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I’ve come to realize that just because I am NOT everyone’s standard mold of a man, that it doesn't mean I need to cram myself into the wrong fit to suit their purpose. For as long as I remember, I have given myself PERMISSION to be me and I am not about to stop now…The man that I am isn’t representative of the GAY community, heck I don’t even represent the majority anywhere. And that’s fine by me because I do represent the few who push N’ claw their way to light when darkness finds me. The ones that are NOT yes men OR women, who want only the best for each and every person living on this planet. When I breathe, love OR speak…I speak with a truth that is NOT my own…I don’t exist by anyone’s standards and I don’t expect anyone to live by mine. Isn’t it AMAZING how so many us have this belief that fitting into a mold may seem easy? I don’t know about you, but as long as I’ve been on this planet I’ve come to realize that there will always be something more OR less I could do to fit it better and unfortunately, it will never be enough. Being part of this minority naturally sets me up to feel alienated from the majority. But if I am to be fair to myself, I OWE it to myself to relish the benefits. I get to see life distinctly different from the majority; and it is men AND women such as me that get to be trailblazers because we can think out of the proverbial box AND forge into uncharted territory. Though we are often seen as cynics on the sidelines that don’t offer much, I find that we tend to be the best allies a person can have. So the next time you find yourself in the presence of one of us, remember that yin CANNOT exist without the yang; and if we can remember that, then we actually have a lot in common…AFTER ALL, AREN’T WE ALL SWIMMING IN AN OCEAN OF DIVERSITY; SO HOW DOES MY UNIQUENESS SHINE IF I AM TRYING TO BE YOU? YOU CAN CALL ME CRAZY, YOU CAN EVEN CALL ME STUPID…BUT THE ONE THING YOU WON’T EVER CALL ME IS AN ORDINARY MAN…THAT’S BECAUSE I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE THINGS I’VE DONE IN THIS LIFE…I STOPPED WAITING ON PERFECT & REALIZED THAT I HAVE CREATE IT IN MY WORLD & COMMUNITY…& I’VE PROMISED MYSELF THAT I WILL ALWAYS BE HONEST NO MATTER WHAT THE CAUSE EVEN THOUGH I WISH I CAN SAY I AM SORRY, I CAN’T BECAUSE…I DON’T NEED PERMISSION TO BE ME & NO ONE EVER SHOULD…
AMEN, MY FRIEND. AMEN...
ReplyDeleteNO NEED TO ADD ANYTHING CAUSE I'LL ONLY MESS UP WHAT IS OTHERWISE PERFECT.
MISS SHALLOTTE - YOU SPARKED THIS BLOG ENTRY...THANK YOU...
ReplyDeleteKudos to you for posting this and boy do I wish many more gay men felt this way out there, too. Thanks again.
ReplyDeleteI watched someone very close to me almost drink himself to death because of the things you mentioned. He stopped drinking as soon as he came out of the closet and realized those who loved him would accept him anyway.
ReplyDeleteCONSTANT MOTION - THERE ARE MANY OUT THERE...ONLY THEY DON'T KNOW IT YET...
ReplyDeleteSCORNED WOMAN - THANK GOD HE DIDN'T LOOSE HIMSELF...
ReplyDeleteWay to go, K. Absolute individuality is a wonderful thing.
ReplyDeleteFan-fucking-tastic Man! One line got to me -- "I stopped waiting on perfect & realized that I have to create it in my world & community". Wish a whole lot more gay men - and just folk in general-- would realize the same.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
Scott
LOSOJOSNUEVOS - IT CERTAINLY IS...
ReplyDeleteSCOTT747 - THANK YOU GUY...
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this.
ReplyDeleteI was once someone who once turned myself into everything I wasn't, just to be accepted. I've come along way from the person I was a little over a year ago. Though recently I've slowly started to drift back into that person I was. Not because it's easier for me, but because it's what's safe to me, it's what I'd grown used to. Reading this raised my spirits immensely. You are a true inspiration. Not because you always know the perfect and right thing to do. But because you are who you want to be, and you live and write the way you want to. You are proof that if you stick to what you truly are it will all pay off at the end of the day.
I really feel you TG-K. It's a constant uphill battle to be who you want to be in a culture where conformity is valued above all else.
ReplyDeleteThis for me is one of your most appealing qualities- the ability to be your true authentic self without any apologies. You are confident in who you are and in your truth and you are always striving to be better and to grow.Something we all should strive for. Excellent post...
ReplyDeleteYou can only be YOU at all times. Keep scratching and clawing.
ReplyDeleteJCAL456 - MY HOPE IS THAT EVERYONE GETS TO BE THE REAL VERSION OF THEMSELVES...
ReplyDeleteKA-OS - THAT'S THE MOST DIFFICULT THING @ TIMES, BUT WE MUST KEEP ON...
OSSIE - IT IS SCARY TO HAVE SOMEONE THAT'S REALLY SEES ME @ TIMES...THANK YOU FOR THAT
ACOUSTIC SOUL - WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE?
Color is always nice in a grey situatuion
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