OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: GOOD SEX~BAD MAN!

Tweet

THIS ENTRY MAKES ME SMILE BECAUSE IT CAN BE ABOUT TO MEN FROM MY PAST & IT IS SO INTERESTING HOW I CAN READ THIS & NOT FEEL WHAT I FELT FOR THEM BACK THEM. WHO EVER SAID TIME HEALS KNEW WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT...AH, LIFE HUH?

Talk about SEX giving me permission to express myself…I use to think that having the RIGHT SEX with the WRONG MAN was myth and I never wanted the opportunity to find out. This is until I met HIM. Now we started out with the idea that we were going to be friends because that is what was safe and easy. He was a snake laying in wait for a prey and I was his target meal. Sex with was so GOOD that I almost passed out from the thrill, our sexual organs had such a STRONG connection and I know that I could not get better than that. SEX with him was RIGHT it had to be WRONG; this wonderful event made us wish that we could occupy each OTHER’s PERMANENTLY. SEX with him was so RIGHT that I live in every breath as we made our home in each other. Our SEX was so RIGHT that it bestowed upon us the things that made us less of each other. This SEX was so RIGHT we SHINE and GLOW in GOD’S light, never doubting…never satisfy.

I know this man was so wrong for me because he proved he could work his ASS no matter what ROLE he is playing. He knows every nook, cranny, and leave no stone unturned; he is the master @ what he does and he does it very well. He knows my body and I know his, we are familiar territory that dispels ALL anal sex myths. He is great to be with, very affectionate and handles me with extreme CARE and ATTENTION. Sadly SEX is the only thing we can do RIGHT for I had him HIGHER than he had me. His hesitation to put me on the same pedestal emotionally as he would sexually told me all. I WONDER IF HE KNOWS THAT I CRIED BECAUSE OF THAT? I wish so hard that his EMOTIONAL side will sneak out like sensual side when he let us his guard down. I wonder if he ever gets his fill of me? I guess he does because if it were LOVE he would not or could not deny me. I often ask the LAWD why this MAN out all the MEN in the world? If he is the MAN of my dreams, the one for me why are we not together forever? LAWD knows that I LOVE him so…Do you think he could somehow morph into THIS MAN instead of THAT MAN? 

I so wish he could be the one for me and to be honest he is wearing me down. All I have are memories of PLEASURE and a PAIN in my HEART. I guess I should have seen it coming though, I know now that I am #3 because you put yourself first, followed by the others then me. You are so wrong for me that you the EPITOME of what a MAN is not, now I have to face the DARK TRUTH and face that the fact that I LOVED ALL BY MYSELF. HE WAS ANOTHER MEMORY THAT CAME TO MY LIFE…HMMM, I WONDER IF HE AFFECTED ME? I THINK HE scarred MY SOUL JUST A LITTLE…BUT I HOPE HE DOES KNOW THAT I AM NOT ANGRY @ HIM, IF I FEEL ANGER is ALL ME & NO ONE ELSE. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT YOU GAVE ME GOOD SEX, YOU DID NOT ASK FOR THE KEYS TO MY HEART & THE LOCK THAT CAME WITH IT. I WISH I KNEW WHY LIFE HAS TO BE THIS WAY. I WONDER IF I WILL EVER HAVE THE RIGHT SEX WITH THE RIGHT MAN?