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You’ve probably heard this a million times: “You never get a second
chance to make a first impression.” While this sentiment is often used to keep
us prepared and on our toes, when it comes to dating and mating, first
impressions are often times misleading.
Think about it.
When you first meet a guy, the two of you are most likely putting
your best foot forward. You may be out at a mixer or lounge, head held high
with a flirty smile dancing at the corners of your mouth. Your laugh is easy
and your conversation is engaging. And he is doing his best to be attentive,
polite, and oh-so manly. At that moment your representatives are getting along
just fine, but will it translate into a match? When you peal back the layers, will the two of you still be able to get it
on?
I know not all relationships are built on physical attraction and
that delicious bit of nervousness you feel in your stomach, but I’d be lying if
I said those things didn’t matter at all. They do. That little something you
can’t quite put your finger on that makes you think about that person long
after they’ve gone was missing, and you questioned whether or not another date
(or two) was in order before relegating this guy to the friend file.
How have you handled a first date that left you feeling
lukewarm? Did you go out again or did you just move on to the next one?
My friend, for the very reason that you mentioned, I always go out two or three times before making a decision on whether to continue or not. Sometimes the third impression is more honest and revealing.
ReplyDeleteYeah TOO many of us want that instant connection and it simply isn't there @ every moment for everyone.
DeleteFirst impressions last. There is something to be said for instincts. Generally I go on one date and if I'm not feeling it, then that's it.
ReplyDeleteTrue, but what if the 3rd time is the charm?
DeleteI am not a personal believer in wasting time and energy on what ifs. What if on the fifth or eighth or tenth date he makes your bell ring, lol. At one point we have to say, okay, this is just not it. I don't think a first date needs to be perfect, but some chemistry or like interests. Bottom line is I would not be friends with them, I'm sure as hell not going to waste my te dating them. Same thing with sex, if it was terrible the first time, I'm not going back for a second lousy time.
DeleteI am with there and as soon as I posted the comment above, I realize that we all are different and if someone sparked something in you on a first date you would go for date number 2 ;-) I am the same way.
DeleteI also kind of feel like it is dishonest. When you ask someone out a second time, or agree to go out, it implies that you like them. Is it really honest to do that when all you are hoping is that they change? That it is not the real them? Also, if they are putting on their best behavior act, they are being dishonest, so why bother. I think life is a lot easier if you are just you. After all, isn't dating supposed to be about getting to know each other? If someone goes out with me a second time hoping I'll change, they are destined for disappointment. You get me, warts and all, right from the start.
DeleteI remember when I was dating more than one person @ a time and told them each of them, they got upset called me a whore and everything else. I laughed @ it because if you don't feel you can shine despite how many persons I see then...(I know this is off topic, but reading your comment brought this to me)
DeleteSo true. Gotta love how guys who make no commitment to you or vice versa like to think you are waiting on them with bated breath.
DeleteKinda sad :-(
DeleteIt's a hard call- sometimes you know half-way into the first date that there is no chemistry and somethimes it takes a few encounters to find out what an asshole the guy really is. Been there, done that; oh, how many times? I think that the time investment is minimal and worth the effort.
ReplyDeleteWorth the effort? Okay then.
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