¿HAVE YOU "COME IN" LATELY?

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Most people are familiar with the term "coming out," where an individual begins disclosing his/her sexual identity and gender expression to others. But what does it mean to COME IN? COMING IN is the process of discovering ones self-identity and gender expression. Like coming out, coming in is an ongoing process and not a singular event. Discovering ones self-identity and gender expression can take time. According to medical site WebMD, "There is about a two-year period of time for many youth during which they self identify as non-heterosexual––but they tend to keep this information to themselves."

Many people discover their same-sex attractions, bisexuality and gender expression during the coming in process; however, coming in doesn't always begin during adolescence. A person can come in later in life (high school, college, and post-education) depending on a number of factors such as an individual's level of self-acceptance, family life and other environments.


Many LGBT-identified people are/were just like I was when I began coming in. Once I discovered that I had same-sex feelings, the floodgates opened and I became preoccupied with discovering what my feelings really meant. Were they just sexual–a fantasy? Emotional? I didn't know at first. All I knew was that I was attracted to other men. And though I didn’t get a chance to come out (I was thrown out) it took me a few years to properly COME IN and discover myself.

However, I’ve found out that exploring attractions on a physical, emotional and spiritual level is the best way to COME IN and in turn come out. And even still, the coming out and coming in process continues as life experiences and environments change. I must say, I've had same-sex relationships for all of my adult life and can only imagine building a life with another man and my COMING IN is ongoing processes…HAVE YOU ALLOWED YOURSELF TO COME IN? ARE YOU OPEN TO THE CONTINUAL DISCOVERY OF YOUR LGBT-IDENTIFIED CONNECTIONS?