! For the power you hold in your hands…

That shows me your GOD potential,

I CELEBRATE YOU! For the vision you hold in your heart…

That gives me someone to walk life’s path with,

I CELEBRATE YOU! For the wisdom you hold in your spirit…

That comes from living many life times,

I CELEBRATE YOU! For the Sexiness you hold in your walk…

That always gets me going,

I CELEBRATE YOU! For the bitch you embody…

That makes me know we are kindred spirits,

I CELEBRATE YOU! For your beautifulblk skin…

That tells your life story,

I CELEBRATE YOU! For the gay man in you…

That says you know your purpose

I CELEBRATE YOU! For being my perfect imperfection…

That says you were made just for me,

I CELEBRATE YOU!

START OVER

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When you've trusted God and walked his way,

When you've felt His Hand lead you day by day,

But your steps now take you another way--START OVER.

When you've made your plans and they've gone awry,

When you've tried your best and there's no more try,

When you've failed yourself and you don't know why--START OVER.

When you've told your friends what you plan to do,

When you've trusted them and they didn't come through,

And now you're all alone and it's up to you--START OVER.

When you think you're finished and want to quit,

When you've bottomed out in life's deepest pit,

When you've tried and tried to get out of it--START OVER.

When the year has been long and successes few,

When December comes and you're feeling blue,

God Gives a January just for you--START OVER.

...JUST POSTED THIS 2 REMIND MYSELF NOT 2 GIVE UP

IF I COULD...(FRIEND)

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If I could catch a rainbow

I would do it

Just for you

And share with you its beauty

On the days you're feeling blue

If I could build a mountain

You could call your very own

A place to find serenity

A place to be alone

If I could take your troubles

I would toss them in the sea

But all these things

I'm finding are impossible for me

I cannot build a mountain

Or catch a rainbow fair

But let me be

A friend

That's always there...

for those that don't have a friend...

I AM LOVE...I AM LIGHT!

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the warrior comes in all men

how strong is to his will to walk hard

and to stand without fear to breath another day

its not the days in number to matter

but the fact of the days you were the greatest battle is to be taken

as any to fall is to live in freedom

but to back down from the challenge to see the next days sun

is to ask for mercy

proudly stand to that final blow

rage with every last bit of fight left

for you will not be layed down

but rather knocked from your feet one worth you at cost.

take wise to show courage

regret be far from me

fullfillment comes in that last sweeet taste

that's whats matters

going with a smile a man is a legend

faults of no concern and the true test starts.

the people will place me to their shoulders

as I stretch my sword above victory is my humble heart!

HOMOSEXUALITY...(THE WAY GOD INTENDED...)

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Nobody seems to likes homosexuals…it’s always open season on the same sex prone crowd. They consider our ‘UNIQUENESS’ strange, our language foreign. Our confidence is seen as ignorant; laughing at our heart’s defeat because we are living a life that isn’t meant to be. We are living an accidental existence whose intelligence is down graded. We make them question things they can’t understand about themselves which they can’t internalize because it’s too scary in there. Pride for our sexuality makes us ‘TOO GAY’ yet; we can only be what we are meant to be. And, who are we you might ask? We are that STRONG HUMAN BEING who stands tall, with an erect spine pointing to the stars. We are here to show the world that not only do we possess the ability to play by the rules; we can make them as well.

I was five years old when I knew I liked boys; it was so comforting, so easy, so pure…so right. I liked playing cowboys n’ Indians with my best friends so naturally I was the Indian and naturally I will always allow myself to be captured knowing that I will have my hands placed firmly behind my back with my best friend breathing heavily on my neck with his penis placed right on my ass. Oh God how I loved that feeling! Growing up I was always told that I was be killed if I turned out to be gay. I smile at that notion now because I know that I didn’t turn out to be gay, gay is who I am, gay is who I am meant to be, gay is who I choose to be.

Do you think that they realize that there’s such a strong archetype for a MAN that is gay? How could it not? Think about it…It's that hidden self, that secret self, that part of his being that isn’t defined by secrets or sexuality…But by the heart. We are those ‘SPECIAL’ persons that know about dealing with the internal and the external whether we want to or not; we have no other choice. We know that we soothe the spirit of turmoil and purge the crippleness of self-hatred. We have to puke out the mess for all to see and destroy the very human need to classify and label. We are naturally this way because when you are outcast it brings closer to God; we walk the path that Jesus walked. We are praised as long as we don’t claim who we truly are and literally crucified when we make our GAY PROCLAMATION!

I am a man first and a homosexual second, I am not defined by who I exercise my right to copulate with; the rest of the world don’t so why should I? As a same gender loving man, I am oppressed. As a man, I have been shunned, abused and rendered invisible for being same sex prone. From the cradle I was made to understand…From society at large and too frequently, my own family that the man I am wrong and unacceptable. This is relentless denial of our humanity, our GOD POTENTIAL and right we have to live a life we so wish. If we are made in GOD’S image why would we have retreated from large portions of ourselves? So, we won’t internalize this supposing christian model of experience that made us see ‘homophobia’ as ‘right.’ We won’t internalize this culture’s homophobia and ignorance that tries to make us believe that we are invalid. How can you make me hate myself for tapping into my female energies? It took both a MAN & WOMAN to create me so naturally I will find my balance.

We should rejoice in being the people that we are. We are the honorable image of mankind…The defiant ones, the ones that refuse to be anything other than what is natural to us. We are the root, stability and resilience of the whole being. There is value placed on use that makes those that can’t deal with themselves feel like they are the strange ones. So naturally it makes sense to make us look like we are not what life is suppose to be about. Even though we are classified as the epitome of God’s abomination; we are not going away. Our uniqueness as same gender loving group of persons makes us the WITCHES & GATE-KEEPERS to the next world.

We are the world’s rebirth; we carry with us the sense of hope and renewal. We are the sun the start of each new day, we are that first sliver of dawn paints the horizon, gradually spreading our color. We illuminate the world, inspiring birds to song and the change of each season. I am afraid because if we are not embraced before we fade life itself will be lost, we are the homage to temporary-permanence…We are going to be the LAST GROUP OF PEOPLE STANDING. We are surrounded by deep water and the world is trying to drown us. But we refuse to give up and we will keep our head above water; our purpose on this planet is too important.

So as you try make us bargain with God, asking him to change things that we cannot, asking him to destroy what we agreed to before entering this planet, asking him not to try us for another day…We know better, we know that life isn’t only what happens here but what occurs after…So as we beg and plead for just one more stay, God listens to us as we cry out in pain and confusion. He reassures us that there exist restrictions to a force, that even the most powerful may apply without destroying themselves and judging this limit is the true artistry of your humanity. Misuse of power is the fatal sin and our sexual identity cannot be a tool of vengeance, nor a fortification against the martyr it has created. This is our story; we have to fulfill our destiny! We have to substitute our pain and confusion with self love, for our sexual identity are all apart of the journey to find “HIM.” WE ARE THE NEXT STEP IN THE CHAIN OF EVOLUTION, WE ARE THE WAY THE TRUTH AND THE LIGHT!