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I am of the opinion that the things we do AND say hold GREAT sway over the kind of life that we create for ourselves…So when I got a text yesterday from an acquaintance of mine asking me why there are persons out there that make a mockery of our sexuality?…(you know my curiosity was peaked). However, I realized that wasn’t going to last for much longer as I realized that she was referring to her relationship (and I use the word loosely) that she has with her on AND off girlfriend of FIVE years. You see her girlfriend has problems with her sexuality and cheats on her with men…leaving her feeling like SH!T in the process. The first time it happened and she forgave her and took her back, I was like okay as long as she is happy. I am of the opinion that when someone does something like this they’ll NEVER change, but I wanted it work for her DESPITE what was SO obvious to me. So I was NOT surprised that she was back here yet AGAIN! Now I am like okay, what do you want me to do about it? I mean you know how the cat jumps yet you still want some sort of sympathy? SORRY AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN! No wonder I have NO friends (LMAO). Nonetheless, I can’t help someone that that CONSTANTLY allow themselves to be FUCKED over in such a manner. When are we going to understand that LOVE doesn’t work like this? When are we going to understand that having SO much LOVE for someone doesn’t guarantee that they’ll LOVE you back? This I am NOT good enough attitude that has SO many of us fighting to mean something to someone that don’t give a FUCK is just plain crazy. This SELF-CREATED state is TOTALLY avoidable and when it occurs how is it MINE to fix? When I was offering my opinion it wasn’t accepted AND I tend to be accused of being a KNOW-IT-ALL or a B!TCH (go figure…right?). I wish that I could find a reason to hold her hand and let her cry on my shoulder but I can’t (wrong of me huh?)…I SUPPOSE…But I’ve learned a long time ago that it is OUR duty to stay afloat as we ride the wave of life and when the debris hit us we must figure out where we want to sink to the bottom OR use it to keep us afloat…I HATE THAT THIS LIFE TAKES US TO PLACES THAT HURT & DESTROY US & AS MUCH AS MY SOUL CRIES FOR THOSE THAT FEEL PAIN BECAUSE THEY INVITED IT IN, I CAN’T TAKE ON THEIR PAIN…MAYBE I AM DELUDING MYSELF, BUT I THINK THAT LIFE & LOVE ARE THE MOST EASIEST THINGS ON THIS PLANET…IF ONLY WE ALLOW OURSELVES TO EVOLVE NATURALLY INTO IT…LOVE IS AN ACTIVE PROCESS THAT REQUIRES US TO BE ATTENTIVE, CENTERED & AWAKE…BECAUSE LIFE IS SO DYNAMIC WITH NEVER ENDING CHANGES WE WILL GET SWALLOWED WHOLE IF WE DON’T STOP, LOOK & LISTEN…TELL ME WHO IS GOING TO GIVE YOU THE LOVE YOU DESERVE? IF NOT YOU…THEN WHO?
If not you then NO ONE WILL!...SO TRUE!
ReplyDeleteCUTIE TJ - IT IS SO NICE TO SEE YOU HERE...
ReplyDeleteRegular reader, 1st time poster. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Very timely. U need to write a book.
ReplyDeleteWell, my dear gayte-keeper, the reason she texted you is precisely so you can hold her hand. She wants sympathy, YOUR sympathy.The fact that the road has been travelled before is neither here nor there.
ReplyDeleteYour sympathy is expected once more, but like a never-ending cycle, there will be talk, and then you'll offer your advise, again. And I'm pretty sure that it will not be taken (but I could be wrong, who knows?). But most of us like this cycle, we want to call our friends each time, where we will perpetually dissect the issue and give our theories on what is and what is not. WITH NO END IN SIGHT.
As a 'shoulder to cry on', you are expected to hold someone's hand while they slide into the abyss. You are not there to help them so they could pull themselves up, no. Otherwise, as you say, you get to be a 'KNOW-IT-ALL'. In some cases, you'll be asked, 'Why are you always negative? Why can't you JUST be supportive this once'?.
The person might be unwilling to hear the truth, because they are 'in love'. but really they could just be suckers for punishment.
But you know, logic should tell us to trust someone who can be honest when we need to hear the truth. But alas! The heart rules.
Listen boo...I completely understand where you are going....but when your in love sometimes it cant allow you to see where you "should be". I am in this same situation...I allow myself to be hurt by allowing the same man to have "another chance" as he say. But I have to say out of all the times Ive given him a chance...my heart is not in like it has been previously. I need to know where this is going before I can let go again. But trust me...this will be the very last time. If I see anything suspicious..then I am for sure out.
ReplyDeleteLove your ambition though....everyone's not as lucky as you!!
OYIN, SORRY DEAR (OR IS IT CO-WIFE?), BUT YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE!
ReplyDeleteHAVEN'T YOU BEEN READING GAYTE'S ADVISE ALL THIS TIME AND NOT ONLY INTERNALISING IT, BUT LEARNING TO PRACTICE IT AS WELL?
I SURE HOPE WE HAVEN'T BEEN READING WHAT HE WRITES, FOR THE SAKE OF IT? YES?
OYIN, I CAN'T HELP IT. FORGIVE ME. YOUR COMMENT HAD ME IN STITCHES.
ReplyDeleteI LIKE THAT LINE '...IF I SEE ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS...'. WHAT OTHER SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOUR ARE YOU WAITING TO SEE? HASN'T HE BEEN DODGY ALL THIS TIME? (IF I UNDERSTAND YOUR COMMENT CORRECTLY).
YOU SAY YOU'VE BEEN GIVING HIM A CHANCE ONLY FOR HIM TO HURT YOU. ISN'T THAT REASON ENOUGH?
SO NOW YOU'RE 'JUST' WAITING FOR HIM TO 'DO SOMETHING' AGAIN BEFORE YOU ACT? BUT BY STALLING INTO TAKING AN ACTION, YOU'RE SECRETLY HOPING THAT THINGS WORK OUT FOR THE TWO OF YOU? YEA, THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING. BUT DOES A LEOPARD EVER CHANGE ITS SPOTS?P
AND THEN COMES THE LAST LINE: 'LOVE YOUR AMBITION THOUGH..EVERYONE'S NOT AS LUCKY AS YOU!!'
AWWW... DID YOU JUST SAY THAT? I HOPE MANY OF US ARE HERE BECAUSE WHEN WE FIRST STARTED TO VISIT, WE SAW SOMETHING THAT WE LIKED AND THAT WE THOUGHT COULD HELP US IN OUR OWN LIVES. WE OFTEN SAY TO GAYTE: 'THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT. I NEEDED TO HEAR IT'. OR 'I FEEL YOU ON THIS ONE'. WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE SAYING? I HOPE GAYTE IS NOT ONLY ENTERTAINING US.
HEY OYIN, DON'T BE MAD. OKAY?
SHALLOTTE - I WAS THINKING YOU HAD IT WRONG WITH THE HEART RULING OUT IN THE END, BUT I HAVE TO SAY THAT YOU ARE RIGHT...
ReplyDeleteI HOPE THAT PERSONS READ WHAT I PUT HERE & TAKE IT FOR THEMSELVES BECAUSE NOTHING I PUT HERE IS FOR ME & ME ALONE...
OYIN - I LOVE YOU BUT YOU KNOW THAT WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS SETTING UP YOURSELF FOR FAILURE...I KNOW THAT I DON'T KNOW YOU THAT LONG BUT THE STEPS YOU ARE WALKING I'VE SEEN IT DONE SO MANY TIMES...ALL I CAN DO IS WISH YOU HAPPINESS & SUCCESS...& I DO TAKE A BIT OF OFFENSE TO YOUR SAYING THAT NOT EVERYONE IS LUCKY AS ME, I AM NOT LUCKY...I JUST DIDN'T ACCEPT ANY MAN BECAUSE I CAN...I WAITED UNTIL FOR NOEL TO COME INTO MY LIFE...I WAS SINGLE FOR 3 YEARS SO DON'T THINK THAT I AM LUCKY...
ReplyDeleteYou have to love yourself enough to know you deserve way much better than what you being dished out. And your friend seems to be learning that the hard way, but once u get tired of something you will come up out of it. So let her be. She will get it one day.
ReplyDeleteDEONTE'K - ONE CAN ONLY HOPE SO...
ReplyDeleteWow, I never read wordy posts but this here is worthy. Gosh LOVE is a losing game for some bt yh only if they let it. In my opinion go out with someone who loves you as much as you do them if not more and if they screw you over, you don't owe them anything and neither do they ... walk away
ReplyDeleteI started a magazine in December (ProFRESH)and would love for you to make a contribution on the subject of love/relationships BEFORE YOU WRITE YOUR BOOK (WHICH YOU SHOULD). Regardless your now no.1 in the blogs I love sector..
find me at; vanessaonalo@hotmail.co.uk
WE need to understand that no matter how much we try we can't force or create LOVE where it does not exist and the sooner we come to this realization,the better it would be.
ReplyDeleteWe can't force or make someone love us.True Love can be thought of as a 2 way street and it is reciprocal. It is a beautiful thing but it is also complex.
Remember LOVE begins with you,first and foremost. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.
ReplyDeleteVANS - THANK YOU...LET'S DO IT!
ReplyDeleteOSSIE - THAT'S THE MASTER TALKING PEOPLE! WELL MY MASTER ANYWAYS...L(O)L!
ReplyDeleteHeyyyyyyyyyy everybody chill on that issue ok. Im not offended at all....yep Shallotte, Im wifey...haha
ReplyDelete(clearing throat) now let me talk here...Ive listen/read everyone opinion. I have been through alot of issues..and no I dont just accept anyone. But I really do love this guy...Im not sitting around looking for things to happen...the thing is while im around if Im suppose to know it then it will come to me if something is not right.
Anyways, I am so close to the family that we both would encounter anyways ....so I just agreed to give this one last chance. If you really love someone then what extend do you go?? I mean what if we were married...do I walk out on my husband every time he messes up or do I try to work things out. Look at scorn woman...her husband has did her wrong for years, and now there life is on track. I admire her for that....also I believe that because he was so hidden about the cheating that he kept doing it. I blasted it on my page, and I believe that since its out and in the open....he will change. But dont worry....Im being very cautious (stay posted)
your master.....lol
ReplyDeleteok Ossie you the mannnnnnnnnnn!!
I suppose...
ReplyDeleteEveryone has their cross to bear
I totally agree with your logic sir really I do
Love is not logical @ all - and the feelings that masquerade as love definitely aren't either
I GUESS? friendship means that the other person has the choice to disagree with your advice even after they asked for it and you have the option to opt out if you can't bear to see them walk down the wrong path [in your opinion]
Otherwise the friendly duty is to offer the shoulder
After all we are all flawed and always make character damaging mistakes
Always